Lavender Glances and Cobalt Stares
Uruha had frozen as Kai nervously picked at his sleeve. His mind wouldn't quite comprehend what it was being told to process. Kai, the surprisingly sexy, sturdy, kind, beautiful…Uruha's mind tried to fit the idea of racy thoughts to Kai's personality.
"I'm sorry I lost my friend, he's about five seven, looks exactly like you." Uruha spoke with obvious shock as Kai tried a shaky smile. "You're serious…" Uruha sat back as he stared at the floor in front of him. "Wow…"
"Is it a bad thing?" Kai asked, wondering if he should have waited to tell Uruha.
"I don't know. It never even entered my mind you could think like that." Uruha was dumbfounded before quickly clarifying. "I mean of course you can think like that, I mean men have needs and you are…a…man." Uruha cleared his throat slightly as he realized he was just spouting words. "I just didn't think those needs would involve me." Uruha finished as Kai turned slightly pink. "This isn't some joke is it? Some teasing to make fun of me or make up for all the years we bully you?" Kai chuckled slightly as Uruha's slight anxiety showed through.
"Do I seem like the person to do that to you?" Kai asked with a faint smile. Still nervous Uruha ran his hands through his hair; it shifted messily over his shoulders.
"You didn't seem like the person to have any racy thoughts. There's apparently very much to you that I don't know." Uruha answered truthfully and Kai smiled before getting nervous about coming clean.
"You didn't answer me though." Kai reminded Uruha and the taller light brunette bit at his lower lip. He stared at Kai who had made himself just as vulnerable tonight as Uruha. "Is this something that's going to ruin…us?" Uruha swallowed again, nervous to make a choice that so easily destroy everything he was used to. Uruha moved to his couch and sat his head dropping to his hands as his elbows rested on his knees.
"Kai." At the sound of his name Kai walked from the hallway they had been standing in to the couch Uruha was sitting on. Uruha sighed. "I don't think I can do us. What if we end up breaking up Gazette?" Kai worried his hands against his jeans as Uruha spoke, trying to ignore the growing feeling of slight panic. Uruha paused slightly before turning to Kai, staring at him. "Kai I have a question, these feeling, are you sure of them?" Uruha asked quietly as Kai sat.
"Not even close to being sure, some times I think it's just lust." Kai's face was red as Uruha's slowly turned as he thought about his own thoughts on Kai. "Uruha…" Kai muttered and as the guitarist turned after a pause, wondering what Kai was doing Kai lightly pulled his face closer and pressed his lips to Uruha's. Uruha's eyes widened and his heart jumped and thumped painfully as if it was thinking to stop. Kai on the other hand felt a smooth warm feeling that gave him goose-bumps, like if he had taken a hot shower while chilled to the bone.
Reita watched as Ruki's almost innocent but intelligent brain worked out the situation. Reita moved to dress, taking his time so he didn't make Ruki feel rushed or pressured. Then as he finished, he lightly helped Ruki, who was still heavily occupied, dressing him as Ruki robotically helped. As Reita soothed out Ruki's clothes and started to fix his hair Ruki grabbed his wrists. Ruki's face seemed as if he was a mille-second to a decision.
"We can't go public. Or even act as a couple in public." Ruki glanced at Reita before lowering his hands. "The only people we could tell would be the band. But I don't know how any of them would react" Ruki lowered his eyes to the floor. Reita sighed and moved his hands to again cover Ruki's cheeks as his thumbs rubbed across the apples of Ruki's cheeks.
"I don't need to be public; I don't care what the others think." Reita kissed the top of Ruki's head in a show of affection. "I love you Ruki, I won't tell this to anyone but you. You need to come to grips with that. This is about what we think about it. Not anyone else."
"You don't even feel embarrassed with all that fluff coming from your mouth?" Ruki asked as he turned slightly pink, not quite knowing what to say when confronted with Reita's blunt-ness, a gentle, 180° turn-around from Aoi's.
"Do you want to be with me?" Reita asked gently knowing Ruki's almost childish personality and unaware fragile-ness. "Do you want to be mine?" Ruki nodded slowly. "Talk out loud Ruki, so I can hear." Reita couldn't explain the possessive urge that welled up.
"I want to be yours." Ruki's face flamed, feeling that somehow having his self-splayed to Reita bare naked was less intimate then this. "Are you mine now?" Ruki asked.
"Yeah." Reita grinned as Ruki looked at him. "Let's go eat then?" Ruki nodded with a smile. Reita bent and gave Ruki a kiss on his cheek, loving how the spontaneous act made Ruki flush. "You really do make a good girl." Reita commented softly, knowing he would frown.
Kai sighed as he entered the gym. On Ruki's request he had entered to pick the guitarist up. He now regretted kissing Uruha, and though he would never tell him, he was sure of his feelings now, as was Uruha. Looking for him Kai rubbed at his arm. Uruha was on a weight lifter, the trainer behind him not watching as closely as Kai knew he should. He pressed the weights up into a set and Kai noticed his arms wobbling and hurried as his arms gave. Kai launched himself as the trainer noticed after Uruha shouted. Uruha winced as he felt something heavy land on his chest the opened his eyes as it was a steady even weight, not the weight of a heavy metal bar crushing his sternum. Kai huffed out a breath before his eyes widened. His sat, astride Uruha's chest. He set the bar on the rack to hold it before glaring at the trainer who looked sheepishly at the shorter male.
"Can't you do your job? This could have seriously hurt him!" the trainer looked around as Kai yelled at him, shyly looking at a nearby woman on a treadmill. "Don't look at that woman! What do you have to say? You're supposed to be his spotter, not trying to spot someone's under-" Kai stopped abruptly as Uruha slapped his hands on Kai's thighs.
"He's new Kai, let him go." Uruha's voice as low and when Kai nodded and moved to get up Uruha sighed and looked at the trainer. "You should think about if you should be doing this job." Uruha muttered to the man as he nodded quickly, sensing Kai's anger. Uruha sat up and grabbed Kai's left forearm weakly as he swayed slightly.
"You pushed too hard." Kai commented as Uruha chuckled.
"Too hard is all a matter of opinion." Uruha chuckled before brushing back his light bangs hair from his face as half stayed put from his sweat. "So where's Ruki?" Uruha looked around. "He was supposed to pick me up." Kai frowned slightly. "Ah, I let him borrow my car, he likes the color." Uruha explained and Kai chuckled slightly. Waving for him to follow Uruha walked to the lockers to change. "He was supposed to take me to the music store, there's a new guitar I want to try out." Kai nodded, he had heard about this during the last practice. Uruha held the door open for Kai and he thanked him quietly. The locker room smelled lightly of sweat and a slight fungal smell that made Kai happy he chose to wear boots.
"Well I need more drumsticks, so I could take you." Kai offered and Uruha glanced quickly at him and Kai sighed slightly. "And it's not like we would be alone, there's other people in the store." Kai clarified as he turned away from Uruha to hide the slight hurt feeling that rose up, he bent slightly to look at a band sticker on a locker, mentally wondering if it was a good band. Uruha noticed the hurt in Kai's voice and knew his suspicion that his earlier actions had been misinterpreted was true.
"We're alone now." Uruha said softly rounding the short wooden bench to slightly block in Kai. Not noticing Kai just nodded, trying not to care quite so much. Uruha looked Kai over in a glance before deciding this was unacceptable. "Besides you misunderstood me before." Uruha spoke softly finally drawing Kai's attention completely to him. Turning Kai jumped slightly as he realized how close Uruha was to him.
"You were pretty clear." Kai commented backing against the locker behind him. "You said we shouldn't be alone together, that you didn't want us to be alone. What could be clearer than that?" Kai asked and Uruha smiled slightly nearing to Kai. Kai pressed to the locker like it would give way and give him more room from Uruha. The locker didn't give away though Kai himself threatened to as Uruha pressed them together and kissed Kai. Kai pushed at Uruha who backed away out of respect. Kai stared at him for a moment before clenching his hands tightly. "What is it that you want?" Kai asked angrily. "You give out very mixed messages." Kai went to hit Uruha as the guitarist infuriately caught his hand. "Just tell me for the love of Kami!"
"Alright, alright!" Uruha tried to calm Kai down though failing. "I don't want to be alone with you-" Kai wrenched his hands away as Uruha spoke, rubbing his hand on his blue jeans.
"See! Why do you say that after kissing me? Why would you even kiss me then!" Kai asked, getting frustrated by Uruha. Uruha sighed and clamped his hand over Kai's mouth.
"I don't want to be near you, because all I think about when we're alone is indecent." Kai's face flushed slightly first from anger then deeper from embarrassment. "Understand?"
"Y-yeah. I understand." Kai muttered looking away from Uruha as he moved back to his own locker and lifted a light grey shirt to put on. "I d-don't mind." Kai muttered, almost thinking Uruha missed hearing him before Uruha turned to look at him. Uruha said nothing, did nothing but stare at him, Kai stepped over bench without breaking their eye-contact until he kissed Uruha. Uruha pushed Kai away gently.
"Kai if you do this there isn't a going back. It won't be the same as before." Uruha was quiet not wanting to hurt Kai or the band. Kai bit back a sarcastic reply and smiled.
"I know, I told you I didn't mind." Kai smiled as a slow grin bloomed on Uruha's face.
"I'm going to make you regret that." Even Ruki's teasingly perverted grin had nothing on Uruha's face. Kai chuckled as he led the way out of the locker room.
"I'm counting on it." Kai flirted making Uruha's grin widen.
Ruki shifted in the bed, unaware that Reita was awake and watching him sleep. Reita pulled the vocalist closer, reveling in the intimate scene he could only wish for a few months ago. Ruki shifted closer to Reita, their limb entangling as Reita shifted to get them relaxed. The close skin was oddly exciting for Reita, having always enjoyed Ruki's soft skin. Habitually he stroked the skin on Ruki's arm, smiling as he watched Ruki's face shift in his dreams. Glancing at the clock Reita sighed, after a three day free time, today was the first practice back. Reita missed being able to touch Ruki whenever he wanted as he could in private, or even with Aoi there. Reita gently kissed Ruki's temple as he wrapped himself around his lover. Today would come and go, and then he could be alone with Ruki again.
"Ruru." Reita softly spoke, not wanting to startle Ruki awake. Ruki stirred slightly as Reita brushed his hair from his face. As he woke his face lit up. "Morning." Reita smiled before a muffled startled shout came from him as Ruki latched their mouths together.
"Four months…when can we tell the band?" Ruki asked, knowing Reita had more misgivings about the others then Ruki. "Please, soon?" Reita nodded and Ruki smiled again, kissing Reita's cheek before standing to get dressed. "Happy day." Ruki murmured as he dressed. Reita watched for a moment with a soft smile. Then he stood and got ready as well.
"So let me get this right, you want me to take things from your point of view?" Uruha asked as Kai sighed as he cooked the breakfast. Uruha slid behind him between Kai and the table behind him. "And what point is that? To be perfectly clear?" Uruha asked as he set his head on Kai's shoulder and watching him cook. Kai sighed as he flipped the rectangular omelet.
"The point is, that you can't be going so hard right before a practice, you know even they'll notice soon." Kai muttered only half angry. Then before Uruha could make his usual comment back to Kai he continued. "And are we going to tell our families? It's been almost three months." Uruha sighed slightly.
"I know, but my family is very traditional, and I don't want your mother mad at me." Uruha grumbled something under his breath childishly getting Kai to smile slightly.
"I can't hear you." Kai commented and Uruha sighed.
"She scares me." Uruha spoke softly as he heard a laugh from Kai. "I'm serious. How about this, if the week goes well, we'll tell the band?" Uruha tried to compromise and Kai sighed, deciding to take the offer and turned around to the table, set for two and slid their eggs on the plate, the other already having a steaming omelet. "I already know Aoi wouldn't dare to say I'm doing something wrong, and Reita is very accepting. All we have to worry about is manager and Ruki." Kai nodded, surprised but accepting that Uruha had put more thought then Kai had previously thought he did. Uruha sat with Kai enjoying being able to be close to Kai without worrying about the side-effects, the bad press or getting the band split.
Ruki bit at his lip from nerves, Reita had been blunt about their relationship and no one had said a word in the time since. Reita shifted nervously as Uruha raised his eyebrow at Ruki.
"So you two are together?" Uruha gave a quick look to Kai who sat across the table and smiled. "And for how long." Ruki smiled slightly a Reita chuckled.
"Four months today." Aoi coughed on his water, and Ruki snickered as Reita continued. "We thought the safest thing would be to tell you guys first." Uruha smiled as Reita lifted Ruki's hand clasped in his hand. Kai tapped at Uruha's thigh, his foot getting caught by Uruha.
"Actually…" Kai started, though stopped from nerves as Aoi cut him off.
"Why are you not telling manager yet?" Aoi asked bluntly, the stress he had built from trying to get his own relationship accepted by their manager was building with every day. "He might be more accepting of a relationship in the band if there's more than one." Aoi shifted slightly. Uruha joined eyes with Kai and shook his head slightly as the manager came in the room with a loud slamming of the door. He turned almost immediately to the band and threw multiple magazines on the table. On the cover of the obviously seedy magazines were photos of Uruha and Kai looking indecent to say the least together in a house.
"What do you two have to say for yourselves?" The manager asked and Uruha turned the magazines toward him as Aoi next to him roughly sat up with the chair legs clanking against the linoleum. Kai got up and stood next to Uruha's other side, fidgeting slightly when he realized the photos weren't manipulated, remembering the night of passion well. Uruha chuckled slightly and the manager relaxed. "So the picture is faked then?" Manager asked with much less stress evident in his voice. Uruha laughed as he turned to another magazine. Showing Uruha on bottom in all aspects of the word he pushed the magazine to the manager, showing the last one to Kai with a loud laugh, showing Kai dressed in only an apron and a heavy flush.
"That one's fake." Uruha pointed at the magazine in front of Manager and didn't notice Kai's face growing redder as the band looked at the pictures. Reita laughing as Uruha did at the apron photo. The manager took a semi-calming breath. As he rubbed his forehead Aoi noticed the manager gain the same look as when Aoi brought up his dating life. Kai leaned closer to a picture, wondering how bad the picture was.
"You're having sexual affairs with Kai?" He nearly yelled his voice furious and even Aoi frowned at the manager. "What is wrong with you two?" Aoi stood as Kai straightened. Uruha stayed seated, trying to calm himself as Ruki turned in the corner and sent slightly frightened glances Reita's way. "What, has the lime light corrupted you so you think common human morals don't apply?" Out of Manager's sight Reita waved Ruki over and Ruki tried not to be obvious as he sat beside Reita. As Kai picked up a paper and threw it to the manager.
"What about this is so disgusting?" Kai asked angrily, forgetting his earlier wish that today went well. Ruki's hand sought out Reita's under the table as his heart pounded fearfully for the future of the band, what he had come to hold so dear.
"Can't you take a hint from your band mates? No one else is in that kind of thing!" shoving the magazines back at Kai manager's traditional mind couldn't comprehend what had made the two get together and as the last line left his mouth the normally gentle Reita slammed his hand on the table, shocking even Aoi out of anger. Reita was staring at his hand; it stopped a magazine from flying into Ruki.
"I'm with Ruki." Reita spoke as if he was talking about a ride home raising their clasped hands to the table as Ruki gripped harder. "If you have a problem with that, then I suggest you leave the room, because it's not changing for you." Reita gave confidence to Ruki with his words as his hand squeezed Ruki's. The manager shook his head, the people he had worked for, for so long, ending up like this. Manager brushed his hand over his face and sighed, he knew in the back of his mind that he was overreacting but in his mind at the moment he could think of nothing else but what had been ingrained in him, that this was wrong. Not trusting him-self to say anything Manager turned and left the room with one final scornful look at them all, resting finally on Ruki. Reita stroked his thumb over the back of the vocalists hand as Ruki sighed, feeling somehow responsible Kai sat down in the chair Uruha occupied, Uruha wrapping his arms around Kai's waist rubbing at his thighs lightly as he set his forehead against Kai's back.
"I…" Ruki's voice died out as he no longer wanted to speak, what he was going to say faded from his mind. Reita lifted their intertwined hands to rub the back of Ruki's hand against his cheek. Kai sighed as the pressing aura in the room was depressed and guilt ridden. They had made Manager angry before, but not like this. Aoi, though he didn't fully like the band hooking up, though he knew two things; previous actions with two of the members made Aoi a hypocrite if he ever called them sick, and no one in the band deserved to be miserable.
"Fuck him; let's go celebrate fan-service, no longer a ploy for fans!" Aoi stood and grabbed Kai's arm, hauling him up as well. "Besides I need a drink." Reita and Uruha shot Aoi a grateful look as Kai gave Ruki a quick hug. Reita sighed and ran his hands through his hair, parts sticking up slightly. As they moved out of the buildings and into Reita's car as it had the most room, no one spoke. They went to Uruha's as they didn't want to go to a club and Uruha almost always had a bottle of something. As they entered the apartment Kai quickly hurried to clean a few things from the floor and Ruki chuckled slightly. The apron from the pictures hung on a peg in the kitchen as they walked in. Uruha pulled cinnamon vodka from the freezer, the bottle having a slight film of frost over the glass. Uruha frowned slightly as his hand stuck slightly to the glass. Reita chuckled at this, and slowly as glassed and drink were passed around, and matters talked about the tension and the stress melded away and they were again one band, ready for anything.