"What if you had to say good-bye to your best friend?
No. Worse. What If you had to say good-bye to Spock?"
Kirk's eyes flicker up from the table to McCoy, who is still pouring their drinks. The answer should be simple, a cocky 'Well, that won't ever happen, Bones' would suffice. But the thought catches him off guard and suddenly his throat closes a little. Say good-bye to Spock? That doesn't seem...that doesn't seem fair.
"I don't quite understand what you're asking, Bones." He says.
"What if Spock transferred ships, and the U.S.S. Enterprise continued on without him? What would you say to him?" McCoy asks, setting the drink down in front of him.
"Is this one of your psychological tests?" Kirk smirks, hiding the tension growing in his chest.
"Yes." McCoy nods. "Take all the time you need."
Kirk doesn't want to admit it, but if he had all the time in the universe he wouldn't be able to convince himself to say the answer out loud. Just the thought of having to say good-bye, of knowing full well it's never impossible for members of Star Fleet to be moved if it's sincerely needed, hurts. It makes a quiet whine build in his chest where regular breathing should occupy. Instead of showing it, however, he laughs and downs his drink.
"Maybe we'll save this test for another time. I'm going back to the bridge." Kirk stands.
"Captain, if I may suggest-"
"I'll give it some thought." Kirk promises.
"Very well." McCoy nods, knowing he can't keep Kirk here.
On the way up he runs into Spock answering a crew member's question. For no visible reason he stops and waits for Spock to finish.
"Is everything alright, Captain? You seem uneasy." Spock asks.
"Everything is fine, Mr. Spock." Kirk clears his throat. "I was merely...pondering. I just want you to know...if, in a hypothetical world, it was necessary for you to change ships...You would be missed."
"I don't know where this sentiment is coming from, but it is appreciated." Spock folded his hands.
"I would miss you, Spock."
"I know, Captain."