I try to focus on the positives. I'm luckier than most in the Seam, I know that. I do. It's just hard to feel so powerless every day and to know it's true.

My family is better off than ever before but it's not down to me, no matter how I try I can never do enough. Ever since I was 14 years old I've risked my life hunting in the woods surrounding the district to feed my family but it was never enough, we all survived, but barely at times.

Now I'm working in the mines Katniss hunts for us and I only head out to the woods on a Sunday, what was once my family's lifeline has become mine alone. I sneak under the fence before daybreak to watch the sunrise, hunt, gather, stretch my muscles, and feel free.

It's still hard to take the food from Katniss, I fought with my mother when I found out she was accepting it, feels too much like charity. I know that we need it, I know that I would do the same if our positions were switched, I know that Katniss feels like she owes me for feeding her mum and Prim while she was in the games but it still stings.

The whistle marking the end of the work day shakes me from my thoughts and I feel the scowl on my face relax.

I dump my coal in the lot and elbow my way to the front of the lift queue, earning grumbles from my colleagues but I don't pay attention to them, just desperate to see the sun again. I'm selfish, I know that, I'm not the only one here to have lost a loved one in these mines but I need out. If they were as affected by being down here they would shove too, right?

As I grow closer to the surface, my thoughts grow more positive, I'm luckier than most in the seam. Risky childhood aside, I now have a salary to support my family, we have meat brought to us every day, parcel days are over as Katniss and Peeta won the games more than a year ago but we still have some treats saved from the parcels, Rory hasn't taken out any tesserae, all the kids are looking healthier every day, I go to the woods every week. Things have changed, sure, but life always does.

I take in a few gulps of fresher air (no air in the seam can ever seem fresh when you've been in the woods) and set off on the walk home, I need to figure out a way to stay positive in the mines, the repetitive motion, chipping away, doesn't need much concentration so my mind is free to wander and dwell. Maybe I'll try to make up some bedtime stories for Posy tomorrow, keep my mind busy. As I walk in the house and turn to hang up my gear I notice Katniss sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of tea, she must have been persuaded to stay by mum.

"Hey" I say, grabbing the chair across from her. Katniss just gives me a small smile and returns to staring into her cup. I know the victory tour is coming up in a few weeks, any reminder of the games will always be tough for her. Maybe it will get better with time but this is the first tour since her own, the first time she will have to be in the same place as the families of last year's tributes and the reason they didn't come home. I won't ever say anything to her but I'm thankful that it was a Quarter Quell last year, only 18 year olds were included in the reaping, that meant Rory skipped a year and Katniss didn't have to try to save a quivering 12 year old only to fail.

I fidget a bit before I heave myself to my feet to pour some tea, I can smell the mint from the pot and something meaty on the stove, I lift the lid from the pan to stir the contents. Mum must have put on a soup to be ready when they get back from the school, Posy has a visit tonight and mum took Rory and Vick along as they had been misbehaving so she said they could not be trusted to be home alone. I turn to Katniss and ask "Staying for dinner?"

She looks up and nods before grabbing a bag from the chair next to her and handing it to me, I look inside and scowl before I grunt a "thanks". It's bakery bread. I accept the meat because I know she'd be catching it anyway but I still don't like taking anything from Peeta. Katniss knows me too well though and after I refused the first few loaves of bread she started giving the bread straight to Posy or Vick, knowing I couldn't refuse their little faces smiling at me.

"He's not a terrible person you know." I look up startled, I have no idea who she is talking about. She must see my bewildered expression as she explains "Wonder Boyce". I frown as she mentions the victor's name.

Things are getting better with me and Katniss, it's been a whole year since I kissed her just before her victory tour. Then she returned and did something completely unexpected, she talked to me. She told me of horrible crackdowns in other districts, public executions, conditions worsening and the truth about victors. How everyone she meets seems broken, I think there's something else there but I guess it's not her place to give me details of other people's lives. She also returned engaged to Peeta, I was devastated but she explained about the threats from President Snow and told me in no uncertain terms that nothing would happen with us. As far as she is concerned we are cousins, as was spread around the Capitol while she was in the games.

That firm "no" was the best thing I could have heard from her, it allowed me to accept that she was with Peeta and start to get over it. It took some time though and things are still a little awkward. Although I want to shout at her for any kind words about a career I do know that she knows so much more about the Games than I ever will so I give her a chance to explain.

"How so?"

She sighs and sinks further into her chair before answering, "They're not given a choice about training, in One. Apparently the parents choose to send them or not, every career from One has been sent to the games by their family".

My frown deepens as I think about her words and consider if this changes how I feel. "That's sick, but I'll always hate them. We lose children every year to them, I remember the moment Wonder plunged his sword through the heart of the blind boy from Nine during the bloodbath. He smiled."

"He was just playing the game. Sponsors."

I sigh and lean back in my chair, running my fingers through my hair "It would be different if we could train too, I just think of Vick, in six months facing a v… career" Katniss gives me a sharp look at my near slip, she volunteered for the games to save Prim and doesn't like it when anyone mixes up volunteers and careers. "How do you know all of this anyway?"

"Talking to the other Victors" she replies, "there's not much to do in the Capitol after…" she trails off and I finish her sentence silently "after both our tributes die".

I check the old clock and get up to start setting the table for when my family gets home, Katniss joins me in silence. We're both lost in thought as Rory comes barrelling through the door.