*Tiny edit*: This story has jost got over a thousand hits so I felt the need to thank you all so much for reading!

"So Marimo, tell me, why are you even more grumpy than usual"

"What's it to you, curly-brow?" Zoro growled at the blond sitting across from him at the wooden table.

They had been partying again on Luffy's behalf, though for what reason exactly neither of them could really remember. Chopper, Luffy and Usopp had been so energetic during the feast and giddy when Franky had brought out his new invention that allowed them to have a small bonfire on the deck of the ship, though for once the crew was not really impressed because this extravagant new invention was nothing more than a giant pan on steel legs. The effect it had, though, was not lessened by its simplicity. All of them except for Robin and Zoro, as usual, had been singing and dancing around the fire enjoying the cheerful music Brook was playing alternately on the piano, they had brought outside and his violin; once in a while accompanied by Franky's guitar. Everyone had had a wonderful time and after Luffy and the two other younger boys had practically passed out on the lawn the rest of the crew had decided to head to bed with Brook and Franky making sure that the three fast-asleep party animals were brought beneath deck to recuperate some energy, which left Zoro and Sanji sitting at the small table that Sanji had used to lay out the buffet. This would happen quite often at the end of nights like these. Both of them were young men in their prime and liked a bit of a binge once in a wile. Naturally they had been drinking throughout the feast, sake and different wines respectively; but at some point when they were alone Sanji would whip out a bottle of some expensive whisky that he would keep for occasions like these.

Watching Zoro poring himself another glass Sanji tried again to strike up a conversation with the stoic swordsman. "Come on, algae head, somethings got your panties in a bunch usually talking about it helps...apparently" he added, knowing perfectly well he wouldn't be to inclined to share, either, but he was bored and Zoro really had been in an even worse mood than usual in the past couple of weeks.

"Get off my fucking case, ero-cook" the swordsman growled and downed his drink.

"You want me to guess?"

"No" Zoro stated, but was ignored.

"Someone scratch your swords?"

Silence.

"You lose to someone? I mean other than me."

More silence.

"Is Chopper not letting you train as much as you'd like?" That at least earned him a reaction in the form of a snort that indicated to him that this was in fact frustrating the ever active swordsman but it still didn't feel like he had found the cause of his miserable mood.

"Oh I know, you have girl troubles!"

The slightest hint of a blush.

Wait, what?

Sanji had merely been joking, taking a stab at Zoro PMSing or something along those lines but apparently now he was actually on to something.

"Hold on, you didn't fall in love or anything. Because that would be hilarious after all the times you've made fun of me for being a romantic considerate prince..."

He was harshly interrupted in the middle of his self-praising by a loud "Tch, what do you think?"

Apparently not.

In a rare attempt of using his own logic on the swordsman he tried one last time.

"You horny or something?"

There it was again, the faint blush, and now the other man even seemed to be squirming in his seat.

"And if I was it'd be none of your business, shit cook!" Zoro ground out, clearly uncomfortable.

Lazily pulling out and lighting a cigarette with a smug smile, Sanji started lightly chuckling.

"Ah, but Marimo head, I make it my business. I know all about the beautiful ladies and their needs, so you've come to the right address!"

"Firstly, cook, I never came to you and I'm certainly not having you meddle with my..." he cleared his throat and muttered "sex-life and secondly," now back to old form "judging by those mags our rubbery captain found under your bunk the other day you're most likely desperate for something real yourself, so stop going around wanting to give me tips!"

Anger immediately flared up in the cook. What was the shitty swordsman thinking? Firstly those were high class and artistic photographs of elegant women and secondly the Marimo had just more or less admitted that he was in just as desperate a state as Sanji was himself.

A very curious idea crept into his mind and the fact that he was actually thinking of doing that surprised him enough to extinguish his anger.

"You know..." he tried but really didn't know how to go about suggesting what he was just thinking and whether it wasn't a better idea to just drop it altogether...but he really could use a little release.

Zoro fixed a glare on the cook but didn't say anything, which was his most polite way of indicating that he was listening.

Interesting Sanji thought the Marimo seems desperate. That realisation increased his courage and he went about relaying his plan to the green-haired man sitting across from him.

"You know, we could work together on this. I mean..." He took another sip of his whisky trying to find the right words but was interrupted by Zoro.

"What? You wanna fuck me?" He deadpanned and only just managed to evade the spray of liquor coming from the cooks mouth.

Sanji coughed and spluttered until he could finally catch enough breath to snarl at his crew mate.

"No, you stupid idiot, I meant in a wing-man kind of way. Ugh, now I've got that mental image in my head, thanks a ton!" he shivered while glaring at Zoro.

The other man just shrugged.

"Wouldn't have done it anyway. I'm not that desperate!"

"Well, neither am I. And I'm really regretting even bringing the whole thing up!"

Sanji was seething and Zoro was poring another glass for himself and the cook when he broke the silence that had ensued.

"So, this wing-man thing, if we were to do it, how would we go about it?"

Sanji looked up disbelievingly but Zoro actually seemed serious.

"Have you ever done anything like that before?" Sanji at least knew more or less what to do, after all the one or the other time when he and some of the younger cooks on the Baratie had ventured to the closest shore for supplies, they would also use the opportunity to chat up some local girls. But the marimo looked pretty uneasy which made Sanji think that he probably never had any such experience.

"When I was travelling with Yosaku and Johnny we did go to the one or the other place and tried our best, but apparently I look to intimidating and the other two goons weren't too popular, either!"

"Obviously..." Sanji sighed, this wasn't going to be easy. "Have you ever considered not scowling at anything living like you were imagining what it'd be like to disembowel them. I can't picture any woman going for that"

"Che, it should work! I thought the tarts dig bad guys."

Sanji could already feel his eye twitching but decided to try and be civil with the ignorant algae head because after all it was hopefully going to serve a higher cause.

"Firstly, they don't like to be called tarts! And secondly there's a major difference between a bad guy and a mad-serial-killer-dangerous guy!"

"Pff!" Zoro leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms but didn't argue, which Sanji took as a consent to the plan.

"So are you with me? Next time we hit a port you won't just wander off and drown yourself in booze but you'll come with me to something a little more classy and we'll find ourselves some beautiful women!"

"Yeah, whatever!"

Sanji grinned and could have been hallucinating but he was sure he saw the corners of Zoro's mouth were also twitching upwards.

AN: I sat down to write an essay on Philosophy of mind and this is what came out, ah the curse of procrastination! It's exceptionally stupid but it just crept up on me and I might not be able to write anything philosophical unless I get it out of my system! I more or less know where I'm going with it. The next chapters will certainly be more...ahm adult themed and I will be putting our two heroes in embarrassing situations^^