A/N below

Looking back, I could never imagine things would turn out this way. It was not long ago when things began to change. The shift was subtle at first, but before I could even realize what was happening, I was caught in a maelstrom of heartache, loss, and regret. I suppose I should start from the beginning, though…

The cool autumn air did little to alleviate the heat sweltering within me. If I had to deal with Karin and Suigetsu's senseless fighting for another moment, I would have lost it. I hate being so… helpless, I guess is the word. I didn't know where I was going, but I had to get away. Where I was headed I cannot recall. The blackouts are just another painful reminder of how I can never be truly independent.

Everything was in a weird state then— Taka had just been formed and we were making arrangements to work under the Akatsuki. We had about a week's cooling off period between Itachi's death and getting our first assignment under the strange Tobi character.

I don't think the others noticed the changes within Sasuke; at least, not as keenly as I did. It was so much more than a change in demeanour. The expression that dominated his weary complexion wasn't just hate or revenge, it was fear. Sasuke was lost and hid his fear in his familiar blanket of hate and revenge, avoiding the confrontation with his new emotions.

I stumbled across him sitting beside the river as I was storming through the wilderness. His sight brought me to a sudden halt. I thought to be quiet to avoid him noticing me, but I'm sure he probably became aware of my presence long before I had reached the stand of tall trees. The wind made the leaves' shadows dance across his face as he turned towards me.

"Oh, Sasuke, I didn't mean to bother you. Please excuse me." I turned to walk in another direction, but was caught by his reply.

"Jugo, come here."

As I turned to face him again, I was pulled in by his gripping, onyx eyes. I slowly made my way towards him, almost hesitantly. I noticed an unusual softness in his face—one that is very rare. I must've caught him off guard. I stopped about four feet away, afraid he would flee like a nervous cat if he got any closer. "Yes, Sasuke." I towered over him, and his neck was turned only slightly towards me. He motioned with his head for me to sit beside him.

"Those two again?" His voice was as heavy, as always, but with less impending doom than was normal for that time. His eyes were now fixed on the stream that flowed not far from our feet.

"Nh." My gaze shifted from him to the water. The silence lingered for a time. It wasn't awkward or anything, because neither of us particularly enjoyed speaking. Besides, there was nothing to say. We merely enjoyed the company of one another until his gravelly voice overthrew the babbling stream.

"Jugo."

"Hm?" His gaze was now fixed to a patch of grass to his right, away from me. I waited a bit before adding, "Am I interrupting something?"

"No. That's not it... It's nothing."

"Forgive me for not believing your words."

"Hmph." Sasuke smirked. "Very few people have the tenacity to challenge me."

"It's just that I prefer honesty."

"This isn't an honest world, Jugo…" I could tell his mind drifted to his brother. His face instantly fell and his voice hardened to its usual bitterness. I kicked myself for reminding him of that pain.

"I suppose your right… But you can trust me, Sasuke."

"Oh, yeah?" A small chuckled escaped his lips, shifting his tone from resentful to casually pissed off—his usual manner of speech.

"Is there something on your mind?" While I didn't enjoy casual conversation, it was constantly gnawing at me that he carried so much pain alone. I was familiar with that pain, and I wanted him to understand that he could trust me. I was tired of that cold stare, yet grateful at the same time.

"Nothing really."

"So you'll tell me?" I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Why should I?"

"Because I know what it's like. The river is a good listener, but I think it talks back too much. I prefer trees or birds as my conversational partners…"

"What the hell are you going on about?"

"It's just that when I was in the mountains, I would get so lonely, I had no choice but to verbalise my feelings to whatever was out there. I could think and think all day, but it gave me no warmth. It was only when he arrived that I found my purpose and had meaning."

"What a joke." He shut his eyes as he smirked.

"You haven't spoken with anyone, have you?" I turned to try and get a glimpse of the evasive eyes. "since you left the village, I mean." I knew he had found his purpose, the revenge, that is. But lately, I've been noticing a crack in his façade. His eyes shot back to the grass on his right.

"I don't need to."

"It would help you."

"You think I need help, now?" His posture got defensive, and he finally shot a glare at me.

"That's not what I meant."

"Better not be." He paused, then relaxed a little and looked towards the horizon. "Looks like the sun's already setting."

"…The days are getting shorter…" I watched as the breeze carried dark locks across his pale face. "…I'm sorry I prodded."

"Don't apologise… It's annoying."

"Would you rather I keep prodding?" He only responded with a quick laugh and a soft smile. I think he had almost returned to the somewhat lucid state I found him in, and the same peaceful silence fell upon us once again. We sat for what felt like an hour. It was almost dark by the time he spoke again.

"It's cold…"

"Karin and Suigetsu are probably settled down by now, if you want to go back to the hideout."

"No… I mean inside…" His gaze was fixed on a stationary rock in the stream. "It's hollow and dark and cold." His voice was completely flat with not intonation or emotion. I had to stop myself from gaping at him. "The only remedy is this hatred I've harboured for so long. I don't need people because it has become my friend—the warmth that fills the void." I waited before responding.

"Does that feel right to you? Natural, I mean?" His stare never wavered, not even a blink.

"For so many years, the hatred completed me and was a part of me. There was nothing left of me."

"But now…"

"…Now I am just so fucking confused…" His voice faltered here, the slightest choking on his words.

"Sasuke…" I leaned in, but I wasn't sure what I would accomplish. I certainly hadn't planned on comforting him. He would have killed me. This mentality is what made Sasuke's next move all the more surprising.

It all happened in an instant.

Before I could react, Sasuke was on his knees beside me with both hands resting on my chest and shoulders, pushing me back. His lips were cold against mine, and he let out the slightest whimper as I recovered from shock and returned the kiss. One of his hands shifted from my chest and reached for a fistful of hair to tilt my head into a better position. He forcefully pushed his tongue over my lips, and I happily indulged the small man's desires by placing a hand on his lower back and pulling him close.

A/N I haven't proofed this as much as I normally would, but I pray it is tolerable. I am planning on continuing this and developing it a bit more. Please let me know what you think! Also, I was thinking about shifting POV between Sasuke and Jugo, but because Sasuke is such an elusive character, does that seem like a poor choice? I'd appreciate your input! This is my first time writing for Naruto, but it has been my true fandom since I was young. Thanks for reading!