Reflections

She was staring again.

Aurora knew it wasn't very polite to stare. Her fairy godmothers had taught her this. No staring, no talking to strangers, no finger pointing. Avoid spiky, sparkling things was something Aurora herself had learnt that could be added to that list. She'd started to learn a lot of things on her own lately. Like for example that sometimes, staring is almost impossible to avoid.

It had been over a week now, since her dear Philip and the warrior woman came to rescue her. A week to accept that Philip was gone and get familiar with the idea of Mulan being a woman, fighting side by side with him. In Aurora's part of the magic kingdom, it was almost unheard of, except for the legends. Legends about women fighting for their right to rule a kingdom. Now, they had Queens on the throne who could hire all of the warriors they wanted to do the dirty work for them.

At first Aurora had thought that Mulan's dress up was just an act to make people respect her and leave her alone while she was being taken in under Philip's wing. She quickly learned that she was wrong. When Mulan had found those two women – Snow and Emma, or Mary and Margaret? It didn't matter; she had quickly tied their hands up and made them walk all the way behind their horses.

It was cruel. Aurora had told her. And Mulan had only stared at her with those dark eyes and said "No." She had of course tried to make Aurora see that it was the women who had brought the soul sucker with them. And this they'd admitted to be true. They were the ones who'd been trying to send it away from their world. Aurora hated them for it, but… cruelness wasn't in her nature.

At least there was something the two young women could agree on. Both Emma and Snow were now let out of their prison, but Aurora was still wary about them.
Neither she nor Mulan could forgive the people responsible for Philip's death. Mulan kept insisting that it was brotherly love she'd felt for Philip, but Aurora just couldn't believe her. It didn't make sense. She had a feeling.

Besides, it didn't surprise her. Philip had been an amazing person. She loved him dearly, though she didn't really know him that well. And he'd treated her just the same as everyone else. Like a fragile thing. Some women might find that flattering. But Aurora, growing up being treated like that every single day, became sick of it. But she didn't have the heart to argue with them either. They only wanted what they thought was best for her, after all.

But Mulan was… different. She did talk as if Aurora was above her in some way, but she never worried about her being fragile. Slightly incapable, in the way at times and a typical girly princess, yes. But never fragile.

And now, Aurora couldn't stop staring. But she was quite discreet about it, really. If anyone came close to her, she made sure to look another way. Or start looking for something on the ground. The most effective way seemed to be when she swung her arms out and starting singing to herself, not too loud. People just ignored her or occasionally gave her a warm smile.

Those who hadn't seen Mulan couldn't possible understand what Aurora was going through. The Chinese woman always wore men's clothing, which made the princess a little bit nervous. Pants and belts, and boots! Boots, oh dear! She had a long, slender sword hanging by her side at all times. Except for when she was working on it.

But all of these things did not, weirdly enough, make her look like a man. Her chest was showing underneath her clothes, Aurora had realized to her embarrassment. Her lips were full and dark – like when you've had blackberries and don't wash. When she groomed her horse it was with soft, caring hands.

Her nose and chin was very girl-like, and her hair really, really long. Long and dark often put up in a bun or in a long pony tail. The funny thing about Mulans hair was that in the sun it would change from a thick black to a warm, hazelnut color. It was mesmerizing, the way it caught light and seemed to change with each jerk of her little, feminine head.

Weirdly enough it was the same with her eyelashes. And her eyes seemed to go from different shades of black depending on the mood she was in. Often when Mulan talked to Aurora, her eyes looked like big empty holes. But sometimes, they were like the shadows on a sunny afternoon. Other days they would be like the velvet night, without the stars in it. Cold, but beautiful and inviting. Sometimes they even looked like satin, black satin ready to dress you up for some ball at some castle that Aurora didn't know about.

Like the surface of a big, black lake. That was probably the best way to describe Mulan. It reflected back multiple things, but you were never sure what could really be hiding in the deep. Maybe a tiny little fish, maybe some dragon like sea monster. This made Aurora even more nervous.

Today it happened to be just so that Mulan had taken her sword far away from the group of tents and were sitting on the beach, slowly moving her hand back and forth over its egg. Her boots were deeply buried in the sand, like she was pushing them down hard, ready to get up to attack just if someone were to startle her.

Aurora was doing what she could with helping out. She was no warrior, but lately she'd started to hope it was possible to learn. It had only been a week, and she was still plucking up the courage to ask Mulan to teach her. She didn't want any of those rough, military men to do it. She'd been given a knife. Mulan had said she might need it someday, if she wasn't around. The Chinese woman was rough but she moved so smoothly and quickly, like a snake ready to strike. It surprised Aurora a lot of the time that no matter how manly Mulan could act and look at times, her actions could be so humble and caring.

At least for now, Aurora was taking the horses in turns to get the water up to their little built up village. This horse's name was Burt, an old fella who liked to go for walks but hated people riding him. So when Aurora came to put the halter on him, he whinnied happily and followed her around like a dog. She didn't really even need to hold onto the rope.

"There'll be a lot of those flowers you liked so much last time," Aurora said to him as they walked closer to Mulan. Aurora didn't want to alarm her, so they kept their distance, walking slowly. But she knew she would have to go down to the water eventually. Lucky enough the water was drinkable, all they had to do was put it through a filter.

Now though, Aurora stopped and stared again. Besides Burt's breathing in the back of her neck, she could hear a light, female voice singing to herself.

"Maybe I'm not meant to play this part…?"

.

.

Mulan dipped the cloth in the water and worked on the egg of the sword.

She'd been able to escape from the rest of the people in the camp. It wasn't easy to always be the right hand of someone. If it wasn't Philip it was some other king or knight. Men, they loved having a woman who could fight by their side. Well, after she'd proven herself by beating them in a one on one battle.

Mulan smiled at the memory of the surprised king dropping his sword, swallowing hard as her cool blade laid lovingly right under his chin. She didn't have to prove herself to Philip though. She'd saved him from a huge wolf on the edge of another kingdom.

The wolf had only been mildly cut, but somehow both Mulan and Philip had managed to scare it away in the early morning hours.

Philip had told her about his quest and Mulan had offered her help. It was a purpose she needed.

And now her brother, her friend, was dead. All because his obsession about saving a sleeping beauty he had once known.

She'd been able to see it in his eyes every time he'd talked about his few memories of her. It was almost as if his feelings had grown stronger with time. She'd never seen him so relieved, so happy when his kiss had woken her up. It had been almost painful to watch. She'd really been a sleeping beauty. But in an awaken state she was even more beautiful.

"Now I see,
If I were truly to be myself
I would break my family's heart…"

It reminded Mulan of home. Of her loving, old army father putting honor first. Of her sweet mother who's love for her husband came before everything else. Her crazy old grandmother who believed that pearls, apples and crickets could help change someone's luck. Mulan had realized trying to change one's fate was impossible. People should follow their hearts and do what they can to live the life they feel like they need to live of course, but some things were bound to happen no matter what. Life just worked that way. You just had to accept it and move on.

Like how she'd had to face the facts that her family had disappeared without a trace with almost all of the magic kingdoms' inhabitants.

She also thought if how much she was disrespecting them at this point. She stole her father's sword and armor, took his horse and ran away from home. She did it because she loved her father too much. And because she knew her mother would die without him. They had the kind of true love that Philip had once felt towards Aurora, probably. You could see it all over their faces. But it wasn't the kind of love that had just happened. It was the kind that grew over time built on respect and acceptance. It had needed work, but it was the kind of true love that could overcome anything. Except maybe the death of one of them.

"Who is that girl I see
staring straight back at me…?
Why is my reflection someone I don't know?"

All they'd asked of her was to find a man and get married to honor her family and pass on their heritage. All they'd wished for was for Mulan to be someone she wasn't. They wanted her to be Aurora. And despite the fact that there was nothing wrong with the girl, Mulan felt an indescribable hatred towards her. Jealousy, hatred and most surprising of all; an urge to always be around her.

She'd given Philip a promise that day they'd set off to find his sleeping beauty. To do whatever it took to find and protect her. Now more than ever, she needed to uphold that promise to him. Mulan tried to blame her feelings on just that. That it was because of Philip she needed to always make sure Aurora was okay.

To check on her in her tent each night. To make sure she had things to do. To see to that nobody treated her unfairly.

And at the same time, she felt like Aurora was always trying to mock her. In all her glory of being someone she'd never managed to be. Her family would have loved her. A proper lady, they would have said. But maybe that wasn't the real reason for her passionate feelings.

Mulan stopped working on her sword and stared at herself in the reflection of the egg. Her slightly askew eyes stared back at her, bottomless sorrow in them. Aurora's eyes were all but askew. Her whole being was etched to fit in the box of perfection. Her long chestnut colored hair, her long eyelashes, her eyes… And she could move in a dress as if she was wearing nothing but a pair of underpants. Thinking of Aurora in nothing but that, made Mulan blush. She shook her head in dismay, but kept singing quietly to herself none the less.

"Somehow I cannot hide, who I am,
though I've tried…
When will my reflection show,
who I am inside?"

A crunching step behind her made her grab for the sword, and spin around. She wasn't relieved though, when the princess staring at her gave up a little frightened squeal and the horse whinnied quietly, throwing his head high. Typical.

"Oh my!" Only Aurora would say that. Mulan almost smiled, but managed to keep it in.

"Sorry, I didn't know it was you princess." She put away her sword and sat back down again. The big horse walked away along the shore, while Aurora herself came to stand next to Mulan.

"I shouldn't have sneaked up on you like that. It's my fault, really." Aurora stared at her and looked like she was in real pain about it. Mulan couldn't take it, so she just shook her head.

"Don't worry." She resumed staring out across the water, noticing that Aurora was looking around, before sitting down next to her in the sand.

"Won't that ruin your dress?" Mulan had to ask. The princess looked up at her and gave her a glare.

"Oh, what do you care about my dress?" Mulan shrugged.

"I just thought you might want to keep it clean." Aurora looked angry.

"Mulan, I slept in this dress for 20 something years. I don't have to worry about it getting dirtier than it already is." A smile was tugging at the edge of the Chinese woman's mouth.

"We should probably really get it cleaned then." The princess stared back at her, open mouthed.

"How rude!" Mulan shrugged again, her lips stretching into a small smile. "How long have you been wearing your armor? It probably could with a wash too!" She shook her head so that her curls were bouncing around her heart shaped face. She stood up, and took a few fast steps out into the water.

"I'll just wash it now then. I haven't been cleaned up for god knows how long." Mulan's smile was gone – Aurora kept on walking.

"Wait, princess. You'll catch a cold!"

"Oh please, it'd be nice if everyone just let me make my own decisions for once!" Mulan stood up and took a step after her. That's when Aurora's dress became very heavy at the front and to her dismay, she tripped and fell, face first, into the cold water.

It was deeper than she'd thought. The dress floated up all around her.

Mulan started laughing. And Aurora's world stood still while she was staring, water up to her waist. The female warrior's laugh was like the chiming of bells. It was clear and feminine and oh so beautiful.

"I'm sorry," she tried to get out through the laughter. But she didn't get the chance. Aurora's eyes grew bigger at the noise, Mulan flipped around to meet whoever was running towards them, and a second later she was falling backwards into the water. Burt had come at the sound of Aurora's upset shouting and wanted to even things out, probably. A friendly shove and the two young women were both in the water.

"It's so cold!" Mulan yelped. And now, Aurora was the one laughing. Then Mulan started up. And it was impossible to stop it once they'd started.

It was the first time since they'd lost Philip that any one of them laughed. To Aurora, it had been years. To Mulan it felt like it.

They laughed as if the world wasn't such a bad place, until their stomach's hurt and their cheeks were flushed and voices tired. And then they looked at each other, trying to catch their breaths.

"It really is terribly cold," Aurora said, smiling lightly.

"Yeah, you're right. But I'm almost used to it now though." She smiled back, and this time her eyes were in it. "Let me help you out though. I'm guessing we'll both have terrible colds in a couple of hours."

"Oh, we'll be fine." Aurora waved a hand, which Mulan grabbed. They both stopped and looked at each other. For the first time really looked at each other. Mulan's heart skipped a beat, while Aurora's started beating faster. Then they both looked away, helping each other out of the water. When they got to the shore, they didn't let go of each other though.

Mulan told herself it was all because she needed to keep helping Aurora with the now very heavy dress. They didn't look or talk to each other. Aurora felt her cheeks grow hot and the water soaking her didn't feel all that cold anymore. Their fingers entangled as they walked back to the village, side by side.