A/N: I do not own Inuyasha, it all belongs to Rumiko Takahashi.
Everything was blurry around him; his mind was not registering what was going on. He was just following some base instincts that told him when to drink, eat, and possibly sleep. Sleep was bad right now it was something he was trying to avoid, if he slept he would dream, and if he dreamed it would be of- none of that mattered now. Nothing mattered.
All it took was one second and his life inexplicably shattered apart, and there was no one there to pick up the pieces. He growled in frustration, he could feel the sting of tears beginning to form and he blinked them back as fast as he could. He would not cry, crying was for the weak; it wasn't until-
"ARGH! Kaze no kizu!" He growled out in frustration as he took Tessaiga out of its sheath and released the cutting wind technique. The blast of power from the sword tore through the vegetation as if it was paper; nothing remained from it except for the 4 scorch marks from where the wind cut through.
Inuyasha sank to his knees, punching the ground over and over again screaming at the top of his lungs. The scream sounded inhuman, more animalistic as he took out his anger, his sadness on the ground below him. He didn't stop until his knuckles were bruised and bleeding. He couldn't hold back the tears no more, he broke down crying silently letting the tears run down his face and gently falling onto his bruised hand.
He could still hear her voice calling out for him, he could still smell her sweet fragrance on him, and he could still feel her warmth against him as if she was lying upon his chest. He stayed like that for hours on end just sitting there letting the tears flow until he went numb. Inuyasha slowly stood up and walked over to a tree where he sank against its trunk, where he let sleep consume him.
He awoke sometime later, it was dark all around and he could see the light of the stars shining down on him. Inuyasha looked away from the stars; he didn't need any more reminders of her. A growling could be heard and he realized he hadn't eaten in days but did nothing about it. What was the point, she was gone and he had nothing left to live-
"Father!" A worrier voice called high above Inuyasha. His eldest son had flown in on Kiara who landed before him.
"I've been looking for you for days! What are you doing all the way out here? We need you back in the village." His son slowly approached him, and stood a few feet away. He appeared to be unsure of getting any closer to his father, like he was cornering a wild animal that could attack at any second.
Inuyasha never replied he stared off into the distance, believing a reply was not needed. He could sense his sons discomfort, grief, sadness, and anger? Why would he be angry? Inuyasha could understand the other emotions but anger?
"Keh, like you guys need me back at the village. The forest is being taken care of by you and your brother. Your sister is a healer too; everyone is being looked after by the three of you. The village is better off without me around." Inuyasha's voice was dead, there was no emotions left within him.
"I'll never forgive you."
Inuyasha's eyes went wide and his head snapped toward his son. "What?" He spit venomously, his voice oozed with agitation.
"I won't. If you don't come back, I won't forgive you." His son held his head high, but Inuyasha could see through his facade. His son was attempting to give him an ultimatum, trying to force him back, to that stupid village, a place that no longer felt like home. Inuyasha knew though, even if he didn't come back to the village, if it took him years to return, his son being a gentle soul, would forgive him. He was so much like her...
"You think this gives you the right to act fuckin' pious?" Inuyasha spat out as he stood up. He didn't want to fight with his son, he didn't want to hurt him, but he just needed to be left the fuck alone.
"What did you say?" His son growled lowly as his fists clenched at his side.
Inuyasha glared at his son as he barked back. "You fucking heard me! What the fuck gives you the right to act self-righteous? Is this cause you're trying to bring me back? Cause I'll tell you now I ain't ever going back!"
The words echoed over the clearing, finalizing the severity of the words that were spoken. His son unclenched his hands and gave Inuyasha a forlorn look.
"I'm not trying to act self-righteous, all I wanted was to have my grieving father around and grieve with the rest of the family. It's not just you who is hurting now! All of us are hurting! My brother and sister yearn to have the comfort of their father, Auntie Sango is hurting too! She lost Uncle Miroku not that long ago as well, and now she lost her best friend!"
Inuyasha opened his mouth with a retort ready so go but his son would not let him speak.
"No! You don't get to say anything! I lost my mother! My siblings lost their mother! And with you running off to handle your grief it's like we lost a father as well! YOU MIGHT AS WELL BE DEAD!" He barked and Inuyasha actually flinched back from the fierceness in his son's voice. He never heard his son use this tone of voice before especially against him.
His son turned around and walked over to where Kiara was standing. He stopped beside the two tailed cat youkai and mumbled over his shoulder.
"We'll all miss mother but think about it. Do you really think she would want you to be on your own? You can't tell me if the situation was reversed would she be out here alone?"
His son jumped on Kiara and tapped into her sides. The giant youkai cat took off into the night sky leaving Inuyasha standing there.
Inuyasha walked back over to the tree he was sitting against earlier and yet again sat against it, his hand finding the beads of subjugation around his neck. He could still hear Kagome saying "it". He could still see her enraged face as she would yell osuwari it.
Inuyasha closed his eyes as he recalled memories of his Kagome. He remembered the feel of her skin against him in the midst of the night during sessions of his passion. He remembered walking into the hut right after she had given birth to all 3 of their children. He could recall Kagome humming to each baby during the night when they wouldn't sleep.
The image of her tending to one of the villagers injuries, sweat beading down her gentle skin due to the humid heat of the summer, even after she already had a long day, and hadn't eaten since morning. He could practically see her chasing around their sons out of the garden as they drowned the plants in water.
He watched as her hair went from the luscious black locks, to having a few gray hairs and when it fully gray. Kagome would look at her appearance in her reflection at the river or hot springs, freaking out as she saw the signs of aging, while Inuyasha stayed the same.
Her supple skin once showed so much youth, begun to lose its elasticity and began to wrinkle. Kagome eventually had a harder time walking, her back ached and at night Inuyasha would massage it for her. She began to forget things as well. She would forget about shrine duties, or how to wrap a certain injury. He took care of her when she had fallen ill and was bed bound. He would help her get up to relieve herself, made her food when she couldn't, and kept her warm at night when her shivering wouldn't cease.
Inuyasha glanced up at the night sky, looking at the stars for what feels like the first time in his life, a light came across the sky quickly shooting pass and disappearing. If you had blinked you would have missed seeing it.
"Look! A shooting star! Hurry and make a wish!"
Inuyasha closed his eyes as he could feel new tears rising. Sharp pain spread throughout his chest, centralized around his heart. His heart was literally breaking and Kagome wouldn't be there to help put the pieces back together.
"Inuyasha,"
He clenched his eyes together harder attempting to blink back the tears.
"Promise me something."
He scoffed before replying. "Like what?"
"Promise me you'll look after our children. Promise me you'll be there for them." Kagome stammered as talking has become increasingly difficult as her illness progressed.
"Keh," Inuyasha rolled his eyes at his mate. "Stupid, of course I'll look after them and be there for them. I'm their father ain't I?"
Kagome gave a soft smile but it didn't reach her eyes. She looked lifted her hand and grasped Inuyasha's hand as tight as she could, her eyes becoming serious.
"Promise me! I'm being serious Inuyasha. Just don't abandon them, ok? Just be there for them, they'll need you." She quaked as a set of coughs rattled through her weak frame.
"Here," Inuyasha put another blanket on top of her and gave her a drink of water to help settle the coughing. "Just rest now; you'll need it to regain your strength."
Kagome gave him a melancholy look. "Do you promise?"
"Yeah, yeah, I promise. Just rest, ok?" He patted her arm reassuring her.
Kagome nodded as she let sleep consume her.
Inuyasha opened his eyes and felt a new wave of resolve spread through him. He had completely forgotten about this promise with his grief consuming him like a disease. He promised Kagome he would look after the kids. He promised her a few days before she had passed away and when she finally let go he had completely lost himself, forgetting what was truly important. "Kagome, you knew I was going to react this way. Please forgive me. I'm going to set things right."
Inuyasha stood up and wiped the tears off his face. With determination he ran towards the direction of the village, hoping Kagome would forgive him for being the Baka he is. Inuyasha never stopped, he just ran with everything he had left in him. It wasn't until he got to the hut, a few days later that he actually slowed down.
His daughter was moving the straw mat out of her way as she exited dropping the buckets to the ground. "Father?" She gasped as her hand flung to her mouth. She broke down into sobs and ran toward him throwing her arms around his waist.
"Shhh... I'm sorry it took me this long to come back. I'm here now, you don't need to worry." Inuyasha muttered as he gently rubbed her back.
"I didn't think we would see you again! And look at you!" She broke out of the forced hug, to glimpse at his distraught state. She grabbed his hand and forced him inside the hut.
"You must sit and eat something Father." She forced him to sit by the hearth as she grabbed a bowl and set about filling it with food. She forced him to take the bowl without listening to his protests he wasn't hungry.
His sons walked in and before they could say anything his daughter had forced them back out. She demanded that they get fresh water and more firewood. One son set about doing both jobs and smiled at his father before leaving. His eldest son blankly stared at him for a moment before speaking.
"You came back." His voice was ice cold and Inuyasha expected him to be hurt from their previous conversation.
"I remembered a promise I made to someone dear to me. Being the Baka I am, it took way too long to remember that promise." Inuyasha gave his son an apologetic look. "I'm sorry it took me this long to figure it out."
"It's fine, just glad to have you back." His eldest son sincerely replied. Inuyasha gave him a soft smile before stuffing his face full of food.
The day went by smoothly, Inuyasha and his children enjoyed each other's company into the evening. As they settled down into their sleeping rolls and wave of a familiar aura passed through the hut. Inuyasha clasped the beads of subjugation tightly, as he let the aura calm him for one last time.
"You don't gotta worry Kagome, ima take real good care of these kids. Sorry for making you worry, I won't forget the promise I made to you." Inuyasha drifted off to sleep, with visions of his feisty, youthful Kagome, the one he didn't even realized he fell in love with right away, was pointing at the sky to show him all the shooting stars passing by.