Disclaimer: Characters do not belong to me. They most likely belong to Dick Wolf and/or NBC/Universal. I do this for free, fun entertainment and do not mean to offend anyone.
Rating/Warning: This fic is rated MA+ for adult situations (that means sex) involving two women. If you don't like it then don't read it.
A/N: This chapter is all smut, but there is an actual plot (I think) to this entire story, so just hang in there if you want substance. I really hope you like it. Enjoy!
Thank You: And, of course, I must say thank you to milk3002 giving this a read-through to make it a little more reader friendly before I posted.
Blurring Reality
Chapter 1 – Reflections
Alex stood in a darkened room and vaguely wondered how it was she'd come to be there. She had a sense of familiarity about the room, so she wasn't overly concerned by her lack of insight into why she was there; it was almost as if she'd been here before and was excited about being back.
Normally her mind would be racing to try to figure out what she was doing in this strange place, but right now it was oddly calm. Alex actually felt a flutter of anticipation in the pit of her stomach instead of any sort of fear of the unknown that might be hidden in the surrounding darkness.
She was standing in a pool of muted light that seemed brighter than it actually was by virtue of being the only illumination in the room, though she couldn't tell where the light source originated from. Her eyesight couldn't pierce the pitch blackness that began at the edge of her safe circle. However, it wasn't any feeling of fear of the darkness that kept her within the ring of light, but the absolute certainty that she was exactly where she was supposed to be and she would soon be found by whoever was meant to find her.
Alex was very aware of her deep, even breathing as she stood in a relaxed pose with her arms hanging loosely at her sides. She allowed her gaze to travel unhurriedly around the visible space without moving anything but her clear, observant eyes, knowing instinctively that the view behind her differed little from the one in front.
In the back of her mind, Alex knew it was odd behavior for her to not only be doing nothing, but also for her mind to be surprisingly quiet and peaceful. The least active she ever was was when she sat in court and had to show respect to the judge, jury, and institution that she had sworn to uphold as a prosecutor. But even when she was there, her mind was always grinding away at finding the weakness in her opponent's case. Alex was certain that even while sleeping her mind worked through more issues than many people's did while they were awake.
Hearing a soft noise behind her, Alex cocked her head to the side and her eyes shot over to look at her periphery, but she still didn't turn her body or tense up. When she could discern nothing different through the curtain of black beyond her circle of light, Alex faced front once again.
As she brought her vision back around, she saw that a full length mirror was now positioned in front of her. Although the appearance of the reflective surface was sudden, Alex felt no alarm that she hadn't actually seen it appear. At the moment it was situated so that she couldn't see anything behind her; she could only see her own form reflected back from its depths.
There was another soft scuff across the smooth wooden floor behind her that distracted Alex from gazing into the mirror. Again she saw nothing when she turned her head to look, but she did feel another pang of excitement twist eagerly in her gut. If she were inclined to think about it, Alex would know without a doubt what was causing those feelings, as very few had ever effected her that way and only one in recent memory.
"Face front," said the soft yet commanding voice from the darkness. The voice, and to be perfectly honest the command itself, sent pleasant shivers down Alex's spine that then radiated throughout the rest of her body. Not for a split second did Alex think about disobeying, nor did she even want to disobey the direction. The control that Alex held so close and dear to her during her everyday life was quickly and willingly given over to the figure still cloaked by the surrounding darkness.
Alex swiveled her head back around and was finally surprised, as she could now see her nude body reflected back at her. She almost questioned whether she'd been wearing clothes when she's first found herself in this room, but knew that couldn't have been the case; she would have noticed earlier had she been naked. Alex couldn't help but let out a soft gasp at the sudden exposure but was aware enough of the possible consequences not to try to look for the culprit in the shadows behind her.
There was little Alex could do but look at herself in the mirror. She dispassionately studied her bare body. She knew that others found her form to be pleasing to look at, but wasn't particularly impressed with it herself. The only times she ever cared how she looked was when she was in court where she prided herself on her professional dress and demeanor, or when she knew she would be seeing a certain detective whom she couldn't seem help but want to impress.
Alex had grown up in a relatively conservative environment and had been trained from that upbringing to want to avert her gaze from her naked body. She would have done so if she wasn't aware that such an action would cause disappointment in her lover and end whatever fantasy she had envisioned for tonight. The one thing Alex couldn't handle right now was for her lover not to touch her; she yearned for physical contact, ached for it.
She continued to focus on the image in the mirror, her formerly relaxed posture becoming tenser and more uncomfortable the longer she stood there with no other sound to indicate her lover was close to touching her. It was again anticipation that made her body taut and perhaps the slight fear that her lover had exited the room and left her to wait, maybe forever, in sweet agony. There was no way she could turn to find out because her love would certainly leave her unsatisfied if she tried to rush this slow seduction.
All the thoughts swirling through Alex's mind weren't helping her patience any and she knew her body was trembling with the effort to suppress her desire. She could only focus on the scattered images of what her lover might have planned for her tonight and it was the myriad of possibilities, the not knowing which exquisite pleasure would be visited upon her tonight, that kept her on the razor edge of insanity.
The stillness around her was just about to break Alex when she heard the now unmistakable, and incredibly arousing, sound of supple leather sliding against cloth; it was a sound Alex had been conditioned to find exciting because of what it often preceded. Alex heard the heavy sound of the leather jacket hit the floor a second before she saw an arm reach out of the darkness behind her to snake around her waist.
She let out a gasp of pleasure at both the sensation and the visual of that powerful, olive-toned forearm crossing her own pale skin. Alex took such pleasure in just watching her lover and she wanted desperately to run her own hand along the strong tendons that flexed as their fingers teased her exposed skin. They made a striking contrast and Alex loved the picture they made when standing next to each other.
Alex focused on that arm as its hand made lazy circles across her abdomen, concentrating on the skin around her navel, but every once in a while dipping lower to tease the top of the curls shielding Alex's sex. She felt warm breath on the back of her neck but knew that her lover would keep herself hidden behind her own image, so Alex continued to watch the hand playing across her stomach. Alex knew that her lover wanted her to focus only on her own body and not on trying to see who was pleasuring her in the mirror.
Soon, the other tanned hand made an appearance and gently cupped the aroused attorney's left breast. Alex moaned softly, finally feeling as though everything was right in her world, and rested her head back on the strong shoulder behind her. The move had the added benefit of pushing her breast more firmly into the knowing hand teasing it. She was putty in her lover's hands and it was the only place she would ever feel comfortable enough to cede any amount of control.
The woman behind Alex pressed closer to the blonde, taking much of Alex's weight against her strong, lithe body. Alex could feel the softness of her lover's cotton T-shirt across her back, relishing the press of full breasts, even through a thin layer of clothing, against her sensitized skin. The jeans that her lover wore were coarse against the soft skin at the backs of her thighs, but Alex was only more acutely aware and aroused by the reminder that she was completely exposed while her lover remained fully clothed.
Alex's lover burrowed through her hair to nuzzle softly against her neck, causing Alex to sigh contentedly. Her wonderfully gifted girlfriend was the perfect combination of reverent tenderness and exciting aggressiveness, either or she could let dominate their love-play, depending on their collective mood.
"Look, Alex. Watch me love you," she husked softly against the shell of Alex's ear and the attorney could distinctly hear the barely controlled desire in her voice.
It felt so good to lean back against the solid body behind her and just feel what she was doing to her, but Alex wanted to share her pleasure, wanted to bring to fruition her lover's carefully constructed scene of seduction. She accepted another light kiss against the pulse point on her neck before picking her head back up to look once again at her reflection.
Alex was immediately rewarded by a firm pinch to her nipple that jolted her spine rigid with the perfect mix of pain being overlaid and soothed by exquisite pleasure. No one else knew how much the juxtaposition of those two seemingly opposing sensations excited Alex, and no one else ever would.
"Good girl," she said as she moved her right hand up from playing low on Alex's abdomen to cup the other pale, firm breast.
Alex whimpered in displeasure when she felt the hand move further away from her aching center. She wanted attention in the worst way and even though she usually liked to be teased, Alex could already feel the wetness coating her upper thighs from the mental images that had assaulted her mind while she'd waited impatiently earlier. It was all she could do not to capture a strong tanned hand in her own more fine-boned one and drag it down to the heat between her legs.
Her girlfriend's gently soothing shushing was not what kept Alex's hands firmly at her sides, nor was it the fact that she knew she would be rewarded later for her patience. Tonight was as much about her lover's pleasure as it was about her own and Alex wouldn't strive for her own if it meant denying her love's. Alex did not give access to her body to anyone she didn't love and it was that love which always prevented her from seeking pleasure without reciprocating it.
"Please," Alex implored. "I can't wait."
She kept her hands at her sides, but pressed herself more firmly back against her lover. The press of a cold belt buckle against her burning skin made Alex gasp. It wasn't just the sharp temperature difference that startled Alex, but the mental images that flashed instantly to mind of unbuckling that belt and slowly pulling it from around a trim waist.
Alex's mind completed the fantasy with her on her knees placing delicate, teasing kisses along a finely quivering abdomen while her fingers nimbly but slowly unbuttoned and unzipped the fly of her lover's jeans. And as she parted the folds of the jeans, she would get that first heady scent of her lover's need, the one that made her need to taste and always caused a possessive jolt to run through her as she silently vowed to be the last person to ever have the honor of satisfying her lover's desire.
Pushing that particular fantasy aside for now, Alex once again focused on the here and now. She loved undressing her girlfriend, although Alex doubted that was in the cards tonight. But while she had been content thus far to let her lover have her way, Alex was hit with the sudden need to return the physical touch.
For the first time this night, Alex couldn't stop her hands from reaching behind her and touching the woman who was driving her crazy. She just needed the contact and wasn't specifically aiming for any particular part of her love's body, but they both groaned in ecstasy when her hands clasped a toned denim-clad ass and rocked her hips back for a more intimate connection.
In the mirror a few inches above her left shoulder, Alex could finally see a pair of blazing brown eyes lock with her own eager blue gaze through the reflection. The heat in them, and knowing that it came from arousal instead of anger, caused another flood of moisture between her thighs. They were as hungry for her as she had ever seen them, but Alex was melted by the love shining in those infinite depths that was never overshadowed by the desire.
"No touching, Lex," she said with arousal roughening her voice as she moved Alex's hands back to her sides, running gentle fingers along the soft skin on the underside of her forearms before once again bringing those hands up to the attorney's breasts. "Tonight is about you."
Alex wanted to protest, but the imploring look in those beautiful brown eyes silenced her before she could even begin to formulate the words. She could see the smile that was undoubtedly stretched across her lover's lips make its way up to her eyes when Alex conceded to trying her best to just enjoy what was being done to her without touching back. Her body was clamoring for release and she could never have denied her lover anything she wanted anyways.
A firm squeeze to her breasts brought Alex's gaze immediately back down to watch the reflection of hands playing across her chest. It was just the result her lover was looking for as the olive-skinned woman released a purr of pleasure and let her right hand begin to trail down Alex's torso.
In the mirror, Alex saw her abdominal muscles clench as her lover's fingers made their torturously slow journey down her body. Alex whimpered as she boldly widened her stance, making it easier to access her needy flesh and hoping that she wouldn't have to wait too long before it got the attention it so desperately wept for.
A soft chuckle came from behind her and Alex once again felt warm breath against her ear. "Impatient, love?" she teased the attorney as she let her fingers sift through the trimmed curls at the base of Alex's stomach.
Alex cried out in frustration when the hand stalled instead of slipping lower, but the cry turned into a groan when a single finger finally dipped into the moisture between her legs. At last getting what she wanted, Alex couldn't stop her head from falling back on the shoulder behind her; the tension of waiting eased for a couple of too short seconds before her body grew taut with building pleasure.
"No, Alex. Watch," her lover commanded gently as she took away the soothing until Alex heeded her words.
Immediately, Alex lifted her head and locked her eyes on the juncture between her legs. Almost as quickly, her love's skillful hand went back to lightly cup her there. A gently probing finger tested her wetness and came out slick with moisture.
"God, Alex, you're so wet," she said on a pained moan as she buried her face in Alex's sweat-slicked neck for a moment. It seemed that the visual and tactile experiences were too much for her to handle at once in that instant.
"Only for you," Alex gasped as she felt a single finger glide easily over her hard clit. Teasing always got her blood flowing, and if she was honest, just being around her lover was enough to keep her on the sharp edge of near-constant arousal.
"God, only for you," she said again as she curled her fingers into the denim-clad thighs behind her. She would just have to be forgiven for this transgression because it was either clutch her lover close or dig her nails into her own exposed flesh. Alex needed something to hold on to if she was expected to keep watching as she was pushed so expertly to the brink of insanity.
Carefully avoiding any further contact with Alex's sensitive bundle of nerves, her lover slid a finger inside her tight sheath; Alex was always so tight and needed to be eased into any kind of penetration. It was as much the desire-filled groans that rumbled in the chest at her back as it was the intimate act she was watching that ratcheted Alex's arousal to an even higher level. She had always thought herself lucky that her lover enjoyed pleasing her as much as she loved receiving attention, although they both liked to give just as much as they liked to receive, so they were both lucky.
When Alex started canting her hips, her lover slipped another finger inside of her. "Please, baby, please," Alex begged, wanting desperately to come but needing something more before that would happen.
"Go ahead, baby. Touch yourself. I know you need to," her lover whispered in her ear.
Alex's eyes shot up to meet darkened brown ones, surprised at the request even while being undeniably turned on by it. Alex considered such an act to be extremely private and had never entertained the possibility of allowing someone else to watch. In this case she wouldn't be the only one touching her body, but there was still something incredibly intimate about having another person watch while you touched yourself.
It was the trust and love that shone through those open, expressive dark eyes that convinced Alex. It was the knowledge that she could refuse and it wouldn't change anything about their relationship, that her refusal wouldn't be held against her, which bolstered the already incredibly strong bond of trust they shared with each other.
Alex kept her eyes locked on her love's as she slid her hand over her hip and down to the apex of her thighs. She would have thought it impossible for those brown eyes to darken any more had she not witnessed it herself. And it was the rapt attention focused on her hand that had Alex's own eyes drawn back to the movement between her thighs.
The two fingers that had stopped their rhythmic thrusting started up once again as Alex skimmed her fingers over her hardened clit, causing her hips to jerk at that first exquisite contact. Letting Alex set the pace, her lover moved her fingers in sync with the light circles on her most sensitive flesh. It wasn't long before Alex relaxed into the comforting body behind her when she no longer had the ability to hold herself up on her own.
As the circles on her clitoris became faster and jerkier, her lover gave her that final push over the edge by curling her fingers to scrape against the ultra-sensitive flesh inside. Alex couldn't distinguish her own harsh breathing from that of the woman inside her, but at the moment they were one in the same so it didn't matter.
Needing to be looking into her lover's beautiful eyes when she climaxed, Alex dragged her eyes away from the erotic display reflected in the mirror and looked up into her lover's soul. That final connection was all she needed to push her over the edge. . .
"Olivia!" Alex cried the name of her dream lover into the dark as she jerked violently awake in her bedroom. . . alone again.