I can't believe you wanted this, Kylie. ._.
"Okay…that got out of hand."
_-
"DUDE. COME ON BRO. LIKE, CHILL OUT."
"TELLING ME TO 'CHILL OUT' IN THAT HITROCIOUS EXCUSE FOR ENGLISH THAT YOU USE? THAT'S BLOODY DISCRACEFUL! HOW COULD I EVER 'AVE RAISED A WANKER LIKE YOU?"
The screams erupted from America's kitchen, a plate of smashed scones on the floor. The date was July 4th to be exact, and it was always a rough day for both parties. America was proud and Britain was bitter, the opposite attitudes creating tension in the house. Since their on-again off-again relationship was in the "on" position, this made the fight ten times worse.
"HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT? AT LEAST I DON'T COOK HORRIBLY AND TALK TO IMAGINARY CREATURES IN MY SPARE TIME."
"WHAT? AT LEAST I DON'T GO AROUND ALL THE TIME EATING BURGERS LIKE A FATASS. "OH, LOOK AT ME. I'M THE HERO. I ALWAYS BUTT INTO EVERYONE'S FUCKING BUSINESS." England's voice spit out like venom as he screamed the last line, his thick eyebrows bunching together.
Tony was in the other room, and he was cringing under a book. He had never heard his best friend like this, and wanted to go see if they were okay. Waddling to the doorway, he cocked his grey head and looked at them with wide eyes. "Fu…fuck-king? Fuck….fuck-king?"
Luckily, the two blonde men in the kitchen didn't hear the alien, and thus couldn't take out their anger on him. "OOH, LOOK AT ME. I'M SUCH A GENTLEMAN. I DRINK TEA AND EAT SCONES AND HOLD MY PINKY UP LIKE THIS." He held it up in mocking and continued with his ranting. "WELL YA KNOW WHAT, YO? MAYBE YOU SHOULD SHUT UP SOMETIME AND START BEING A DECENT HUMAN BEING, INSTEAD OF JUST A PUNK."
Arthur's eyes started to well up with tears. In a moment of passion, Alfred had once said that his punk side was what made him attracted to the other in the first place. "WELL, MAYBE YOU SHOULD BLOODY GIT OUT OF HERE. GO FIND GERMANY. MAYBE HE'S A DECENT ENOUGH HUMAN BEING FOR YOU." They stayed in the corners of his eyes though, refusing to fall. That would be completely weak, and he wouldn't show that in front of America.
"FINE. I WILL." America retorted, turning around. "HE'S DAMN PROUD THAT I GAINED INDEPENDENCE. LIKE, THIS IS THE REASON I SEPARATED FROM YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE, ASSHOLE." And with a turn of his back, three steps, and a slam of the door, America left his own house. Britain sat in silence for a second, the house eerily quiet. With America around, not a single moment was completely without sound. Sitting down at America's place at the kitchen table, he buried his face in his arms and started to cry, shoulder's shaking with every burst.
"England, that dude. I mean, what's his deal, yo? Even as the leader of the Axis, I'm sure Germany is better than him." He hopped a fence, not needing a car. Since this was America, he knew exactly where to go. His strength in finding his way around his own country almost made up for the fact that he didn't know where any other country was. "He's staying in town, and like, Britain must be jealous. I don't even know why, but I deserve the best! Not that old UK. I'm the hero, after all, and the hero always wins in the end!" The smile was back on his face as he raced to the hotel Germany was staying at, flinging open the door.
"America, vat are you doing here? It's like 1 in ze morning. Don't you have a Britain to attend to?" Even though America and England thought they were keeping it quiet, their relationship was well known by everyone.
"Hey dude! Turns out that me and Britain are like, totally fighting again. Who knew. So, anyways, I'm here to have sex with you! Because who doesn't want the hero?" He laughed confidently, Germany looking at him in horror. "But I don't van-" His words were cut off by America strapping a ball gag onto his mouth, a grin on his face.
"Italy told me how you loved BDSM. So, I made sure to figure out where you kept your stuff, like just in case!" His hand had slipped under Germany's mattress when the other wasn't looking, grabbing multiple toys. America's hands held two pairs of furry handcuffs, and Ludwig was bright red. No one was supposed to know about this. Italy only found out because he was the bottom, and the blonde had been the one to take the brunette's virginity.
His wrists were cuffed to the bed and he spoke with fury. "VAT ARF OU DOIF, ET E OU OV ERE." (What are you doing? Get me out of here.) Yet, Germany was turned on. His pants growing tighter and tighter as time went on, oddly turned on. Usually being the seme, it was…different being a uke for a change.
America saw this and decided to take advantage. With one swift move, Germany was stripped from the waist down, his manhood sticking straight up in the air. America grinned, panting slightly. Sure this wasn't his usual, but it didn't matter. It wasn't Britain, and that's what he needed. Crawling over to a pants-less Germany, his blue eyes glittered, and he kissed the ball that was being held in Germany's mouth.
Alfred shimmied off his pants and boxers, himself just as long as Germany. Aligning himself with Germany's ass, he managed to decipher a question from the uke in the situation. "If I let you do this to me now, will you let me do it to you later?" It was unintelligible mumbles to anyone but his partner.
"Nah, dude." He said with a smile. "If I fuck you, that's proving my dominance as the alpha dog, woof! But if you do it to me, well that's just gay." He brought his hips back and was just about to thrust when,
BOOM. A car crashed into the west wall of the hotel, and England hopped out. "America, you're coming back with me. I came here to git you, love, and that's that."
Seeing his real love, America blinked twice, nodding. "I'm really sorry about what happened, Britain. I know I was acting childish and things got out of ha-." He was cut off by the man in all green. "No fair! It's /my/ job to be the mature one!"
"Dude, relax. I'm just saying I'm sorry, and I wanna come back with you, yo." Alfred grabbed his pants, not bothering to put them on, and placed a kiss on Britain's cheek. "Don't worry, we didn't do anything, my Britain. I tied 'im up and like, that was it." Not seeing a mess, England bobbed his head in an uneven manner. "'s coolllllllllll, Americaaaa. I mean, fight's a figh, bu….t's over now." His words started fading at weird times, and America helped him back into the car. "Man, like, are you drunk yo?"
"NOOOOO. I 'AD 'ALF A SHOT, AND YOU KNOW I CAN 'OLD MY LIQUOR BETTER 'HAN ANYONE." America just nodded, not wanting to upset his lover in a drunken phase. "Okay, okay."
He placed Britain in the passenger's seat and jumped into the driver's seat himself. Waving at Germany, who was still cuffed to the bed pants-less, he backed up the car and drove away into the night, ready to go back to his house.
Germany still struggled to get out of the chains that kept him bound to the bed. Grunts could be heard from his room as he attempted to break the metal cuffs off the posters of the bed, to no success. A knock on the door and Italy walked in without any warning. "Hey Germany? I had a bad dream, and it involved ca-…" Italy opened his eyes and a childish smile spread across his face. "Germany! You-a never told me it was playtime! Now I can show you all-a the things I want to do!" As he jumped on the bed with a tied up Germany, the strict blonde man's long scream of "" could be heard clearly, even through the ball gag that sat in his mouth.