Madness: The fic has begun! At last was shall take you on the wild ride of marysueness!
Manipulation: We'll go ahead and say that this may be sickening to read for mary sue haters but also funny so delight in the fact that we'll eventually kill this mary sue.
Madness: If you happen to not like marysue bashing: First of all go plunge your head in some ice water
Manipulation: And second don't read this fic! Common sense people!
Madness: Now without further ado let's begin!
Manipulation: R&R!
"Bored, bored, bored" Maddie chanted banging her head repeatidly on random hard objects amongst my room.
"Really I would never guess." Erin rolled her eyes.
"So what? Are you planning to get rid of the boredom by giving yourself brain damage?" Zeb raised an eyebrow.
"Yes" Maddie hissed in between head bangs.
"Pipe down will ya?" I growled at my friends. "You especially Maddie. I don't wan't my parents to think we're destroying the furniture."
"Well aren't you miss sympathetic." Maddie plopped down on my bed moodily.
"Of course I am." I grinned.
"Aimee sympathetic?" Erin raised an eyebrow.
Zeb held back a snigger.
"Oh shut up." I muttered "Though you have a point."
My four friends and I were sitting in my room... bored if you didn't pick that up. We had just finished watching the final episode of Fullmetal Alchemist. Now the series was over... and our life purpose had flown out the window. So here we were in my room with nothing to do and with an hour of time left ahead of us.
Ugh! My ADD mind can't handle boredom for that long! Must do something random!
Hi I'm Aimee. My friends, Zeb Maddie and Erin, are the only ones I can be myself around without accumilating a substansial ammount of stares and causing people to back away slowly (or quickly if I'm being really wierd). All of us are drawn together by are quirks and our love of Fullmetal Alchemist.
Maddie is short, a pipsqueak, a shrimp, a midget, a dwarf, an elf, ect. take your pick. She's also a chatter box, a singing box and has an obsession with just about every hot male character in FMA. (Ed, Mustang, Scar ect.)
Zeb is a giant with a thing for manipulating others (in paticular gulible teachers) into thinking he's innocent and cares about everything you say. Don't be fooled. He's EVIL!!!... ish.
Erin is a genius, a walking encyclopedia with a photographic memory. She's the sanest one of our group and is the only one with a real grasp on the subject opf logic and common sense. She has a devious mind and we believe that is secretly the leader of the mafia (shhh! Don't tell!)
I'm the most sadistic crazy one in the group with a knife fettish and a thing for lieing, stealing and tricking people. What can I say? It's a gift. I have no set of morals really... at all. I think they abandon me when I was five. I've got a knack for deviousness but not much of a care for academics (I cheat on everything anyway)
So there you have us! We're about as crazy as they come.
I was sitting at my desk tapping on a blank sheet of paper as my friends argued about the best cures for boredom. I wanted to write something but I wasn't sure what... something to do with FMA... but I had writers block which is the worst feeling of all time. Almost as bad as writing an unintensional mary sue.
Oh that's the other thing that all of us share in common: Our hate of marysues. They are the epitimy of all perfection and deserve to die a slow and painful death. I want to kill every last one of them till they're deadeth! I-...hmmm...kill...
...grin...
"Idea!" I announced.
"Tell us more" Maddie demanded popping up from her lethargic state on the bed.
"Ok well we hate marysues right?"
A chourus of groans and choice curse words answered my question.
"Right so why don't we create a marysue? The most revoltingly perfect character the literary world has ever known... and then kill her off in the most painful way possible!" I grinned sadisticly.
...
"Awesome let's do it!"
"I'm up for murder!"
"I love marysue bashing!"
...yep those are my friends!
Everyone clustered around my desk as I set my pen to the paper "So what first?"
"Let's start from the name and then go from there." Erin suggested. "The first name has to suggest innocence and perfection."
Erin is great at breaking down marysue names.
"Let's name her after our least favorite marysue Arya!" Zeb smiled evily.
"But change the speeling" Maddie put in.
"Right so we can still say we're somewhat creative" I wrote down the name "A-R-I-A. Aria. Great what next?"
"Well she needs to have two middle names since one isn't enough" Erin said "Something sugesting... beauty."
"Esmerelda" Maddie suggested "It seems all princess like."
"Aphrodite" Zeb said "That's the goddess of love right?"
"Arie Esmerelda Aphrodite" I wrote down the name "Loathsome indeed. Last name?"
"Something that sugests she's still tough and is a good fighter" Erin said firmly.
"Something dramatic" Maddie said... dramaticly.
"Something to do with night" Zeb nodded.
"Nightshade" I announced. "Aria Esmeralda Aphrodite Nightshade."
We all shuddered in unison.
"Just the name is awful" Maddie whispered.
"I can't wait to kill her!" Zeb hissed excitedly.
...Yeah we have no lives can you tell?
We spent the next thirty minutes creating her physical atributes, personality and anxiety back story. Finally when front and back of the page was filled with as much marysueness as it could hold...
"And done" I finished the last sentence.
Then the lights when out.
Madness: Lot's of marysueness in the next chapter
Manipulation: Even more than the name suggests
Madness: Which is saying alot
Aria: And you get to meet m-"
Madness and Manipulation: AUGH! (shoot with gun) NOT YET!
Aria: I repel you with my singing!
Madness: RUN!
Manipulation: And Review while you're at it!