"I'm never talking to that prat again!" James snapped, slamming the door shut behind him. Remus looked up from his book confused.
He dutifully slipped a marker into the book before setting it aside. "And who is he that you are referring to?" He flopped backwards on his bed.
James pushed his glasses further up his nose, glaring at the room as if it had personally done him wrong. "Sirius Orion Black."
The door opened slowly behind the furious teenager, Peter quietly sneaking into the boys' dormitory. "You're really mad, aren't you?"
"Mad?" James scowled. "I'm bloody well furious at him." He paused as he studied Peter vigilantly. "Did he even apologize?"
Peter's eyes went wide as he tried to fumble for words. "Oh, not in so many words, you know. It's just, Sirius is a little hysterical. The way he gets sometimes. You know."
Remus rolled his eyes before sitting up. "You did drench his hair in oil before proclaiming him as the twin of Severus Snape with a better nose yesterday at lunch."
"With a better nose!" He barked before throwing Sirius's pillow violently across the room. "I gave him that at least! But he, that devious devil crossed the line."
As if on cue, the devious devil himself swung the door opened at last with a grand flourish and bowed. "Devious devil? I like that one quite a bit. Maybe a touch more than Padfoot, even. I'm being serious, James." He grinned widely at them. "Get it?"
"Go to hell, you bloody bastard."
Remus frowned. "I have a roaring headache. Why don't you settle this in a civilized manner and simply just try to poke each other's eyes out."
Peter furrowed his brow. "Is that really civilized?"
"As long as they do so quietly and politely."
"I cannot believe you, you lowly leach!" James spat at him.
Sirius picked up his pillow smugly. "Payback. Don't like the teeth than don't pull the tail."
"I hope you live a long and miserable life."
"Please." He waved his hand flippantly. "It would be worth it. The look on your face!" Sirius roared with laughter.
Remus frowned. "What did you even do to him?"
James threw himself facedown onto his bed and screamed into the pillow. Peter awkwardly patted his back.
"I ate his homework." Sirius replied cheekily.
"I had to tell her that a dog ate my bloody homework." James glowered, lifting his head slightly from the abused cushion.