Notes:
I have trouble believing in a Danny that only sees happy things for himself, so I wrote this. Once again, my dear Narkito looked this over and gave me some ideas to make it better.
This could maybe be read as slash if you've had lots of eggnogg, tilt your head and squint, but I make no promises.
All mistakes are mine!
Enjoy!
Danny finds himself back in the quarantine room, laying on the floor after being shot and staring at the face of a dead man that he doesn't recognize.
Everything hurts, and he can barely draw a breath, but the worst part is that he's alone. There's no one there to help him, and he can't figure out if he's been alone all along, or if the guy shot everyone and they're all dead because of him.
He tries to look around, he needs to see if Steve and the others are alive, but things turn blurry and dark before he can see anything.
He's back in his hospital room. Everyone has left except for Steve, and Danny can see that he has no intention of leaving any time soon.
He didn't get a chance to think too much about his nightmare, because Steve was acting stupid and he needed to stop, and by the time they were done arguing he had forgotten all about it.
The party is winding down, and Danny sits on the couch, trying to look like he's not sleeping with his eyes open.
He's been having fun, finally being able to hang out with friends without them looking at him like he was going to drop dead right then and there. Sadly, Steve bugs him to take his meds before everyone leaves, and pretty soon he's nodding off.
He's laying on his back, trying to get a look around the room, but all he can see are Tani's feet, unmoving, just behind the table. He tries to turn to the side, feeling weak and dizzy when he finally manages to move, moaning in fear at the sight of Junior lying on the floor with his eyes open, a bullet wound on his forehead.
"Detective Williams, wake up, sir."
Danny jumps on the spot, wincing at the pain the movement causes. "Sonuva-" he bites out, glaring at whoever has the great idea to startle him awake.
Junior looks at him as if he just kicked Danny's puppy, and Danny doesn't remember getting a puppy, so he assumes it's because of the scare. "What, what is it?" He asks, trying not to stare too much at Junior's unharmed forehead.
"Commander McGarrett is bringing some clothes for you to change into, he asked me to tell you that you could sleep in the guest room. I'm meeting some academy buddies and I'll probably crash there," Junior looks worried still, but something else catches Danny's attention.
"You're not crashing at Tani's," he warns, not forgetting the image of the two of them in some kind of disgustingly-happy relationship. "You're not growing a 'fro either, it'd look ridiculous on you."
Junior's eyes get even bigger than they already were. He starts shaking his head even before Danny stops speaking, but finally realizes that it's easier to just go with it.
"Understood, sir," he says with a sigh.
Steve comes back downstairs, bringing a worn t-shirt and sweat pants. "Alright buddy, put these on and go to sleep in an actual bed. You were giving me a crick in the neck just by looking at you," he says, not hiding his concern very well.
When Danny doesn't move, Steve stops to give him a good look. "You alright, Danno?"
Danny looks at the two of them, trying to figure out if this is just another dream he's going to wake up from. In the end he figures that there's not much he can do either way, so with a shrug of his not so messed up shoulder he moves to stand. "I'm good, it's just the meds that make me a bit stupid."
Steve just smirks and Danny only stops himself from elbowing him in the gut, because it would hurt him more than Steve.
Danny doesn't go back to the quarantine room that night, and then it's Christmas Eve, and he forgets about it for a while. Grace is too busy texting Will to come out of her room, so he and Charlie bake some cookies. He invites Adam over to check the chimney and after he leaves, Danny ends up the evening telling Charlie a story about Uncle Steve and some angels saving the day as usual.
He's hurting a bit by the time Steve shows up, and he can't really hide the wince when they're sitting, arguing about the cookies. Steve notices and goes to find Danny's meds before he 'accidentally' forgets them again.
The floor of the quarantine room looks the same, and now that he's paying attention, Danny can hear some soft sound coming from behind him, over the noise of the AC.
It's some sort of gurgling noise, but he can't manage to turn around and see what is making that noise. "Steve?" he gasps. He can barely breathe, and his sight is winking in and out. The only thing he can clearly feel is the ache on his chest and shoulder.
The gurgling pauses, followed by a wheezy "Danny, I can't-" followed by more gurgling. A few seconds later the sound stops.
Danny opens his eyes again and tries desperately to turn around, but he only manages to shift a bit. "Steve! Steve, answer me!" He wheezes.
He hears a gasp, and choking noises. "Danny, Danny…" he finally hears in a faint voice.
The only thing he hears after that is the sound of the AC, no matter how much he calls Steve's name.
"Danny! Wake up, Danny!" He hears as he opens his eyes, stumbling to his feet as he tries to get away from the dead man in front of him. "No! Stay away!"
Steve steadies him, but steps away once he's sure that Danny can stay on his feet. "Danny, you were having a nightmare. You're home, you're safe," he says gently.
Danny looks around the room, his face crumbling in distress. "Why the hell am I back here again?" He breathes.
Steve frowns in confusion. "What do you mean, buddy? You're home. It was just a nightmare."
Danny shakes his head. "I don't want to keep doing this, just want it to stop!" He says in a stronger voice.
"What do you want to stop, Danny?" Steve asks in a gentle tone.
Danny looks around the room again, glaring at the Christmas tree and the stockings on the fireplace. "I just want to stop with this stupid happy places my stupid brain is coming up with. If I'm dying, I just want to get it over with," he says, sounding defeated.
Steve moves closer, but tries to give Danny some space. "Come here, Danno. Why don't we sit down and you tell me all about these places your brain is taking you? Maybe we can figure it out together," he says kindly, taking Danny's arm and nudging him to sit back on the couch.
Danny lets Steve lead him where he wants to, starting to look pissed about the situation. "There's not much to figure out, I just want to be done with it," he says with a sigh, lifting his hand to rub his aching chest.
Steve nods, sitting next to Danny, but keeping his distance in case Danny wants to move. "Alright, so tell me about these 'happy places', what happens there?"
Danny goes quiet for a minute, looking down at his hands. "It's not just one thing, first it was our restaurant. It was a huge hit, we had a great chef and we were having a blast running it. I was even coming up with new dishes to add to the menu," he says with a small smile.
"Then I go back to the room, and everything hurts. After that, I think Grace was getting married, to Will, and even if she was freaking out about it, she was happy, and I was happy for her, can you believe it?" A small smile graces Danny's face, and Steve can't help to mirror it.
"Then it's back to the quarantine room, wearing some sort of stupid mask that was choking me to death," the smile vanishes, followed by a full body shudder.
Steve opens his mouth to explain about the oxygen, but Danny keeps going with his story. "After that, it was Charlie's graduation from the Police Academy. We were there, along with Tani and Junior, and my boy was all grown up and happy.
"The next one we're old, a little deaf and a lot of grumpy. I have a granddaughter, and for some stupid reason I decide to go all out and blurt that I regret nothing, that I'm happy with my life and all that crap," he mutters with a frown, trying not to smile at the memory.
"Then it's the hospital, with everyone happy that I made it, and this whole thing about Christmas," he finishes with a sigh.
"You'd been badly hurt, buddy. Of course we were all happy that you made it," Steve says, not understanding why Danny wouldn't believe it actually happened.
Danny just shakes his head, not ready to buy what Steve was saying.
Steve waits to make sure that Danny doesn't have anything else to say. "Danny, why do you think you're dying?" He asks gently.
Danny swallows reflexively, looking away. It takes him a minute to find the words, but he finally manages to explain. "I keep going back to the room. I hurt, and Tani and Junior are—" He shakes his head, needing a moment to continue, "I'm on the floor, I can't move, and you're behind me, dying. You call my name, and you stop breathing. I can't do anything, and I don't know why I have to stick around, go through this shit again only to go back to that room," he sniffs, lifting a hand to angrily brush a tear away.
Steve frowns in concern. "Oh, buddy. Trust you to pick the worst outcome as the real one," he says, shaking his head. "Why the hell would you think that's the real one?"
Danny sits straighter, looking defensive. "Because it is! It hurts… And I feel like I'm dying," he says with a shrug.
Steve reaches out to place a hand on Danny's knee. "Danny, you've been hurting all the time since you got shot. A bullet went through your chest, and then I had to make another hole to help you breathe. I'd be surprised if you weren't sore as hell right now," he says kindly. "It takes time before the pain truly goes away, and you're a stubborn ass that does too much and hates pain meds."
"No, I'm not," comes Danny's weak retort.
"Yes, you are. I know because I'm just as stubborn, and I know that healing from what you went through hurts like a son of a bitch. You were also having a nightmare, so it stands to reason that you were feeling helpless and like there's no way out," Steve explains.
Danny shakes his head, not buying Steve's explanation, but thankfully looking more annoyed than upset.
Steve sighs, leaning forward to catch Danny's eye. "Alright, so tell me about this room, what does it feel like, is it cold, warm?"
Danny looks away, shifting in place nervously. "It was cold, I think? The AC was on, I was hurt, so it's cold," he says with a nod.
Steve nods as well, even if Danny is still not looking at him. "OK, what does it smell like?"
Danny turns to look at Steve. "What do you mean what it smells like? You know what it smells like, you were there!" He says in annoyance.
"Just humor me, man. What does it smell like?"
Danny thinks about it for a second, turning to look at Steve. "I don't know. Like a hospital I think? I-I'm not sure."
Steve's expression turns sympathetic. "Danny, you know how a crime scene smells."
Danny knows what Steve is talking about, but the thought of Tani and Junior's bodies smelling like that makes him shudder again. A thought strikes him then. "It didn't smell like that with the weird mask, either."
Steve winces. "It really did," he says sadly, "the mask protected you from the worst of it."
Danny just shakes his head, not finding anything to contradict Steve's statement.
"Now about the restaurant, do you remember how the food tasted? Was there any smell that stuck in your head?" Steve asked, wanting to stop Danny from dwelling too much on the asshole that shot him.
Danny leans back on the couch, a thoughtful look on his face. He finally shakes his head again.
Steve leans forward, catching Danny's eye again. "How about yesterday at my place, and today. Do you remember the smell or taste of anything?"
Danny snorts, wincing a bit at the movement. "You had that awful beer, what makes you think I'd want to drink a beer with no alcohol?"
Steve smiles. "I just thought you'd like that better than the egg nog or the pineapple juice."
Danny shakes his head. "You're an idiot." He sits quietly for a moment, looking around the room, wanting to believe, but still a bit frightened that it's all some weird dream. "So this is really it? It's not a dream?" He asks quietly.
"I'd offer to pinch you, but that'd only make you punch me in the face, and then you'll end up messing your shoulder even worse," Steve says with a grin.
Danny rolls his eyes, elbowing Steve with a halfhearted chuckle. "Now you're an asshole."
Steve moves closer, lifting his hand to squeeze Danny's shoulder. "Yeah, sorry about that," he says with a shrug.
Danny sits quietly for a while, trying to come to terms with what he realizes now it's real, and what was just a terrible nightmare. He doesn't want to think about the terrible thing that happened before all of that, since he has enough trouble dealing with the fact that he's not actually dying, as he feared. The thought uncoils something inside of him, and he sighs in relief.
Steve studies Danny's reaction. "You ok?"
Danny turns to look at Steve. Not knowing what to say, he just shrugs.
"Listen Danno, you went through a hell of a trauma, and it's not unusual to have some nightmares or other issues after that kind of thing," Steve says.
"You didn't," Danny refutes quickly, not ready to accept his own weakness or the trauma behind it.
Steve is quiet for a couple of seconds, lost in thought. "You're forgetting the last time with Wo Fat," he says softly.
It takes a minute for Steve's words to make sense in Danny's head, but when they do, he wishes he could go back to that damn quarantine room and shoot himself. "Damnit, I'm an asshole," he growls, leaning forward to hide his face in his hands.
Steve leans closer as well. "No man. Remember you were there with me the whole time?"
Danny turns to look in Steve's direction. "Of course I do. You were drugged and confused, and that son of a bitch had hurt you. I wasn't going to leave you alone for anything!"
Steve nods in agreement. "I know, man. And it meant a lot to me that you stuck around. That you played the watchdog part while I was down, and that you found ways to be there when I was still struggling after the worse was over," he says seriously. "I guess what I was trying to say is that I'm here. I got your back, OK? And I'll stick around until things get better, we clear?" He finishes, not taking his eyes off Danny's.
Danny needs to swallow a couple of times before he can speak, blinking back tears. "Is that supposed to make me feel better?" he asks with a weak smile.
Steve chuckles. "Now you're really an asshole," he says kindly, pulling Danny into a one-armed hug that Danny accepts gratefully.
They sit quietly for a couple of minutes, until; "So Danno, you came up with all these scenarios where we practically live happily ever after?" Steve asks with a smile.
A pillow lands on Steve's head. "Shut up, you're an idiot."
About half an hour later, Grace gets out of her room, after texting with Will for a while and wrapping a couple of presents, to see if her dad needs any help with his own. She's surprised to find her dad and Uncle Steve snoring on the couch, and not one present under the tree. Her surprise turns to annoyance at the sight of the empty plate of cookies. She clears her throat loudly, which causes Uncle Steve to open his eyes and look around the room. It's kind of cool how he manages to do all of that without waking Danno, but Grace just focuses on glaring at him at the moment.
He untangles himself from Danny and stands up when he sees Grace. "I'm sorry, Gracie, I just nodded off for a minute there," he says with a shrug and a smile.
"He should be sleeping in his bed," Grace says in a deadly serious tone, "the presents are not under the tree, and you ate the cookies."
Steve fidgets in place. "I'm sorry, Gracie," he repeats in a more apologetic tone.
Grace just rolls her eyes.
"You're a terrible Santa," she says with a huff, moving towards Danny's room. "Just help me with the presents and then help him to bed, and then you can have another cookie," she mutters in a tone that reminds Steve too much of Danny.
"Thank you, Gracie," he says with a smile.
The End
Notes:
Thank you so much for reading, and my apologies for ruining the happy vibe of the episodes! *hides*
I'd love to see what you thought of this one!