"When did you realize it?" Shaun asked, cupping Zach's face.
Zach couldn't remember when he fell in love with Shaun, so it came as a surprise when, out of the blue, Shaun asked.
It wasn't a single moment, or a length of time that spanned out over the course of the month—it was everything and anything; and Zach knew that he wasn't capable of expressing himself with words that would jumble together to create mass confusion in his mind as he sought to pinpoint one certain moment when he realized "hey, I fucking love him".
There were many moments and many reasons—from the day when Shaun caught him in the back of the house waxing his board, to the brief kisses they shared under the moonlight after drinking and discussing Zach's portfolio, to the way Shaun helped Cody fix the sandcastle or how he stood back and let Zach push him away in denial. Of course, there was also the morning that he woke up warmly wrapped in a down blanket with Shaun's arm holding him tight. But none of these were significant enough—yes, they had been nice and he could smile freely when thinking back on them, but these moments didn't define that exact moment.
Zach honestly didn't think he would ever be able to answer him, and his stomach began to knot up as Shaun drew a trail of kisses across his clavicle. A hand tenderly ran along his side, skipping over his ribs like piano keys and following his outstretched arm all the way to his open hand, where their fingers locked together and refused to let go. It was little moments like these that made Zach's heart swell; they also made it harder for him to tell Shaun.
"What's wrong?" Shaun asked softly, pausing his ministrations and pushing himself up to look at Zach. "I can feel your heart beat speeding up."
Zach smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he leaned up to press his lips against Shaun's, silently assuring him that there was nothing wrong. Shaun, pacified and content, allowed himself to succumb to Zach's advances because kissing Zach was like kissing Heaven, and despite having no idea of what that actually felt like, he believed it had to be related to Zach in some way, shape or form.
It was too good not to be.
Hesitantly Shaun pulled away and positioned himself so that he was lying on his side, a hand rubbing small circles on Zach's thigh. "Something's bothering you."
"Your question," Zach said. "I don't have an answer."
"I mean," he began, turning his gaze towards the ceiling and fingering the fabric of the sheet beneath him. He didn't know what he meant, and Shaun took notice of this as he frowned.
"Cute," he breathed, chuckling at Zach's frustration. "But, honestly, I didn't think you would spend this much time trying to come up with something."
"It's important though," Zach said softly, adding, "most couples say it was love at first sight or they realized they were in love at the same time."
"Zach." Shaun whispered, inching closer towards his boyfriend. "It's okay."
Zach nodded, disappointed in himself for not being able to explain it. Maybe one day he would let his art talk for him.
"Let me tell when I realized I loved you, alright?"
"Mhm," he hummed in response.
Shaun wrapped an arm around Zach and placed a gentle kiss to the top of his head; he wasn't exactly sure either. Normally when faced with this kind of situation he would say the first generic thing that popped into his mind, but lying here with Zach in the silence of their bedroom made him think otherwise. Like Zach, there wasn't one moment that he could say he realized that he had found the one, because the one was only supposed come once in a lifetime and that meant that he would only have one opportunity to realize that Zach was it.
It was a number of things.
The way Zach refused his advances when they were out in public in the beginning, or the way Zach would contact him via walkie-talkie and get him to talk for hours (the distance at which they picked up still concerned him), or even how the night of Gabe's party Zach—begrudgingly, of course—looked at him with love in heart and tears in his eyes as he told Shaun that it was over. It had been both the most amazing and heartbreaking moment of his life, and he had no idea how to react to being told to get out of the car, so he did just that—he slipped out of the vehicle without so much as another word. What else could he do? He respected Zach's wishes, and if he declared it finished, then it was and there was absolutely nothing he could have done about it.
But, that was in the past and this was now, and he told Zach that he would tell him when he fell in love.
"If I had to pick one moment," Shaun whispered, their noses rubbing together in what some would consider an Eskimo kiss. "If would have to be the day Gabe arrived and you snuck out wearing my shirt."
Zach laughed, burying his face against Shaun's bare chest to hide his embarrassment. He still had that shirt; he would wear it from time to time simply because it belonged to Shaun. Plus, Zach liked to think that he looked good in it.
Shaun brought his hands up to Zach's face, cupping his cheeks and pushing him back so that they could look at one another, their lips a breath away. "And, when I saw the pain in your eyes that night, I knew you didn't mean it."
"Your uncertainty, your compassion," he listed, soothingly running his thumbs along Zach's cheeks. "The artistic ability that could rival even the best artist, and the way you squint your eyes when you look towards the sun. And, you don't have to remember when you fell in love with me, just that you did."
Their lips touched, parting as they met and moving together in a wave of passion. Zach slid a hand along Shaun's back, his fingers grasping at his shoulders as his boyfriend loomed over him. Unblinking eyes stared down at him—riddled with need and want and unadulterated love. It was an unbelievable feeling, knowing that he was the reason behind Shaun's happiness.
"And, the way you blush." Shaun said softly as he pulled away. "Kind of like right now."
Zach wrapped his arms around Shaun, bringing their bodies closer so that he could kiss up Shaun's neck, along his jaw and to his ear, where he would whisper, "I love you."
"I love you, too." Shaun murmured, lowering himself onto Zach and lying his head above his heart, the rapid beating calming as he closed his eyes, breathed in the scent that he'd grown accustomed to, and let the silence wash over him. This was all he would ever need.
A/N:
First and foremost, I am shocked by the lack of stories for this movie. I'm more shocked that it has been titled here, to be completely honest.
Also, this was my first time writing a couple that isn't animated and for a movie! (: So, please, knowing this, don't be so harsh on me!
And, I got the idea for this after watching the scenes where they would lay in bed, talk, smile at each other and kiss, amoungst other things. I wanted to know what they would talk about it, and this is what my mind conjured up. So, I apologize if they seem a little off. I had to make them as such to get this story written.
Review, please. Thank you.
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