'Now I have to start thinking on a good lie' I whispered to myself whereas I stood outside my brother's home, staring at the shadows inside of the 4th window at the right side of the building, dancing the life dance.

'hey Coop, I was in the neighbours and I thought about saying hi?' Yeah . Right.

Newcastle its two hours and a half away from Ohio. And for a fourteen years old end up in there in the middle of the night, by himself. With a stupid lie. Coop is not stupid, won't fall for that.

'What about a quick baseball match?' No. No. No. That's pathetic.

I bit my lower lip, and I felt a shiver run over my spine.I put my tongue on it and felt the metallic taste of blood fill my mouth."Ouch!" I groaned, taking my hands to my lips.I lowered my sight to my arms. It was covered with ugly purple blurs and red mark spots everywhere. My hands weren't in a better state. Dry blood beneath my nails and fallen skin. Not very pleasant to the eyes.I probably won't even need to come up with a story. My body will tell half of it, while I will give the best "Blaine's treatment" of silence and shut up till Coop make his own head and I just have to agree with whatever he says.

All I need right now is a place to stay for awhile. Somewhere where I can think straight for a few weeks. Just, get away from me for awhile.

All I need is Coop to let me stay without any questions asked. I need a bed. I need food. I need an he sees me he probably will hug me till break my bones and don't let me go. KFC with a pinch of "what the hell happened to you!?"

Or he can not care. I can beg. I can tell him everything and he just don't give a damn.

Or he can not even remember me….I went till the phone speaker and pressed the red button.

"who are you?"

"fedEX" I said, while the gate made a lousy noise and opened.

I entered and went to the elevator. For what I could remember from the last time I've been here, his apartment was the would I even tell him? I thought as I saw the light change the lights. Going up on the numbers. 1,2,3….'hey Coop, i won't mind the fact that you left if you don't mind my beaten up face?'

I sighed loudly. That was too hash. I wasn't mad at him. I wasn't not even mad at my parents or Zooey. I was mad at myself.

"fuck" I mourned hitting the elevator wall and regretting fast enugh, as soon as the door opened as a lady, on her old fifties entered the cubicle. I looked down. Trying to hide from the weak lights as I noticed it was my point.

I entered on a well illuminated hallway. It had three doors. One in the very end. Coop's house was the door on the end of the hallway with an old green welcome carpet on the floor. With only four short steps, I was in front of the door. Replaying everything on my head. Everything that could and couldn't happen.

I raised my hand to knock the door and noticed how shook up I was. I took three slow breaths and went for it.

*knock knock knock*

"Who is it?" I heard a female voice call from within inside.

"uhh... FedEX" I muttered, as I squeezed the fingers of my right hand with my left index finger and thumb.

"One minute!"

I heard a loud bang coming from behind the door and whispering voices, which made me start to grow uncomfortable on my spot as the noises coming from the house only got louder. I did come to the right place... or... didnt I?

The door made a huge squeak sound as a woman faced me. She had long, wavy red hair and a round face with freckles. A small nose and a pointy chin. She looed like she was young, but very old at the same time.

Her features showed that she was mad, like she was disturbed in the middle of something really important.

The red hair lady was wearing a white robe, that looked like was too big on her, but she didnt seen to care.

"You..." She stared at me for a moment, from top to bottom "You are not from fedEx" She concluded.

"I am... ish" I said finally.

"What do you mean?" She asked, with her voice a bit raspy.

I changed the weight of my body, to be sustained with my other foot. I wasn't ready for that. For that question or situation. I was ready for Coop. Not some stranger asking me about my horrible disguise.

"Look boy" She said angry at me, with her voice a pitch higher and pointing her finger at me. "I'm not with patience for this. Go prank your mother!" And slammed the door at my nose.

"What's going on?" A voice came from inside, a voice that I knew so well."its just a boy with nothing else to do!"

"what?"

"A weirdo pretending to be a fedEX guy"

I knocked on the door again. I had sure that was Cooper and my legs felt like jelly, it wouldn't sustain my weigh for too long.'for crying out loud' I heard someone complain as the door opened again.

"oh my god" Cooper said in shock, leading his hands to cover his mouth.

"hey" I said uneasily.

"WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?" Cooper shouted, passing his fingers through the curls of his brown curvy hair, an unsettling gesture of jitters.

"It's kind of a funny story" I said with a half smile looking the polished floor inside of the house.

"Mind telling?" He asked me angry. I looked to him in the eyes, scared by the sudden change in my brother's voice. His usually snobby and calm blue eyes, were burning. I could see the anger grow inside of him, or maybe Coop got paler and that was his blood system working.

The red hair lady, came out of the house, scared about my brothers shoutings."Baby, whats wrong?" She asked, concerned about the condition of Coop right now. His face was red, a shade of dark red. And his eyes were with a shadow of crazyness on it.

"Kathy Can you please leave?" He turned around to the ginger girl. They stared at each other for a moment . Kathy Opened her mouth to say something but Cooper was faster. "Family business."

He said, with a fake smile that dind't last even one second on his face.

"Okay" She agreed, with a monotonous voice. Which made me notice that she put some clothes on. A black dress, with some shiny things on it. Kathy entered the house, and came back with a small black purse. She gave Coop a goodbye kiss and touched my shoulder as a goodbye sign.

Coop watched as the girl behind of me leftt, with vague look in his eyes, I almost felt like I was not there . Almost .

He crossed his arms across his chest, which made his crumpled shirt straighten on that spot. "Go inside" he simply said, as he turned a little on the door, leaving a free gap to pass.

When I passed through him , I'm not sure WHAT I heard or if it was just my brain messing with me.

"What the fuck did this kid got into" Cooper said . I'm 99 % sure that it was that at least .

I entered the house and sat on the wooden chair in the kitchen. Cooper's apartment is very small, A white wall surrounded by tones and shades of olive green and dark brown. The kitchen is connected to the living room, and the bedroom has a small brown divider to apportion it from the other cozy.

The living room was practically empty, no couch, no TV , not a single decoration on the walls, all what he had was books scattered everywhere and a laptop on top of it. The house gave me a strange sense of place where I was sitting, it was what I believe to be Coop's dining table, a table with transparent glass, with two plates on top of it, both with leftover.

The white plate in front of me, it had a torn piece of chicken with a bite in it and many remnants of mixed sauce, a mixture of colors, warm and cool colors together and mixed. The other dish was pretty much in the same state.

Cooper grabbed a chair and dragged to sit right next to me. He turned the chair, so the backrest was facing me and sat resting his arms on it."What happened?"

I knew this would be the first question, I could read my brother as a open book, he did not change. Coop was still the same, only more obsessed with appearance I guess.

"Blaine " Coop spoke again , snapping me out of my daydreams . I looked up, something in his voice made me want to look him in the eye, even tho my brain screamed, flounced to avoid eye contact, my heart was saying otherwise. "What happened?" He asked again, not taking his eyes off mine .

I opened my mouth to answer, but closed at the same time. I know that I came here with that purpose, to tell all, no secrets,and in the best case, get a shoulder to lean on, but how could I throw a bomb like that on my brother. I culdn't give him a granade withut a pin and expect everything t be alright. I opened my mouth, and closed again. It was frustrating .

The elder Anderson closed his hand into a fist and punched the table. I thought it would break in two, I looked up and his face was even redder than when we were in the front door. he was gritting his teeth, and seemed as that was what was hlding him from explode .

"Okay" He said after a time "Let me see"

"What?"

"Let me see" he said determinedly .

I Breathedin and out slowly, three times. Every time I was determined to take my shirt off and show my wounds, I went into pure panic .

"I can't" I whispered.

"Blaine!" Cooper shouted, already losing his patience "Either you talk or you show it I need to know what happened, or at least how bad it is!"He closed his eyes and squeezed the bridge of his nose. " You're my little brother ... I'll take care of you " He opened his eyes and looked at me. He opened his mouth but hesitated " I promise "

Cooper just raised and kept passing his hand thrugh his curls.I took a deep breath and closed my eyes as hard as possible. It was a habit i had since i was a child. If I closed my eyes stronger, I'm sure they would be jump out of orbit, but I didn't care, I just wanted everything to stop, that this night was over, that today never happened. I closed my eyes even stronger, with the promise that when I opened 'em everything would be different. That It was a dream .

I opened my eyes and saw my brother in front of mysel staring right at me. I felt so tired. I breathed deeply, I felt my nostrils inflating, I felt that my lips were dry, and my lungs ached with pain. I hated this all.

"Okay"I said right then trying to convince me more than him, then I took the shirt off.

"Fuck..."

I don't have sure if it was Cooper's voice or my brain's, or even both. I don't know. I just know that that really short word, full of meaning, floating through the thick air meant it all.

My chest was shown and the cold air that hit my bruises made me tremble.

"FUCK!" He shouted covering his face with his hands. "Just... fuck"

"Coop..."

"If I was there... if I only was there" He said, more to himself than to me. "He would never lay a hand on you"

"It's fine Coop" I tried to say, but he cutted me off.

"It's not fine Blaine" He said, his face looked so old and his voice sounded so tired. "It's not. I'm your bigger brother. I should protect you. Always."

"Coop" I started and he tried to cut me off again, but I increased the volume of my voice which made him pay attention to me because I never do this. "That's not the problem."

"How could you even say that" he said giving me a look that he only gave at me one time, and it was after the sadie hawkins dance, when I told him how 'it wasn't a big deal' "have you seen yourself yet?"

"No, but-"

"Your face is fucking destroyed Blaine. Your white shirt is fucking red! Just, I should have done something when this first happened. I failed you, and I'm sor-"

"COOPER!" I shouted, with tears on my eyes trying to make him shut up. "I'm gonna have a child"

"What?" Cooper said surprised "how?! I thought you were gay"

"I am." I said looking down to my hands. "I was at this party, then I dont know, everything happened like a blur, and the next day I woke up next to this naked girl, and that's how started"

I looked Cooper in the eyes. But I couldn't stand it. It was too much. "Then yesterday, she called me, and I told mom, who told dad, and now I'm homeless. A homeless teenage dad. A homeless gay teenage dad"

And I lost it. I started to cry and I couldn't stop it, even if I tried it.

"Fuck Blaine" he stood up and hugged me tight. "I'm here" .