The mayor of Ponyville had called a special town meeting. Everypony was buzzing with anticipation as to what could possibly have been so important that every citizen of Ponyville needed to hear it.
"I bet it's something bad," said Twilight. "Why else would she want to talk to everypony at once?"
"I bet it's to PARTY!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed. She blew into a party horn that just seemed to appear out of nowhere in her mouth.
"Yeah, relax, Twilight," said Applejack. "She don't look upset."
"Attention, citizens of Ponyville," said the mayor. "I called you all together today for a very special announcement. Our town is about to enter the 21st century!"
"YIPPPEEEEE!' Pinkie Pie squealed, then whispered, "What's that mean?"
The mayor held up a small white plastic box. "This is a router."
"WOOOOOHOOOOOO!" Pinkie Pie shouted. "What's a router?"
"It's ugly," Rarity scoffed.
"I'm sure you have all heard about the Internet, the digital network that is currently connecting all of Equestria in ways we've only been able to imagine," said the mayor. "With this router, the first of many we hope to install in our fair town, all of you will finally be connected to the Internet. Consultants from Canterlot are here all week to help each of you get connected. Just schedule an appointment with a consultant if you want your Internet access in your home!"
The word "home" had barely passed her lips when the crowd rushed to the consultants who were gathered at the side of the stage.
"All right! Finally!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed. "Cloudsdale has already had Internet for over a year now, and it's amazing!"
"I can't wait to connect with other animal enthusiasts," said Fluttershy.
"I can't wait to share my fashion!" said Rarity. They made for the line, but Twilight Sparkle turned the other way.
"Twilight, where are you going?" Applejack asked. "I'd think for sure you'd be excited about this."
"Excited? EXCITED?!" Twilight shouted. "This is awful! Haven't you heard what the Internet is doing?" They all looked at each other and shrugged. "It's putting newspapers and bookstores out of business! BOOKSTORES! OUT OF BUSINESS!" she shrieked. "People aren't even going to libraries anymore! They're just sitting at home and...and...Googling things."
"Oh yeah!" Rainbow Dash said. "Google is awesome. You just type in a question, and it finds the answer for you!"
"Oooooooooh!" the friends all said together.
"That's not good! Nobody is taking the time to really learn anything anymore," said Twilight. "Good quality learning can only come from books, and that's that," she said. "So no, I will not be getting the Internet."
"Suit yourself," said Rainbow Dash.
"You're really going to be the only person in Ponyville who doesn't have the Internet?" Rarity asked.
"That's right," said Twilight. "It's the principal of the matter."
"I bet that we'll all be as smart as you in no time," said Rainbow Dash.
"Never," said Twilight. "Not without books."
"I'm willing to bet," said Rainbow, "before those guys leave, you'll want the Internet too. Just you wait and see."
The next day, the girls all met for a picnic lunch.
"I can't wait for you all to taste my new dessert!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed. "I found the recipe on the Internet." She opened her basket and pulled out a pan of some kind of brownies.
"That sure smells good, Pinkie," said Applejack. "What is it?"
"They're cookie filled brownie candy cookie bars," said Pinkie.
"Cookie filled...brownie candy...cookie bars?" they repeated slowly.
"The bottom layer is chocolate chip cookie," said Pinkie. "Then you add a cream filled chocolate sandwich cookie, pour the brownie batter over the top, and sprinkle it with chocolate candies."
"That's insane," said Rainbow Dash.
"I've always wanted to try something like this," said Pinkie, "but I couldn't get the cookie part right. But I Googled it last night, and TADA!"
"Hear that, Twilight?" said Rainbow Dash. "She Googled it."
"They do look amazing," said Twilight. "But that's one recipe. Pinkie usually makes her desserts out of the cookbooks I buy her. Books."
"And I like the books, but," Pinkie said, "there are just soooo many more delicious recipes on the Internet! I can't wait to eat them all!"
"I bet I can reproduce this dessert using information I find in baking books," said Twilight.
"And I bet I can reproduce this dessert using the Internet!" Rainbow Dash shot back.
"Okay, now this is getting ridiculous," said Rarity.
They ignored her. "You're on!" Twilight said. "Pinkie Pie did it in one day, right? So by this time tomorrow, we need to have made the same thing."
"Deal!" said Rainbow Dash.
They assembled the next day.
"Here they are," said Twilight. "Cookie filled...brownie candy...cookie bars..." she wheezed, then collapsed on the ground snoring.
"Sorry," Spike said. "She was up literally all night, pouring through books."
"Ha!" Rainbow Dash taunted. "I made my bars in under an hour! I win!"
"Wait," said Applejack. "The deal wasn't who made it the fastest. The deal was who could do it, and you both did."
"Not so fast," said Pinkie Pie. "There's no point to cookie filled brownie candy cookie bars if they don't taste good."
They considered. "She's right," said Applejack. "We ought to have a taste test. The pony who made the best dessert will be the winner."
Rainbow Dash nodded, and Spike consented on behalf of the sleeping Twilight Sparkle. Pinkie dug her hooves into both pans of dessert and scooped out large, crumbling pieces, then shoveled both in her mouth, one after another. The others waited in anticipation.
"Hmmm," Pinkie said.
"Yes?!" the others replied.
"The winner is...nobody," Pinkie declared.
"YEAH!" Rainbow exclaimed, then processed the verdict. "Wait, WHAT?! How can it be nobody?!"
"Neither one is scrumdiddlyumptious like the ones I made," said Pinkie, "and if they're not scrumdiddlyumptious, then I can't pick either one as the winner."
"So what Pinkie's saying is, sometimes you need to have a knack for something, and just reading about it isn't going to teach you that," said Applejack.
"At the very least, it probably takes more than one attempt," said Rarity.
"So it's a draw," said Spike. "Although Twilight is so exhausted, I can hardly say I'd prefer her way of doing things."
Twilight stirred. "Don't...need...Internet."
"I propose a second contest," said Rarity.
"A second contest? But Rarity, weren't you against this first one?" asked Fluttershy.
"True, but, you see, this contest was flawed. Twilight and Rainbow Dash both were trying to do something that they aren't very good at, so we couldn't get a good result. There should be a contest of pure knowledge," said Rarity.
"Well, yeah, but," said Applejack, "what kind of knowledge is there that Twilight doesn't already know everything about?"
"Twilight, Rainbow Dash," Rarity said, starting to strut around the picnic blanket, "I challenge the both of you to spend the next 24 hours learning all you can about...FASHION!" She flourished when she said the last word.
"Oh, I like it!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed. "I bet Twilight doesn't have a single book about fashion! This contest is going to be cake!" She took a piece of her cookie filled brownie candy cookie bar, chewed it, and spat it back out. "Oh, that is nasty."
"I...sure, I don't have any books on fashion in my collection, but that's why we have LIBRARIES!" Twilight perked up at that word. "Alright, Spike, to the library!" She galloped off.
"Where'd she get all that energy from?" Applejack asked.
"Nothing comes between that girl and a library," groaned Spike. "Alright, same time tomorrow?"
"Woohoo! Party every day!" Pinkie exclaimed. "The Internet really does bring everyone together!"
The next day, both Twilight and Rainbow were equally exhausted. Rarity sat on the picnic blanket with the stern look of a judge. "Alright," said Rarity. "You must answer a series of questions about fashion. Whoever gets the most correct wins."
"Agreed," Twilight and Rainbow said with a yawn.
"First question," said Rarity, "why were false eyelashes invented?"
Twilight raised her hoof. "Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!"
"Yes, Twilight?" asked Rarity.
"Producer D.W. Griffin wanted to enhance his actresses' eyes," said Twilight.
"Correct," said Rarity. "Where were neck ties invented?"
"Neck ties are from Crohaytia," said Rainbow Dash.
"What types of clothing are considered vintage?" asked Rarity.
"Anything from 1920-1960," said Rainbow Dash.
"Good!" exclaimed Rarity. "That's two for Rainbow!"
"These are too easy," said Rainbow Dash.
"Did you know the first one too, Rainbow?" asked Applejack.
"I, uhhh," said Rainbow.
"I read a book about how stage costumes influenced fashion," said Twilight.
"Let's keep going," said Rarity. "Why are there buttons on men's jacket sleeves?"
Twilight raised her hoof. "Emperor Neighpoleon decreed that buttons needed to be attached to jacket sleeves to prevent his soldiers from wiping their noses on them."
"You're kidding," said Rainbow.
"No, she's correct," said Rarity. "Next question. What is the name for a pony who collects neckties?"
"A grabatologist!" Rainbow exclaimed.
"Seriously?" Twilight asked.
"I read a fact page about neck ties," said Rainbow.
"When was the first fashion magazine published?" asked Rarity.
"1586," said Rainbow.
"Correct," said Rarity. "What is the origin of perfume?"
"In ancient times, female ponies melted scented grease in their manes," said Twilight.
"Correct," said Rarity. "When were sneakers invented?"
"1800," said Rainbow Dash.
"I read a book on shoes," said Twilight. "The name comes from the fact that they hardly make a sound when worn."
"Also correct," said Rarity.
"But that wasn't the question," said Rainbow.
"I knew that one too," said Twilight.
"You didn't answer first!" Rainbow shot back.
"Girls, girls, please," said Rarity. "Rainbow, you're ahead by one either way, so I'll award a point to Twilight too."
"That's not fair!" exclaimed Rainbow.
"Hold on," said Applejack. "I've noticed something. Rainbow is answering all the questions that are trivia facts, but Twilight seems to know more of the reasons behind the facts. I reckon Twilight could give us a whole detailed history of shoes."
"Well, uhhh," said Twilight.
"Why don't you ask Rainbow some questions about shoes?" asked Applejack.
"That's not fair!" Rainbow said again. "I didn't just study shoes. I needed to be prepared for all kinds of questions, so I skimmed around."
"And in skimming around, I reckon you missed the big picture points," said Applejack.
"And yet," said Twilight. "I can't remember half of the dates, and I didn't even read a thing about neckties. I didn't have time."
"So it would appear that both of you learned different types of things on the same topic," said Applejack. "Maybe the Internet is good for learning those quick facts, but if you want to know something in-depth, you need to turn to a book."
"That sounds fair," said Rarity.
"But I still won," said Rainbow. "The Internet still won."
Rarity rolled her eyes. "Sure, Rainbow Dash. The Internet won. Now let's eat."
"I MADE SUPER DE DUPER FUDGEY NUTTY CARAMEL COOKIE DOUGH BROWNIE BATTER TRUFFLE CAKE!" Pinkie shouted.
Everyone crowded around Pinkie's basket in anticipation of the new creation, and conversation turned to other topics, but Twilight was unusually quiet. She watched as her friends, with their new hoofheld devices called smartphones, were able to conjure up information at a whim. It was like carrying a whole library with you at all times. It was like...magic.
******************ONE WEEK LATER*********************
"Hey, has anyone seen Twilight?" Applejack asked at their next picnic.
"I haven't seen her since our last picnic," said Rarity. "Have you, Rainbow Dash?"
"No," said Rainbow Dash. "Pinkie, you invited her, right?"
"Yeah," said Pinkie, "but Spike answered the door. He said Twilight was busy." She gasped. "DO YOU THINK SOMETHING HAPPENED TO HER?!"
"Spike would tell us if something bad had happened," said Fluttershy.
And as if on cue, Spike came through the bushes to meet them. "Fluttershy! Pinkie! Rainbow Dash! Applejack! Rarity!"
"Spike? What is it, darling?" asked Rarity.
"It's Twilight. I can't get her to leave the house," said Spike.
"Why?" asked Rainbow Dash.
"Well, remember your bet last week?" Spike asked.
"The one where I proved the Internet was better than the library? Heck yes," said Rainbow.
"Well, she got the Internet. She got the Internet, and now she won't stop reading," said Spike.
"Reading? Reading what?" Fluttershy asked.
"The Internet," Spike said gravely. "She won't stop reading...the Internet."
"But...new information gets added all the time," Applejack said.
"I know," said Spike. "And you know how passionate Twilight is about information."
"Oh no," said Applejack. "This is bad. How are we going to get her to stop?"
"I'm on it," said Rainbow Dash. "Follow me."
They went to Twilight's tree house. It was mostly dark inside, except for the glowing box Twilight was sitting in front of, shaking.
Pinkie entered first. "Twilight! I brought some more super de duper fudgey nutty caramel cookie dough brownie batter truffle cake!"
"Uh-huh," said Twilight, pressing a key with her hoof. Her bloodshot eyes didn't leave the screen. She put out a hoof, and Pinkie gave her a slice of cake. She devoured it, her eyes still on the screen.
Spike turned on the lights and pointed to the router box. Rainbow Dash unplugged the router. The gang all gathered around Twilight in anticipation. She pressed another key, and the screen went blank. She pressed the key again, and seeing nothing was happening, got more frustrated, hitting the key repeatedly. Finally, Rainbow grabbed the monitor off the table and sat in its place.
Twilight was in a daze. "Wha," she said, processing. "What is everyone here for?"
"Twilight, we need to talk," said Rainbow Dash.
"Spike reached out to us because he's concerned for you, darling. And I can see why! Have you even slept since installing that thing?" Rarity asked.
"Well of course I've slept," said Twilight. "The body automatically begins to sleep when you go so long without it."
"So to clarify," said Applejack, "you've been sitting in front of that dang screen all day and all night."
"Well, of course I have! There's so much to learn!" Twilight exclaimed.
"You can't read the Internet, dummy!" Applejack exclaimed. "New information is being added every day!"
"That's why I can't leave," Twilight said with a twitch. "I can't miss anything. I need to know. I need to know everything."
Rainbow Dash slapped her. "Knock it off, Twilight! Get yourself together, or I'm taking the box."
"The box...you mean," Twilight gasped. "THE MAGICAL WI-FI BOX?!" She sprang to the router and wrapped herself around it. "NEVER! YOU'LL NEVER TAKE THE PRECIOUS!"
"HOOF IT OVER!" Rainbow shouted, trying to pry it out of Twilight's grip. Twilight hissed.
"Oh, honey," said Rarity. "This is not a good look on you, not at all, my dear. Twilight..."
"Don't take the precious," Twilight muttered, leering at Rarity.
"Twilight," said Rarity soothingly, "we love that you're passionate about learning new things, but we miss you, darling. If you're always in here reading, then when are we ever going to spend time with you?"
"What happened to friendship?" Fluttershy asked. "I don't think this Internet thing is magic at all. It's done nothing but tear us apart."
And Twilight softened. "Tear us apart...but..."
"Hoof over the box, Twilight," Rainbow said.
Twilight complied. "Wow, I'm so sorry," said Twilight. "How long have I been here again?"
"A week, dear. It's been a week," said Rarity.
"I haven't seen any of you in a week?" Twilight asked. She stared at the router with a dumbstruck expression. "That little thing...it was like having an infinite library...but it made me turn into..."
"A dummy?" Applejack offered.
"A hermit?" Rainbow said.
"A monster?" said Fluttershy.
"A crazypants?" said Pinkie.
"A geek?" said Rarity.
"A bad friend," said Twilight. "The way I was before I met all of you. And I vowed I would never become that again. I'm so sorry. Take the router. Take the computer. I don't want it anymore."
Spike coughed up a scroll. The girls forgot what they were doing, for Spike rarely coughed up scrolls from Celestia anymore. He handed it to Twilight.
Dear Princess Twilight Sparkle,
I hear that the Internet craze has hit Ponyville! I hope that you are enjoying the new technology. However, I've heard that for all the popularity the Internet has, there are many who believe we would have been better off without it. I know that the Internet offers many new opportunities for Equestria, but I'm curious about some of these downsides. So, I am giving you a new assignment. I want you and your friends to explore all the corners of the Internet and report back to me on the good, the bad, and the ugly. I will use this information to determine whether or not I'll allow the Internet to stay.
Love,
Princess Celestia
"A new assignment from Princess Celestia!" Twilight gasped. "But look what just happened to me! How can I be expected to explore all the corners of the Internet without turning into a dummy-hermit-monster-crazypants-geek again?"
"I don't think she expects you to read everything on the Internet," said Applejack. "Just like when you got your first assignment, you didn't have to make friends with everypony."
"It seems to me like we've already learned something about the Internet," said Fluttershy. "Shall we help you write the first report?"
Twilight smiled. "I'd like that," said Twilight. Spike took a roll of parchment out of the shelves. "What are you doing?" she asked.
"Aren't we sending a letter to Celestia?" Spike asked.
"Well, yeah, but," Twilight said, "she left an email address. Rainbow, plug her in again. AND DON'T LET ME CLICK ANY MORE LINKS."
Dear Princess Celestia,
The Internet. Where do I begin? When it first arrived, I wanted nothing to do with it. I was afraid of what would happen if it replaced books. Then, I saw how much information you could get in such a small amount of time, and I became consumed by it. I neglected my friendships in favor of trying to read anything and everything online, which is of course impossible.
We have learned so far that the Internet is a double-edged sword. It is useful for many things, but it's easy to become addicted. It's more important than ever now for ponies to get out and spend time with their friends. Because wi-fi may be magic, but nothing is more magical than friendship.
Love,
Princess Twilight Sparkle