Panta Rhei

Characters: Riku, Olette

Pairing: Eventual Riku/Olette, obviously

Rating: T-M, rated M for safety.

Summary: Insomnia, like the darkness, creeps. He tries to escape it and next, he finds her.

Author's Notes: This is a really old piece that had been lying around that had (...has?) potential to become a multi-chaptered story. I remember starting this and hailing it off as a one shot, but I'm glad I have it saved. Re-reading through this spawned me to try and write a little more for this story in itself, and tie it into a hopeful project that's been lingering in the back of my widdle head for quite some time!

Dislcaimer: I, Sous, do not own Kingdom Hearts or its characters. I'm just borrowing them for fun times and because these two will always be my OTP! Yaaaay!

Part One: Insomnia

The burden of self-loathing always becomes too much to bear. For Riku it gave way to insomnia and put him on the edge, forcing him to stay awake at all hours. For the next few months his usually vibrant aquamarine eyes were dull and his hair was messier than it usually was and there were dark circles under his eyes.

He never told anybody about anything, not a single soul back on Destiny Islands. Not Sora, not Kairi, the two friends he cherished most, even if Sora cherished Kairi just a little bit more. Riku wasn't jealous, he was just hurt. That hurt made him slowly distance himself from them, and when the nightmares started, he shut them out completely, not even going near them as if their bodies were hot to the touch.

His mother asked him what was wrong, his father asked if he had been getting any sleep and when he snapped at them, it gave them their answers. It was like this for the first few mornings, until Riku decided it was just best to not sleep at all. Oh no, no Sandman would be coming to claim him. Not if those grains of sand gave him nightmares of his betrayal, that betrayal stemming deeper into murder, deeper into the darkness and made him crave the light in a bittersweet sort of way.

If he craved it and wished for it to cradle him, it would only remind him that he could very much tear it apart, tear it into shreds, the way that Way to the Dawn did when it collided with Kairi's chest and exited out the other end. Nobody stopped him in his nightmares, by the time he found the will to stop, his hands were stained in blood and somewhere in the recesses of his dream it was Ansem's voice chuckling at him as he was surrounded by a mass of corpses that were once his friends.

Destiny Islands became the prison it was when he was younger and he sought to escape from it. Riku abandoned a worried Kairi and Sora—he told them absolutely nothing because all he would be able to say was sorry—and he boarded the next train. He would get off at the last stop.

That last stop happened to be a small town where the sun couldn't decide if it would let the evening come out to play, or if it would let the day and its gorgeous blue hues loom above. The town was permanently caught in the space between night and day and the only hues available were the shades of red. It had been warm and inviting, and the people were just like that. Surely, they had no idea of what he had done before he was awarded the title of 'Hero'. The King told him that he wasn't apart of the darkness anymore.

"Bullshit." he uttered under his breath as he walked through the streets of Twilight Town. The darkness constantly stalked him and kept Riku in its clutches. Yes, he might have talked the talk in his battle against Xemnas but somehow, his nightmares were worse than the nobody. They were worse because it was his own subconscious that delivered them to his closed eyelids.

Riku had been barely aware of the people asking him if he had wanted something, or if he was alright because it looked like he could use a break—his body had been screaming for one of those for a while—and all he could do was mumble and shake his head and keep walking. When he rounded a corner, he heard a bright and happy voice, a clear contrast to his own dark and low one.

"Would you like a letter?"

The question hadn't been directed at Riku, but at a small bird perched on top of a mailbox. With tired eyes, Riku spied a girl who couldn't have rose past his shoulders with soft-looking chocolate brown hair styled into two pigtails that rested on her shoulders. From the way the top part of her hair had those frayed edges made him think she had been just a little lazy in styling those pigtails of hers. She also had these light, jubilant, but intense green eyes and light rose-colored lips which had been curved into a small smile. Around her neck had been a flimsy black piece of string and in the center was an aqua colored orb.

Her hand had been extended toward the tiny bird, smooth white envelope in between her thumb and index fingers firmly. Around her dainty wrist were aqua-colored beads, which had done nothing to match the outfit—orange top, khaki colored capris and yellow, white, and black sneakers—that had blended in with this town. She was a far cry from the people he had already seen in this town. Something about them made them common, she on the other hand had been different, and not because she was talking to a bird perched on a mailbox either.

The bird let out a small chirp, as if answering her question and its head dipped downward to bite at the letter. It didn't fly off, but it did drop the letter on the top of the mailbox and she laughed a little. Riku had only seen this girl for a few seconds but she already knew how to be different from Kairi or Sora. It didn't take a genius to see that since they returned, Sora had more or less tried to make things go back to normal, and Kairi had started walking on eggshells around Riku. Those actions in themselves snubbed Riku just a little bit. He never liked seeing Kairi or Sora have to force themselves to laugh. When they did it came out nervous and hollowed and it hurt him.

This girl's laugh had been genuine, sweet, and over something small none the less. That's what Riku had missed about his friends, about his home. He shifted lightly, and that had in turn alerted the girl of his presence. Oh God, had he really stopped to look at her for that long? He could have sworn he kept moving and…

"Oh! I didn't see you there…" she started to say. She had been looking at him funny, her head tilted to the side and he found himself unnerved. That in turn made him snap at her.

"What?"

When she cringed, he felt like a jerk.

"I know you." she said finally, "You're Sora's friend, aren't you?"

She knew him, but he didn't know her, and he felt like asking her what exactly she knew about him and where she knew him.

"What's it to you?" he asked her.

"You're Riku, right? Silver hair, aquamarine eyes? The one he had been looking for?"

Riku remained silent, his eyes narrowed just a little. He couldn't remain on the defensive for long, for the girl was bold and she had forgotten about her menial delivery task, walking closer to him and peering at him. She had been smiling all the while and he had been tempted to ask just what the hell was her deal, but…but she looked so…pretty. And she couldn't have been capable of hurting even a fly. She just looked so fragile and pretty all in one go and Riku didn't like the way this was making him feel for the first couple of seconds.

"Looks like Kairi didn't say she had cute friends at home." she replied thoughtfully, pulling back.

Did…did she just call him cute?

"Cute?" Riku blurted out absentmindedly. Anything else would have been suitable—like how she knew Kairi and Sora, why she was invading his personal space—but nooo. He questioned her words. He did get something nice out of it: her cheeks turning a deep rosy red and her voice becoming high enough for her to squeak and sound like a mouse.

"Well…I mean…" she trailed off, "It's…well…you are…but…"

Riku fought off all urges to pat her on the top of her head and lightly poke fun at her speechlessness, settling for blinking at her once, twice, three times. He watched her facial expression change from one of embarrassment to one of worry. She wasn't looking at him, but something else. When he turned around that was when he spied three people standing there looking vaguely unamused.

"Seifer." the girl behind him said. Well, if this Seifer person was the one in the dorky hat, he realized he didn't have anything to worry about.

"Olette. I noticed you weren't with the dweeb patrol like you always are. This guy giving you trouble?"

So that was her name. Olette.

"He's a friend. He's just helping me deliver some letters that's all." Olette said, and before Riku could protest, he felt her hand on his wrist, tugging lightly and then he dumbly followed after her, thoughts briefly landing on how soft her skin was compared to his own when she switched from his wrist to his calloused hand.

Before he could do or say anything, the lack eating or sleeping had caught up to him and things began to get just a tad fuzzy, sideways even. It forced him to pull his hand out of hers and lean against a nearby brick wall for support. Olette's voice had begun to get further and further away from him and in the pit of his stomach he felt that he should hold onto it for a little longer.

"Are…" her voice was still fading from his ears, "...okay? Riku!"

That was the last thing he remembered before things had gone dark. He wasn't suppose to pass out in the street, he was supposed to find a place to laze around for a couple days before something about this town made him want to leave it behind. Riku was supposed to be conscious, it was the only way to not be greeted by nightmares. In some cruel twist of fate, all that awaited him was nothingness. Absolutely nothing. Just a black screen. He wasn't sure how long he had sat there, waiting for any traces of Kairi or Sora, or one of his other friends to show up. If they showed up, Way to the Dawn would show up next and Riku would strike them down until there were a bloody and still wreck. In a truly bittersweet twist of fate, Riku found himself relieved that he hadn't killed his friends, but he couldn't stand the loneliness and the waiting with baited breath for the nightmare to begin and to hear Ansem's voice in his ear.

However, instead of hearing Ansem's voice, he heard an entirely new one.

"Oh God…please wake up! Wake up, Riku!"

Riku forced his eyes to open, he forced them to adjust to wherever he had been—the street, he was sure—so he could tell Olette that he was okay, it was just a little lapse.

The sight that awaited him was a rather familiar aqua colored bead and a black string, and the barest hint of a shoulder. Wisps of chocolate colored strands tickled his cheeks and nose, and he could feel a small hand on his shoulder. When Riku looked up, he saw Olette's worried face peering down at him.

"You're awake!"

Riku settled for staring at her again, noting how her eyebrows were knit and how those rosy lips of hers were downward in a small frown. He decided that such an expression never suited her, she looked like the type that should be happy all the time.

"Don't…" he started to say, "Don't look like that…"

"I should! You…you passed out in the middle of the street!" Olette protested.

"Yeah…Sorry about that." he said.

"Sorry?" Olette responded, the frown still on her face, "You can't apologize for passing out! Riku, what did you do?"

She proceeded to bombard him with questions as he lay there in her arms—her embrace had been so warm and comforting, it really had—and took every last word in. Riku realized that in such a long time, someone had been making the effort to be concerned for him, someone else besides Sora and Kairi. Riku didn't have to worry about blurting out the horrible things he had done in his nightmares and then being ignored by two of his best friends. Not to mention, the someone who had been concerned for him was someone he didn't know. Not yet anyways.

"Didn't sleep." he said finally.

"Riku, you've been out of it…" Olette looked over at the towering clock in the distance, "for a couple of hours!"

"…You stayed here with me?" Riku asked.

"Well, yes! I wasn't going to leave you unconscious in an alleyway…" Olette replied, "C'mon. We should find you something to eat."

She had him at 'I wasn't going to leave you', and Riku realized that maybe leaving the things that he cared about behind worked for the better.

End Notes: So that was only the beginning! I will kickstart my muses into writing just a bit more. Oh Riku, you'll try to run again and Olette will more than likely stop you. You know you can't run from that adorable face—oh, crap. Is my inner shipper showing? Until next installment!