Reflections of the Water
G
From Sai's POV
We're here again. At the Ocean. It's been a year since Suzunagi visited us. Oh, I'm going to fight if necessary. The question is: when? I'm smiling on the outside, but on the inside I'm trembling.
"Sai, what's bothering you?" Rowen asks me.
"Oh, the usual," I reply. Even though I smile, they can see my fear in my eyes. My eyes were always like two pools of water that reflect my soul perfectly.
"It's gonna be tough with college and all."
"Yeah, and jobs too." What about families? Are we meant to stay bachelors all our lives? That was not what I had planned. The armors and their need for battle affect so many different things. I will fight again if necessary. Too many people have died for us.
"Sai, why are you worrying? I don't understand."
I think that question is on everyone's minds. I think Rowen is a little upset with me. Today is one of the few days in which we get to hang together and have fun. Because Rowen is one of my friends, he worries about me when I worry. My friends get a part of their happiness from my happiness. They want to enjoy this day, but my mood is pulling everyone down.
"Oh, I'll be fine," I tell him, and that conversation drops.
Now, Sage returns, having freed himself from a crowd of women. Poor Sage . . . He looks at my expression and starts asking me if I remembered to bring everything and if I would get some stuff for him from the vendors. Those questions seem to last quite a while. I feel better though, knowing everything is all set. For the next half hour, Rowen, Sage, and my self watch Kento teach Ryo how to surf. Sage is clearly amused. You can tell by the little smirk on his face. Rowen is also amused. He laughs openly. I just smile weakly.
"You were great," I tell Kento when they come back to shore. "I think you took extra surfing lessons without me."
"How come you're not surfing?"
"I just . . . I just don't feel like it." Not after last time . . . Why should we be allowed to have fun when we are going to fight again eventually?
Kento frowns slightly.
A little ways down the beach, Rowen calls out, "Hey, Kento! You wanna come help us carry all the food we're gonna get?" Ryo is standing next to him.
So, I'm left next to Sage. I sigh and stare out at the ocean. I wonder how everyone else is able to continue living while I remain stuck in the past and fearful of the future. They enjoy life, not letting anything bother them. They rarely let their grades slip. They rarely found themselves paralyzed with sudden fright. Why do battles not bother them as much as I am bothered?
"Nature is beautiful," Sage speaks up. "It knows when to be fierce and when to be serene. Everything is in order. If nature were constantly fierce or constantly serene, it would lose its beauty. Just like the various emotions, there must be moments of each to appreciate what we have in front of us."
"Yeah," I mutter. I think about what he said. Sage usually does not speak unless he has something important to say. Nature was one of the things we protected against Talpa.
Once the others return, Kento returns and begins playing with his food. He makes quite a fool of himself, I must admit. There are numerous jokes about his eating habits. Kento is certainly not a fool, but he certainly seems to want to be portrayed that way.
After we're finished eating, I talk with Ryo alone.
"Sai, what's wrong? Everyone is worried about you. We're all trying to help, but-"
"It's today," I confess. "Today is wonderful, but it'll never last. I'm worried that something horrible will happen."
"Sai . . . days never last. They always come and go. It's why people must enjoy the good times while they're here. It's why people need to stop letting the bad times bother them. There will bad days and good days. Days never last, and there is always a new day."
Finally, I realize the answers to my questions. My friends knew this all along. The battles never bothered them so much because my friends knew those battles would soon be over. They had faith in the end, and their endless strength during battle was a result of their faith. Faith is a precious gift that must never be broken. My friends all tried to make me feel better in their own way. Rowen wanted me to see the logic in enjoying each moment of life. Sage told me in his own way that there is a time for happiness and a time for frustration. To be constantly happy or to be constantly frustrated is to be out-of-balance and ruinous. Kento prevented me from worrying for a short while. He makes a fool of himself so that I could have someone to laugh at to push aside my sorrows for a while. Then, Ryo with his natural wisdom . . . My friends care about me, and they do their best to help me in their own different ways. If I let myself enjoy this day, then I would feel better, and I would show my friends my appreciation for their concern. After all, why dwell on sorrows when happiness is in front of us?