a/n: okay, so here's a little oneshot that popped into my head :) hope you guys like it. this is in second POV. and it may be a little confusing if you don't pay attention to the small details. and it's kinda done in two tenses, present and past. there are some flashbacks and i didn't really want to put "flashback" you know? xD
so review and let me know what you think.
disclaimer: i do not own the Gallagher Girls series, Zachary Goode, Cameron Morgan, or Macey McHenry. so yeah, disclaimed :)
* open for suggestions
They smile at each other when they think no one is watching.
He sends electrifying smiles towards her and she gladly responds, by grinning idiotically back. They sit right across from each other in class, stealing glances whenever they can, hoping you won't notice.
But you do. All the time. Everyday.
"Zach?" You whisper hoping Mr. Solomon won't catch you both.
He turns to you, eyes green as ever, and expression as neutral as possible. He raises an eyebrow, anticipating your next words.
But you don't speak, your mouth's agape when you see little sparks of happiness that gleam in his two eyes. For the first time in three months exactly, his eyes are no longer bored or sad or even lonely.
His eyes turn that way with just one secret smile from her. You just shake the thoughts away, not wanting to read too much into it. Instead of saying what you really want to say, you go, "Can I borrow your pen?"
He just nods and hands one automatically, as if you were a tyrant and he was a scared peasant. He drops the pen in your palm, trying his best not to brush his fingertips against you.
You take it and watch him face forward going back to the lesson. You reach out, taking his hand into yours. You squeeze it gently, reassuringly even. And after what feels like a lifetime, he squeezes back. Only there was no passion, no love, no anything and you could feel it.
Suddenly, your boyfriend's hands seem colder than usual.
They know so much about each other and you don't even know his favorite song.
You try not to think about it, trying not to feel the pain from the truth that was bound to reveal itself someday. Instead, you stay silent. It never used to be like this. Never. It never used to be lonely, to be scary, to be empty, and to be ... broken.
You know it. There used to be laughs, smiles, hugs, and kisses. All the time at school and especially in the halls. It was there.
Or maybe it never was, and you just like to trick yourself into thinking there was.
Because all you really wanted was to be wanted. Was to feel special, to feel like everything was finally right for you and you only.
They spend lots of time talking; about books, daily life, current events, exams, and music. They just spent so much time talking, even right in front of you. They could just talk, sit there for hours and talk about their lives.
It was always something you never understood.
Something maybe you thought you and him lacked in your relationship.
But you tried. And that deserved credit.
"We'll be late for dinner, Mace," He said to you one night as you got ready for your fifth date.
"I'm coming," You replied, twisting your hair in a loose bun, and letting thin strands frame your face. "Wait," you say, taking him by the arm, "Why don't we talk first?"
"Okay," He said hesitantly, "About what?"
"About anything we can," You shrugged.
A moment of silence fell between you two and for a long moment, no one said anything because neither of you could come up with anything to say.
They laughed at the same jokes.
He smiles and makes the effort to make her laugh, he tries so hard to bring the smallest of smiles curl upon her lips. He told her jokes, corny stories, and even tried lame punch lines. Anything to bring a smile on her porcelain face.
He never seemed to be doing that with you. Why was that? Were you not good enough?
No.
You were good enough.
He chose you in the end. That had to count for something, it didn't matter you didn't know what his favorite food was, what he felt about the current world status, what he felt about school, or what he did for fun. Because in the end, he chose you. He didn't choose her.
But you knew deep down, it did matter. You did know deep down, that you loved him, while he loved her and while she loved him back.
She loved him first, but you wanted him anyway.
There was a time you were best friends with her. Where you'd share everything together; private jokes, jewelry, stories, and secrets. Then one day, she told you she liked him.
And on that day, you started to like him too. When you saw him passing by in the halls, looking potentially cute. It just clicked for you then. Even when she liked him, even when you knew she liked him.
You needed to get to know him, so you made any excuse to talk to him, to get him to notice you.
It almost payed off.
He came up to you one day. You were surprised to see him, his eyes glowing under the golden sun. You smiled shyly, pushing a strand of hair and fluttering your piercing blue eyes.
He smiled, "Hey, Macey."
"Zach."
"So, you're good friends with Cammie right? Do you know if she's seeing anyone? Or likes anyone for that matter?" he asked simply, while running a hand through his hair.
And in that moment, your heart shattered and you were on the verge of losing your best friend, "Oh, I heard she liked Grant." You shrug carelessly.
His face literally fell, his jaw slightly dropped and eyes full of hurt, "Oh, really? She told you?"
Your chest started to tighten and tears were building up in your eyes, but you smiled apologetically, trying to look innocent. "I'm really sorry Zach, really. I am." Before you knew what you were doing, you leaned forward and pressed your lips on his. And he didn't resist.
Together, your bodies pressed against each other, hearts beating against the other, under the large oak tree for the whole world to see.
And in that moment, you thought you had it good.
He secretly loves her, and probably always will.
He still smiles when he sees her, missing her and always wondering what it would be like if it was her instead of you...
and she still smiles when he looks at her, still not knowing that it was because of you that they didn't work out.
* finished.