The monkey chased the weasel that stole the disclaimer saying that I don't own any Galaxy Rangers characters. Just another mad insane fic I thought of. Like I know any others.
Goose Verses the Jack In The Box
It all started when Niko, Shane and Doc returned from a mission and headed for the rec room. They saw Zozo playing with the Kiwi Kids. "Hey guys! How was the mission?" Zozo asked.
"Kind of dull," Shane shrugged.
"Gooseman only you would think that a couple of shootouts with the Black Hole Gang and a minefield in space is dull," Doc gave him a look.
"MaCross has terrible aim and half the mines were duds," Shane shrugged. He noticed Swee and Little Joe standing next to a small box on a table. Swee pushed a button and a clunky version of 'Pop Goes the Weasel' played.
BOING!
Instinctively Shane reached for his blaster as a colorful clown with a goofy face popped up. "AAAH!"
"Goose! Calm down!" Niko snapped. "Put your blaster away!"
"We all know you love target practice but really Gooseman," Doc chuckled.
"What is that horrible…hideous…Thing?" Shane recoiled.
"It's called a Jack in the Box," Niko explained. "You've never seen one before?"
"No, what's the purpose of that thing?" Shane winced as Swee pushed the clown back in and cranked the music again.
"It's a children's toy," Niko explained. "It's for playing."
"Playing what? Heart Attack?" Shane growled.
"You can't be serious?" Doc giggled. "Gooseman you're actually afraid of that thing?"
"I'm not afraid!" Shane snapped. "Back at Wolf Den you learned fast not to trust packages that explode!"
"It's a children's toy, Shane," Niko giggled. "It doesn't explode."
"Well it sounds like it explodes," Shane grumbled.
"It goes boing," Doc gave him a look. "Boing is not an explosion. You of all people should know that."
"Does it have to play that creepy music?" Shane couldn't help but shiver.
"I don't believe it. The Gooseman is scared of a Jack in the Box?" Doc smirked
"No, I am not!" Shane snapped. "I'm not scared of anything!"
BOING! The clown popped out again.
"AAAAHH!" Shane reacted quickly, smashing the toy with his fist. It took him a second to realize what he had done. "Oops…"
"WAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Swee bawled loudly. The other two Kiwi Kids joined in.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Shane rapidly apologized.
"Goose!" Niko snapped as she picked up Little Joe. "I can't believe you overreacted like that! There, there Little Joe…It's okay…"
"WAAAAAAA!" Little Joe bawled.
"I couldn't help it! That freaky thing just popped out too fast!" Shane defended himself. "That is a death trap waiting to happen!"
"You are a death trap waiting to happen!" Zozo snapped. "I just stopped them from crying ten minutes ago! Thanks a lot Goose!"
"I said I was sorry!" Shane apologized.
"What's going on?" Zach walked in. "What happened?"
"Goose killed Mr. Clown!" Swee sniffed.
"He was ticking me off!" Shane snapped. "He got what he deserved!"
At this the Kiwi Kids bawled even louder. "Thanks a lot Goose!" Zozo groaned.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Shane apologized. "Uh…The clown was a security threat!"
"Not even Little Joe's dumb enough to buy that one," Swee sniffed and glared at Shane.
"Yeah!" Little Joe yelled.
"Bad Goose!" Swee pointed a finger at him.
"Bad Goose!" Little Joe agreed.
"BAD GOOSE!" The Kiwi Kids shouted then bawled again.
"What did you do?" Zach snapped at him.
"The Gooseman took out a Jack in the Box because it scared him," Doc snickered.
"I WAS NOT SCARED!" Shane shouted. This made the Kiwi Kids bawl even louder. "Sorry! Sorry!"
"You should be," Zozo gave him a look. "Come on Kids."
"But I…" Shane made a move to try and explain.
"You've done enough," Niko gave him a look. She cuddled Little Joe. "Come on sweetie, we'll get you another toy to play with." She and Zozo left the room with the kids.
"Way to go Goose," Doc said cheerfully.
"It's not my fault!" Shane pointed to the destroyed Jack in the Box. "That thing is dangerous!"
"A Jack in the Box is dangerous?" Zach raised an eyebrow.
"YES!" Shane shouted. Sheepishly he backed down. "You could put an eye out or something…Or it could have a bomb in it. Well it could happen!"
"Let me take a wild guess," Zach sighed. "Goose you've never seen a Jack in the Box before, am I right?"
"If you mean I've never seen an evil box of death that explodes in your face with a stupid clown in it, no," Shane folded his arms, clearly in a grumpy mood. "Well there was that one time Kilbane set fire to a box with a security guard hiding inside of it…"
"Ah the root of Goose's little phobia," Doc snickered.
"I do not have a phobia!" Shane snapped. "Supertroopers don't have any phobias period! We're not scared of anything! Especially stupid little evil clowns in boxes that play stupid creepy music!"
The broken box played a few jangled strands of music. Shane roared and blasted it with his blaster. "AND STAY DEAD!" Shane shouted at the box. He whirled on one heel and stormed out of the rec room.
Zach and Doc gave each other a look. "Kind of makes you wonder how he'd react to a slinky," Zach quipped.
"I swear I've never seen the Goose freak out like that before," Doc giggled. "Oh I am going to love using this information!"
"Doc, don't," Zach groaned. "Every time we have these little conversations it usually ends up with me trying to save your behind from Goose. My bionics can only take so much."
"He he he…" Doc went off with an insane grin and a death wish to plan his prank.
"Here we go again," Zach groaned. "I think I'd better get a tune up on my bionics. Something tells me I'm gonna need it."
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The next day Shane got a package at his apartment. "What now?" Shane blinked as he unwrapped it and saw a strange tin box. "Not another one of these things!"
"What is it?" Bubblehead flew next to him and tapped on the box with his beak. It started to play music. "Ahh!"
"Bubblehead you turned it on!" Shane snapped.
"Oh, oh I don't like this thing…" Bubblehead was nervous.
"It's just one of Doc's stupid gags," Shane said, trying unsuccessfully to hide that he was nervous too. "Just a stupid little harmless toy."
"Are you sure?" Bubblehead gulped.
"I think…" Shane realized he was kind of nervous. "Maybe…"
BOING! A colorful clown popped out of the box rapidly with a loud sound.
"DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!" Shane screamed at the top of his lungs as he used his blaster to shoot it.
"KILL IT! KILL IT! KILL IT!" Bubblehead screeched, egging him on. Shane stopped shooting. "Is it dead?"
"No, but the joker who sent it to me will be…" Shane growled. "Doc you are a dead man!"
"Doc wouldn't like it if we sent him a package of death," Bubblehead kicked the blown up jack in the box in disgust.
"No, he wouldn't…" Shane realized. "Hmmmm…That gives me an idea. Bubblehead you think you can hack into the medical database?"
"No problem, but why?" Bubblehead blinked.
"Oh just a little something called payback," Shane made an evil grin.
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Later that day Doc found a box of his own on his desk. "What's this?" Doc blinked. He picked it up.
Several rubber snakes exploded out of the box with a loud sproing! "AAAHHH!" Doc yelled.
"Doc what's wrong?" Niko and Zach walked in.
"AAAHH! SNAKES! I HATE SNAKES!" Doc screamed as he tried to get the rubber snakes off .
"Calm down Doc, I don't think these will bite," Niko giggled as she took them off him.
"Eww…" Doc recoiled for a moment then recovered. "I knew that."
"I'm going to take a wild shot here," Zach sighed. "You sent a little package to Goose didn't you?"
"Yes," Doc admitted. "Okay he got me back. Lesson learned."
"I don't think so…" Shane smiled. He walked in with a giant purple and yellow snake draped around his shoulders.
"WHAT IS THAT?" Doc yelled in a high voice.
"An Andorian Python. I borrowed him from Longshot," Shane patted the serpent's head. The serpent seemed to like it.
"Good, bring him back…" Doc winced.
"Isn't he cute?" Shane said in a very happy voice. "I call him Squeezy. Because he loves to squeeze people!"
"Goose…" Doc took a step back. "Get that thing away from me!"
"Come on Doc," Shane walked up to him. "He just wants to be your friend! Give him a little hug!"
"NO!" Doc screamed in terror as he ran for his life.
"Come on Doc! Nothing to be scared of! He likes you!" Shane laughed as he chased Doc.
"YEAH FOR DINNER!" Doc yelled back.
"Ever get the feeling you're raising two sets of children Captain?" Niko gave Zach a look.
"All the time," Zach groaned. "The difference is my kids are a lot better behaved and don't cause as much damage as those two!"