One thing I will say for Yamato is that he makes a fantastic drunk.
I was running late, as per usual, for Mimi's party. Now, for those of you uninitiated in the social rites of our little gang, Mimi needs no excuse to hold a party. It wasn't her birthday; it wasn't Christmas or New Year; it wasn't even a tenuous link to a saint's day which we've had in the past. So today, with no apparent reason for it, she was holding a party in her new flat. And no, for those of you jumping to conclusions, it wasn't a flat warming party. That was three Saturdays ago.
I have a bad habit of being continually an hour late for her gatherings. This mainly because I usually finish my work at exactly the same time as her parties start. Today however, it was even later than usual because I'd had a complete mental block on my column and even ended up making Farell drive over rather than taking a train, to save time. Maxi, my flatmate, had ironed my shirt for me while I showered and with the help of Seif and Farell, the other guys I share with, I looked remotely presentable. The four of us piled into Farell's car and bombed over, picking up Seif's friend Greol on the way. Maxi and Farell had met Mimi before; in fact she set them up and later introduced me to them when I was looking for someone to split the cost of a flat near my university, so they were looking forward to seeing her again. Seif, though having chatted to her over the phone on regular occasions, hadn't and was highly excited about meeting the woman who had designed his favourite make-up line. In fact, he was so excited about meeting her that his eyes were perfectly sparkly and pink shaded in her latest range.
So, with an hour drive compressed into twenty eight minutes exactly, We turned up on her doorstep and were greeted by the booming rock of some obscure ska punk band - a sure sign that Takeru and Daisuke were in the house - and rang the bell a couple of times. Then I banged loudly on it while Farell and Maxi creased in laughter. Swearing loudly, I hardly realised that the door was opening and almost punched the hostess herself as I went to bang some more.
"Taichi!!!" she squealed, kissing me on the cheek. "Darling, you made it! We'd almost given you up as lost! And you guys!!! Aww, you're such a cute couple. Greol, nice to see you again." Seif was almost hopping with excitement. I took pity on the poor guy.
"Meems, this is Seif." They looked at each other, before grinning widely and almost identically.
She clapped her hands and kissed him. "You've got the most beautiful bone structure! Have you ever considered modelling? Would you."
I hustled them in, shaking my head at Mimi's speed in ensuring that Seif would be modelling the next line of foundation and glitter for her. We were all handed shots as we came through the door, instantly swallowed, and followed up with a large pint glass of ice cold beer for me, more blue label vodka for the others; coke for Farell who didn't look impressed at having to stay sober. Nothing but the best at Mimi's. I waved to Sora and Jyou as I passed them, and found myself being swept up in a hug by Kari. "Hey Kid. How're you?"
Camera out and attention elsewhere she just smiled happily. "I'm great. And, uh, Me 'n Teeks, well, we've come to an agreement."
The blonde in question snuck up alongside her, slipping an arm around her waist. "We're getting married next May."
I elegantly snorted out the beer I'd been drinking through my nose. "Bloody Hell! Guys, that's fantastic. But, Bloody hell! You are sure about this?!" Two beaming, nodding heads. "Well, fuck me. Good luck." I was in a state of shock. "Wow. So, you've told-"
"Both sets of parents, you and Yamato. We wanted to make sure you guys are okay with it before telling everyone else." Takeru's eyes sparkled mischievously. "We're sure Meem's'll throw us an engagement party. Oh, and Dais knows. He's far more perceptive than anyone gives him credit for. He guessed instantly."
"Congratulations." Maxi told Hikari. "That's really cool." She turned on me. "And when are you going to settle down Mister? Your little sister's getting married and you're as single as ever." She teased. Farell ruffled my hair for her and Seif, Mimi, Hikari and Teeks didn't even attempt to quell their laughter. "In fact I've never seen you with a boyfriend."
I groaned. "Leave me alone! It's not my fault that I'm-"
"A complete weirdo?" A voice floated past my ear as warm, slender arms came around from behind me and golden silky hair brushed along my neck. "Aw, our eternal bachelor, are they taking the piss out of you?"
I twirled him around, allowing him to kiss me fleetingly on the lips and then hugging him tightly. "Yama-chan! I didn't know you were back!" He smiled at me, million watt beam and genuine happiness shimmering in his deep blue eyes.
"Got back about three hours ago. Jetlag's kicking in. The band are in there, chatting up the 'Talent' - well, Aimki is, I don't know about the others." He was slightly buzzed, I could tell. Yamato, normally, is one of those restrained people. Not frigid, no, never that, but you generally had to initiate the contact. And only when he was comfortable with you. I could put my arm round his shoulders; or ruffle his hair; or warm his hands when we walked; or hug him; but very rarely would he make any kind of attempt to instigate physical contact. The Ice Queen. That was the general tag his band had given him, and so had their fans. Didn't stop him from being one of the most lusted after performers on the rock scene. However, drunk, even slightly buzzed as he was that night, makes all his reservation melt away like ice cream on a warm summer's day. He kisses a lot: little butterfly kisses on friends faces and hands. Hugs come instantaneously and his extremely tactile and passionate nature shines through. I think he'd be like this all the time when he's deeply in love; hasn't happened yet that I know of. But whatever. One thing I will say for Yamato is that he makes a fantastic drunk.
"Why didn't you tell me you were going to be back, you baka!" I laughed as he attempted to look innocent, then gave up and pouted.
"I wanted it to be a surprise, so I busted a gut getting here only to find out that you were almost Two. Hours. Late." He punctuated each word with a kiss and a final growl on my neck. "But hey, I only cancelled a gig to come and see you."
Guilt trip successfully administered. "Yama, you didn't need to." I stroked his hair as he leant into my shoulder.
"And he didn't, so don't feel bad Taichi." Sapphire eyes glared at Toshim. "Aimki managed to damage his fingers, God alone knows how, and we had to cancel cause he couldn't play."
"Yeah, well, I was the one who bit them." Yamato declared huffily. "So technically, I was the one who got the gig cancelled. And I wouldn't have bitten him if I wasn't thinking of seeing Tai." He buried his face in my shoulder as the insanity of what he'd just said set in, along with the laughter of all us listeners.
"Thanks, I think." He tilts his face up to be kissed and I brush his nose, earning a soft giggle. So child-like when he wants to be, you'd never think that this slim, beautiful creature was a international superstar. "Great example to all those teenage fans of The Wolves... If in doubt: Bite. Way to go Ishida Yamato." I teased, tapping a fingertip on his lips.
"He's Ishida Yamato?! You know ISHIDA YAMATO?! Taichi!!! You never thought to tell me that you know The Ishida Yamato!" Seif wailed, proverbial light bulb suddenly clicking on. "You know Ishida Yamato!"
"And pretty intimately by the looks of things." Farell added wryly, taking in the snaked arm around his waist.
Hikari and Takeru burst into a gale of laughter at that. "This is my best friend." I explained. "And I have told you loads about him, just didn't want to make a big fuss out of him being a rock star. Lord knows, he makes a big enough deal out of it for both of us."
"He's still jealous." Yamato informed them loftily.
I mussed his hair for that one. It had gotten longer since the last time I'd seen him; curving under his chin, straight and free of gel. As blonde as ever though; some things never change. I still wonder if it's natural though. Oh well, doubt I'll ever find out. He sways a little under my hands. "C'mon, let's get you sat down, Singer boy."
"That's Mister Singer boy." He managed to choke out in a vaguely Pumbaa- esque voice before giggling again. I settled down in a large plush armchair and he perched on the armrest next to me. "But you can call me Yama-Chan." He whispered.
"Wouldn't have expected anything less." I whispered back, as he slid down onto my lap, wrapping his legs around my own. Comfortable at last, head resting on my shoulder as he's a great deal smaller than me now, and my arms pulled around his tiny waist so that he can play with my fingers, he returned to being the centre of attention. There were a great amount of girls who came over to ask him to dance, and he turned them away with a smile and a promise of something more hidden in those eyes. A good deal of gossiping and speculation and downright leering was directed toward him, and all the time he was wrapped up in some guys' arms. Mine, admittedly, but you would have though maybe some of them would have put two and two together and got seventeen.
Seif, bless him, was still staring at Yamato who for his part was batting his long eyelashes back at him in blatant flirt mode. "You told us about Yama, but you never deigned to mention he was so cute!"
I had to laugh at that one. "Seif, honey-"
"I'd fuck him." Greol added, smile resembling more of a smirk.
"Remember your boyfriend!" I admonished. "Ziel wouldn't be overtly pleased if you took him home."
"One night wouldn't make that much difference." Greol stood his ground resolutely, fuelled by a large amount of vodka now. "Ziel'd understand. It's an open relationship."
"And he's just so pretty." Seif added. "So.Pretty. How could anyone say no to someone that pretty?"
Yamato beamed. "I'm pretty?" Seif nodded. "I'm pretty." He informed me, smoothing down his hair. "Tai, can I drive your car now?"
"No," I told him absentmindedly, tucking an errant lock behind his ear.
"And that," He told Seif mournfully, big blue eyes wide and naive, "is how anyone can say no to someone as pretty as me."
"Baka! He meant how can anyone turn you down." Mimi explained.
Mischief radiated from every pore of Yamato. "Turn me down in what way?" he asked, innocence projected in every syllable. "What do you mean by that?"
"Play nice, Yama-chan." I murmured into his hair, and was rewarded with a playful nip to my jaw line.
"I am playing nice." He whispered back, unheard by the others. "Kind of. I could play nicer, I suppose." He considered this for a moment, head tilted to one side and pink tongue peeking out the corner of his mouth. "But I think I'll save that for you later, okay?"
"Deal." I agreed, and sat back to watch the insanity.
Mimi, for her part never the sharpest tool in the shed and now far more inebriated than Yamato, gamely tried to explain what she had meant. Yamato listened intently as she stumbled over analogies and euphemisms, greatly helped by the accidental innuendos and double entrées that spewed forth in the midst of her explanation. Daisuke and Ken had joined us by now and the red-head was 'helping' by attempting to mime what Mimi was describing on a now scarlet Ken, who retaliated with a left hook and an apologetic glance at his friend, who meekly settled next to him. As for us others, tears were rolling down my face, and no-one else was much better.
"OhMiGod, Taichi!" Maxi gasped out amid giggles, "You never told us how much of a blast these people are! And you guys managed to save the world?! How the hell?"
I grinned, not even bothering to attempt to speak. Yamato had been the only one not laughing throughout and it was only when Mimi came to a breathless halt that he reacted. Face perfectly straight and tone just a little incredulousness he commented in the resulting lull as we attempted to regain some dignity, "So what you're trying to say is that I can fuck anyone I ever want? Why didn't you just say that?"
Fresh flood of laughter, and a wry smile from Yama as he lent back into me, pleased with himself. "Not bad; deadpan delivery's getting better."
"Hmm." He agreed. "Needs more practice." We shared a grin, falling back into easy patterns.
"You know, you remind me of the babe." I told him, lightly tucking a blonde bang behind his ear.
He grinned at me, delighted, and countered, "What babe?"
"The babe with the power."
"What power?"
"The power of Voodoo."
"Who do?"
"You do."
"Do what?"
"Remind me of the babe."And we cracked up, cackling at the bewildered faces around us. "Mwah, David Bowie eat your heart out, babe." I crowed, planting a kiss on his cheek.
"Have you two ever dated?" Maxi asked, pouring herself the remainer of the wine, and pausing to give Farell a quick kiss before sitting down.
"No, never. We're friends. Wasn't ever going to happen. Besides, you think I'd get a look in with all the gorgeous girls that throw themselves at him? Not to mention some pretty hot guys."
"I told you Tai," Yamato intoned, pitch weary, "Any one of them that takes your fancy, I'll set you up. Lord knows, you need all the help I can give you." Quick flash of a mischievious grin. "Has he had a significant other yet?"
"Nope." Maxi confirmed. "Not even one-nighters. Though to be fair, there have been some extremely yummy blokes chasing after him. Even Greol, at one point." I groaned, scarlet by now. "However, it was cause he thought Tai looked like he played rough."
Yamato almost screamed with laughter at that point. Regaining some control over himself he managed to throw in "Well, whenever we tustle he always ends up on top."
"Yama.." I growled into his hair.
Seif, wide eyed, stared between the two of us. "You.and.Ishida Yamato?"
"Screwed like rabbits all through highschool." Yamato told him dryly, watching Seif's goldfish impression. "or we would have done, except for the fact that we're just friends. Don't worry, I don't know if Tai likes to do it rough, and he has no first hand knowledge of my ice cream fetish bar watching me lick it slowly off my fingers." His voice had dropped and slowed to a seductive drawl, picking up my hand and running his pink tongue along my index finger, keeping eye contact with Seif all the time. Seif was almost hyperventilating. Yamato abruptly dropped my hand and switched back to his normal voice. "No, Maxi, we've never been anything more than friends."
"You guys just have a good dynamic, that's all."
We smiled at each other, and it struck me how I'd missed this: the easy companionship and comfortableness of just having him there, nestled into my arms and chattering happily to me about very little. It felt like we were back when we were eighteen and on the school ski trip; both of us had gone down with flu on the second day and spent three days solid curled up in an armchair, drinking hot chocolate, coughing occasionally, talking continually about everything and anything in life. It had been a few months after that that the Wolves got signed and he'd been off in a whirlwind of touring and recording and promoting and publicity while I went to study Literature and live it up as a student. And that was three and a half years ago. I'd qualified and was part way through my first novel while surviving on a mediocre columnists fee; he'd become an international superstar and teen pin-up. Sure, we'd seen each other, but I'd been wrapped up in my dissertation and he could only make flying visits. And I missed him.
"I miss you too." I blinked at him, repeatedly. He giggled again. It's weird, he's only just started doing that; giggling I mean. He always used to cover the fact that he laughed like a girl by just snickering but I guess he's relaxed far more now. I suppose that putting a front on for the world's media makes you care less around friends. "Don't look like so shocked, you baka. I'm not psychic: You just said you missed me.. Didn't you?" He looked worried and I smiled at him reassuringly.
"Of course I miss you. I was just. reminiscing. How long are you here for?" Suddenly the answer was very important. I needed him around for a little while; needed to talk to him properly and spend time with him.
He twisted round to face me, hands on the back of my neck and fixed me with angelic eyes. This time it's natural, and not designed to set me off kilter; a real Yamato expression, not one of his perfectly practiced photogenic poses that can fool pretty much everyone else. "Ah, been meaning to speak to you about that actually." He looks up at me through his long golden lashes and smiled almost shyly. "I was wondering, well, I'm here for a couple of weeks, finishing off some of the vocals for the third album. We're going to properly tour after that: even go to England and the States and basically I wanted to know if you'd like to come along too.?" I must have looked blank because he carried on, "I know you're working on your novel thingy and I know that you can take your laptop with you where ever you are and I thought maybe you'd like to see all these new places and maybe write a column for our website cause you're really good and I'd really like some companionship and-"
I cut of the stream of babble by laying a finger on his lips. "Yes, I'd love to come with you. That'd be bloody fantastic!" We grinned like maniacs and I kissed his forehead. "Oh, man! Fantastic! Are you sure it's okay? Your manager won't mind?" he looked a little sheepish. "Yama? What's the catch?"
Foreheads and noses touching, he fixed me with a worried look. "Don't laugh at me?" I shook my head minutely. "Well, umm, it's um, well, uh.. I uh, I kinda.I kind of. um, Ikindasaidthatyouweremyboyfriendtogethimtoletmebringyoualong." He blurted. And buried his face in my neck.
"Was that long stream of gabble something I was meant to understand?" I asked, noticing that we had attracted quite an audience, seeing as Yamato was almost entirely moulded to my chest as he straddled me, and I had been stroking his golden hair. I suppose we must've looked kind of strange, especially as Yamato was as famous as he was. "Oh, go watch a car crash or something," I told Maxi and Farell who were still laughing at me. "What were you saying, Yama-chan? Preferably slower this time."
Deep breath and a mumbled, though clearly pronounced, statement breathed onto my neck. "I kind of said that you were my boyfriend so that he would let me bring you along. Is that okay?"
My turn to laugh. "If it's okay with you, it's fine by me. Won't this ruin your reputation as a sex god?"
Nose screwed up in disgust. "It will keep the fan-vultures away though. And anyhow, most people guessed I was bisexual anyways.shit. I was going to break that to you a little more sensitively. I had a speech planned out and everything, and I'd wanted to tell you face to face-"
"Yama." I told him firmly, pulling his chin up so he had to look at me. "Sweetheart, I knew. I just wondered how long it'd be before you admitted it to yourself. C'mon, how many other guys do you know who cry at Titanic?"
Yamato punched me. "That does not make me gay! I'm just sensitive, okay?! Anyways, you don't and you bat for the other bloody team entirely."
"Least I'm not greedy." I teased, ruffling his hair. He gazed at me, suddenly serious.
"I just. well, I hope you don't think this is some kind of elaborately planned out seduction scene, or something stupid like that, that's all. I just get lonely on tour and you're my best friend."
"If it was an 'elaborately planned out seduction scene', I don't think Taichi's ever gonna get a better offer." Maxi told him grinning.
"Ishida Yamato." Seif added, still in a state of shock. "Ishida Yamato." He added, nodding at me.
Farell looked at the two of us with his penetrating gaze. "Hmm."
"Will you be staying with us for the next couple of weeks then?" Maxi asked.
Yama looked to me for confirmation. "If that's okay with everyone." Three nods and another 'Ishida Yamato' from Seif. "That'd be very cool. I'll make sure that I don't wake you by singing at five in the morning - I'll go for a walk or something."
"Still got that habit? I thought you'd worked yourself out of that one?" I asked, worried because I thought he'd grown out of his insomnia and this had been one of the most obvious symptoms.
"How would you know that?" Maxi asked slyly.
"Countless sleepovers where I was ready to ring his scrawny neck. So you still do it?"
"It's come back again. Left when I was sleeping with Lestat." I raised an eyebrow. He looked remotely embarrassed. "Lestat's my cat. Baka. Thought you'd a least remember the poor little kitten. But I can't take him on tour."
Maxi burst into laughter. "So let me get this straight: Taichi's a substitute cat!?" He grinned back at her. "Man, that's classic." She swooped and planted a kiss on his cheek. "I like you. I thought you were going to be a snob, or a complete slut the first time Taichi told me about you being who you are, but he was adamant you were a cool kid, and he's right. Should've known that Taichi doesn't just go for a pretty face - though of course you have that one down pat. I think it's going to be fun having you around for a while."
"Yeah, you're alright." Was all Farell had to say; pretty good going for someone who describes his girlfriend as 'wild' and wild alone. Not one for surplus adjectives is our Farell.
Seif smiled, and managed to say "Ishida Yamato" increduously one more time before following Maxi and Farell to get another drink. We looked at each other and cracked up.
"Yup, you've made a real impression there Yama-chan." I teased him. "If you'd wanted a pet, he's all there for the taking."
"Not my type." He threw back, diva style.
"Oh, and what, pray tell, is your type, oh my esteemed, sexy and picky pretty-boy." I asked, tickling him and watching his head fly back in laughter.
"God Tai," he wheezed. "Don't, okay? I'm waaaay too ticklish." I smiled and ignored him, knowing exactly where to aim for, loving the way that even squirming and hysterically laughing he had an innate sense of grace and dignity. That was right up until he decided to fight back, and then we were embroiled in yet another fight, limbs flailing, toppling off the chair. Just like old times except there were no fists or kicks delivered, just teasing hands and trailing fingertips that slowed as he traced them gently across my face. I laid there under him, breathing hard from the tickle fight, watching in fascination as he delicately stroked over my cheekbones and lips, before following those slender fingers with soft fairy kisses, light as air and just as elusive.
"I really did miss you, you know that don't you?" I whispered huskily, brushing my lips over his. "I wish you didn't-"
"Shhh." He told me, golden blonde hair closing off the outside world and mingling with my wild dark mess. "Will you promise we'll always stay like this?"
I sighed. "I can't make promises I don't know if I can keep, you know that Yama. And what happens when you find there's something and someone better than how we are now?"
He looked puzzled. "No-one's going to be better friend than my best friend. I just meant can we stay like this," he waved his hand expansively, "always?"
I rolled him off me, getting to my feet. "Maybe that's the point." I muttered. Glancing back at him looking up at me completely bewildered on his knees, I sighed again. "And maybe it's not such a great idea me touring with you. Maybe we. Look, we'll talk about it tomorrow, okay? I'm gonna go and ask Farell if he's ready to drive us home."
"Tai.?" Yamato called after me. I ignored him, just walked straight toward the kitchen and found Farell.
"Hey, is it okay if we go, guys? Sorry Meems, I'm really whacked; need to get some sleep." I lied.
"If anyone should be complaining about being tired it's Yama." I flinched.
Maxi fixed me with a worried look. "You okay Taichi? You look pale."
I shrugged. "I guess I've been over doing it a little. Need a rest, bit of time to myself, y'know?"
"You're not really going to have time to yourself, what with Yamato staying and all." Bugger. I'd forgotten about that. Him in my room, probably assuming he'd share my bed as always, there, twenty four seven. It suddenly felt claustrophobic.
"Look, it's not fair for me to drag you guys away; he hasn't seen any of the old gang for ages and you guys have only just started meeting people. I'll catch a train." I paid no attention to their protests. "It's a two minute walk. Even I can manage that."
"I'll come with you." I froze, my back seizing up. "The jetlag is starting to kick in now." His voice was icy, and he made no attempt to soften it. "To be honest with you, there's some things I have to sort out." He turned to Maxi. "I'm sorry, I won't be able to stay. I'm going to see TK for a couple of days, then I'm going back to the States. A few loose ends I'd forgotten about."
What? What the hell was going on here? I had my space, it seemed, but did I actually want it if Yamato wasn't even going to be remotely close? "Yama."
"No, you've made it perfectly clear that you don't want to see me." He hissed. "So I'm leaving. Happy?" the temperature in the room dropped by about sixty degrees.
"How the hell am I going to be happy without you?" I muttered, almost to myself, trying not to let the bitterness seep into my words.
"Taiiiiiiichi!" Greol called, completely hammered by now. He swept into the room, oblivious of the atmosphere, and latched onto me, long sucking kisses to my neck, hands groping and searching. "Taiiiiii, you can' leave now. Thing's jus' gettin fun. C'mon, Taii-shan, be nise. You've been playin wif tha' prety boy all nite," he shot a venomous glance at Yamato, "an' completely ignored me." Long lick from my jaw to my ear, and a seductive purr of a final comment, just to me."And it's not like he wants you, now is it?"
"No, I guess not," I said softly, allowing Greol to kiss me properly, attempting to loose myself in the taste of someone, anyone.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Yamato exploded, catching Greol with a mean right hook. He turned to me, almost at a loss for words. "You.He...What?" and then slapped me sharply. "You could've just fucking told me, you complete wanking twat." He spat, before turning away and stalking off to the balcony.
"And that would be why Yama-chan writes all our lyrics." Amiki deadpanned.
Toshim glared at me. Maxi, Farell, Seif and Mimi looked expectantly for some kind of explanation. And Greol commented from his position on the floor, "Blorry 'ell, shoulda picked 'im; sure seemsta like i' rough." He smiled up at me. "Wanna go screw koi?"
I hauled Greol to his feet, holding him up by his collar. "Nothing is ever going to happen between us. Nothing has ever happened between us. I don't want to screw you, I don't ever want to kiss you again, and I will never, ever, ever be your Koi. Do you understand?" He nodded. "Now, as for Yamato, you will also never make a pass at him, okay? If, by some miracle, I can persuade him to stay, you will keep entirely out of his sight; in fact it might be an idea to stay at Ziel's for a while. You know who I mean? Your patient boyfriend who loves you so much he's prepared to let you make out with random guys because he's scared of loosing you. He's a great guy, but he's not going to wait forever, and he won't forgive you forever either. And don't take advantage of people when they're vunerable. You'll have no friends left."
"Sorry, Tai-shan." And in a moment of rare soberness he added, "And I lied. It's obvious he wants you. I was just jealous."
"As nice as that would be, you were right the first time." I sighed, slumping down onto a chair. "No, we're 'best friends'. He doesn't want anything more than that. No 'elaborately planned seduction schemes' for me. And I'm going to go and apologise to him; hopefully keep the friendship as I can't loose that." I sounded resigned, even to myself. None of my usual confidence. Deflated. Empty. "Wish me luck," I joked, hollowly. I'll need it. I added grimly in my mind.
I found Yamato sitting with Seif, Ken and Daisuke. Glittery tracks down his cheeks gave away the fact that he'd been crying, but I would bet money that he'd stopped as soon as the other three arrived. Doesn't cry in front of people, still. But he looked like utter shit.
"He's not dating Greol. They never have done!" Daisuke was valiantly sticking up for me, trying as hard as he possible could. Ken was just stroking Yama's hands, compassionate as always.
Seif nodded, patting Yamato's shoulders. "Taichi hasn't dated. And Greol, well, he's just such a slut; he tries to take what he can whenever Taichi's left an opening, y'know, a weak spot. Never let him in before though. Funny that, Taichi's always been resolute that Greol would never touch him, and tonight, tonight he caved. Must've been the atmosphere."
"He just gave Greol such a bollocking. 'Nothing is ever going to happen between us. Nothing has ever happened between us. I don't want to screw you, I don't ever want to kiss you again, and I will never, ever, ever be your Koi.'" Daisuke mimicked me, down to a tee. "I've never seen him so pissed. And I'm sure he wants to go on tour with you. There must be some reason for him to say that he didn't."
"Hm."Yamato didn't sound overly convinced. "Why doesn't he want to stay my friend?"
"Did he say that?" Dais demanded.
Yamato gave a watery smile. "He wouldn't promise me."
I had to say something. Couldn't exactly leave it like that. "I'd promise you anything, but if you want to change your mind I won't be able to break that promise, and we'll both be hurt." Ken looked up as if he'd known all along that I was there. It being Ken, he probably had. "Don't go."
"If you're sure?" I could see we'd be discussing this, just not here, not now, not in front of them.
"I'm sure. Come on, we're both tired and," I wiped his eyes gently, "Far too emotional. Let's get you home. You haven't seen my new flat, have you?"
"There's a pool in the complex too!" Daisuke piped up, obviously trying to lighten the mood. "Surrounded by palm trees and bushes and shit, and there's these massive diving boards and even a slide! Hey, why don't you invite everyone over, and we could have a pool party."
I considered it, looking to Yama to gauge his reaction. "If Takeru and Kari can come, yeah, that's great. Listen, we're going to leave now, okay? Have fun kids."
*
We walked back from the train station in silence. Taichi had curled his arm around my shoulders as always and if I closed my eyes I could pretend that we were as we always had been and nothing had changed. Unfortunately, if I closed my eyes there was also the high probability of falling asleep.
"Hey, you." He teased, nudging me gently. "C'mon, we've just got to get in the lift and then we're back and you can sleep in a proper bed rather than on me."
Sounded like a good idea. The buzz my drinking had given me had worn off, and what with the combination of jetlag and slight depression because I knew that something was up with Taichi, sleep seemed like the best option. However, I must have dozed off on his shoulder because the next thing I knew Taichi was leading me through a darkened apartment.
"We here?" I asked drowsily, taking in the trademark mess that meant it had to be his room. Clothes strewn all over, desk taken up by stacks of scrawled notes and laptop balanced on the pillow of an extremely rumpled bed. A tiny room made to seem all the more smaller by the complete chaos. The walls were adorned with cult film posters: I recognised the early 'Clockwork Orange' print that I'd scoured Covent Garden market for before his last birthday. Moving his laptop to a slightly safer though still precarious position on top of a pile of papers, he settled me on the bed. "I don't have my stuff." I muttered, attention on the framed photo of me and Tai on his bedside table. I couldn't remember that one being taken though I remembered the actual event. It was Hikari's work of course. About a year and a half ago we'd been to a fund raising dinner and auction for something or other that Ken, a prominent human rights campaigner, was involved in; Daisuke managing as always to make the most of things had convinced the organisers to give us the best table as the combination of Ken and the lead singer of the Wolves would draw publicity, or so he said. I'd turned up with Tai, late as always, and it was only then as we walked through the long hall to the front that I realised everyone else had brought a date. The same thought had obviously occurred to Tai because he gave me a killer grin, grabbed my hand and we walked toward the table, gazing into each other's eyes and generally acting like a love struck couple, before collapsing together in our seats in a gale of laughter. It must have been at that moment that Hikari took the picture.
A pair of blue boxers hitting my face brought me out of my daydreaming. "Wear them," Taichi told me, taking the photo out of my hands and carefully laying it next to his laptop. I changed quickly and crawled under the sheets, surrounded by Taichi's unique smell. I wondered how long it had been since he changed his bedding but squelched the impulse to ask, berating myself for my anal tidyness.
He still hadn't joined me, and though I was starting to drop off to sleep I knew this wasn't right. I lifted the covers and held out a hand in invitation. "Tai-chan? Come to bed? Please, I want to sleep and it's cold." He smiled wryly, taking my hand and sliding in next to me. I curled around him, knowing from experience that a single bed meant that there was no extra space. Feet tangled together, his left hand in my hair and the right tracing patterns on my hip where the boxers had slipped down, I knew that we were going to be okay. No matter what was going on in the labyrinth he called a brain, we would be okay.
"You do realise how that sounded, don't you Yama-chan?" he whispered, warm breath in my ear. I chuckled lightly, lost in the feeling of home Taichi always managed to inspire. Stroking my hair he added, "I think your powers of seduction are running away with you." I snuggled in tighter, burying my nose in his neck, brushing a kiss on his collarbone as I did so. I felt the shudder it evoked, and the comment sank in. Tai thought I was seducing him? Or did he think that he was being seduced but that I wasn't in control? It was true, I guess, that only Taichi created a loss of self-possession in me. But no, he couldn't mean that. It was Taichi for crying out loud. Probably just the feeling of having someone in his bed had made him over sensitive, nothing to do with me.
"Good night, Taichi." I murmured, before giving in to impulse and brushing his lips gently with my own, a fleeting kiss. I caught his smile in the moonlight, and grinned back as he stroked my cheekbone.
"Sleep well Yama." He whispered back, tightening his hold on me as I returned to my position curled under his chin.
I was running late, as per usual, for Mimi's party. Now, for those of you uninitiated in the social rites of our little gang, Mimi needs no excuse to hold a party. It wasn't her birthday; it wasn't Christmas or New Year; it wasn't even a tenuous link to a saint's day which we've had in the past. So today, with no apparent reason for it, she was holding a party in her new flat. And no, for those of you jumping to conclusions, it wasn't a flat warming party. That was three Saturdays ago.
I have a bad habit of being continually an hour late for her gatherings. This mainly because I usually finish my work at exactly the same time as her parties start. Today however, it was even later than usual because I'd had a complete mental block on my column and even ended up making Farell drive over rather than taking a train, to save time. Maxi, my flatmate, had ironed my shirt for me while I showered and with the help of Seif and Farell, the other guys I share with, I looked remotely presentable. The four of us piled into Farell's car and bombed over, picking up Seif's friend Greol on the way. Maxi and Farell had met Mimi before; in fact she set them up and later introduced me to them when I was looking for someone to split the cost of a flat near my university, so they were looking forward to seeing her again. Seif, though having chatted to her over the phone on regular occasions, hadn't and was highly excited about meeting the woman who had designed his favourite make-up line. In fact, he was so excited about meeting her that his eyes were perfectly sparkly and pink shaded in her latest range.
So, with an hour drive compressed into twenty eight minutes exactly, We turned up on her doorstep and were greeted by the booming rock of some obscure ska punk band - a sure sign that Takeru and Daisuke were in the house - and rang the bell a couple of times. Then I banged loudly on it while Farell and Maxi creased in laughter. Swearing loudly, I hardly realised that the door was opening and almost punched the hostess herself as I went to bang some more.
"Taichi!!!" she squealed, kissing me on the cheek. "Darling, you made it! We'd almost given you up as lost! And you guys!!! Aww, you're such a cute couple. Greol, nice to see you again." Seif was almost hopping with excitement. I took pity on the poor guy.
"Meems, this is Seif." They looked at each other, before grinning widely and almost identically.
She clapped her hands and kissed him. "You've got the most beautiful bone structure! Have you ever considered modelling? Would you."
I hustled them in, shaking my head at Mimi's speed in ensuring that Seif would be modelling the next line of foundation and glitter for her. We were all handed shots as we came through the door, instantly swallowed, and followed up with a large pint glass of ice cold beer for me, more blue label vodka for the others; coke for Farell who didn't look impressed at having to stay sober. Nothing but the best at Mimi's. I waved to Sora and Jyou as I passed them, and found myself being swept up in a hug by Kari. "Hey Kid. How're you?"
Camera out and attention elsewhere she just smiled happily. "I'm great. And, uh, Me 'n Teeks, well, we've come to an agreement."
The blonde in question snuck up alongside her, slipping an arm around her waist. "We're getting married next May."
I elegantly snorted out the beer I'd been drinking through my nose. "Bloody Hell! Guys, that's fantastic. But, Bloody hell! You are sure about this?!" Two beaming, nodding heads. "Well, fuck me. Good luck." I was in a state of shock. "Wow. So, you've told-"
"Both sets of parents, you and Yamato. We wanted to make sure you guys are okay with it before telling everyone else." Takeru's eyes sparkled mischievously. "We're sure Meem's'll throw us an engagement party. Oh, and Dais knows. He's far more perceptive than anyone gives him credit for. He guessed instantly."
"Congratulations." Maxi told Hikari. "That's really cool." She turned on me. "And when are you going to settle down Mister? Your little sister's getting married and you're as single as ever." She teased. Farell ruffled my hair for her and Seif, Mimi, Hikari and Teeks didn't even attempt to quell their laughter. "In fact I've never seen you with a boyfriend."
I groaned. "Leave me alone! It's not my fault that I'm-"
"A complete weirdo?" A voice floated past my ear as warm, slender arms came around from behind me and golden silky hair brushed along my neck. "Aw, our eternal bachelor, are they taking the piss out of you?"
I twirled him around, allowing him to kiss me fleetingly on the lips and then hugging him tightly. "Yama-chan! I didn't know you were back!" He smiled at me, million watt beam and genuine happiness shimmering in his deep blue eyes.
"Got back about three hours ago. Jetlag's kicking in. The band are in there, chatting up the 'Talent' - well, Aimki is, I don't know about the others." He was slightly buzzed, I could tell. Yamato, normally, is one of those restrained people. Not frigid, no, never that, but you generally had to initiate the contact. And only when he was comfortable with you. I could put my arm round his shoulders; or ruffle his hair; or warm his hands when we walked; or hug him; but very rarely would he make any kind of attempt to instigate physical contact. The Ice Queen. That was the general tag his band had given him, and so had their fans. Didn't stop him from being one of the most lusted after performers on the rock scene. However, drunk, even slightly buzzed as he was that night, makes all his reservation melt away like ice cream on a warm summer's day. He kisses a lot: little butterfly kisses on friends faces and hands. Hugs come instantaneously and his extremely tactile and passionate nature shines through. I think he'd be like this all the time when he's deeply in love; hasn't happened yet that I know of. But whatever. One thing I will say for Yamato is that he makes a fantastic drunk.
"Why didn't you tell me you were going to be back, you baka!" I laughed as he attempted to look innocent, then gave up and pouted.
"I wanted it to be a surprise, so I busted a gut getting here only to find out that you were almost Two. Hours. Late." He punctuated each word with a kiss and a final growl on my neck. "But hey, I only cancelled a gig to come and see you."
Guilt trip successfully administered. "Yama, you didn't need to." I stroked his hair as he leant into my shoulder.
"And he didn't, so don't feel bad Taichi." Sapphire eyes glared at Toshim. "Aimki managed to damage his fingers, God alone knows how, and we had to cancel cause he couldn't play."
"Yeah, well, I was the one who bit them." Yamato declared huffily. "So technically, I was the one who got the gig cancelled. And I wouldn't have bitten him if I wasn't thinking of seeing Tai." He buried his face in my shoulder as the insanity of what he'd just said set in, along with the laughter of all us listeners.
"Thanks, I think." He tilts his face up to be kissed and I brush his nose, earning a soft giggle. So child-like when he wants to be, you'd never think that this slim, beautiful creature was a international superstar. "Great example to all those teenage fans of The Wolves... If in doubt: Bite. Way to go Ishida Yamato." I teased, tapping a fingertip on his lips.
"He's Ishida Yamato?! You know ISHIDA YAMATO?! Taichi!!! You never thought to tell me that you know The Ishida Yamato!" Seif wailed, proverbial light bulb suddenly clicking on. "You know Ishida Yamato!"
"And pretty intimately by the looks of things." Farell added wryly, taking in the snaked arm around his waist.
Hikari and Takeru burst into a gale of laughter at that. "This is my best friend." I explained. "And I have told you loads about him, just didn't want to make a big fuss out of him being a rock star. Lord knows, he makes a big enough deal out of it for both of us."
"He's still jealous." Yamato informed them loftily.
I mussed his hair for that one. It had gotten longer since the last time I'd seen him; curving under his chin, straight and free of gel. As blonde as ever though; some things never change. I still wonder if it's natural though. Oh well, doubt I'll ever find out. He sways a little under my hands. "C'mon, let's get you sat down, Singer boy."
"That's Mister Singer boy." He managed to choke out in a vaguely Pumbaa- esque voice before giggling again. I settled down in a large plush armchair and he perched on the armrest next to me. "But you can call me Yama-Chan." He whispered.
"Wouldn't have expected anything less." I whispered back, as he slid down onto my lap, wrapping his legs around my own. Comfortable at last, head resting on my shoulder as he's a great deal smaller than me now, and my arms pulled around his tiny waist so that he can play with my fingers, he returned to being the centre of attention. There were a great amount of girls who came over to ask him to dance, and he turned them away with a smile and a promise of something more hidden in those eyes. A good deal of gossiping and speculation and downright leering was directed toward him, and all the time he was wrapped up in some guys' arms. Mine, admittedly, but you would have though maybe some of them would have put two and two together and got seventeen.
Seif, bless him, was still staring at Yamato who for his part was batting his long eyelashes back at him in blatant flirt mode. "You told us about Yama, but you never deigned to mention he was so cute!"
I had to laugh at that one. "Seif, honey-"
"I'd fuck him." Greol added, smile resembling more of a smirk.
"Remember your boyfriend!" I admonished. "Ziel wouldn't be overtly pleased if you took him home."
"One night wouldn't make that much difference." Greol stood his ground resolutely, fuelled by a large amount of vodka now. "Ziel'd understand. It's an open relationship."
"And he's just so pretty." Seif added. "So.Pretty. How could anyone say no to someone that pretty?"
Yamato beamed. "I'm pretty?" Seif nodded. "I'm pretty." He informed me, smoothing down his hair. "Tai, can I drive your car now?"
"No," I told him absentmindedly, tucking an errant lock behind his ear.
"And that," He told Seif mournfully, big blue eyes wide and naive, "is how anyone can say no to someone as pretty as me."
"Baka! He meant how can anyone turn you down." Mimi explained.
Mischief radiated from every pore of Yamato. "Turn me down in what way?" he asked, innocence projected in every syllable. "What do you mean by that?"
"Play nice, Yama-chan." I murmured into his hair, and was rewarded with a playful nip to my jaw line.
"I am playing nice." He whispered back, unheard by the others. "Kind of. I could play nicer, I suppose." He considered this for a moment, head tilted to one side and pink tongue peeking out the corner of his mouth. "But I think I'll save that for you later, okay?"
"Deal." I agreed, and sat back to watch the insanity.
Mimi, for her part never the sharpest tool in the shed and now far more inebriated than Yamato, gamely tried to explain what she had meant. Yamato listened intently as she stumbled over analogies and euphemisms, greatly helped by the accidental innuendos and double entrées that spewed forth in the midst of her explanation. Daisuke and Ken had joined us by now and the red-head was 'helping' by attempting to mime what Mimi was describing on a now scarlet Ken, who retaliated with a left hook and an apologetic glance at his friend, who meekly settled next to him. As for us others, tears were rolling down my face, and no-one else was much better.
"OhMiGod, Taichi!" Maxi gasped out amid giggles, "You never told us how much of a blast these people are! And you guys managed to save the world?! How the hell?"
I grinned, not even bothering to attempt to speak. Yamato had been the only one not laughing throughout and it was only when Mimi came to a breathless halt that he reacted. Face perfectly straight and tone just a little incredulousness he commented in the resulting lull as we attempted to regain some dignity, "So what you're trying to say is that I can fuck anyone I ever want? Why didn't you just say that?"
Fresh flood of laughter, and a wry smile from Yama as he lent back into me, pleased with himself. "Not bad; deadpan delivery's getting better."
"Hmm." He agreed. "Needs more practice." We shared a grin, falling back into easy patterns.
"You know, you remind me of the babe." I told him, lightly tucking a blonde bang behind his ear.
He grinned at me, delighted, and countered, "What babe?"
"The babe with the power."
"What power?"
"The power of Voodoo."
"Who do?"
"You do."
"Do what?"
"Remind me of the babe."And we cracked up, cackling at the bewildered faces around us. "Mwah, David Bowie eat your heart out, babe." I crowed, planting a kiss on his cheek.
"Have you two ever dated?" Maxi asked, pouring herself the remainer of the wine, and pausing to give Farell a quick kiss before sitting down.
"No, never. We're friends. Wasn't ever going to happen. Besides, you think I'd get a look in with all the gorgeous girls that throw themselves at him? Not to mention some pretty hot guys."
"I told you Tai," Yamato intoned, pitch weary, "Any one of them that takes your fancy, I'll set you up. Lord knows, you need all the help I can give you." Quick flash of a mischievious grin. "Has he had a significant other yet?"
"Nope." Maxi confirmed. "Not even one-nighters. Though to be fair, there have been some extremely yummy blokes chasing after him. Even Greol, at one point." I groaned, scarlet by now. "However, it was cause he thought Tai looked like he played rough."
Yamato almost screamed with laughter at that point. Regaining some control over himself he managed to throw in "Well, whenever we tustle he always ends up on top."
"Yama.." I growled into his hair.
Seif, wide eyed, stared between the two of us. "You.and.Ishida Yamato?"
"Screwed like rabbits all through highschool." Yamato told him dryly, watching Seif's goldfish impression. "or we would have done, except for the fact that we're just friends. Don't worry, I don't know if Tai likes to do it rough, and he has no first hand knowledge of my ice cream fetish bar watching me lick it slowly off my fingers." His voice had dropped and slowed to a seductive drawl, picking up my hand and running his pink tongue along my index finger, keeping eye contact with Seif all the time. Seif was almost hyperventilating. Yamato abruptly dropped my hand and switched back to his normal voice. "No, Maxi, we've never been anything more than friends."
"You guys just have a good dynamic, that's all."
We smiled at each other, and it struck me how I'd missed this: the easy companionship and comfortableness of just having him there, nestled into my arms and chattering happily to me about very little. It felt like we were back when we were eighteen and on the school ski trip; both of us had gone down with flu on the second day and spent three days solid curled up in an armchair, drinking hot chocolate, coughing occasionally, talking continually about everything and anything in life. It had been a few months after that that the Wolves got signed and he'd been off in a whirlwind of touring and recording and promoting and publicity while I went to study Literature and live it up as a student. And that was three and a half years ago. I'd qualified and was part way through my first novel while surviving on a mediocre columnists fee; he'd become an international superstar and teen pin-up. Sure, we'd seen each other, but I'd been wrapped up in my dissertation and he could only make flying visits. And I missed him.
"I miss you too." I blinked at him, repeatedly. He giggled again. It's weird, he's only just started doing that; giggling I mean. He always used to cover the fact that he laughed like a girl by just snickering but I guess he's relaxed far more now. I suppose that putting a front on for the world's media makes you care less around friends. "Don't look like so shocked, you baka. I'm not psychic: You just said you missed me.. Didn't you?" He looked worried and I smiled at him reassuringly.
"Of course I miss you. I was just. reminiscing. How long are you here for?" Suddenly the answer was very important. I needed him around for a little while; needed to talk to him properly and spend time with him.
He twisted round to face me, hands on the back of my neck and fixed me with angelic eyes. This time it's natural, and not designed to set me off kilter; a real Yamato expression, not one of his perfectly practiced photogenic poses that can fool pretty much everyone else. "Ah, been meaning to speak to you about that actually." He looks up at me through his long golden lashes and smiled almost shyly. "I was wondering, well, I'm here for a couple of weeks, finishing off some of the vocals for the third album. We're going to properly tour after that: even go to England and the States and basically I wanted to know if you'd like to come along too.?" I must have looked blank because he carried on, "I know you're working on your novel thingy and I know that you can take your laptop with you where ever you are and I thought maybe you'd like to see all these new places and maybe write a column for our website cause you're really good and I'd really like some companionship and-"
I cut of the stream of babble by laying a finger on his lips. "Yes, I'd love to come with you. That'd be bloody fantastic!" We grinned like maniacs and I kissed his forehead. "Oh, man! Fantastic! Are you sure it's okay? Your manager won't mind?" he looked a little sheepish. "Yama? What's the catch?"
Foreheads and noses touching, he fixed me with a worried look. "Don't laugh at me?" I shook my head minutely. "Well, umm, it's um, well, uh.. I uh, I kinda.I kind of. um, Ikindasaidthatyouweremyboyfriendtogethimtoletmebringyoualong." He blurted. And buried his face in my neck.
"Was that long stream of gabble something I was meant to understand?" I asked, noticing that we had attracted quite an audience, seeing as Yamato was almost entirely moulded to my chest as he straddled me, and I had been stroking his golden hair. I suppose we must've looked kind of strange, especially as Yamato was as famous as he was. "Oh, go watch a car crash or something," I told Maxi and Farell who were still laughing at me. "What were you saying, Yama-chan? Preferably slower this time."
Deep breath and a mumbled, though clearly pronounced, statement breathed onto my neck. "I kind of said that you were my boyfriend so that he would let me bring you along. Is that okay?"
My turn to laugh. "If it's okay with you, it's fine by me. Won't this ruin your reputation as a sex god?"
Nose screwed up in disgust. "It will keep the fan-vultures away though. And anyhow, most people guessed I was bisexual anyways.shit. I was going to break that to you a little more sensitively. I had a speech planned out and everything, and I'd wanted to tell you face to face-"
"Yama." I told him firmly, pulling his chin up so he had to look at me. "Sweetheart, I knew. I just wondered how long it'd be before you admitted it to yourself. C'mon, how many other guys do you know who cry at Titanic?"
Yamato punched me. "That does not make me gay! I'm just sensitive, okay?! Anyways, you don't and you bat for the other bloody team entirely."
"Least I'm not greedy." I teased, ruffling his hair. He gazed at me, suddenly serious.
"I just. well, I hope you don't think this is some kind of elaborately planned out seduction scene, or something stupid like that, that's all. I just get lonely on tour and you're my best friend."
"If it was an 'elaborately planned out seduction scene', I don't think Taichi's ever gonna get a better offer." Maxi told him grinning.
"Ishida Yamato." Seif added, still in a state of shock. "Ishida Yamato." He added, nodding at me.
Farell looked at the two of us with his penetrating gaze. "Hmm."
"Will you be staying with us for the next couple of weeks then?" Maxi asked.
Yama looked to me for confirmation. "If that's okay with everyone." Three nods and another 'Ishida Yamato' from Seif. "That'd be very cool. I'll make sure that I don't wake you by singing at five in the morning - I'll go for a walk or something."
"Still got that habit? I thought you'd worked yourself out of that one?" I asked, worried because I thought he'd grown out of his insomnia and this had been one of the most obvious symptoms.
"How would you know that?" Maxi asked slyly.
"Countless sleepovers where I was ready to ring his scrawny neck. So you still do it?"
"It's come back again. Left when I was sleeping with Lestat." I raised an eyebrow. He looked remotely embarrassed. "Lestat's my cat. Baka. Thought you'd a least remember the poor little kitten. But I can't take him on tour."
Maxi burst into laughter. "So let me get this straight: Taichi's a substitute cat!?" He grinned back at her. "Man, that's classic." She swooped and planted a kiss on his cheek. "I like you. I thought you were going to be a snob, or a complete slut the first time Taichi told me about you being who you are, but he was adamant you were a cool kid, and he's right. Should've known that Taichi doesn't just go for a pretty face - though of course you have that one down pat. I think it's going to be fun having you around for a while."
"Yeah, you're alright." Was all Farell had to say; pretty good going for someone who describes his girlfriend as 'wild' and wild alone. Not one for surplus adjectives is our Farell.
Seif smiled, and managed to say "Ishida Yamato" increduously one more time before following Maxi and Farell to get another drink. We looked at each other and cracked up.
"Yup, you've made a real impression there Yama-chan." I teased him. "If you'd wanted a pet, he's all there for the taking."
"Not my type." He threw back, diva style.
"Oh, and what, pray tell, is your type, oh my esteemed, sexy and picky pretty-boy." I asked, tickling him and watching his head fly back in laughter.
"God Tai," he wheezed. "Don't, okay? I'm waaaay too ticklish." I smiled and ignored him, knowing exactly where to aim for, loving the way that even squirming and hysterically laughing he had an innate sense of grace and dignity. That was right up until he decided to fight back, and then we were embroiled in yet another fight, limbs flailing, toppling off the chair. Just like old times except there were no fists or kicks delivered, just teasing hands and trailing fingertips that slowed as he traced them gently across my face. I laid there under him, breathing hard from the tickle fight, watching in fascination as he delicately stroked over my cheekbones and lips, before following those slender fingers with soft fairy kisses, light as air and just as elusive.
"I really did miss you, you know that don't you?" I whispered huskily, brushing my lips over his. "I wish you didn't-"
"Shhh." He told me, golden blonde hair closing off the outside world and mingling with my wild dark mess. "Will you promise we'll always stay like this?"
I sighed. "I can't make promises I don't know if I can keep, you know that Yama. And what happens when you find there's something and someone better than how we are now?"
He looked puzzled. "No-one's going to be better friend than my best friend. I just meant can we stay like this," he waved his hand expansively, "always?"
I rolled him off me, getting to my feet. "Maybe that's the point." I muttered. Glancing back at him looking up at me completely bewildered on his knees, I sighed again. "And maybe it's not such a great idea me touring with you. Maybe we. Look, we'll talk about it tomorrow, okay? I'm gonna go and ask Farell if he's ready to drive us home."
"Tai.?" Yamato called after me. I ignored him, just walked straight toward the kitchen and found Farell.
"Hey, is it okay if we go, guys? Sorry Meems, I'm really whacked; need to get some sleep." I lied.
"If anyone should be complaining about being tired it's Yama." I flinched.
Maxi fixed me with a worried look. "You okay Taichi? You look pale."
I shrugged. "I guess I've been over doing it a little. Need a rest, bit of time to myself, y'know?"
"You're not really going to have time to yourself, what with Yamato staying and all." Bugger. I'd forgotten about that. Him in my room, probably assuming he'd share my bed as always, there, twenty four seven. It suddenly felt claustrophobic.
"Look, it's not fair for me to drag you guys away; he hasn't seen any of the old gang for ages and you guys have only just started meeting people. I'll catch a train." I paid no attention to their protests. "It's a two minute walk. Even I can manage that."
"I'll come with you." I froze, my back seizing up. "The jetlag is starting to kick in now." His voice was icy, and he made no attempt to soften it. "To be honest with you, there's some things I have to sort out." He turned to Maxi. "I'm sorry, I won't be able to stay. I'm going to see TK for a couple of days, then I'm going back to the States. A few loose ends I'd forgotten about."
What? What the hell was going on here? I had my space, it seemed, but did I actually want it if Yamato wasn't even going to be remotely close? "Yama."
"No, you've made it perfectly clear that you don't want to see me." He hissed. "So I'm leaving. Happy?" the temperature in the room dropped by about sixty degrees.
"How the hell am I going to be happy without you?" I muttered, almost to myself, trying not to let the bitterness seep into my words.
"Taiiiiiiichi!" Greol called, completely hammered by now. He swept into the room, oblivious of the atmosphere, and latched onto me, long sucking kisses to my neck, hands groping and searching. "Taiiiiii, you can' leave now. Thing's jus' gettin fun. C'mon, Taii-shan, be nise. You've been playin wif tha' prety boy all nite," he shot a venomous glance at Yamato, "an' completely ignored me." Long lick from my jaw to my ear, and a seductive purr of a final comment, just to me."And it's not like he wants you, now is it?"
"No, I guess not," I said softly, allowing Greol to kiss me properly, attempting to loose myself in the taste of someone, anyone.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Yamato exploded, catching Greol with a mean right hook. He turned to me, almost at a loss for words. "You.He...What?" and then slapped me sharply. "You could've just fucking told me, you complete wanking twat." He spat, before turning away and stalking off to the balcony.
"And that would be why Yama-chan writes all our lyrics." Amiki deadpanned.
Toshim glared at me. Maxi, Farell, Seif and Mimi looked expectantly for some kind of explanation. And Greol commented from his position on the floor, "Blorry 'ell, shoulda picked 'im; sure seemsta like i' rough." He smiled up at me. "Wanna go screw koi?"
I hauled Greol to his feet, holding him up by his collar. "Nothing is ever going to happen between us. Nothing has ever happened between us. I don't want to screw you, I don't ever want to kiss you again, and I will never, ever, ever be your Koi. Do you understand?" He nodded. "Now, as for Yamato, you will also never make a pass at him, okay? If, by some miracle, I can persuade him to stay, you will keep entirely out of his sight; in fact it might be an idea to stay at Ziel's for a while. You know who I mean? Your patient boyfriend who loves you so much he's prepared to let you make out with random guys because he's scared of loosing you. He's a great guy, but he's not going to wait forever, and he won't forgive you forever either. And don't take advantage of people when they're vunerable. You'll have no friends left."
"Sorry, Tai-shan." And in a moment of rare soberness he added, "And I lied. It's obvious he wants you. I was just jealous."
"As nice as that would be, you were right the first time." I sighed, slumping down onto a chair. "No, we're 'best friends'. He doesn't want anything more than that. No 'elaborately planned seduction schemes' for me. And I'm going to go and apologise to him; hopefully keep the friendship as I can't loose that." I sounded resigned, even to myself. None of my usual confidence. Deflated. Empty. "Wish me luck," I joked, hollowly. I'll need it. I added grimly in my mind.
I found Yamato sitting with Seif, Ken and Daisuke. Glittery tracks down his cheeks gave away the fact that he'd been crying, but I would bet money that he'd stopped as soon as the other three arrived. Doesn't cry in front of people, still. But he looked like utter shit.
"He's not dating Greol. They never have done!" Daisuke was valiantly sticking up for me, trying as hard as he possible could. Ken was just stroking Yama's hands, compassionate as always.
Seif nodded, patting Yamato's shoulders. "Taichi hasn't dated. And Greol, well, he's just such a slut; he tries to take what he can whenever Taichi's left an opening, y'know, a weak spot. Never let him in before though. Funny that, Taichi's always been resolute that Greol would never touch him, and tonight, tonight he caved. Must've been the atmosphere."
"He just gave Greol such a bollocking. 'Nothing is ever going to happen between us. Nothing has ever happened between us. I don't want to screw you, I don't ever want to kiss you again, and I will never, ever, ever be your Koi.'" Daisuke mimicked me, down to a tee. "I've never seen him so pissed. And I'm sure he wants to go on tour with you. There must be some reason for him to say that he didn't."
"Hm."Yamato didn't sound overly convinced. "Why doesn't he want to stay my friend?"
"Did he say that?" Dais demanded.
Yamato gave a watery smile. "He wouldn't promise me."
I had to say something. Couldn't exactly leave it like that. "I'd promise you anything, but if you want to change your mind I won't be able to break that promise, and we'll both be hurt." Ken looked up as if he'd known all along that I was there. It being Ken, he probably had. "Don't go."
"If you're sure?" I could see we'd be discussing this, just not here, not now, not in front of them.
"I'm sure. Come on, we're both tired and," I wiped his eyes gently, "Far too emotional. Let's get you home. You haven't seen my new flat, have you?"
"There's a pool in the complex too!" Daisuke piped up, obviously trying to lighten the mood. "Surrounded by palm trees and bushes and shit, and there's these massive diving boards and even a slide! Hey, why don't you invite everyone over, and we could have a pool party."
I considered it, looking to Yama to gauge his reaction. "If Takeru and Kari can come, yeah, that's great. Listen, we're going to leave now, okay? Have fun kids."
*
We walked back from the train station in silence. Taichi had curled his arm around my shoulders as always and if I closed my eyes I could pretend that we were as we always had been and nothing had changed. Unfortunately, if I closed my eyes there was also the high probability of falling asleep.
"Hey, you." He teased, nudging me gently. "C'mon, we've just got to get in the lift and then we're back and you can sleep in a proper bed rather than on me."
Sounded like a good idea. The buzz my drinking had given me had worn off, and what with the combination of jetlag and slight depression because I knew that something was up with Taichi, sleep seemed like the best option. However, I must have dozed off on his shoulder because the next thing I knew Taichi was leading me through a darkened apartment.
"We here?" I asked drowsily, taking in the trademark mess that meant it had to be his room. Clothes strewn all over, desk taken up by stacks of scrawled notes and laptop balanced on the pillow of an extremely rumpled bed. A tiny room made to seem all the more smaller by the complete chaos. The walls were adorned with cult film posters: I recognised the early 'Clockwork Orange' print that I'd scoured Covent Garden market for before his last birthday. Moving his laptop to a slightly safer though still precarious position on top of a pile of papers, he settled me on the bed. "I don't have my stuff." I muttered, attention on the framed photo of me and Tai on his bedside table. I couldn't remember that one being taken though I remembered the actual event. It was Hikari's work of course. About a year and a half ago we'd been to a fund raising dinner and auction for something or other that Ken, a prominent human rights campaigner, was involved in; Daisuke managing as always to make the most of things had convinced the organisers to give us the best table as the combination of Ken and the lead singer of the Wolves would draw publicity, or so he said. I'd turned up with Tai, late as always, and it was only then as we walked through the long hall to the front that I realised everyone else had brought a date. The same thought had obviously occurred to Tai because he gave me a killer grin, grabbed my hand and we walked toward the table, gazing into each other's eyes and generally acting like a love struck couple, before collapsing together in our seats in a gale of laughter. It must have been at that moment that Hikari took the picture.
A pair of blue boxers hitting my face brought me out of my daydreaming. "Wear them," Taichi told me, taking the photo out of my hands and carefully laying it next to his laptop. I changed quickly and crawled under the sheets, surrounded by Taichi's unique smell. I wondered how long it had been since he changed his bedding but squelched the impulse to ask, berating myself for my anal tidyness.
He still hadn't joined me, and though I was starting to drop off to sleep I knew this wasn't right. I lifted the covers and held out a hand in invitation. "Tai-chan? Come to bed? Please, I want to sleep and it's cold." He smiled wryly, taking my hand and sliding in next to me. I curled around him, knowing from experience that a single bed meant that there was no extra space. Feet tangled together, his left hand in my hair and the right tracing patterns on my hip where the boxers had slipped down, I knew that we were going to be okay. No matter what was going on in the labyrinth he called a brain, we would be okay.
"You do realise how that sounded, don't you Yama-chan?" he whispered, warm breath in my ear. I chuckled lightly, lost in the feeling of home Taichi always managed to inspire. Stroking my hair he added, "I think your powers of seduction are running away with you." I snuggled in tighter, burying my nose in his neck, brushing a kiss on his collarbone as I did so. I felt the shudder it evoked, and the comment sank in. Tai thought I was seducing him? Or did he think that he was being seduced but that I wasn't in control? It was true, I guess, that only Taichi created a loss of self-possession in me. But no, he couldn't mean that. It was Taichi for crying out loud. Probably just the feeling of having someone in his bed had made him over sensitive, nothing to do with me.
"Good night, Taichi." I murmured, before giving in to impulse and brushing his lips gently with my own, a fleeting kiss. I caught his smile in the moonlight, and grinned back as he stroked my cheekbone.
"Sleep well Yama." He whispered back, tightening his hold on me as I returned to my position curled under his chin.