There she runs. Leaving only some scent of fear.
Here I am. Left being imprisoned in the library. Funny, you know. They say that all the wisdom lays in books and yet I don't know how to get out of this – all of this. Everything that has been happening lately I theoretically could look up in books, but where to begin?
To my left there's a division called Philosophy. Somewhere I read that it means "love of wisdom". I tried to understand it by reading in in some of these books the last three days. I especially searched for terms like "wolf, wolves" but the only thing I came up with was "homo homini lupus". Thomas Hobbes, the book's author, said that every "man is wolf to man", further "Whatever the result of a war where every man is enemy to every man…". I mean, I get it. There are people manipulating other people everywhere. No wonder everyone's afraid of the big bad wolf out there. Truth is, they only are afraid of their own and need someone to blame for. But why her? Why Ruby? Look at these hypocrites. Right, she's killed a man before but she wasn't even conscious when doing it. These people however are out there to kill her – and they are very conscious about that. Still they are totally fine with that. What a twisted world.
To my right there's the division called Biology. It means "the study of life and living organisms". I also tried my luck in this section but can't exactly recall the words they described the species wolf. Fortunately the book is within my reach so I grab it and read the significant passage again. What I find most interesting is the fact that dogs are related to wolves. And I know that people like to have pets like dogs. Obviously there is a difference between dogs and wolves otherwise they wouldn't be so afraid of them. The book says that wolves are not easy to train – especially in contrary to dogs. That they are undomesticated yet they are related.
You know, comparing Ruby to others this book is right. I've never met someone like her before. She's undomesticated in a unique way. Not wild in being uncontrollable, but special, different – I could already tell when she was interacting with me for the first time. She wants to be independent, she wants to make her own choices, wants people to respect that hence she also gives people a choice in return. That's what I like about her. Being a wolf is nothing about being antisocial, it's quite the opposite. They only fight for their needs and if you don't take them away, they don't even need to fight. And at the other hand you have dogs. Don't get me wrong, they are cute, but some of them are also very naïve and blind loyal. They do whatever you tell them to do. If you tell them to bite they bite, if you tell them to bark they bark. But being on their own they don't know what to do apart from sleeping.
Wolves are mysterious, so is Ruby.
God, I can't even be mad at her for locking me up. It's just so very sad. Of course I don't know how it feels being a wolf. It's easy for me to talk. I don't feel the way she feels. And I admit I always wanted to be independent because I had a choice. She never had that choice. And that's the difference between the two of us. She had to live with it from the very beginning of full moon, I decided to live with it. And maybe that's the reason she left. Because she thinks I don't take her serious. Because she thinks I could and also would never try to understand. Right, because I'm Belle, I see the good in everyone, I don't even need to understand them – I'm so stupid. That's it! She left because she believed that that's just what I do for a living, believing everyone is good, when she only wanted me to understand. To understand that she indeed in this very moment is a monster – because she feels so herself. So it doesn't even matter what everyone else thinks. I should've taken her more serious. Damn it.
Dogs you simply can pet and they love you, but wolves want you to trust them until they do.