So far away and Unattainable
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters or the show.
Reviews: yes
Rating: M
Femslash…if u don't like then don't read….
Ashley's POV:
I just moved from big town Los Angela's to a small town in Ohio. The difference is insane. I went from a school with 2000 kids to a school of only 700. It's weird to move to a new school for your senior year not to mention that its basically social suicide. Imagine one day your mom telling you that she can't deal with you in the house anymore because she is embarrassed of you. So she did the only thing she knew how to do. Get rid of me. She put me on the earliest flight out of LA and it ended up being in this small crappy town of Ohio. I never really thought that she would actually send me away, but I guess I was very wrong. Sometimes I wish that she would just accept me as I am. I can't be who she wants me to be. The only thing mom thinks about is that this is just a stupid little phase and eventually I will come around, but that just not how it works and I'm not going to live a lie to make my mother happy. This is who I am and if she doesn't like it, then I guess I am better off without her. There is nothing I wouldn't do to make her appreciate me for who I am. So since my mom is a narrow minded woman she shipped me off to a place where I don't know anyone and forced me to live on my own. Even though its not like she was ever around when I lived in California, but I guess it was just the feeling that I had someone else.
Thankfully my father sent me money so that I'm not living in some shithole. He bought me a nice house in the suburbs and said that he would pay all of my bills. My dad's rich you see. He is a famous rock star. He would come and live with me and take care of me but he is too busy. I don't really expect much from him though, but still the money is good. I start my new school on Monday and I still don't know anyone in this town, so I don't really know how the first day of school is going to turn out. Well at least maybe I'll meet someone new and special who I could finally be myself with…Nah, who am I kidding I guess I will just be alone. But hey you can't stop a girl from dreaming I guess.
I awoke the next morning around 10 and decided to go down to the local café for a cup of coffee and a muffin. I quickly jumped into the shower threw some clothes on and jumped in my 2008 black Ford Mustang. Once I pulled I pulled into the parking lot something caught my eye. A beautiful blonde had just walked out of the café. She seemed innocent, like nothing bad had ever happened to her. When she got out of the cafe and sat of the bench that was just outside of the doors. I got out of my car and her eyes caught mine. I felt that I should look away my mind was yelling at me saying look away you idiot she caught you starring at her and she is probably thinking that you're a creep. My mind was screaming to look away and I tried with all my power, but I could look away from her eye. It was like I was locked in a trance that was pulling me in. The weird part was that I was trying to fight it. After what seemed like hours I decided I would smile. Not a big smile though just enough to show that I had noticed her. She quickly looked away and covered her face with her blonde hair. She seemed embarrassed or something, I couldn't quite understand her emotion. Just as I was getting out of the car to go and talk to her some guy, who no doubt in my mind was a jock ran out and greeted her. She gave him a cute innocent smile, then got up and put her arms around him and around kissed him softly. He took her by the hand a led her to his car. They got into his car and she had just shut her door as I walked by on my way into the cafe. Our eye met once again and I decided I didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable to I decided I would just simply walk by and pretend not to notice her. This time though when our eyes met she smiled at me sweetly. It wasn't the same smile that she had just given to her only I can assume was her boyfriend. It seemed something more, but then again it was probably just my imagination making something out of nothing. I looked down at the ground and sighed, then walked into the café. I sat at the café for a while drinking my coffee and trying to stop thinking about the beautiful blonde. I mean, I barley even saw her and I didn't even talk to her. I just couldn't understand what was happening to me. Why couldn't I get her out of my head?
When I had finally finished my coffee I set off back home to go online. After about an hour of surfing the web I began to get tired so I went up to my room to take a nap. As I was getting undressed I noticed the blonde that I have seen earlier in the window of the house beside mine. I tried to look away and not stare but this seemed to be impossible. I finally got to have a good look at her and I was taking it all in. She gave of such a radiant glow that it almost killed me to look at her. After a couple minutes she was out of sight. I sighed wishing she had only lingered for an extra second. I shook my head realizing that I was approaching stalker. I just couldn't understand what was happening to me. I had never felt this way before, let alone for someone I had never even spoke to. I decided I better brush my teeth before I take my nap. Nothing is worse than old coffee breath. I walked down the empty hallway wondering how my life had come to this. How can someone know so little about someone, but feel so much. Is this normal or just one in a million? There is very little that I fell I can change at this point. My mind seems to be racing faster and faster with every moment overflowing with emotions that I can't seems to understand. I've never felt this way before and just seems so improbable that this fantasy will ever become my true reality. I mean she is doesn't seem to be the type to even hang out with people like me, let alone have something more. I wondered about this as I brushed my teeth staring at myself in the mirror. Then I walked back into my room to take my nap. It was only 12:00 but for some reason I felt so tired.
With that I decided that I might as well forget about her because there was no use thinking about her anymore so I jumped into bed, put my Ipod on shuffle and fell asleep. Within moments I was off to a soundless sleep to dream of anything I wished. My mind began to twist as I fell into a deeper sleep where I was no longer in control of what my brain is thinking. I dreamed of the first thing that came to mind. HER.
The kisses intensified as I slowly slid my hands up her shirt, tracing circles on her skin as she continued to pull her clothes away from her body, finally removing it and flinging it to the floor before kissing me again. She moved down and began to kiss my neck, then moving her lips down further as she continued along my collarbone, her hands working their way under my tank top, finally pulling it off my body and tossing it in the same general direction that her shirt had gone before continuing further down, her tongue darting against the beginning curve of my breasts, slipping under the material every once and a while.
"Oh God," I breathed, digging my nails into her back as I felt her tongue darting against my skin.
She smiled at these actions, reaching up and unclasping my bra, slipping it off of my body and smiling at the sight below her.
"You are so beautiful," She breathed sincerely. As she began leaving a trail of kisses down the curve of my right breast, then slowly dragging her tongue over my nipple, smiling when it became hard under her touch. She slowly kissed the area, taking the tiny nub in her teeth and tugging gently, moaning when my hips thrust up into hers. She gave my other breast the same treatment before continuing further down, leaving hot, open-mouthed kisses on my stomach, licking the skin around my navel slowly before moving back up and kissing my lips passionately, her hips grinding against mine. She slipped my panties off, moving back up and kissing my lips softly before moving back down, leaving a trail of feather light kisses on the way. She dragged her finger up my slit, careful not to let it dart in between my folds, smiling at the moans of ecstasy that were eliciting from me. Just as she was about to go in she looked up at me to see my face one more time before giving me what I wanted most in the world at that moment. Just as her fingers slid into my slit everything started to become very fuzzy and music began to play. I couldn't understand where this was coming from and to be honest was more than annoyed with it. I tried will all that I had to go back to my dream that was so far from reality, but it was no use.
Finally I gave in with a large sigh and opened my eyes to the reality of the world. I ripped my headphone out of my ears and threw my ipod across that room. Upset that it had woken me from the best dream I had ever had. I turned over to my back and look up at the ceiling, wondering if it will ever be more than just a dream. She seems to find me in me even in my dreams. When she slides her hand down my back and onto my hips goose bumps arise on every inch of my body. Just think of her soft sweet skin makes me quiver. I wish with all my heart this could be real but know that it is not so and I will wake up alone and forgotten by the world. I know I have no chance in making this come true but you can't help a girl in hoping and dreaming that someday this dream will become a reality. I close my eyes and shake my head no very well this is not possible. I look at the clock and realize that it was 9:00. I rolled over and sighed think that I may as well go back to sleep but when I rolled over I noticed light coming through my curtains. I rolled back onto my back and thought to myself. Had I really just slept all day and night? I hadn't slept like that since...well I couldn't even think of the last time. All of a sudden it all clicked in. I was supposed to be at school an hour ago. She gets me into trouble and doesn't even know who I am. The day I saw her walking out of the café I knew that I would never be able to look at anyone the same as I did that day I thought as I ran to the bathroom to get ready for school as quickly as possible.