"Barry Makes The List"
Rated K+
Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with the World Wrestling Entertainment or the show Best Friends Whenever. The WWE and its wrestlers are owned by Vince McMahon and Best Friends Whenever and it's characters are owned by It's A Laugh Productions and Disney Channel. Anyway, I thought of this not too long ago, and it's a little drabble featuring Barry Eisenberg with a little dash of Chris Jericho on it! Here you all go!
Barry Eisenberg was pacing around in his lab back and forth waiting for something. His friend Cyd Ripley, next door neighbor Shelby Marcus and partner/confidant Naldo Montoya were busy sitting on his couch for apparently no reason. They really wanted to know why Barry would invite them at a time like this.
"Barry, I really don't mean to intrude like this, but why are we sitting here?" asked Shelby.
"You really wanna ask me stupid questions like that, or do you wanna hear an explanation from me instead?" Barry responded.
"I stand corrected." Shelby said, minding her own business.
"But since you are here, I might as well tell you anyway," Barry replied, clearing his throat before giving his explanation. "As many of you all know, I'm about to receive a letter from one of the finest universities around the entire country, S.I.U. They were impressed by my speech down at the local auditorium on the evolution of major diseases and how to find each and every single cure for them. After showing the employees my blueprint for various cures, I persuaded them well enough for a recruiting letter from their college. Hopefully, I can get in today!"
"Well, this is a huge breakthrough," Cyd nodded. "Much better when you proved the theory that you can cook a grilled cheese with a flamethrower."
"Yeah, except I accidentally torched Naldo's hat on the process." Barry gulped.
"All is forgiven, my good friend!" Naldo exclaimed.
While Barry was still wandering around, the sound of a door knocking rang through his ears as the young scientist ran over to the door and opened it. And what appeared was a mailman who looked like an old Clint Eastwood.
"Letter for Mr. Eisenberg." The mailman replied.
"About time." Barry groaned as he took the letter off his hands.
"Thanks, sonny." The mailman nodded. "I just wanted to remind you that I'm retiring after only 45 years of-"
However, the mailman was cut off when Barry shut the door in his face, therefore leading the scientist to rip the envelope to shreds.
As both Shelby, Naldo and Cyd stood up from the couch, they approached next to Barry, just to see him read what was on the letter.
"Okay, I hope this is the letter I think it is." Barry reminded them.
After a deep breath, he read what was on the letter:
Dear Mr. Eisenberg,
As headmaster of S.I.U., one of the finest colleges in all of the United States, I am hereby delighted to announce that you have enrolled into our academy starting next summer. You have impressed us with your speech about wanting to find various cures for major diseases around the world. It is very fitting that with your smarts and brains, you can help revolutionize the science industry down at our campus. After all, we are well known for the best science program in any other college here in the country. So, Mr. Barry Eisenberg, come this summer, we will hearby await your arrival here...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...at Stupid Idiot University.
Best wishes,
Jimmin Marvinluder
P.S. If you read this letter, than congratulations, you've just made the list of stupid idiots.
Barry was somehow in shock.
So was Cyd.
So did Shelby.
And so did his best friend, Naldo.
The aspiring scientist couldn't believe what he was reading was fake after all. It was nothing more than a very cruel trick made by a madman.
"I'm... a stupid idiot?" Barry gasped.
"That's probably what it says." Shelby nodded.
"Ditto." Cyd nodded as well.
"Who the heck's Jimmin Marvinluder?" Naldo gasped as well.
"I just don't understand this," Barry shook his head. "Who would do such a thing like this to me?"
Somewhere in Winnipeg (you idiot)...
A man with a Jon Bon Jovi haircut, black vest, black pants, black boots and huge purple scarf was sitting on a desk with a clipboard in hand. One by one, he was busy checking out the names on a huge white list. He checked off the names of Austin Moon, Liv Rooney, Farkle Minkus, K.C. Cooper and Jessie Prescott among others. When he got to Barry Eisenberg's name, he smirked in total evil delight.
The man who crossed off Barry's name in the list of stupid idiots was Chris Jericho.
"Well, that's another name marked off the list." Jericho replied with a smile. "I think I'll move on to sweet adorable Emma Ross. I can tell her she won the frickin' Publisher's Clearing House, only to give her a one dollar bill just to piss her off. That way she won't see..."
Somehow, in a breaking-the-4th-wall moment, Jericho looked at the reader reading this story and looked close-up to him/her, saying:
"...It coming."
Eeyup, I can definitely see this coming. Congrats to Barry on making the list of stupid idiots! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Anyway, what did the rest of you think? Feedbacks are appreciated! Until next time, Warrior over and out!