Entry for thebarsondaily's Weekly Drabble Prompt on Tumblr

Prompt: charity

Yep, this is taking place after the episode we're going to ignore and gonna call 'The episode that must not be named'

I hope you enjoy it anyway, and I'll of course continue to write Barson fics. (Especially since Dick Wolf said we might see Barba back sooner than we think. You thinking what I'm thinking? ;) ;) ;) )

Moving On Together

If Olivia was honest with herself, she still wasn't over the shock of Rafael Barba actually quitting his job completely, even after two weeks. Life was going on, especially at work, and she'd collided with Stone professionally a dozen times already, realising how used she was to Rafael's methods – despite the occasional surprise, she knew how he would do things if they got a new case. Now that familiarity, the easy, almost wordless communication was gone.

The saying "You only know what you had once it's lost" seemed all too true.

Of course the end of their professional relationship didn't mean that their friendship ended as well, but it still was extremely weird for her to go to work and know that Rafael wouldn't be there at some time of day like she was used to. No more lunches in one of their offices, no meetings, no coffee brought by the other, nothing.

That sudden reduction of contact made the transition hard already, but the fact that she didn't truly know how to approach him now made it even worse.

Surely they still communicated, texting several times a day about how Noah was doing, if Rafael would still attend Noah's next baseball game with the Little League, how Stone was doing everything wrong. If Liv had seen the latest episode of the show they'd started watching on one if their late night work sessions when they'd both needed a break.

But it still felt a little stiff to her, unnatural. She didn't really know how to ask him to come over for dinner, or what he was up to now that he'd quitted his job and needed a new one. How had his family reacted? She could imagine that Lucia Barba had lost it when she'd heard; it was no secret to her that Lucia had been incredibly proud of her son and his good job. Would he get a job in a private law firm, maybe even at the one Rita Calhoun was a partner in?

All these questions were burning inside her, and they were normal, the kinds of things best friends normally asked, but somehow she couldn't get herself to type them out, let alone call him and set up a meeting for coffee to discuss them. Because deep inside her, she was scared that he would cut her out of his life as slowly as he'd let her in, deciding that she was part of the life that he'd decided to leave behind.

This fear made her fingers freeze over the display of her phone when they'd texted jokingly about how the life of an unemployed was for him now and she'd considered calling for a second. Olivia felt guilty about that, but she also couldn't seem to overcome her feelings.

But life continued as if nothing had happened and she tried to keep up, doing her job, spending as much time as possible with Noah, and eventually accepted an invitation to a charity gala. First she hadn't wanted to go, as it was the kind of event she would meet Rafael at, but she knew that she couldn't stop doing things like this, things that were important to her.

Even if that meant that she wouldn't have a funny conversation with her best friend to look forward to, and when she got ready for the event, curling her hair and putting on one of the dresses that she'd bought some time ago but hadn't had the opportunity to wear yet, she tried to suppress the nostalgia that tried to take her over. A part of her was acting as if Rafael was dead, it was truly ridiculous.

After kissing Noah goodnight – and blushing because he told her she looked really pretty – and getting into a cab, she told herself that she would call him tomorrow and ask him to meet up for a coffee, maybe lunch. Not knowing what he was doing was really bothering her too much, and she just knew that seeing him would soothe some of her worries. Olivia found it impossible to imagine Rafael Barba, the most notorious workaholic she'd ever met, wasn't working anymore. To her, it had even felt like his decision had been quite uncharacteristic; while he was a master at improvising and coming up with decisions that actually worked as he went, she simply couldn't see him making such a huge, life-changing decision out of the blue.

However, tonight was just for having fun, mingling with acquaintances from the charities that Olivia had established strong connections with since becoming the boss at SVU and hopefully collect loads of donations for the good cause, that she told herself resolutely. She wouldn't come to a satisfying result if she just kept pondering what Rafael might be up to now.

And so she told the cab driver the address of the venue where the gala would take place, smoothing down her emerald green gown before checking her texts, answering to Amanda's last text wishing her fun at the event and asking if they wanted to organise a sleepover for the kids on one of the next weekends. If she was honest with herself, she really felt like she would need the distraction if she failed to stick to her own word and call Rafael tomorrow.

A smile automatically came onto her lips when the cab stopped in front of the venue and she saw the founder of the foundation, a good friend of hers by now, stand by the door to greet every single arriving guest despite the cold, cuddled into a thick winter coat. This woman really lived for this job, giving it her everything - probably one of the reasons why Olivia and her had gotten along very well from the first minute.
"Olivia, hello! How wonderful you could make it!"

She opened her arms for a hug and Olivia's smile only widened as she embraced the woman, the two of them lingering a little as if to give her the opportunity to benefit from Olivia's body heat. "You're crazy, Carla. You'll catch a cold standing here! Why aren't you greeting the people in the lobby, like any other sane person would?"

"What kind of a hostess would I be? You look amazing, Liv," Carla said, pecking a kiss on Liv's cheek before gesturing at the entrance doors. "You better get inside and grab a drink to warm you up. We'll chat later!"

Olivia followed her advice and after dropping her coat off, she took a glass of champagne from the tray of one of the passing waiters, slowly walking into the ballroom in the small but steady flow of arriving guests. Sipping the sparkly liquid, she let her gaze wander around the already well-filled room, spotting some familiar faces, but she didn't feel particularly like conversing for now.

She stayed away from the biggest crowds, exchanging quick greetings here and there, and allowed herself to slowly get used to the noise of conversation hanging in the air; she felt a little like an outsider, as if her presence was an oddity.

Maybe half an hour of slowly emptying her glass of champagne, saying Hello to some people and observing the room passed, when she suddenly spotted a familiar face in the crowd. In the first moment, Olivia thought that she was imagining, that her wish to see a certain person here because she was used to it was causing vivid hallucinations, for it was impossible that Delfia Rodriguez, Rafael's cousin, was here. She'd met the young woman a few times, mainly on Rafael's birthday dinner to which she'd been invited, and in Rafael's office, and thus she told herself that the woman across the room was simply reminding her of Fia, the coincidence just being too big in her mind for it to be true.

However, even after blinking a few times and glancing away, Olivia could still see Fia there, unmistakable due to her curly dark hair, her brown eyes that were just as expressive as the of her older cousin, and her graceful way of moving, a joyful smile lighting up her face as she talked to someone that was hidden outside Olivia's line of sight.

The moment she realised that she wasn't hallucinating, Olivia's mind started rushing, trying to determine whether or not she should go over and say hello, maybe even ask how Rafael was doing – there went her plan to just enjoy herself and not think about her best friend tonight.
Taking a deep breath, she told herself to calm the fuck down and be a normal person as she slowly started moving towards Fia, dodging people here and there. One group of people she had to walk around, and her heart almost stopped for a moment when the person Fia had been talking to came into view.
It was Rafael.

He looked incredibly relaxed, especially in comparison to the picture of sadness and uncertainty he'd been when she'd last seen him; his whole appearance seemed to reflect the relaxation, his suit sharp as always but lacking the trademark tie, suit jacket opened. The top buttons of his dress shirt were undone and his jaw was covered with a salt and pepper scruff that made him look even more handsome, and he smiled as if he didn't quit his job two weeks ago. A scotch glass was in his hand, and he took sips between talking easily with Fia, obviously joking from the way she kept starting to laugh.

For a second, Olivia seriously thought about turning around and walking away again, to have time to think about how to approach him, but just as she made the conscious decision to turn around, Rafael's gaze shifted, meeting hers as if they were naturally drawn to each other. Surprise passed over his face, with a trace of the same unpreparedness that she felt, then his smile returned, making his green eyes gleam. He said something to Fia and the young woman turned around, smiling at Olivia as well, and the situation left her with no other choice than to cross the distance between them and her.

"Rafael, what a surprise," Olivia managed to say once she'd reached them, her knees weirdly weak as a fluffy feeling spread in her head; it was more than obvious that she was overwhelmed from suddenly standing in front of him. A part of her was more than glad to see him and eager to finally ask him all the questions that were on her mind, but there was another voice warning her to be careful. Also blurting out everything that was swirling around in her head right now probably wasn't a good idea.

"Not for me," Rafael replied with a wink that made her heart jump, moving in to hug her warmly, lingering a little longer than necessary, like always. It felt so good to be close to him again, to feel his warmth and smell the scent of his expensive cologne; she'd been afraid she would never experience these sensations again. "I had the feeling that you would be here, that's why I didn't call you."

"Really?"

Olivia was well aware of the slightly biting undertone in her voice, and she wasn't happy about it – he probably had his reasons for not making contact, and it wasn't like she'd tried to, either.

"Yes, I saw your name on the guest list."

Rafael let go of her almost reluctantly, and Fia immediately moved in to greet Olivia with a hug, too, as if they knew each other well. "Good to see you again, Olivia."

"I didn't know you would be here, to be honest," Olivia answered after greeting Fia politely, Rafael taking a sip of his scotch with an enigmatic smirk.

"It was a quite spontaneous decision, to be honest."

The two of them looked each other into the eyes for a very long moment, until Fia cleared her throat and declared that she would get herself a drink from the bar; a second later, they were alone, and Rafael's smile faltered slightly. "Liv... I'm sorry I didn't say much about what was going on. I needed some time to figure things out, and whenever I picked up the phone I either didn't know how to start or I was interrupted," he started, genuine regret audible in his voice, and Olivia released a breath of relief – that sounded comfortingly familiar.

"It was the same for me, honestly. I wanted to offer my support, ask how you're doing." She took his hand without a second of hesitation, and almost immediately his thumb ran over the back of her hand gently. "Considering you're not here alone it would probably not be nice to ask if you got time to go somewhere we can talk..."

"Yeah, you're right. Actually, I'm kind of a guest of honour tonight, so it would be twice as rude to consider leaving. Fia probably would be fine on her own, but I can't disappoint Carla. I have to stay at least until after the speeches. Then we can go to Forlini's, if you want."

A grin came onto his lips when confusion passed over her face and he added: "You'll find out in a few minutes. After that, I'll explain everything, I promise."

"I'm curious," Olivia said, raising an eyebrow as she tried to make sense of his words and failed – even for her, who was a seasoned police officer and knew him so well, they were a little cryptic. She didn't have to wait for long, though, as the lights were dimmed only a good minute later, drawing everyone's attention to the stage at the head of the room.

Carla was in her element, smiling under the applause of the guests as she walked to the microphone and started with welcoming the guests, introducing the main sponsors of the evening and the main fundraising action that would be taking place tonight. Olivia applauded politely with everyone else, but she started to get impatient as well, shifting from one foot onto the other and throwing Rafael glances from the corner of her eye; Rafael, on the other hand, was perfectly calm, even smirked to himself whenever he noticed that she was looking at him. And it only seemed to get worse as Carla proceeded to inform about recent successes of the foundation – not that she wasn't interested in hearing how the various projects for victims of rape and domestic abuse were going, but she just had difficulty to concentrate on it.

"And finally, before the buffet is opened, I'd like to announce a new addition to our foundation staff. Mr Rafael Barba will take over the position as the foundation's lawyer, supporting victims that need legal support."

The moment the words left Carla's mouth and she looked over to them with a big smile, Olivia could have kicked herself. With his little hints, she could have come to the conclusion, seriously.

And yet his decision surprised her a little, as it wasn't what she'd expected; thus, her eyes were wide when she turned to Rafael, mouth slightly open. Rafael's smirk was gone, replaced by a sheepish smile, and he buried his hands in the pockets of his pants while the applause rose once more and some people, seemingly familiar with Rafael's name, followed Carla's gaze. But no matter how much attention was on Rafael, he only had eyes for Olivia, and looked quite glad when the attention disappeared as quickly as it had come when Carla opened the buffet and most of the people started to file into the adjoining room.

Without hesitating a second, he stepped closer and laced his fingers through hers, his eyes holding the same melancholy as they had during their last meeting, but this time he didn't look lost anymore. He looked like someone who was seeing his life clearly and was content with the decisions he'd made, having found a new purpose in his life.

"I said you changed me, Liv. You opened my mind, made me see the world through your eyes, made me want to always try to support the victims in every way I could, give a hundred percent for them. And I felt like I had to do good with that gift you gave me. This isn't only thanks to you, but also for you."

His voice was filled with genuine adoration, his green eyes shining with warmth and affection, and Olivia wasn't ashamed of the tears pricking in her eyes almost immediately. She definitely hadn't been prepared for that, at all, and she hurried to carefully wipe over her eyes, trying not to smudge her makeup.

"Rafael…"

"The impact you had on my life… it's the best that could have happened to me," he added gently, smiling, and now Olivia couldn't react quickly enough to stop the tears from falling from her eyes and rolling down her cheeks. "But I wanted to wait until it was confirmed, so I would have something real to present to you."

Olivia's head was spinning a little, and she could barely believe that this was truly happening. Taking deep breaths to calm herself down, she shrugged lightly, a sobbed laugh escaping her before she said with a shaky voice: "I… I don't know what to say. I guess apart from the paper flowers Noah made for my birthday this is the best gift I ever received."

"Yeah, those were pretty cool. I'm glad I came close to that."

He smirked, and some of the shock that was still rendering her unable to do much apart from looking at him in wonder and disbelief was pushed to the side, making room for the realisation how much she'd missed this expression and how it made her feel. But what she'd missed even more were these little touches neither of them seemed to be aware of most of the time, neither of them pulling back once they'd noticed them. It was just something they did, something that felt familiar and even soothing, coming naturally to them.

"Liv… how about we go somewhere we can talk? Maybe our booth at Forlini's is unoccupied," Rafael suggested softly, hope shining in his eyes, and Olivia didn't hesitate for a second, nodding quickly while wiping over her cheeks. She knew that Carla would understand if they left early, and Fia, too. Glancing over to the bar, Olivia spotted the young woman talking to a tall, dark-haired man who had his back to them – but still his built and posture were weirdly familiar to Liv, though she couldn't put her finger on it – and she had the feeling that Fia would be fine. If she'd been introduced to the plan, she'd probably known from the start that she wouldn't be in her cousin's company for long tonight.

Smiling at Rafael, she tightened her hold on his hand and they started moving towards the exit, steps in sync, shoulders touching.

They barely talked on the short cab ride to Forlini's, simply exchanging glances and smiles as they enjoyed being around each other again – the two weeks had felt like an eternity, and it was as if a weight had been lifted off Olivia's chest.

Walking into Forlini's and finding the booth they usually sat in when they knew they wanted to stay longer and talk with some privacy felt like the most natural thing in the world; Rafael slid onto the comfy leather bench next to her, not letting go of her hand, and Liv thought she'd caught the barkeeper – who of course knew them by first name by now – smirk knowingly. But when she glanced over again, he wore a neutral expression and she told herself that she'd imagined it.

After ordering their drinks and receiving them within a minute – the barkeeper had obviously prepared them once they'd entered the bar – Olivia took a sip of her cabernet and turned towards Rafael, their knees touching. "So, how come you got the job?"

"You know how Carla is. She knows someone who knows someone who heard I quit, and she said she remembered how good you spoke of me, so she called me after a few days to ask if I would be interested in working for her foundation. Their law consultant retired and she said she just had to ask me," he started to explain, and Olivia cocked her head lightly, fingers gliding over the rim of her glass.

"I had the impression that you wanted to get away from the law, to be honest."

Rafael chuckled, nodding lightly, and glanced down at his scotch for a long moment before meeting her eyes again and replying: "You know me too well, Liv. Yeah, originally, that was the plan. But Carla's offer just sounded too good to say no, especially since she made it extra special for me. I'm not only going to be responsible for law problems, but I'll also be training to become a crisis counselor, and help with developing and planning projects. I feel like I'll be able to help the way I've wanted to for some time."

He reached out, gently stopping her from touching the glass and wrapping his fingers around hers, their gazes locked. "At first I thought moving on would mean doing something entirely different, get away from caring. But then I realised I couldn't do that. I wouldn't be happy with that, and you… well, you wouldn't be either."

She opened her mouth to protest, but Rafael shook his head quickly. "Liv, I know. An unreasonable thought. But I guess it helped me realise that I didn't want to abandon everything about my job, I just needed a change of perspective. I needed something where my morals and my determination to help wouldn't endanger my position, and where my help wouldn't be limited."

A smile lifted the corners of her mouth and Olivia released a little sigh before replying: "I have to admit that I'm proud of you, Rafael. You continue to surprise me, and I'm really proud that you've chosen this way. And maybe a little embarrassed that you think it's thanks to me. It was all you, Rafa. You're a good man."

"And a feminist icon."

They chuckled, and Olivia's insides were flooded with warmth; it was a little bit as if the last two weeks hadn't happened. "With this job, you'll be gaining a lot on that point."

Another moment of chuckling followed, then Rafael suddenly got serious. "Liv, I'm sorry if I made you think that moving on meant moving on from our friendship, too. And I know the lack of contact made it look like that. Liv… I would never be able to leave you behind, or Noah, or the squad. You accepted me into your family, and I'll be forever grateful for that."

He paused, glancing down at their hands in thought, as if he had to gather courage for something, and Olivia's heart started to race, knowing what kind of topic he was about to talk about. It was something they'd avoided to talk about for months while their relationship continued to grow closer and started to be more than normal friendship. A part of her was still scared about facing these feelings, but when Rafael lifted his gaze again and she saw the love shining in the green depths she knew that they were both realising that this was a chance for them. Nothing was standing in their way anymore, and she squeezed his hand in an attempt to encourage him to say it; she didn't expect a big speech, only these three words that were close to bursting from her mouth as well.

"Liv… I would never be able to move on from you. And I don't want to. You're the best thing that ever happened to me. The only moving on I want to do would be with you."

The anticipation made Olivia shift a little, and just as he took a deep breath to speak again, she just couldn't wait any longer and blurted out: "I love you. And I want to move on with you, too."

It was obvious that he hadn't expected that, surprise written all over his face, but then Olivia grabbed the lapels of his suit jacket to pull him towards her, he reacted immediately. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he mumbled something that sounded like 'Finally' under his breath before their lips met in a sweet, yet tentative kiss, as if they were both afraid that this was a dream they could wake from any moment. The world around them faded into the background and suddenly, everything just felt completely right; the worries that had occupied Olivia's mind were forgotten, and all she could think of – apart from what an amazing kisser he was – was that this was the start of a new part of her life.

Of their life. Together.

There were no rules keeping them apart now, and she was more than ready to take the leap and move on into this new, undiscovered land with him and Noah.

They'd certainly waited long enough for this.