Salt and Pepper: Chapter One
Charlotte Matthews (or Charlie, as she preferred to be called) was engrossed in the murder mystery 8th Confession by James Patterson, unknowingly playing with the end of her long, red braid and biting her lip. It was only three hours into her shift, but there wasn't a single person in view; the library was like an empty mausoleum.
Shifting into a more comfortable position, she kicked combat-booted feet onto the desk, knowing that her boss wouldn't be showing up today so she was able to get away with it. With the library usually this empty in the summertime (all the kids didn't want to be anywhere near a book when they could be at the beach), Charlie caught up on her reading, ranging from reading informational books (mostly about guns, one of her passions) to history, but mostly murder mystery books, which were her favorite.
She gave the clock a quick glance before returning to her enticing novel; she still had four hours left of her shift before she headed over to her second job at a small mechanics shop called Joe's. If there was one good thing that her dad had done for her before ditching her and her mom, it was to teach her everything she knew about cars and working on them.
"What the hell are you doing, Lindsay?" Charlie mused to herself, scowling at the book as the main character found herself in quite the love triangle. She heard sniggering from someone as she continued to mumble to herself, but it didn't really register in her mind that someone was in the room with her until they sharply knocked on her desk.
Not bothering to look up, a scowling Charlie held up a finger as she kept reading. She then pointed over at the lone computer in the corner, which was for looking up and locating books and such, which is what this person most likely wanted. She heard a snort before a smooth voice asked, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I can find a book on renewing/mending old friendships?"
Growling under her breath, but still not looking up, she replied, "Self-help books are located upstairs, and the children's section on friendship (she sneered this) are around the corner. Help yourself and shoo."
She felt, rather than saw, the person still standing at her desk and sighed loudly.
"What now? D'you need me to hold your hand and guide you to—" she broke off suddenly as she finally looked up from her book, marking the page with her hand. She saw her friend Burton Guster (his friends called him Gus), whom was looking at her with an apologetic look before her eyes moved to the other man standing at her desk. Her book slipped from her hand and fell to the floor with a soft thud as she stared open-mouthed.
"S-Shawn?" she gaped at her friend that had left Santa Barbara almost immediately after high school to travel around. She had heard from him occasionally, usually through Gus, and more recently, Henry, Shawn's dad. She knew that he had taken odd jobs here and there and had no idea that he was coming back to Santa Barbara.
"Hiya, Charlie," Shawn said, with a stupid grin on his face. Charlie got over her shock long enough to vault over her desk and pull Shawn into a tight embrace. When she pulled away, she slapped him, scowling. Gus winced as she turned her glare on him (he hadn't informed her first thing) and took a couple steps back.
"When did you get back into town?" Charlie asked Shawn, turning her glare onto him. He flinched, still rubbing his cheek, which was pink.
"Oh, a few days ago. I've been very busy settling in or else I would've been by to see you sooner," Shawn said, flinching again as Charlie crossed her arms. He had forgotten how violent Charlie could be at times when she was really mad and immediately started thinking of ways to make it up to her.
"You did not, Shawn," Gus reminded him. "It was only after I reminded you that you came."
"No it isn't," Shawn argued. The two started doing their whispering/arguing that they always did and Charlie sighed, fed up. She grabbed both of them and lightly smacked their heads together.
"Knock it off," she growled, running a hand over her face. "Now, here's what's gonna happen. I'm going to go back to work and tonight after I finish my shift at the garage, we're going to go out to dinner and catch up. If either of you fail to show up, I'll hunt you down."
Shawn and Gus shuddered under her glare before she suddenly smirked at them. "Gotcha," she chuckled. "But seriously, dinner. Eight o'clock on the boardwalk."
She returned behind her desk and picked up her book and kicked her feet up on her desk again and grinned at them.
"See ya later, boys!" she wiggled her fingers at them and Shawn and Gus nearly sprinted out of the library.
One Year Later
Charlie growled herself as she walked down the street to the Santa Barbara Police Station. She had gotten a call from Shawn that he had been detained and was going to be questioned. She knew that him calling in all of those tips was a bad idea and had told him so several times. Now, she was going to have to post bail for him if he was arrested again. She scowled, knowing that she was going to lose money and knowing Shawn, she wasn't going to get it back. Why couldn't the idiot just listen to her?
She entered the station and went to the front desk, where a large, but pretty dark-skinned woman sat, looking a bit amazed. Charlie took notice of the woman's earrings, as well as all the crystals and dream catchers around the woman; so, she was into psychics and the paranormal.
"Excuse me," Charlie said, smiling at the woman. "I'm looking for Shawn Spencer? I was told that he was in for questioning. Do I need to post bail?"
"Oh, no, honey. They already let Mr. Spencer go," the woman (Officer Allen, as her nametag identified her) grinned at Charlie. "Is he a friend of yours?"
"Yeah," Charlie said, and then grumbled under her breath, "A dead one."
"Honey, you're friend is the best psychic I've ever seen and he didn't even charge me a dime! You're a very lucky woman to have a friend like that, so willing to help the police," Officer Allen said, smiling warmly at Charlie, who was confused.
"Thanks," Charlie said, giving Officer Allen a quick smile before storming out of the police station. She pulled her cell phone from her jacket pocket, quickly dialing Shawn and scowled when she got his voicemail.
"Shawn Spencer, you'd better call me back within five minutes," she yelled into the phone, causing people to look at her strangely, which she ignored. "I just took off from work to bail you out of jail only to find out that you're already gone by the time I get there, causing me to lose a full day's pay! Call me back." She slammed her flip phone shut, nearly breaking it before walking to the library to retrieve her bike and then rode the two miles to her apartment.
She decided to fix herself lunch and maybe even treat herself to a nap since she couldn't finish her shift at the library (it had been taken by a weasel of man named Chuck) and she didn't have to work at the garage that evening so she had a very rare evening off. She was considering taking a bubble bath that evening as she approached her door (apartment 5F) before she noticed that something was wrong.
She didn't know what it was exactly; call it a sixth sense. Her gut feeling was confirmed when she heard a soft thud come from inside her apartment. She pulled her Glock 19 out of her satchel (registered, of course) before trying her doorknob, finding it unlocked. She slowly entered her apartment, her Glock out in front of her like a pro (she went to the firing range every weekend she could) and narrowed her eyes, searching for intruders.
She heard another noise coming from her small living room and whipped around the corner only to find Shawn and Gus (both of whom had been snooping through her knick-knacks) screaming like little girls at her sudden appearance with a gun.
"What the hell?" she exclaimed, immediately pointing her gun at the floor and semi-relaxing. "Why are you guys in my apartment?!"
"It was Shawn's idea!" Gus immediately threw his best friend under the bus.
"You," Charlie growled, pointing at Shawn. "What the hell were you thinking, getting nearly arrested? I went to the stupid damn station, only to find that you'd gone. And why the crap do the police think you're a psychic?"
At the end of every sentence, she punched Shawn in the arm, making him wince and rub his arm in pain, knowing that it'd probably bruise.
"That's why we're here," Shawn grunted, continuing to rub his arm.
Charlie sighed before putting her gun back in her purse.
"Hold that thought," she said tiredly, holding up a hand at her best friends. "I need lunch first."
Both Shawn and Gus' eyes lit up a the mention of food and the apartment fell silent as Charlie set about fixing grilled chicken sandwiches for lunch.
"Okay, explain," she said, not even looking up as she waited for the chicken to finish cooking on her George Foreman grill. She didn't say a word as Shawn told her the story of what had happened at the SBPD. Shawn finished just as she set plates of food down in front of the boys, who immediately started digging in.
She wrinkled her nose in disgust and said, "So, let me get this straight: you're pretending to be psychic, to the police, none the less, to help them solve crimes? I don't know whether to be impressed or…pft, I don't even know what else to say."
"I'll take that as a compliment," Shawn said with a grin. Charlie snorted and shook her head at him before sighing.
"Another thing," she said, giving Shawn a glare. "Why did you feel the need to break into my apartment? I almost shot you guys! You could have just called me!"
"Because, Charles, that's how I work," Shawn said, trying to be smooth, but Charlie just punched him in the arm.
"I told you, don't call me Charles," Charlie growled at her friend.
"I've heard it both ways," Shawn said, not even making sense. "Anyways, grab your coat and/or jacket. You need to come with us."
"Come where?" Charlie asked, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
"To solve a case," Shawn said, trying to be mysterious, but it wasn't working.
"Just for today," Charlie said, poking Shawn in the chest, which he rubbed. She grabbed her jacket and satchel before following Shawn and Gus out to Gus' company car (a 2002 Toyota Echo) that Charlie had affectionately called the Blueberry, due to its bright blue color.
"Shotgun!" Shawn shouted, sprinting for the car. Charlie just shook her head at his child-like antics. She just scowled as she climbed into the backseat and leaned forward, her chin on the passenger seat to look at the file Shawn had; that was until Gus cleared his throat and said, "Seatbelts, please."
Muttering curses under her breath at Gus, she buckled in and crossed her arms, glaring at her friend in the rearview mirror.
"All right, guys, pay attention," Shawn said, opening his file. "18 months ago, Camden McCallum ran his father's cigarette boat into the Morrow Bay aquarium. That was right after he got caught with that hockey player's wife."
"Yeah, I remember that," Gus said, frowning.
"Guy hadn't been out of the papers in five years. Since that day, nothing. Not a single news story. Not so much as a dented motorcycle,"
"Which is really weird," Charlie said, thinking.
"Okay, so what do you guys want to do?" Gus asked.
"I think Camden McCallum is too good at what he does to stop. Not cold turkey anyway. Beautiful women, fast cars. Doesn't add up. Something happened," Shawn said.
"So, scene of the crime?" Charlie asked, getting excited at the thought of going to a crime scene, complete with detectives and forensics.
Ten minutes later, Gus pulled up at the McCallum residence and Charlie's jaw dropped.
"Holy shit," she gasped in awe. "This place is huge!"
"That it is," Shawn said, grinning at her as she climbed out of the backseat. She handed Gus his pharmaceutical sample case out the backseat and handed it to Gus when he asked for it and then put on sunglasses, looking around the huge estate, wishing she had a place like this.
"How should we introduce ourselves? Don't say "psychic". They'll shut you off. Say something vague. Like 'alternative tactics division'," Gus suggested to Shawn.
Charlie snorted as Shawn said, "How about the bureau of magic and spell casting."
"Or you can just say psychic since the police already think you are one," Charlie said, ignoring Gus' glare. Shawn veered of course to the front door in favor of going to the garbage cans, looking through them.
"Where are you going?" Gus asked in confusion. "You're rooting through trash?"
"Just for a second," Shawn said, digging.
"Ooh!" Charlie said, pulling out laptop that looked brand new. "Damn, I love rich people."
"You two are without a doubt the worst detectives I've ever seen," Gus scoffed and Charlie smacked his arm with her free hand that wasn't holding her new free laptop.
"Gus, everything you need is right in front of you," Shawn said in lightly scolding tone. "You just have to pay attention."
"Oh yeah?" Gus asked, scoffing as Shawn moved aside a lampshade to find a couple of empty bags of dog food.
"Look at this," Shawn said, holding up the bag.
"Ooh, that's Berenson's Brand dog food," Charlie commented, taking the bag from Shawn. "The pound would buy it once in a while when they had the money when I worked there. Of course, I only worked with the cats 'cause dogs are evil."
"She's right," Shawn said. "It's the highest quality dog food on the market."
"Perfect. They pamper their pets," Gus said sarcastically. "The case is almost solved."
"This stuff is really expressive," Shawn mused, pulling out two more bags. Charlie frowned, thinking. "No additives. No preservatives. Why would you possibly open three bags simultaneously when you only have one dog?"
"They're rich. They waste money," Gus argued, not getting it.
"No, Shawn's right," Charlie said. "And I don't say that often. We would use one bag and ration it for the dogs for two weeks and trash gets taken once a week. Why would they use three bags in a week? That's a lot of dog food for one dog."
"Oh, my god!" Shawn exclaimed, startling Gus and Charlie.
"What? Is it a body?" Charlie asked, causing both Gus and Shawn to look at her in a 'what-the-fuck' manner. "What? I like dead bodies."
"What is it?" Gus asked Shawn, turning from his weird friend.
"This CD case it totally nice!" Shawn exclaimed, pulling it from the trash. "Why would someone throw this out? Here, put this in the car!"
He gave the case to Gus, who immediately threw it back in the trash with a frown.
"Inside, now," Gus growled at Shawn and Charlie, spinning on his heels and heading for the front door. Without Gus looking, Shawn took the CD case out of the trash, slipping it under his jacket.
"Good luck with hiding that from Gus," Charlie said with a smirk, slipping the laptop into her satchel.
"Eh, Gus needs to stop being a busybody," Shawn said, grinning at her.
Charlie snorted and said, "Dude, sometimes you don't make any sense. Gus is just fed up with your antics, like he usually is."
"I've heard it both ways," Shawn said.
"Whatever." Charlie shook her head, lengthening her strides to catch up with Gus.
"Is it entirely too early for me to have a theory?" Shawn asked Gus and Charlie, catching up to them.
"Can you at least wait until we see some evidence?" Gus hissed at him.
"I suppose I could if it would make you happier," Shawn said nonchalantly.
"It's possible to form a theory, Gus," Charlie scoffed at Gus, "But Shawn and I both know that you just want to see and/or talk to the forensics guys."
"S-Shut up, Charlie," Gus stuttered, glaring at her.
"Whoa, just act natural," Shawn said, as they passed some officers in the hallway.
"I thought you said they knew we were coming," Charlie hissed at Shawn, noticing one of the detectives glaring at them. Charlie peeked around the corner at the tall, lanky detective. He was very good-looking with salt and pepper colored hair and what seemed to be a permanent scowl etched on his face.
"They know," Gus hissed.
"How could they know?" Shawn asked, nonchalant.
"They know," Gus repeated, scared at the thought of getting caught.
"We haven't said anything yet," Shawn argued.
"They know. I can feel it," Gus said.
"Oh, you're a psychic now, too?" Shawn asked.
"You're not a psychic," Gus hissed.
"Will you two knock it off?!" Charlie snapped, smacking both of their arms. "You two are drawing the most suspicion just by arguing. Now, Gus, stop freaking out and Shawn, do your fake-psychic-y thing. Now get your butts in gear."
It took Shawn and Gus a moment to shake off the shock before Shawn grabbed one of Gus' and Charlie's arms and pulled them further away from the living room and whispered, "Gus, let's just be clear on one thing. The only way they can absolutely prove that I am not a psychic is if I tell them. And I can guarantee you, that is the one thing I will never do."
Shawn spotted something down the hall, exclaimed, "Ooh. Ooh, Ooh! Check this out," before walking off.
"You got a lead?" Gus asked, following. Charlie gave one last peek at the sexy detective with a smirk before following her friends.
"No, but look at this girl," Shawn said, indicating to the McCallum family portrait hanging on the wall. "She must be the sister. God, she's incredible."
"Eh, she's okay," Charlie said, wrinkling her nose, hoping he'd move on to more important things. She wandered off to the kitchen, looking through the cabinets for anything that might stand out.
"Who are you? Civilians aren't supposed to be at a crime scene," a voice sneered from the kitchen doorway. Charlie turned around to see the sexy detective standing there, glaring at her. She smirked at him before turning and ignoring him.
"Hey, I'm talking to you," he snapped, grabbing her arm.
"Let go!" she exclaimed, yanking her arm out of his grasp. "Seriously, you can't just go around grabbing people! One of these days someone's gonna kick you in the balls or taze you. Oh, and my name is Charlie and I'm here with Shawn Spencer, the psychic."
With a dark glare, she turned on heel and found Shawn and Gus in the living room, where the police had set up their base. Shawn was looking through some photo albums while Gus was taking a couple of his anxiety pills. Charlie took a deep breath as Shawn left with the other detective lady and stood by Gus.
"Dude, these detectives are such assholes," Charlie complained to Gus. She showed him her arm, which was bright red, and said, "This is gonna bruise. I should file for police brutality."
Gus just snorted and shook his head, saying, "Yeah, if you leave out the fact that you probably antagonized him."
"Thanks, best friend," Charlie said sarcastically, sneering at Gus. "This is so stupid. I'm pretty sure that this chick has nothing to do with her bother's disappearance; I think Shawn's just obsessed with her."
"I know," Gus said. "He just asked her out a moment ago while her brother is missing!"
"Despicable." Charlie shook her head at her friend's tact. "C'mon. Let's go find the bonehead."
Charlie and Gus found Shawn sitting in the den, working with the sketch artist, who was drawing a picture of a young man wearing a beanie.
"Shawn," Gus hissed.
"Yeah?"
"Can we talk to you for a second?"
"Like, now," Charlie added when he didn't answer for a moment.
"Yeah, yeah," Shawn said, focused on the sketch, then addressed the artist: "So just a little more to the left and I think we're there. All right. What's up?"
"What are you doing?" Gus asked.
"Just…Just work with me, you guys," Shawn told them. Charlie rolled her eyes, starting to think that Shawn didn't know what he was doing.
"Tell them you're blocked or something," Gus suggested.
"Or just stupid," Charlie muttered under her breath.
"I'm gonna have to use that later," Shawn said, making Charlie snort as he said that right after she called him stupid. Shawn then turned to the artist and asked, "Uh, how we looking over there?"
Charlie sighed, putting her hand over her face as the artist turned the sketch around and she noticed that Shawn was just going off of a picture that was sitting right behind the artist. Honestly, could he be any more of an idiot?
"Oh, that's great," Shawn commented on the sketch. "Now look how good that is."
The artist showed the sketch to Gus, who noticed the same thing Charlie had with the photo.
"See how he's looking off to the left like he's seeing something? As far as the hair goes, can we get the bangs wispier like he's trying to compensate for like maybe he's thinning in the back and sort of got a swoop?" Shawn asked Gus and Charlie.
"He's an idiot," Charlie said out of the side of her mouth to Gus, who nodded. The mother (who was talking to the lady detective) caught sight of the sketch, screamed, bringing the sister, Katarina, into the room in a panic.
"Oh, my gosh! It's Bill! Oh, it's Bill! Oh, honey, come here quick. Bill's the kidnapper!" the mother exclaimed loudly, freaking out. Katarina looked at the sketch in shock and breathed out, "That's the exact cap I gave him."
Charlie cleared her throat, causing Gus to look over and she used her eyes to indicate to the photo that was in plain view of everyone. Gus side-stepped and stood in front of the photo, hiding it and Charlie gave him a thumbs up, making him smile.
"Okay, everyone. Stop!" Shawn closed his eyes, pretending he was having a vision. "No, no! I'm sorry. Bill is not the kidnapper."
Gus snuck the photo under his jacket, taking it to Charlie, who slipped it into her satchel, planning on disposing it somewhere around the house.
"Not the kidnapper. Bill is just a horrible human being. Who is "Bill"? I'm getting, uh, multiple women. Is he a bigamist? Pimp? Does he sell children on the black market?" Shawn asked and Charlie groaned. What an idiot.
"Good job on getting us kicked out of the crime scene, Shawn," Charlie grumbled as the three of them left the massive McCallum estate. Shawn ignored her as he spotted Mr. McCallum coming up the stairs towards them.
"Mr. McCallum, I'm Shawn Spencer, the psychic," Shawn introduced himself.
"Well, thank you for coming," Mr. McCallum said. "If there's anything I can do…"
"I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you, sir," Shawn said, causing Charlie to raise an eyebrow at Shawn's unusual sympathy.
"Nothing can prepare you for something like this knowing you can't do anything. Call me any time with any questions," Mr. McCallum offered as he turned to go inside.
"Uh, actually, I do have one question, sir," Shawn said, making him pause. "How did he feel about the dog?"
"Well, he loved the damn thing. Didn't do anything without it."
"Yeah. That'll do it. Thank you, sir," Shawn said with a smile.
Charlie got into the back seat of Gus' car once more (Shawn had shoved his way past her with another cry of "Shotgun!")
"Does he like his dog?" Gus asked in disbelief. "That's how you investigate?"
"I think we're making progress," Shawn argued.
"Since you've been here, all you've done is dig through the trash, hit on the victim's sister, and falsely accuse her boyfriend," Gus yelled, getting mad. Charlie sighed. She agreed with Gus; Shawn was getting nowhere, fast.
"Gus, he is not her boyfriend. She made a point to say they're free to see other people," Shawn argued.
"Which has nothing to do with the case, Shawn!" Charlie snipped at Shawn, frustrated. She could be having a nice, hot bubble bath right now, enjoying a drink and a good murder mystery book.
"Charlie's right, Shawn," Gus fumed. "Have a blast. I quit."
"You can't quit. We just got started!" Shawn called out as Gus walked away. Charlie, fed up, followed Gus to his car.
"Watch me," Gus retorted.
"Yeah, I'm leaving, too, Shawn," Charlie said as Gus tossed his case in the backseat. Charlie (secretly happy to get the passenger seat) asked Gus to drop her off at her apartment before he headed back to work. She could hear Shawn calling out to them as they drove away, but she ignored him, choosing, instead, to strike up conversation with Gus about how his job was going. Gus talked her head off the whole twenty minute car ride and she promised to take him to lunch later in the week before waving at him as he drove off.
Charlie made herself chicken fettuccini alfredo for dinner before relaxing in her claw-foot tub, surrounded by bubbles, holding her glass of whiskey in one hand and an informative book on skydiving in the other.
-(*)-
Charlie grumbled out curses as her alarm went off the next morning at seven; she had to roll out of bed to get ready for work. After her shower, she wandered out into the kitchen, wearing just a towel, to start her coffee machine, when something caught her attention out of the corner of her eye. She let out a small shriek and reached for a knife from her knife block before she realized that it was just Shawn and Gus, sitting on her couch.
"Well, at least you did better at defending yourself than Gus here did," Shawn mused as Charlie slammed the knife down on her counter, making Shawn and Gus jump.
"What the fuck is wrong with you two?!" she screamed out. "I could have been naked! I could have had a fucking gun!"
Shawn, flushing slightly, ignored her and said, "I've made a big break in the case and I know who kidnapped him."
"You know what? I don't care!" Charlie shouted, storming back to her bedroom. She took a deep breath and thought for a minute. She bit her lip, wanting to know who did it. It was a real-life murder and dammit, she was curious! She slowly wandered back out to her living room, Shawn smiling at her.
"Alright, who did it?" she asked, leaning against the wall.
"Nobody," Shawn said, repeating what he had told Gus an hour before.
"What the hell, Shawn?" Charlie growled, turning to go back to her room.
"Wait, wait!" Shawn called, making her pause. "Nobody did it because he did it himself. Here, I'll show you!"
He lay out a bunch of newspaper clippings and pictures out on the table, keeping quiet while Charlie looked over them, seeing what Shawn had seen.
"Okay, I get it now," she said after five minutes, heading to get her coffee. "He had to clean up his act or daddy dearest was going to cut him off. Story of just about every celebrity brat. That guy." She pointed at a man in the photo. "That guy helped him do it, somehow."
"That's Malcolm Orso," Shawn input. "He claims he hasn't seen him for eighteen months, nearly to the day. He's been planning this thing for over a year."
"Holy shit," Charlie breathed and then something occurred to her. "Where did you get these pictures, Shawn?"
"Katarina's bedroom," Shawn said in nonchalance.
"Seriously?" Charlie groaned. "That's a bit pathetic, Shawn."
"Well, let's go," Shawn said (ignoring her pathetic comment) and then noticed something. "You should probably go get dressed first."
"I can't go, Shawn. I have to go to work this morning," Charlie said, heading for her bedroom.
"Well, at least let us give you a ride to work," Shawn said, using his puppy-dog face.
"Fine," Charlie grumbled. She went to her room, pulling on jeans and a button-up flannel shirt and pulled on her combat boots. She pulled her hair into a messy bun and grabbed her military jacket and satchel on the way out the door. Her door had only been shut for a second before she raced back in and grabbed a travel mug of coffee.
She climbed into the backseat of the Blueberry, sipping her coffee and popping her neck, not entirely awake. Twenty minutes and a doze in the backseat later, she sat up straight, looking around out the window. They weren't anywhere near the library. Actually, they weren't anywhere in Santa Barbara.
"Where the hell are we?" Charlie growled in panic, seeing them surrounded by green woods.
"Following a lead," Shawn answered from the driver's seat.
"What the fuck, Shawn?" she screeched. "I have to go to work! I'm gonna get fired!"
"Relax, Charlie," Shawn said, using his soothing voice. "I'll get you back to work before lunch time."
Charlie fumed in the backseat the rest of the trip, arms crossed and sending dark looks into the rearview mirror. They pulled over at the side of the road, the three of them getting out of the car, Shawn pulling a pair of binoculars out of his pocket and exclaimed, "Dudes, I'm so excited. This is my first use of spy technology."
"Such an idiot," Charlie grumbled under her breath.
"Yeah, it would seem much cooler if it didn't have Sports Illustrated pasted on the side," Gus inputted, sniggering after hearing Charlie's comment. They stopped at the edge of a lake, a cabin and a sweet (in Charlie's opinion) yellow muscle car parked in front of it; she couldn't be sure, but it looked like a Chevy Chevelle.
"Hmmm, it came with the subscription," Shawn commented, looking through the binoculars.
"Are you gonna tell me why we're here?" Gus huffed
"This is the Orso family cabin, where young Malcolm and young Camden spent all their summer growing up," Shawn said, checking it out through the binoculars.
"Wouldn't the police have checked this out?" Gus asked.
"Not if they weren't smart enough to do so," Charlie grumbled, snatching the binoculars from Shawn, using them to see the sweet car.
"She's right," Shawn said, patting Charlie's shoulder, which she shrugged off. "Malcolm is so fat out on the periphery of Camden's life. He's not on the witness list, he's not on anybody's list. This is a great plan. Camden McCallum deserves to be commended.
"Maybe you should date him, too," Gus sneered out.
"Maybe I will," Shawn said in retaliation.
"Oh, shut up," Charlie snarled, handing the binoculars to Gus when he held out his hand for them.
"Oh, no way!" Gus exclaimed after a moment.
"What?" Shawn and Charlie both asked.
"It's Camden's dog!" Gus said, excited.
"Get…Dudes! Dudes!" Shawn suddenly exclaimed.
"Oh, my gosh! I can't believe we did this! This is unbelievable!" Gus exclaimed, excited. Charlie was also getting excited, despite her bad mood. Shawn started jumping up and down, flapping his hands in a ridiculous motion. Charlie smacked him on the back of the head, taking the binoculars back from Gus, easily spotting the dog running around.
"What! What! Okay, okay, wait. Look. Okay, wait. Let's call the cops. No, no, no. Let's call the chief! That's what we're gonna do. Call the chief. Yeah!" Gus said, also getting excited. Charlie pulled her cell phone out, ready to dial the police station before Shawn started yelling, "No, no, no. No, no, no."
He took Charlie's phone from her and nearly threw it in the lake before she stomped on his foot, shouting, "Don't you fucking dare!" causing Shawn to drop her phone right in her hand. She stuck it in her pocket, giving Gus the binoculars back.
"We don't call anyone," Shawn said, after he finished hoping around on his sore foot and shooting Charlie a dirty look; she crossed her arms and stuck her tongue out at him.
"What?" Gus asked, confused as to why Shawn didn't want him or Charlie to call anyone. He also took a step away from Charlie, scared of her temper, which he had witnessed several times throughout his life and had resulted in injuries before.
"We don't call anyone and then later, at headquarters, I suddenly and miraculously have a vision," Shawn said, jumping again, but quickly stopped when Charlie stared at him. She took a sip of her coffee; hanging around Shawn for too long gave her a headache.
"A vision?" Gus asked.
"A vision of stuff we saw! Like the road sign with two bullet holes. Like the red kayak, the yellow kayak, and the highway. With numbers? Oh, I'm seeing…Eight, three, one…." Shawn said, holding his fingers up to his head in a strange fashion.
"We're on Highway 138," Gus informed him.
"Exactly," Shawn said. "In the spirit world, things get jumbled and out of sequence. But my premonition becomes clearer when we all jump in the squad car together. By the way, let me sit next to that junior detective."
"The lady detective?" Charlie asked and Shawn nodded and Charlie added, "Eh, the tall one is much hotter."
"Shawn, Charlie, please," Gus sighed at them.
"And alas, we'd lead them here," Shawn continued as if Gus hadn't spoken. "And finally, we both put on our surprised faces as I guide them to the cabin for the first time. This is mine."
Shawn did a practice gasp and then asked, "What do you two have?"
Charlie snorted as Gus looked disappointed and they both walked away, heading back to the Blueberry.
"Gus, Charlie! That's horrible! They don't convey surprise at all! Gus! Charlie!" Shawn called, running after them.
The three of them took the drive back to SBPD and Charlie looked at her watch, groaning when she realized that it was too late for her to go to work. She may as well call them, telling them that she had woken up sick and was recuperating.
"All right, let me do the talking," Shawn said as they walked down the street towards the station.
"Is there even an option?" Gus snorted.
"No, I want—I want a lot of witnesses for my miraculous vision," Shawn argued.
"Oh, man," Charlie groaned, rubbing her face.
"Yeah, yeah," Gus agreed with Shawn, patting Charlie's shoulder. "There they go. There they go."
"Detectives! Detectives!" Shawn called after Detectives Lassiter and Lucinda. "Detectives, we have a breakthrough! It's very important."
"I also have something important," Lassiter said, eyeing Charlie, who scowled at him, holding up her wrist, which was bruised (Lassiter felt a twinge of guilt). "I call it lunch. Make an appointment."
"No, no, no," Shawn input. "But this is…"
"You don't have my interest," Lassiter said. "You don't have my ear. Find a beat cop, tell your story, maybe I'll read the report. Good day, gentlemen, lady."
"Asshole," Charlie snorted, Lassiter hearing her and gave her a glare. "And I'm not really a lady."
"You know that's right," Gus said with a grin, which disappeared with a squeak when Charlie glared at him. They followed after the detectives to just outside a Mexican restaurant, with Shawn calling out, "Detective!" He stuck his fingers up to his head again, doing his weird psychic hand motion and said, "Don't eat the chicken."
"Don't eat the chicken?" Gus questioned, as they waited out in the parking lot. Charlie leaned against the railing lighting a cigarette while Gus continued, "So, the plan was to annoy them into believing you."
"Billy Camp's working the grill," Shawn explained.
"So?" Gus asked.
"So? Billy Camp has the worst hay fever I've ever seen. Feel this wind? Feel it?" Shawn asked passionately. Charlie snorted and stamped out her cigarette as Lassiter stomped over to them.
"Here we go. Act natural," Shawn told them.
"Already am," Charlie said to him, making him smile.
"Okay, what is it!?" Lassiter shouted at them as he neared them.
"I've had a psychic vision," Shawn declared, holding his hand up to his head. "I know where Camden McCallum is."
It seemed that was all it took for Lassiter to load the three of them in his car and drive out to the woods. Once again, Charlie was by the lake, this time smoking while Shawn was practicing his shocked reaction.
"All right, this is great. Now what?" Lassiter snapped at them. Charlie smirked at his grumpy demeanor, crushing her cigarette butt under her boot.
"Does anyone have any binoculars?" Shawn asked.
"No," Lassiter growled. "No, you see, we don't carry binoculars."
"Well, you should," Charlie snarked at him, making him glare at her.
"Oh, never mind, I found some here in my pocket," Shawn said, wanting to break up a train wreak (he knew how bad of a temper Charlie had and from just having met Lassiter, he, too, had a temper) spoke quickly, looking through the binoculars he pulled out.
"There it is! Just like I saw it!" Shawn said, using his fake surprise. Charlie had to cough to cover up a snort as Lassiter grabbed the binoculars from Shawn.
"You wanna tell me what I'm looking for, please?" Lassiter snarled.
"Aw, he said 'please'," Charlie said sarcastically. Lassiter growled at her but she couldn't help it; it was just too much fun to wind him up.
"Uh, I'm not sure exactly. I see a bone," Shawn said, trying to 'focus' on his vision.
"What? A human bone?" Lassiter asked.
"No, no, rawhide, and a ball," Shawn said as Lassiter saw the dog running around.
"Holy crap!" he exclaimed. "Call for backup."
"What? What do you see, Detective?" Shawn asked in an overly-fake voice.
Charlie elbowed him in the ribs, making him squeak in pain, as Gus called the Chief for backup. Charlie lit another cigarette (she was really trying to kick that habit) as they hiked around the lake to the cabin. She, Shawn, and Gus were practically shoved out of the way when the SWAT team arrived with a bunch of police. They received a very stern lecture from Lassiter to keep out of the way and definitely stay out of the cabin.
"I can't believe they won't let us in," Shawn whined like a five-year-old. "This is lame."
"And you were so polite when you asked the SWAT team to issue you the Luger," Gus said.
"Ugh, Lugers are not as good as my Glock," Charlie said, wrinkling her nose.
"D'you have it on you?" Shawn asked in excitement.
"Yes, I do, and no, you can't have it," Charlie said, making Shawn mock-pout.
"You're no fun," he said. "Just make sure you act in awe of me when they come to say I was completely right. Oh, and maybe a little afraid, like my powers could possible be used for evil."
Charlie snorted and said, "Dream on, Shawn. I think I can muster a surprised look, but that's it."
The dog suddenly ran up to the three of them and Charlie shrieked, running away from the dog, hiding behind Shawn and Gus.
"Oh, Watch out! Watch out!" Gus called out, struggling to back up with Charlie hanging off his shoulders.
"Keep it away from me!" she said, paling at the sight of the big dog. She had a bad experience with a dog when she was a kid (which had been provoked by Shawn) and had been terrified of them every since.
Shawn laughed at the two of them, petting the dog.
"For what, its tongue?" Shawn asked the two of them, grinning.
"That thing could be vicious," Gus snapped.
"It could rip us apart with its teeth," Charlie whispered, still hiding behind Gus.
"Yeah, and diabolical with its calculated decoy tail-wagging," Shawn mocked them.
"There's blood on its whiskers," Gus noticed.
"Holy shit," Charlie whimpered. "Its killed someone!"
"That's not blood," Shawn scoffed. "That's Snausages."
"Are you sure?" Gus asked.
"Yes, I'm sure," Shawn said. "It's either that or it swallowed a mountain lion. Come on, Gus. And Charlie, man up!"
"It's easy for you to say," Charlie whimpered. "You're the one that set that dog on me."
"Don't be a limp noodle, Charlie," Shawn scoffed as a policeman approached the three of them.
"Mr. Spencer, follow me," the officer asked.
Shawn turned to Gus and Charlie and said, "Now, if there's any press, make sure you mention our agency."
"We don't have an agency," Gus said.
"Yes, we do," Shawn explained. "I applied for a DBA online, which reminds me, we're gonna need a name. 'Mindmasters'? Already taken. Make sure you tell them that we do private cases, because I bet the department's only gonna be good for one or two a month."
"You tell them," Gus retorted childishly.
"I can't," Shawn whined. "I'm secretive, mysterious, enigmatic."
"Delusional," Gus said and Charlie nodded in agreement.
"Remember, act surprised," Shawn reminded them as the three of them entered the cabin. Charlie immediately wrinkled her nose at the smell that hit her nose and she couldn't believe that Shawn and Gus couldn't seem to smell it, especially with Gus' Super Sniffer.
"Wow, it is just like I saw before," Shawn said in mock-surprise. He turned and looked to see a dead man lying on the floor, blood leaking out from under him, and another dead man sitting at the table, holding a gun. Charlie looked at the scene with a mixture of excitement and revulsion, eyeing the two bodies in the cabin; they had found Camden and Malcolm.
"Pardon me, ladies, gentlemen," Gus said, before shoving Charlie out of the way to sprint outside, screaming like a little girl. Charlie sighed, rolling her eyes.
"I'll get him," Charlie said, chasing after Gus to find him bent over, breathing deeply, sick on the ground. She rubbed his back, startling him. She slowly led him back to Lassiter's car and helped him in the backseat and let him lay his head in her lap.
"Poor Gus," she said, rubbing his head for him as he whimpered. She rolled her eyes at Shawn and Lassiter as they came to the car and they made the long drive back to SBPD. They all gathered in the Chief's office (Gus being recovered by then), the Chief commending them for closing the case. Charlie couldn't help but feel as if something were missing, something very obvious.
"The department has been approved to call on you again, Mr. Spencer," the Chief told him. "And even though this case didn't end up exactly the way we'd hoped…" She handed Shawn a check and extended her hand, which he shook. "I thank you for your services. You were invaluable."
She then shook Gus' hand and then Charlie's, who grinned at the Chief.
"Thank you," she told the pair of them.
"You're making a huge mistake," Shawn argued. "This case isn't closed."
"Pardon me?" the Chief asked.
"Murder/Suicide?" Shawn asked. "Come on, you're buying that?"
"I'm not buying anything. Those are the facts," the Chief said.
"I buy it," Gus said. Charlie elbowed him in the ribs, shaking her head at him. It wasn't over and she knew it. Somehow, her gut was telling her that the whole time.
"I don't," Charlie said, nodding at Shawn.
"Thank you," Shawn told his friend. "I understand. I do. You'd like to shut the book on this one quickly as possible. That's fine."
"They had a falling out," the Chief said.
"Before they go the ransom money?" Shawn asked. "Why? What did they have to fight about before they got the cash."
"Might I remind you, Mr. Spencer, you are not a detective," the Chief said.
"I just need to speak to the witness again," Shawn tried to reason with her.
"The McCallum family has been through enough, and this conversation is over," the Chief said, hinting at them to get out of her office.
"Thank you," Gus said. "We parked in the parking structure, do you validate?"
"Would it make any difference if I told you Camden McCallum, Jr. spoke to me? From beyond the grave," Shawn said, desperate to talk to the witness.
"Please, Chief Vick," Charlie asked her politely.
The Chief just ignored them as she validated Gus' parking ticket before saying, "Shut the door on your way out."
"Damn it," Shawn cried out as they left her office.
"We'll just have to investigate this on our own," Charlie growled out, crossing her arms.
"What are you two doing?" Gus hissed at them. "That was the Chief of Police."
"Interim Chief," Shawn corrected him. "And have you considered that Camden McCallum may have been alive the first time we went to that cabin?"
"No," Gus said, frowning at them.
"Well, I have!" Shawn said, watching as Mr. McCallum shook hands with Lassiter.
"Gus, there's something we're missing," Charlie said, trying to get him to see. "There's no way they died that way. I mean, they were best friends."
"I'm considering murdering you and Shawn," Gus hissed at her, only to receive an elbow to the gut.
"We need to talk to that guy," Shawn said, starting towards Mr. McCallum.
"Whoa, whoa, no!" Gus said, stopping Shawn from walking any further.
"Come on, Gus, just for a second," Shawn argued. "The man is practically almost my father-in-law."
"Make no mistake, Shawn, I will kill you," Gus threatened.
"And I'll help him," Charlie said, glaring at him. "And they'll never find your body."
"Okay, I appreciate the fact that you, Gus, think you can beat me up, but I think our last scuffle proves otherwise," Shawn said, letting out a snort.
"Are you talking about the Cinnamon Festival?" Gus asked in disbelief.
"Yes! You do remember," Shawn exclaimed.
"Okay, first of all, I was six," Gus said, "and I had a cast, which was Charlie's fault!"
"It wasn't my fault you stole my bike and I simply shoved you off to reclaim my stolen property," Charlie said, waving her hand like it was no big deal, to which Gus glared at her.
"Besides, many would constitute a cast as a clear advantage," Shawn said, shrugging his shoulders. "It's like having a weapon attached to your arm. Besides, I'm much more terrified of Charlie than I am of you, Gus."
"You know that's right," Gus said, a stutter in his voice, stepping away from his best female friend.
"And let's keep it that way, boys," Charlie said cheerfully as Chief Vick pointed at them.
"Oh, great, now the Chief is staring right at us," Shawn said, distracting both Gus and Charlie, just long enough for him to slip away over to where Mr. McCallum was in the conference room.
"Oh, shit," Charlie growled after she realized she had been tricked. She grabbed Gus' arm, and despite his protest, pulled him over to where Detective Lucinda was guarding the conference room where Mr. McCallum was with Lassiter.
"Chief wants him left alone," Lucinda told Shawn, whom was looking over her shoulder into the conference room.
"Well, we all want to be left alone," Shawn said, shrugging his shoulders and smiling.
"Yes, some more than others."
"What's with the wrist?" Shawn asked, indicating to the bandage wrapped around Mr. McCallum's wrist.
"You don't give up, do you?" Detective Lucinda asked, shaking her head in disbelief and a bit of awe.
"I do give up all the time," Shawn said, correcting her. "But not until the moment is right."
"Not when there's a murderer on the loose," Charlie added, crossing her arms and leaning against the stucco/tiled wall.
"She's right," Shawn said. "Now, come on, I know you don't think this adds up, either."
"Okay, rumor is, he tried to off himself," Detective Lucinda said, finally breaking.
"Off himself? The war hero? The man who's seen everything? No, that's not it. That's definitely not it." Shawn shook him head, disagreeing. Charlie was shocked for a moment before furrowing her eyebrows and shaking her own head. No, this man didn't try to commit suicide; Shawn was right, that wasn't it.
"You know everything, don't you?" Lucinda asked.
"Yeah, it's scary, isn't it?" Shawn asked, smirking as Charlie rolled her eyes at Gus, who snorted but covered it up as a cough. "Look, something is going on, and I'm gonna find out what it is."
At that particular moment, Lassiter left the conference room and barked out, "No, you're not going anywhere near that man. In fact, I'm gonna make certain you never hear from the department again."
"Whoa!" Shawn exclaimed, grabbing his head. "I'm getting strong vibrations that you might be wrong."
"I'm on to you," Lassiter snarled at the trio. "You've got a source somewhere and I'm gonna find it. You think this is some sort of game? I'm not gonna let you just waltz around here like some kid in a candy store."
"Let me be honest with you Detective," Shawn said, rather smugly, Charlie thought. "I used to work in a candy store and it's nothing like this."
"You're in over your head, mystic," Lassiter snapped before turning on heel and walking away.
"Or maybe you're in over yours, Detective," Charlie called out before leaving the station with Shawn and Gus, not even looking back at Lassiter's expression, which was equal parts confusion and rage.
-(*)-
Carlton Lassiter stared open-mouthed at the red-haired woman that had just smugly insulted him. She was about five-four, but more than made up for her shortness with her fiery temper that she had displayed the few times that he had run into her. It both infuriated him and strangely captivated (and he felt guilt at injuring her wrist). He had to admit that he had stared at her ass as she had left with Spencer and that other one (he couldn't be bothered to remember his name). He scowled as he shut down his unnatural thoughts immediately.
He just didn't see how a woman like that could be friends with Spencer. Maybe they were dating….
What the hell? he wondered to himself. Where had that come from and why the fuck did he even care? Well, he didn't, he snarled to himself, storming back to his desk (he had been standing in the open, gaping like an idiot) to start one of his next open cases, putting the woman, Charlotte Matthews (he did a background check on her after meeting her), out of his mind.
-(*)-
Charlie stomped up the stairs to her apartment (the elevator was out of service) to get ready for her shift at the garage. After changing into her greasy work clothes and tying the sleeves of her coveralls around her waist, she called the library, apologizing for not making her shift that morning, coming up with the excuse that she was sick and had been sleeping on and off all day. She even used a weak, sick voice to throw off her boss, causing her to snort, which she covered up as a massive coughing fit. Satisfied that she wouldn't be losing her job, she went back downstairs, unlocking her bike, riding it down to Joe's garage, which was down near the boardwalk.
Before clocking in, she called Shawn and firmly told him (more like threatened to disembody him and bury him) that she was working, keep her informed on the case via text only, but under no circumstance were him and Gus to come and bug her at work, unless it was life or death (which she went over with him; he considered life or death very differently than she did). She made him repeat all of this back to her before she was satisfied and hung up.
Eight hours and a full engine overhaul later (as well as repairing a carburetor), Charlie headed home at ten p.m., exhausted. She planned on maybe heading to the gym that was around the corner from her apartment (to work on her kickboxing skills) and then taking a hot shower before finally going to bed. Those plans were futile, though.
Climbing up the four flights of stairs to her apartment, Charlie groaned at the sight of her door open just a crack. She pulled her Beretta M9 (she had swapped it out with her Glock; she owned many guns) but kept the safety on as she slowly pushed her door open. She (as silently as she could) shut the door and locked it behind her and stealthily entered her living room to find Shawn and Gus chowing down on her leftover chicken alfredo that she had planned on eating for dinner.
"For fucks sake!" she exclaimed. "Can't you just call like normal people? D'you really have to keep breaking into my apartment?"
"Is it breaking in if I had a copy of your key made?" Shawn asked smoothly.
"I don't think so," Gus said, taking another bite of food.
"Seriously?" Charlie growled, running a hand through her hair. "Okay, just tell me what you found (since you didn't bother to text me) before I start strangling you both. I have a feeling that Lassiter would let me off scot free. Hell, he may even give me a damn metal."
Both Shawn and Gus visibly gulped before Shawn (with Gus interrupting at certain points) told her that Katarina wasn't the murderer, but someone in that house had paid a ransom.
"My money's still on the dad," Charlie said, yawning as she stretched. She snatched the container of food from Shawn and Gus, finishing it off. "You guys can see yourselves out," she said, narrowing her eyes at them. She left the dirty dishes by the sink, knowing she'd get to them eventually and headed off to her bedroom. She shut her door before she changed, knowing good and well that the boneheads weren't going to leave (Shawn and Gus were making themselves comfy on her couches at that moment). She sighed and closed her eyes, snuggling under her blankets, and fell asleep, her dreams filled with a certain lanky detective.
-(*)-
The next morning (all her dreams forgotten), Charlie shuffled out into the living room, kicking Shawn and Gus awake. Gus gave a very girly shriek (much like he the previous day at seeing the bodies) before falling to the floor with an oof!
After fixing a breakfast of French toast, hash browns, and bacon, (and forcing Shawn and Gus to do the dishes and cleanup afterwards) Charlie retreated to her bedroom with her coffee (she never went a morning without it; she was a caffeine addict) and started getting ready for the day.
She put on a pair of black leather shorts and a Metallica tank top, as well as her military jacket that she loved. She had to dig for a bit, but she finally pulled out a pair of gladiator sandals (that she had only worn a handful of times). She then sat down at her vanity and started to apply makeup, which she rarely did, but since she had the day off from work, she thought, what the hell. She finished brushing her hair and applying red lipstick and went back to the kitchen to find Gus finishing up the dishes and Shawn relaxing on the couch.
"Just leave them, Gus Gus," she said, rubbing his head affectionately, like she had when they were kids (the nickname had come from Cinderella, which was her favorite Disney movie, but she refused to acknowledge it). She was in a very good mood that morning, choosing to ignore Gus' glare at the nickname, and eager to start. "Let's get this show on the road! Where to, Shawn?"
"I want to apologize to Katarina," Shawn said, a guilty look on his face.
"Good luck with that, but let's go anyways," Charlie said, grabbing her satchel. She let Shawn and Gus exit first and then locked her door behind her, giving Shawn a pointed look, knowing Gus only followed him. It had been the same all through their childhoods. Shawn led, Gus followed, and Charlie usually beat them for being idiots and tried to keep them in line.
"I'm telling you, there's no way Katarina's gonna talk to you," Gus told Shawn after they pulled up in front of the McCallum Estate, exiting the Blueberry.
"Yeah, well, I sort of lied about that part," Shawn admitted. "We're not here to see Katarina."
"Who are we here to see?" Gus asked in confusion.
"A murder suspect," Charlie said, catching on to Shawn's plan with a smirk as Mr. McCallum walked down the stairs to them.
"This is highly inappropriate, Mr. Spencer. The investigation is over," Mr. McCallum growled at them, eyeing them in distaste.
"What if they got the wrong man?" Shawn asked, watching Mr. McCallum's reaction closely.
"And who would the right man me?" Mr. McCallum asked.
"You," Shawn simply said.
Mr. McCallum sighed and led the trio through the house, showing them into his study. Charlie, having forgotten to do so the other day, snuck the photo of Bill out of her satchel and set it down discreetly as she walked past a shelf.
"Mr. McCallum, I didn't have anything to do with this," Gus said, trying to clear his name and Charlie elbowed him in the gut to shut him up, receiving a glare from him as he coughed.
"And I'm with Shawn on this. I think you're a guilty man, Mr. McCallum," Charlie snarled at the man.
"I killed my own son?" Mr. McCallum asked in disbelief.
"Makes you feel any better, I don't think you meant to," Shawn said, shrugging his shoulders.
"You're not a detective. You're not even cops," Mr. McCallum snarled at them.
"You're right," Shawn admitted. "But Charlie's damn stubborn and I'm a psychic. And I saw the whole thing. I see a ransom drop. You're doing everything they ask, you didn't call the police, you're thinking of nothing but the security of your son. After all, what's $5 million to you? You're driving away. I can see it. Something strange happens. You recognize the car. You pass it on the hill. It's Malcolm Orso's. You've seen it hundreds of times at your house, ever since high school. Maybe it confirmed the suspicion that you already have. You know where they are. You know the cabin." Shawn broke off for a moment as he had another 'vision.' "He's making coffee. You didn't mean to kill him, did you? No, just knock him around a little bit, teach him a lesson, but he falls on the floor, he slams his head on the oak table. He's dead. You know he's dead. Orso walks in. Finds you. He's got a half-assed pistol, but he's no criminal. You know there's only one way to cover your tracks. You take care of him, too. Make it look like a suicide. Then, you come home, inform the police, and you wait. You wait for a ransom call that will never come. Police eat it up. It's easy to look shaken after all you've done. You might even be willing to take your own life. You have an overactive imagination."
Shawn took a breath after finishing his rant and Charlie put a hand on Gus' shoulder as he looked like he was going to vomit everywhere. He gave her a grateful look over his shoulder.
"Perhaps a side-effect of your gift," Mr. McCallum sneered.
"Shawn, we need to go," Gus said and Charlie wrinkled her nose at him.
"Not yet," Shawn said.
"I'm about to throw up on a Turkish carpet," Gus argued.
"No, you're not," Shawn retorted.
"It's in my esophagus," Gus whined.
"I think you should listen to him, Shawn," Charlie said, stepping back from a gagging Gus.
"The second door on the left, turn on the fan and flush," Shawn huffed as Gus darted out of the room.
"I will not have this incident rehashed over and over again," Mr. McCallum growled out.
"Well, that's too bad, then, isn't it?" Charlie sneered at the man.
"Now, see here," Mr. McCallum shouted at her. "You can't just come in here and make accusations like that."
"Well, I just did, didn't I?" Charlie retorted. Shawn put a hand on her shoulder to calm her down before turning back to Mr. McCallum.
"I know what your relationship was with your son," Shawn told him.
"Oh, really," Mr. McCallum scoffed.
"I have a father that I disappoint all the time," Shawn said and Charlie snorted at that understatement, causing Shawn to throw a glare at her.
"I'm sure you do," Mr. McCallum said, eyeing Shawn.
"I know how you feel," Shawn said. "This is it. This was the straw that broke the camel's back, wasn't it? To think, eighteen months ago, he sat across from you, looked you right in the eye and said, 'Dad, I'm gonna clean up my act this time. This time I'm gonna change, I swear.' To know that he duped you and you fell for it all over again, must've sent you into a state that even you can't believe."
"Mr. Spencer," Mr. McCallum said, getting up from his chair, "I've been assured by the Lieutenant Governor that this case will not cast a pall over my family, but I can assure you, it's gonna cast one over yours.:
"My very first case and I'm already being threatened. Wow!" Shawn exclaimed.
"Well, you're not doing you're job right if you didn't get threatened," Charlie chuckled.
"Shawn, let's go," Gus said, entering the room.
"I'm not quite finished," Shawn argued.
"We're going, now," Gus said, indicating to Charlie that she help him drag Shawn out, if need be.
"Listen to your friend," Mr. McCallum threatened.
"I'll be back," Shawn said, as Gus pulled him out of the room.
"No, you won't," Mr. McCallum said smugly.
"Let's get one thing clear, Mr. McCallum," Charlie snarled at him as Gus pulled Shawn out of the house. "Anything happens to Shawn and you'll have to answer to me. Just to let you know, I carry a gun on me at all times. Wouldn't want an accident to happen, now would we?"
She gave him a sweet and innocent smile as he sputtered and left the house to the Blueberry.
"It wasn't the right track," Gus was telling Shawn as she caught up with them.
"Oh, you're the expert now?" Shawn scoffed at Gus.
"Don't be rude," Charlie scolded Shawn, smacking his arm, making him cry out, 'Ow!'
"Thank you," Gus told Charlie and then turned to Shawn. "Consumine."
"What?" Shawn asked in confusion; Charlie was also confused as to what Gus was saying.
"Consumine," Gus repeated. "It's for dog bites. I have some samples."
"What about it?" Charlie asked Gus, crossing her arms.
"Yes, Gus, what are you saying to us?" Shawn asked.
"I'm saying there was a bottle of it in the medicine cabinet, prescribed Wednesday," Gus said smugly. "You wonder why he had on that long-sleeved shirt in the heat that first day?"
"Oh, my gosh!" Shawn exclaimed. "That dog did have blood on its teeth."
"I told you it wasn't Snausages," Gus said.
"And I told you both that dogs are evil," Charlie said, shuddering.
"You didn't say that," Gus said in confusion.
"Fine, then I was thinking it," Charlie growled.
"We're never getting back in there," Gus said as they sat in the car, watching the house.
"It doesn't help that I threatened him for threatening Shawn," Charlie admitted.
"Aw, that's so sweet of you to say," Shawn cooed at her and then told Gus, "Just give me a second."
"What are you doing?" Gus asked as Shawn closed his eyes and put his fingers on his temple.
"I'm thinking," Shawn said.
"You look ridiculous," Gus said and Charlie snorted in agreement. Shawn whipped out his cell phone, then. Charlie looked closely at the phone and realized that it was hers. She patted down her pockets and came up empty.
"I picked your pocket in the house," Shawn told her, seeing her scowl.
"Now what are you doing?" Gus asked, sighing.
"Calling the cops," Shawn said.
"You heard the guy in there," Gus said incredulously. "They're never gonna come."
"I'm not calling the cops on him," Shawn explained. "I'm calling the cops on us. Gus, Charlie, we need this to play out in front of an audience, with all the major players in place."
"Santa Barbara Police Department," a woman on the phone answered.
Shawn lowered his voice and said, "Yes, hello. I'm calling from the McCallum residence. There's an intruder here. He simply won't leave. He's claiming to be a psychic that works for your department."
"Pardon me?" the woman asked as Shawn indicated at Charlie to say something.
"Oh, my gosh, I'm so scared!" Charlie said in a high pitched, very girly (and very unlike her) voice. "They're so creepy!"
"Mr. McCallum is enraged and he wants this handled by the highest authority possible. Please send the Chief immediately."
"Nice job," Charlie commented when Shawn hung up and then handed her phone back to her.
"Thanks, you, too," Shawn grinned and then addressed Gus, "Did you really vomit?"
"Ew, Shawn," Charlie said, wrinkling her nose. "I don't think we really need to know that."
"And no, Shawn, it was just a ruse to investigate," Gus said in a matter-of-fact tone. The trio sat silently as they waited for the police to show up, which, eventually, they did. Charlie knew what was going to happen as they got out of the car and she was right as Lassiter and Lucinda immediately marched over and arrested the three of them.
"Not how I like to use handcuffs, Detective," Charlie smirked at Lassiter, who flushed a bright pink.
"S-Shut up!" he stuttered and then turned to slap handcuffs on Shawn, saying, "Yeah, it's times like this I remember why I love my job so much."
"Anytime, Shawn," Gus hissed at Shawn, uncomfortable in his handcuffs.
"He's getting cocky, give it a sec," Shawn said.
"We're gonna be a city jail in a sec," Gus retorted.
"Yeah, I'd really like to not go to jail, Shawn," Charlie said to Shawn, not really bothered, knowing that they would get out this jam in a few minutes.
"Uh-huh," Lassiter smirked. "Here we are."
Lassiter led Shawn over to a squad car, banging his head as he went to force Shawn in the backseat.
"Oh, I'm sorry," Lassiter mock-apologized. "Did that hurt?"
"Aaah!" Shawn exclaimed, jerking around like he was having a seizure, having a 'vision.' "Something's happening. Gus! Charlie! Something's happening!"
"He's having a vision!" Charlie gasped in 'surprise', causing a very fleeting look of astonishment to cross Shawn's face before he resumed his 'vision.'
"Stop it!" Lassiter growled. Shawn weaseled his way out of Lassiter's grip and fell to the lawn, jerking around in his handcuffs. If Charlie would have had a free hand, she would have slapped a palm to her face; he looked so ridiculous.
"The dog!" Shawn exclaimed, making Charlie pale slightly at the mention of the beast (she would never forgive Shawn for mentally scarring her for the rest of her life).
"Shut up," Lassiter scowled, trying to grab Shawn's arm again.
"He's biting the intruder," Shawn gasp. "He knows him. It's someone he knows! The dog knows him!"
"Stop talking," Lassiter snarled.
"Ouch! Ouch! The teeth are digging in!" Shawn yelled out, causing Charlie to whimper in fear, her eyes darting around, making sure the dog was nowhere in sight.
"Shut up!" Lassiter shouted.
"Now there's blood!" Shawn said and Gus looked a little sick. Lassiter pulled Shawn up from the lawn as Shawn let out a scream and Lassiter had to half carry/half shove Shawn back to the car, but didn't quite make it before Shawn had another outburst.
"It's him, it's McCallum!" Shawn cried out, fighting Lassiter. "I can see his face! The killer is McCallum! Check his wrist! Check his right wrist! The teeth marks will match up!"
"Get him out of here!" Mr. McCallum yelled at the Chief.
"Check the wrist!" Shawn yelled again.
"No one is checking any part of me!" Mr. McCallum scowled.
"Why not?" the Chief asked and Charlie smirked at the man's idiocy, momentarily forgetting her fear of dogs (but still keeping an eye out, just in case).
"Huh?" Mr. McCallum asked in confusion.
"We could close this out immediately, discredit him right here," the Chief said, raising an eyebrow at the man. "That's an awful would you have bandaged there."
"This is outrageous!" Mr. McCallum cried out, insulted. "Do you really want to do this?"
"I could do this now or I could call in a warrant," the Chief threatened.
"I'll call my lawyer," Mr. McCallum retorted.
"I'll be right here," the Chief said, smirking.
"I'm seeing a doctor! I'm seeing a doctor, Dr. Mandali, and a word, 'Consumine!' Yeah, it's for dog bites! The wound is fresh! Check the wound! It's a fresh wound, it's still a fresh wound!" Shawn screamed out. Charlie knew that if he hadn't been in handcuffs, his fingers would be at his head as he had his 'vision.' There was a slight pause before:
"It was an accident, I didn't…" Mr. McCallum stammered out his admission.
"What?" Lassiter asked in disbelief, pausing with his trying to shove Shawn to the squad car.
"Sergeant," the Chief ordered and an officer stepped forward saying, "This way, sir."
Charlie grinned at Gus as the officer slapped handcuffs of Mr. McCallum. Gus returned the smile before turning to Detective Lucinda and said, "You wanna take these cuffs off of us, please?"
"Yes, please take them off," Charlie begged, her wrists hurting her.
"Thank you," Gus told Detective Lucinda.
"How 'bout it, Detective?" Charlie asked Lassiter, smirking at him. He flushed as he unlocked her handcuffs. "My thanks, Detective," she purred to him, giving a cackle as he stuttered before walking away her. He was just too easy to mess with; not to mention very sexy, in her opinion. Gus looked away from her, very uncomfortable (she had forgotten he was even there).
"Oh, lighten up, Gus," Charlie scowled at him, smacking his arm. "I am allowed to have fun, you know."
"Yeah, but you don't have to do it in front of me," Gus said uncomfortably before also walking away. Charlie glared at him before crossing her arms, proud of Shawn (though she'd never admit it to him; his ego was too big already).
"Seriously, how?" Detective Lassiter asked Shawn in equal parts awe and annoyance, standing by the 'psychic.'
"I wish I knew," Shawn said, shrugging, enraging the detective even further. He gave the three of them another glare (he gave Charlie an especially dark glare) and stormed away to join the Chief, who was leaving with the murderer.
"Do you think this pretty much ruins my chances with Katarina?" Shawn asked Gus and Charlie a hopeful look on his face.
"Shut up, you moron," Charlie growled at him, smacking the back of his head, making him wince and hiss, 'ouch!'
-(*)-
The next few days returned to normal for Charlie (going from the library to the garage every day and making very random stops by the gym when she had the time), which didn't involve running around, chasing a murderer. She found the article in the paper (which had excluded both hers and Gus' names, as they weren't as important) and cut it out, sticking it in a drawer in her kitchen for safe-keeping.
Three days later, Shawn stopped by her apartment (with Gus driving the Blueberry), claiming he had something important that he really needed to show her and Gus. Shawn took over driving (as Gus didn't know where they were going and Shawn refused to tell him) and drove them to a piece of beachfront property, showing them a building that said 'Psych- Private Psychic Detective' on the front window.
"Awesome!" Shawn exclaimed as Gus and Charlie looked at the building in confusion.
"What the hell is it?" Charlie asked, crossing her arms.
"'Psych'?" Gus asked incredulously. "As in gotcha?"
"Or as in psychic," Shawn explained. Charlie looked around as they entered the building, disappointed at the size of it; it was no bigger than a closet with only a desk and a folding chair inside.
"You named your fake detective agency 'Psych'? Why don't you just call it 'Hey, we're fooling you and the police department. Hope we don't make a mistake and someone dies because of it'."
"You know, Gus kinda does have a point," Charlie pointed out to Shawn. "And it's tiny."
"First of all, Gus, Charlie, that name is entirely too long, it would never fit on the window," Shawn said.
"Irrelevant," Charlie pointed out, glaring at Shawn.
"And secondly," Shawn said, ignoring Charlie's comment (which she scowled at), "the best way to convince people you're not lying to them, is to tell them you are! And Charlie, I plan to expand as soon as I can."
"Whatever, Shawn," Gus scoffed. "It's your agency, go for it."
"Actually, it's our agency," Shawn revealed to them.
"What?" Charlie asked in a flat voice as Shawn showed her and Gus a piece of paper.
"I put both of your names on the lease as well," Shawn said. "Tell me, does that look anything like either of your signatures? I gave it a shot."
"This better be a joke," Gus snapped, reading over the paper with Charlie reading over his shoulder.
"Seriously, Shawn?" Charlie snarled, instantly pissed off. "What the fuck?! I can barely afford my apartment and groceries. I can't pay for a building lease!"
"Don't worry, you won't have to do a thing," Shawn said in a soothing voice, trying to calm Charlie down. "I've worked out every last detail. And you won't have to pay a dime, Charlie; I've got it all fixed already. Gus will pay for you."
"I will?" Gus asked, not liking that at all.
"Well, yeah, you make more money than she does, dude," Shawn said and Gus bobbed his head in agreement.
"Thanks, Gus," Charlie said, giving him a friendly punch to the shoulder, which he winced at.
"What's your dental plan?" Gus asked, rubbing his arm in pain.
"Don't get cavities," Shawn said, shrugging.
"Health plan?" Gus asked.
"Same, but with hepatitis and shingles," Shawn said.
"So, Charlie and I are supposed to quit our jobs, skip over and do this for no guaranteed money," Gus asked in disbelief.
"No guaranteed money, but all guaranteed fun," Shawn said.
"No!" Gus exclaimed. "No more cases, Shawn. It was fun for a few days."
"As much as I love solving mysteries, I agree with Gus," Charlie said apologetically to Shawn. "I can't quit my jobs; I'd be homeless if I did."
"Well, it's gonna have to be fun for a minimum of six months, or we'll have to pay a lease penalty, which would be a blemish on your otherwise very impressive credit report, Gus. And money you don't even have, Charlie."
"I will hurt you, Shawn," Charlie growled at him, taking a step towards him. He shrank back slightly, before clearing his throat.
"You solved one mystery and now you're renting office space?" Gus asked incredulously.
"Yeah, that's a bit overkill," Charlie said, sitting on the desk that was in the room, crossing her legs.
"Gus, Charlie, I've solved a bunch of mysteries," Shawn said. "For instance, the mystery of who kept stealing your newspapers, Gus. Answer: me! The mystery of who kept egging your bedroom window, Charlie. Again, answer: me! The mystery of what the three of us are doing this weekend. Hint, it involves dragsters, and finally, the mystery that is the case the Chief just brought me in on."
"You got another case already?" Gus asked, surprised, instantly forgiving (or just not registering) what Shawn had said. Charlie didn't, though, and planned on retaliating.
"A car thief got poisoned by his boss," Shawn explained. "He used something over the counter. Fizadine. No, Fizaderbal. No…uh…"
"Fizadrine?" Gus asked.
"That's it!" Shawn said happily.
"Wow," Gus said, getting into it. "How'd he do that?"
"I'll tell you on the way," Shawn said.
"Just for today, right?" Gus asked.
"Absolutely," Shawn said. "Charlie?"
"Well, I have today off, so count me in," she said, giving in, knowing Shawn would just whine and beg until she did so. Also, she was pretty excited about solving another case.
Hmm, she thought. Maybe I should write a book or start a blog…