Sirius awoke to the sound of something hitting the floor hard followed by a
short yelp of pain. Still half asleep, he ran across the hall and into
Rem's room. Upon turning on the lights, he found that Remus wasn't in bed.
Now even more confused, Siri circled around to find his best friend having
some kind of a fit on the cold hard floor. Instincts now took over his
actions. He rushed to his friend's side and fell to his knees. He quickly
pulled a pillow off his bed and laid Lupin's head on it as gently as he
could. Then he did his best to keep Rem from hurting himself until the
seizure passed.
Black had never seen such a thing in his life. Though the sight was deeply disturbing, something kept his eyes glued to his former schoolmate's shaking form. His face was twisted in pain and his eyes were shut as tightly as humanly possible. His arms and legs were completely tensed up and twitching. Remus' back was at an arch and his breathing was hard, fast, and ragged. Sirius had a time keeping his swiftly rolling and turning head from hitting the leg of the bed or dresser. Not to mention watching out behind him for a kick and trying to loosen Lupin's fists, which were so tightly closed Black wouldn't be surprised if his long nails had drawn blood. The shakes got gradually worse and at what appeared to be the apex tremor Rem let a long low moan seep from parched lips. The pitiful sound was nearly enough to bring Sirius to tears. He simply had to try to stop this soon. Hopelessly, he tried to talk Lupin back to earth.
"Remus? C'mon Rem, it's me. You have to be strong, okay? Control. Control yourself. You can fight this. Just relax, buddy, c'mon. Moony, it's all right. Everything's fine. You're strong. You can stop this. You're strong. Relax. Everything is going to be fine. You hear me?? C'mon Remus, I know you can hear me."
Rather suddenly, the shakes subsided and Lupin became as stiff as a board. For a few seconds all was deathly silent and then Moony seemed to melt in Sirius' hold with a long weary sigh. All his muscles seemed to turn to Jell- O and within seconds he was completely limp. Now he almost seemed asleep except that his breath was still quicker than normal.
"Remus? Can you hear me?" Black asked softly.
Lupin swallowed and worked his mouth a little. His eyes opened and rolled slightly as he tried with difficulty to focus them on something. Once he did a confused expression crossed his tired face. Sirius realized that his friend didn't seem to know where he was exactly.
"We're still home. Don't worry. You just fell off the bed, that's all." "Oh." Moony breathed. And then, realizing for the first time whom was talking to him, said, "Oh God. I'm so sorry." He looked down and away from Black's face in shame. "I'm sorry you had to see that." Black felt his heart sink. He was always sorry for something. Even if he did nothing wrong. It tore him up inside to see his friend so gloomy all the time. What hurt more is that he didn't try to fight the depression. It was as if he felt he deserved it for being.well, for being who he was. When he said sorry it was as if he was taking the blame for all the evil in the world and accepting the injustice of it all under the reality that nothing could change it.
"It's alright.You don't have to be sorry. I'm glad I heard you. You might've hurt yourself. Do you think you can make it into bed? You look like shit." He said with a grin." "Not quite yet, no. Maybe when the room stops spinning." Rem smiled thinly at this and brought his hands up to his temples. "That's not funny, buddy." Black said now with a serious face. "I know it isn't." His friend replied simply. He sighed slowly. "It's not funny at all."
Black had never seen such a thing in his life. Though the sight was deeply disturbing, something kept his eyes glued to his former schoolmate's shaking form. His face was twisted in pain and his eyes were shut as tightly as humanly possible. His arms and legs were completely tensed up and twitching. Remus' back was at an arch and his breathing was hard, fast, and ragged. Sirius had a time keeping his swiftly rolling and turning head from hitting the leg of the bed or dresser. Not to mention watching out behind him for a kick and trying to loosen Lupin's fists, which were so tightly closed Black wouldn't be surprised if his long nails had drawn blood. The shakes got gradually worse and at what appeared to be the apex tremor Rem let a long low moan seep from parched lips. The pitiful sound was nearly enough to bring Sirius to tears. He simply had to try to stop this soon. Hopelessly, he tried to talk Lupin back to earth.
"Remus? C'mon Rem, it's me. You have to be strong, okay? Control. Control yourself. You can fight this. Just relax, buddy, c'mon. Moony, it's all right. Everything's fine. You're strong. You can stop this. You're strong. Relax. Everything is going to be fine. You hear me?? C'mon Remus, I know you can hear me."
Rather suddenly, the shakes subsided and Lupin became as stiff as a board. For a few seconds all was deathly silent and then Moony seemed to melt in Sirius' hold with a long weary sigh. All his muscles seemed to turn to Jell- O and within seconds he was completely limp. Now he almost seemed asleep except that his breath was still quicker than normal.
"Remus? Can you hear me?" Black asked softly.
Lupin swallowed and worked his mouth a little. His eyes opened and rolled slightly as he tried with difficulty to focus them on something. Once he did a confused expression crossed his tired face. Sirius realized that his friend didn't seem to know where he was exactly.
"We're still home. Don't worry. You just fell off the bed, that's all." "Oh." Moony breathed. And then, realizing for the first time whom was talking to him, said, "Oh God. I'm so sorry." He looked down and away from Black's face in shame. "I'm sorry you had to see that." Black felt his heart sink. He was always sorry for something. Even if he did nothing wrong. It tore him up inside to see his friend so gloomy all the time. What hurt more is that he didn't try to fight the depression. It was as if he felt he deserved it for being.well, for being who he was. When he said sorry it was as if he was taking the blame for all the evil in the world and accepting the injustice of it all under the reality that nothing could change it.
"It's alright.You don't have to be sorry. I'm glad I heard you. You might've hurt yourself. Do you think you can make it into bed? You look like shit." He said with a grin." "Not quite yet, no. Maybe when the room stops spinning." Rem smiled thinly at this and brought his hands up to his temples. "That's not funny, buddy." Black said now with a serious face. "I know it isn't." His friend replied simply. He sighed slowly. "It's not funny at all."