by Ola
~*~*~
A/N: sorry about not posting anything for a while J it's summer vacations, and I'm lazy. Not
that I didn't have time, but it was easier to read other people's stories that
type my own.
All right, this is a story about Lily. Yes, James
and the others are in it too, but it has nothing to do with "a visit to
Hogwarts".
I have 3 other story ideas in my mind, and two of
those, I began writing, but it will take a while for me to type them. Again,
sorry, but typing is not my thing. This story, I already finished before school
ended (I told you I didn't like typing!), but if you have any new idea, they
are welcomed for the next story about Lil and James (didn't you already guess
that I love thoseJ?)
Anyway, enjoy, and tell me what you think. And now,
here goes the story:
~*~*~
Chapter 1-
Lily
sat on the bank of a silver lake, the waters shimmering under the bright
evening sun, and as smooth as oil. This was the spring of her 5th
year, and she was thinking about how much her life had changed since she had
set foot at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. At eleven, she had
learned that she was a witch, had left her friends, and taken the Hogwarts
Express. Her first two years had been absolutely wonderful. As a Griffindor,
she had made great friends, both guys and girls, as much in her own house as in
Ravenclaw and Hufflepuf. And with that, she had of course made her share of
enemies. Then, one morning, she had received a letter by owl post, a letter that
she still remembered word for word, and whished it had never arrived. Her
parents had died. It had not said how, or why, just that it had happened and
that now, she was an orphan, living with her grandmother. Since that time, she
had changed a lot herself. She wasn't exactly withdrawn, but she feared that if
she came to love another person like she had her parents, something bad would
happen, and that person too would leave her, alone, scared… It was too painful
to remember exactly how she had felt at that time, but she knew that it hurt.
It hurt very much, and she didn't want to have to go through something like
that again. So she had raised an emotional barrier between herself and the
world. If she didn't love anyone, no one would hurt her. Her heart was encased
in a solid block of ice, numb to the outside world. That was the best
compromise she could do with herself, even though it was hardly a good one. Her
friends were still friendly to her, but it wasn't the same as it once had been.
She smiled and talked to them, but all that was just a mask. A mask that hid
the broken heart of a sixteen years old girl.
A soft breeze ruffled her red hair, bringing her the
sweet smell of roses and lilies. She sighed. At least, the world still has
flowers, blue skies, and beautiful sunsets, she thought, as she changed the
position of her legs to let back some circulation back into her feet. Over the
tall trees of the Forbidden Forest, she could see small white and pink tinted
clouds, lazily moving across the slowly darkening sky. And a few minutes later,
the sun turned into a glowing orange ball, bathing everything it touched with a
fiery light. Lily sighed again. This is wonderful…the only beautiful thing
that is left for me, she thought with melancholy, thinking of the other
sunsets she had seen with her parents. Those too had been wonderful, and even
more so because of the presence of her parents. She clutched the pendent
swinging down from her neck, taking strength from its memories. A tear silently
trickled down her cheek, blurring her vision, but she didn't raise her hand to
wipe it away. Finally, the sun sank behind the horizon, coloring the far away
clouds with pinkish orange colors, and Lily left to go back to the castle,
wiping her tears away and making herself presentable to avoid unwanted
questions from her friends.
~*~*~
She made it back to the Common Room unseen. Everyone was probably studying. Yea,
right, she thought sarcastically, a small smile creeping up her face. The
Griffindor Common Room was a circular room mostly decorated in deep red and
gold. On the opposite side of the hole that served as a door was a huge
fireplace, two griffins carved out of white marble standing guard on each side.
The fire gave off a soft warmness that penetrated right to the bone, but was
relaxing instead of being too hot and oppressive. Right in front of it were
cozy armchairs of different sizes and a large sofa, arranged in a circle,
facing the flames, whose bright flickering light made dancing shadows on the
warm, bare stonewalls. As lily's feet touched the plush carpet, she heard some
"hi's" from friends curled in those armchairs, which she answered half
heatedly. But as she began going up the stairs to her dorm, lea caught her arm
and went up with her, not saying a word, but Lily knew what was coming. Lea
knew about Lily's parents, but what's more, she also knew about her feelings
and "compromises" with herself. How she knew was of no importance. What
mattered was that she had stayed Lily's friend, even though the first year
after her parents' death would have discouraged anyone from doing so.
Physically, Lea was very different from Lily. She had medium length,
sun-bleached, straight, blond hair, brown eyes, was short and very tanned,
while Lily had long, wavy, red hair, large green eyes, was rather tall, and had
a pale complexion, sprinkled with freckles.
"All right, hon, tell me what happened," said Lea as
she sat on her bed, gently pushing Lily on hers own, right next to hers.
"Nothi…" she began, as Lea cut her off.
"And don't tell me 'nothing'. Your eyes are red,
you've been crying…again. So come on, tell me what's wrong Lil."
Lily just sat there, looking at the floor, her hand
coming up to close around her pendant. I will not break down here and cry, I
won't mom, she thought, as if she could talk to her mom through the contact
of the pendant. She didn't want to talk right now, and she didn't want pity.
Lea sighed and sat down next to Lily, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, as
Lily's head dropped on Lea's shoulder.
"Oh, Lily, what am I going to do with you? You can't
live like this. I know it hurts, and I also know that I can't even really know how
much, but you have to trust me on that Lil. You can't go on like this, you
don't cry, you don't talk about it,…you just keep it inside yourself, and it is
slowly strangling the light that lives inside you. All right, I'm finished with
my little speech here, and I won't bother you again. But please, Lil, promise
me you will try to change," said Lea, her voice pleading as she tried to help
her best friend. But as she looked again Lily again, she didn't know quite what
to make of the tears rolling down her cheeks, so she just held her friend as
she was raked by sobs, wondering whether she was finally accepting her paren't
death or was crying for another reason.
"Thank you Lea," whispered Lily, drying her eyes
with shaky fingertips. "I'm sorry for acting that way, it's just that it.." she
sighed, "it hurts to think about it."
"Yes it does, but that's what friends are for, Lil,"
said Lea softly, as Lily made an attempt at a smile.
~*~*~
The next morning, Lily acted as if nothing had
happened the evening before, which means that she was being shy, a cold bitch,
a peacock, or an indifferent student, depending of whose opinion you wanted.
Lily knew about it, and although that too hurt, it brought a small smile to her
lips. Wasn't it what she wanted? To be left alone? So if she was antipatic, no
one would like her, and she wouldn't have to like that person in return. And if
she didn't, that person wouldn't be able to hurt her heart. "if you don't feel,
you don't hurt," said a little voice in her head, as she made her way down a
large stone staircase into the empty Great Hall for her breakfast. She sat at
the edge of the long Griffindor bench, quickly ate scrambled eggs and a toast
with raspberry jam, and washed it down with a glass of cool orange juice, then
she left, making a detour by her dorm room to wash her teeth and put on a green
sweater. As she pushed open the huge castle door, made of old, rough wood, a
gust of chilly wind caressed her face. She couldn't see anyone outside, and
that was for the best. She preferred to run alone, when no one was watching.
She walked to the edge of the Forbidden Forest; the dewy grass left droplets of
water on her sneakers, and the musty, earthy smell of the forest drifted to her
nostrils. And just as she came up to a large, leafy oak tree, the sun rose from
behind Hogwarts castle, illuminating this new day with its brilliant light.
Lily smiled, awed by this simple and ephemeral miracle of nature. Although as
beautiful, sunsets made her melancholic, being a symbol for happy endings,
while sunrises gave her new energy to go through another day. And while she enjoyed
the short sunburst and its warm rays on her face, she stretched her legs and
arms, and started running. One of the things she liked about this school was
the expense of grounds on which she could run; around the lake, along the
Forbidden Forest's edge, short distances into the forest…the combinations were
numerous. As her legs moved under her and her arms pumped at her sides, she
forgot her worries, concentrating on her footfalls, making as little noise as
possible. Her long red hair streamed out behind her and her cheeks were colored
by the exercise. Her long tanned legs easily loped over the ground, as it
fairly from underneath her. As her body occupied itself with running, her mind
wandered off somewhere by itself, only reminding of itself by the strong
beating of its heart and the softer bumping of a pendant under her sweater
against her chest. Finally, as the sun fully came out from behind the castle,
she stopped, heaving, and again began stretching to help her muscles relax,
then slowly walked back to the castle to take a shower and begin the day's
classes.
As she came up to the huge stone stairs of the
castle's main entrance, she schooled her expression into a semblance of
calmness and detachment. She didn't much like it, and her heart rebelled, but
her mind knew better. It was a survival skill.
~*~*~
