January 18, 2011. Everything changed, it was like a normal day Andrea got up, got dressed, got ready for school she put on her thin tanish hoodie and lit up a cigrrete she logged on to her computer and went to her facebook typed in her screen name and her password flipping though a few things she saw a message from one of her bestfriends Zach, she clicked on it and started to read.
Andrea... I don't wanna tell you this but I think you should be the first to know... I don't understand it myself, well I know but it hurts to much to think about or even say but something happened last night. Jarred's no longer with us, he was found hanging in his room by Layla... But, I don't think he did it no one does. But I love you and if you need me i'm here I'll try to help as much as I can and if theres any new info I'll keep you updated. Were not going to tell anyone until later today. Bye, hun be safe. I love you,.
The moment her world came crashing down, the mintue she read that as soon as she started reading she didn't want to stop she readed again, and again she thought it was a dream and everything would be okay when she woke up that Jarred would be online joking with her about her believing in unicorns, something anything. She looked at the time it was seven she had to go now, she didn't want to move the threat of tears falling, she couldn't breath, she stood up and grabbed Sam and put him in her mom's room as she ran outside, as her skin hit the cold she wished she put on her other jacket, she just wanted to wake up from this horrible dream. She turned on her MP3 player, she couldn't think she contuined to walk to the end of the road to wait for her bus, she had to be dreaming right? She had to.. She felt movement behind her to her regret another kid who road the bus was waiting as well, it wasn't a dream and she had to go on all day pretending that nothing was wrong, but everything was wrong.
Once she got to school she tired to put on a happy face, it wouldn't be unsual if she wasn't talking, nor smiling she was an outsider to the world. Yeah she had friends or some-what friends she never knew but she did know she did have two real friends; one thats known her since like forever and the other one since seventh grade. The day was slow, she was finally in third peroid counting the hours untill she could go home and let all these emotions out. She took out a piece of paper and wrote down that Jarred had passed away, and gave it to Santana, once she read it she of course cried though she only talked to him a few times she could tell he was an amazing guy. During the day a few tires had manged to escape, but she tired to keep them inside. She could hear his voice, relive his memories she just couldn't believe he was really gone.
She couldn't wait to finally get out of school, the bus ride was more horrible than she thought it would be she started crying hiding it to the side she didn't want any of them to know, of course their own coversations probably drained out her muffled crying. Once she got home she put her hood over her eyes and tried to walk to her room but her sister could sense something was wrong. Of course she didn't want to tell anyone she didn't want to know herself, she said nothing, but her sister knew better she followed Andrea into her room and she told her sister what had happend. Thinking her resposne would be "You didn't know him" it was however she didn't know what to say. She did know them, she meet him, hugged him, talked to him, she knew his voice like the back of her hand, they shared everything together serects, stories memories. They joked and made fun of each other.
The simplest things made her cry, he was the one who would make her feel better, tell her he loved her, called her beautiful, said she was unique... She loved him so much and a piece of her heart had died with him.
The next few days were rough, the memories flew to the surface, the tears came down her cheeks, every song just reminded her of him, 3OH!3 and Dead Celeberity Status made her emotion instead of laughing her remembering him randomly quoting them. Even being online wasn't the usual pain saviour, she couldn't stop looking at his pictures. And on roleplay, it was much worse because she would look at his profile and re-read what he had said about her, he loved her so much, she loved him so much. The feeling of loosing someone leaves that empty space. She couldn't stop thinking about him, he was so unique in his own way, how he was
raised, how he loved someone so strongly, how he was an amazing father, a brother, a friend. He was likeable by everyone, smart, funny, sweet. Sometimes he could be a bit bipolar, an asshole to some but he was always doing it to protect the ones he loved or himself.
How could someone you loved hurt themselfs like that knowning what it would do to you in the long run? Was it sad enough she thought she was the walking kiss of death seeing how everyone she loved died before her yeah she knew people always left and everyone dies in the end but he seemed so loving and caring in life, He wouldn't leave his daughters alone in this world, he would not leave them fatherless. He would not hurt the people he loved this way. The feeling crepted in her mind as soon as she had read it but the more and more she thought about the more she didn't believe he did it himself, someone had to do it. He wasn't depressed,
he loved his life, his job, his family, his friends. Everyone had issues, but he dealt with them, talked about them. The one person I blamed was the last person who saw him alive, she had to do something she was a drug addict, a prosuitate. But Jarred believed everyone desreved a friend, deserved a chance no matter how messed up their life was it was just the good in him, did that good kill him?, So much had happend someone had to hurt him, though he was strong he would never fight a woman, but she could have drugged him made him weaker, then hurt him and make it look like he had done it himself, but the people who knew him knew different.
Hopefully, She gets what she deserves she took away a father of a five year old and two month year old, a brother, a son, a newphew, a cousin, a uncle. He had so much coming in his life he would finally meet his 2 month
daughter, he was planning on getting her mother move up there so he could see her everyday, spend time with her, take care of her. He was going to go to college, get a degree make a better living for him and his children,
he was going to be a uncle for the first time in his life. Why would he risk that?, Cause someone took him from all of they people he loved, ruined his dreams. But she could never take away how much he meant to me or anyone who loved him. No one could take that away, no one can take away the memories, and no one can take away how I miss his voice, his smell, his touch, his laugh, his jokes, his sayings, him singing, his talk,
his walk, his everything. No one could replace him, no one could even come close..
September 8, 1990-January 18, 2011. - Jarred Carlos Smith,
I'll miss you, I'll miss your jokes the most. I'll miss your voice, your laugh, your hugs, your pep talks. You have made me so much stronger with just knowning you, raising my confidence, believing me to follow my dreams,
Always being my number one supporter, always being there when I need you, Giving me the strength I needed that you had given me, helping me cure my depression telling me everything has an upside to the downside.
That what went around came around, Making me feel good about myself, Giving me the hope of someone like you fell in love with me - Though sometimes I couldn't stand you, Sometimes you scared me. But I never stopped loving you, never stopped caring about you. I wish, I could go back and never left you. But you always said whatever happened was meant to happen, though you made me stand on my own two feet and gave me a new outlook on life. I can't stop bringing all the memories to surface the good, the bad and the ugly. But like you always said, you would always love me and be there for me. I'll always do the same for you even if your not
here anymore, you gave me everything I've ever wanted. Everytime I turn Little Bear on and look at Owl, I'll smile cause your personity comes through, everytime I'll see the Red Ranger i'll smile cause its your favorite color and you would always be my leader, When I see skittles I'll laugh cause I never understood your obession with them, when I hear your favorite songs I'll remember the lyrics because you sung them. Whenever I'll watch wrestling i'll remember your rants and what should happen, whenever I see Ted DiBiase Jr. I'll smile cause he was your favorite when I see Maryse, I'll remember how you use to have a huge obession with her and when I see Melina, i'll laugh cause I made you love her... To me you are the greatest guy ever and I'll always love you and miss you. I'm so glad I had my chance to be your girlfriend, Your bestfriend. I still laugh at the first time we meet and how we thought we were related untill it was proven wrong, I'll smile when I think of a memory, and when I dream I hope you visit me in my sleep. You were the greatest guy I've ever meet and no matter what I'll be thinking of you. You are my savior and my hero, thank you for all that you've done for me. You were/are the best thing about me. 3 xoxox
"'You'll get over it...' It's the clichés that cause the trouble. To lose someone you love is to alter your life for ever. You don't get over it because 'it' is the person you loved. The pain stops, there are new people, but the gap never closes. How could it? The particularness of someone who mattered enough to grieve over is not erased by anyone but death. This hole in my heart is in the shape of you and no one else can fit. Why would I want them to?"
-Andrea(BABY A)