Chapter One: A Call From The Chum Bucket

Cyndi: Just working on my humor.

Sasori: Will I be in it?

Cyndi: Definitely. Plus, all the Akatsuki will be.

Sasori: Smashing, now let's go. Disclaimer: Cyndi does not own Naruto.

Cyndi: You got it Blossom.

Sasori: What? The PowerPuff Girls?

Cyndi: Yes. You're Blossom, Deidara is Bubbles, and Itachi is Buttercup.

Pein was having one of his usual days. All of the Akatsuki were done with their missions, and they were all either watching T.V. or playing pervert-based video games. Pein sighed as he saw Deidara blow up one of Zetsu's plants. Seconds later, Zetsu was chasing Deidara holding a knife and a fork.

"Why can't we just do something normal?" thought the stressed Akatsuki leader. His thoughts were interrupted by a loud knock on the door.

"Who the hell is it this time?" asked Pein, folding his arms. Deidara came in crying, holding strands of his hair.

"Zetsu ate my hair, un..." sobbed the blonde, pointing at a pitiful stub of hair that replaced the handsome ponytail.

"So what? You looked like a girl anyways. Hey, look on the bright side, now people won't mistake you for a girl." stated the Akatsuki leader. "Plus, you're hair grows back really fast, so just go away."

Another knock came from the door. Sasori came in, looking really frustrated. Deidara smiled.

"Sasori no Danna, did you find my hair?" asked Deidara.

"What is it Sasori?" asked Pein, becoming enraged. "What happened?"

"Look what I found in Hiruko." stated Sasori, dumping out strands of blonde hair. "Is it hay or something?"

"My hair, un!" screamed Deidara as he picked it up. "I'm going to go find some super glue, un." He ran out the door, and ran into Tobi.

"What gives, un?" yelled Deidara. "Where's the super glue?"

"I used all of it. Tobi's a good boy, he made a get well card." stated Tobi. "Tobi made sure it sticks extra tight, so he used up all the super glue!" He held up the gooey mess and showed it to Deidara.

"Tobi you baka!" yelled Deidara as he tried to suffocate Tobi again. He stopped and smirked at Tobi attempting to remove the card from his hand in vain.

Another knock on the door. This time it was Hidan. In the process of knocking the door, he also sacrificed it to Jashin. The door was no more.

"How can I do my fucking rituals if you people keep talking shit?! Deidara, nobody cares about your transvestite-related problems!" yelled Hidan. Pein was getting angrier by the minute, but he had to prove that he could get everything under control.

"Now, I'm sure we'll get enough money to buy you a sound-proof room." sigh Pein, checking his back account. "Just go away..."

Too bad. Itachi and Kisame stormed into the room.

"Where's the door?" asked Kisame.

Pein was about to answer, when-

Konan came in, dragging Kakuzu in the process. Kakuzu was covered in paper cuts. Everyone stared at the scene.

"This perverted freak wanted to sell my under garments!" she screeched, blushing furiously. She threw

Pein rubbed his forehead, struggling to restrain himself from killing Kakuzu. "What is the meaning of this?" he asked through gritted teeth.

"Well, I got a phone call from a 'Sir Patrick' that wanted to purchase...you know, fine undergarments?" answered Kakuzu, unabashed.

"WHAT?! Are you telling me someone knows our phone number?" inquired the Leader. He paced back and forth, trying to figure out who had been drunk enough to give away their phone number. Pein stressed the fact that they were only supposed to use the phone to prank call Itachi's little brother.

Everyone listened closely as the phone began to ring again. Tobi couldn't help but saying, "Tobi's a good boy, he'll answer the phone!" At that moment, everyone shouted out different responses. (A/N You'll have to guess it..)

"No, I'm the leader, and I get to answer it!"

"No, I really want to answer it. It might be Chiyo baa-sama."

"Sasori, it's not your worthless grandma, it's my insurance company!! My money company!"

"No, un! It might be my art manager,un!"

"I get to answer it! Sheesh, is that how you anti-social guys treat a woman?"

"Fucking morons! I'm answering the fucking phone! So you can just shove the phone up your ass and eat it! And it might be that guy who wanted me for a shampoo commercial..."

Zetsu sighed and picked up the phone as everyone wrestled each other. "Hello?" He put it on speaker so everyone could hear.

"Salutations, my fellow villains!" answered the mysterious voice from the other line. Everyone became silent and listened to the anonymous voice. "I am seeking to join your evil organization in hopes of attaining power..." Everyone looked at Itachi, because it sure did sound like Sasuke."They call me Sheldon..."

Before the voice could finish, everyone was cracking up with laughter. Even the usually stern Pein had to cover his mouth in a sad attempt to stop laughing.

Deidara laughed. "Sheldon? Where's your mommy?" Everyone was laughing uncontrollably.

Konan added to the joke, "Does she know your not doing your math homework?"

Hidan smirked. "What a fucking idiot. Does your mother give your sisters and brothers names of fucking cows?"

"Ok," said Pein as he regained control, "What do you want?"

"Why," said the voice, "I want to join your A-kat-so-o-oki. My home isn't far from here, if you want try outs. My name is, as I was saying, Sheldon-" Everyone burst into a fit of laughter. Pein interrupted, "What is it?"

"Sheldon P. Plankton!" responded the voice. "I'll see you at the Chum Bucket, located in Bikini Bottom, ok?"

"Bikini Bottom?" shouted Pein. "This is no joke, right? Where is it located?"

"No joke, sir." answered Plankton. "Go to the bottom of the ocean, and once you see a pineapple, take a left on the next red light. Ta Ta!" Plankton hung up.

Pein looked back at his fellow members. "Well, what do you think? And how are we going to get there?"

"I think," said Hidan, "That Bikini Bottom is a great place to spread my religion to the fucking heathens."

"I," said Kisame as he brandished his sword, "Know how to get there. I used to lived next to a pineapple under the sea when I was little. I'll take you there, and it'll be nice to see some of my old relatives again. How surprised will they be to see how much I've grown?"

"I don't care," began Deidara, "As long as I get to blow stuff up!"

"If we go there," said Zetsu, "I won't have to worry about forgetting to water myself!"

"I can't go." said Konan sadly, "I might dissolve in water."

"I don't want to go." said Sasori. "It's boring.." Deidara was stunned, "Why danna?"

"Tobi hopes Sheldon is a good boy!" interrupted Tobi.

"SHUT UP TOBI!!" said everyone at once.

"Then it's decided." said Pein. "Everyone but Konan will go. Konan, please look after the hideout while we're gone, if you may. You," he turned to Hidan, "It's up to you to persuade Sasori to come. I'm going to pack up my suitcase." He left, followed by the rest of the members.

"I'm not going!" yelled Sasori.

"I fucking will, dammit!" answered Hidan. "Now, go pack up maggots!" He held his scythe close to him, creating a fresh cut of blood on his chest. "That feels good.. Well Sasori, how can I change your mind?"

"You can't. I'm not going."

The phone rang again. This time, Sasori was the first to pick it up. "Hello?" He too, put it on speaker.

"Hello?" answered a goofy voice. "Is this Mario's pizza place?"

"Umm..." answered Sasori. "No. This is Sasori Akasuna, your danna, fool."

"Oh," replied the voice. "Can I get a large pepperoni with extra cheese?"

"Dammit," answered Sasori. "I'm not selling pizza!"

Meanwhile In Bikini Bottom

The voice talked to someone in the background. "Sorry Patrick, they're out of the large size."

"Then let me talk to him!" responded Patrick, stealing the phone from Spongebob.

He yelled into the phone, saying, "Fine you Sasori danna donut guy, at least give me a chocolate donut! I mean, how can you run out of those?"

Back to the Hideout

"Where do you live?" asked Sasori, "I want to kill you!"

"Oh? Come and take me on, tough guy." answered Patrick. "I live under a rock in Bikini Bottom!"

"You talk tough for a guy that lives under a rock!" yelled Sasori. "And I'll be in Bikini Bottom before you know it!" With those words, he slammed the phone back on the receiver.

"I thought you weren't going?" asked Hidan.

"O I'm going..." replied Sasori. "I'm going to beat the crap out of Mario's pizza place!"

Cyndi: First chapter before Ash Wednesday. Hope you liked it.