This is a short fic for Legendarium Ladies April. The prompt was from April 19th, and it was based off of the painting "My Heart Like Ruins" by Marilena Mexi. I highly suggest looking at the painting before or after reading this, as it sets a mood. The girl in this is Halbarad's sister, who I made up. She is briefly mentioned in my fic "Wanderer" but her name is Elspeth. I have since changed my mind, and changed her name form Elspeth to Gilrin, just so y'all know. I'm going to try and find any times I mention her, and change her name to it's proper new form. Anyway, enjoy, Quick note- this story has some intense themes, and lots of blood, so be warned.

Pain. So much pain. Gilrin tried to move, to gather her thoughts. To remember why she was here. But where was here? Suddenly she became aware of a soft light shining through her closed eyes and into the darkness in her head. She resisted the light. No. Not yet. She didn't remember anything. She tried with every ounce of her will to remember why he was here. With a slow agony her thoughts began to come back together, to form a picture. She wished she hadn't tried to remember. She could see all over again the screaming mothers and sobbing children. The orcs ripping through them, killing without thought, no reason to who they let live and who fell screaming beneath their foul blades. Little Miria, her cousin, screaming as Gilrin tried to run with her, clutching her tiny hand as she desperately fended their attackers off with her old blade. And then the orcs tearing Miria from her grasp, and she had been helpless to stop them as they spilled Miria's blood. And the desperation of those who had fought back. She had seen Aglaron slain trying to run to her. Aglaron, who she was to marry, who had courted her with silly little bouquets of wildflowers for so long, until she had finally returned his love. And now he lay before her on the ground, blood slowly coursing into the earth, staining it red. And she had ran at the orcs, to stop them form tearing at Miria's body, to kill them for what they had done to those she loved. And in her desperation and fear she had been taken, and dragged through the woods, with those women and children the orcs had left alive. And she had fought every inch, spitting and kicking, screaming curses at them in all of the tongues she knew. And she had tried to comfort those who wept, tried to stop the tide of despair within her. Aragorn would save them. Aragorn and her brother would come. And they would be saved. So many times she had whispered this to her broken companions. And they had come. Aragorn, Halbarad her brother, their kin had come to save them. Arrows had flown,swords had rung. And she had torn herself free and grabbed an orc blade. But she was weak from pain and hardship, and she had fallen. And the orc who had killed Miria had grasped her by her hair, and his blade had torn across her throat. She had seen in that brief instant Halbarad looking at her, running for her, his eyes wide and desperate, and Aragorn behind him. The orc had fallen away from her, it's head hacked off by Halbarad. But she to had fallen, looking dimly at the blood on her hands. The blood gushing from her throat. The darkness was coming fast then. Halbarad's tears fell on her, he held her like she was a child again, desperately trying to stem the tide of blood pouring form her throat with his own hands. And Aragorn had been there, crouched down, reaching for her. She had smiled at him. She remembered. Her king. She wanted to tell him how she knew he would be the hope of their people. She wanted to tell him she was sorry she would never see it. She weakly reached for Halbarad, trying got comfort him. But the darkness had come.

And now she lay here with light trying to come back to her. Slowly, filled with pain and grief, she opened her eyes. She was laying on her back, surrounded by a golden green light. Slowly she found her vision coming back to her. Trees spread above her, their branches forming the most beautiful roof she had ever seen. She lay under the bows of a tree shining with cherry blossoms. The world around her was silent, not a sound, holding still, as if caught in amber. Light and shadow came together in a crown of brilliance around her. The forest floor was soft, her head resting on a pillow of moss. Flowers swayed gently around her in a breeze she neither felt nor heard. The light was so brilliant, dancing motes of it's golden radiance spinning around her. Without thought she slowly rolled over, and found herself resting on moss covered stairs. Slowly, she looked up, and saw that they led to a huge arch, wrought of stone, beautiful shapes carved into it's form, moss and vines growing up it, and swaying down. Beyond the arch, the light was brilliant and beautiful, the trees swaying in a breeze that was not here in the still world were she stood. She glance behind her. The forest faded into darkness, a darkness that filled her with such a sense of loneliness and longing that she cried out. Slowly, she stood up, her ragged clothes falling around her tired shoulders She was still grasping the orc blade. She looked forward. Every ounce of her being begged her to turn back. To come through the darkness, to find her way back. But she knew within herself that there was no going back. She had to walk through the brilliant light, let it burn her clean. Around the arch long grass glowed gold and green, flowers rising proud. She could see light of all colors dancing there, more beautiful then anything she could ever have imagined. Slowly she began to walk up the steps. She was so tiny. A ragged lost wanderer, still filled with the darkness behind her. She could feel herself crying as she walked forward. Every step was agony. Finally, as she reached the arch, she looked back. The darkness was gone. She could see there back along the path her home, her family, her life as it had been. She saw her birth, her childhood, she saw herself running through the woods laughing, she saw herself with Aragorn and Halbarad teaching her to fight. She saw herself helping Miria come into the world. Saw herself kissing Aglaron. Everything that had been shone behind her. With a desperate cry she turned to it, wanting to run back, to run until she found her home. But in a single instant she saw it shimmer, the shadow shining through again, before it once more became the life she had to leave. With a ragged sob she stood straight and turned away, back towards the arch. As she stepped through to the other side, she turned back one more time, touching her hand to her heart and reaching back towards what lay behind. The tears on her face were glowing like the sky, and she stepped through, to whatever lay beyond. The light was everywhere. And she was gone.