Disclaimer : These caracters are not mine. This story is for entertainement purposes only. No infringement intended.
Author's notes : This is my first fanfiction , so I would appreciate any comments. This story might not go the way people want in the beginning ,but as Hart Hanson says , please have faith that the people who belong together will be together in the end.
WARNING : This story is rated MA/NC-17 for later chapters.
Author's Chapter Notes:
*SPOILERS* for the End in the Beginning in this chapter.
Seeley Booth was exhausted. Literally , figuratively , and excrutiatingly bone tired. In the months since he had woken from his coma , he had managed to gain back all of his prior energy and strength , but somehow , he now always tired more quickly than he ever did before. He ran a hand through his damp hair as he looked at himself in the vanity mirror. Nothing had changed on the surface. He still looked like himself , and thankfully his hair had grown back , hiding the scar that now adorned his scalp. He reached up and ran his fingers over the still tender spot on the right side of his head where the doctor had made an incision in order to get to the tumor that had been hiding under there all this time. He shuddered as he thought of what could've happened had it not been diagnosed... He'd been having hallucinations for a while , seeing people and things he really should not have been seeing , but had thought nothing of it until he'd had a breakdown during an interrogation. Bones had physically dragged him out of the room and right to the hospital when she realized his latest imaginary friend was none other than Stewie from Family Guy. He would have laughed it off had it not been for the look in her eyes... Those incredible blue eyes , that had been filled with a worry and an urgency he'd never seen in them before , had finally alerted him to the fact that the situation was more dire than he thought.
He had barely recovered from the shock of having Bones ask him to father her baby , and actually agreeing to go ahead with it , when once again his world had been turned upside down. He hadn't even had time to adjust to the idea of being a father again , because he had decided , against her wishes , that he was going to be her baby's father. Just as he had told her that , she'd shot down the whole thing and next thing he knew , he was being poked and prodded and prepped for the scariest thing he had ever lived through. Forget being tortured and shot at and held captive , the possible repercussions from this surgery had terrified him when he'd sat through the pre-op briefing with his surgeon. But Bones had been there. He could get through anything with his partner by his side. The last thing he remembered before succumbing to the anesthesia was that he hoped to God he'd get to see his son again , and then he'd turned his head and had stared into those blue eyes as he went under. He had woken up , after what seemed to him just a couple of hours of sleep , but in reality was four days he had learned. He had opened his eyes , and the first thing he'd seen were those eyes again. The eyes that had haunted him for the best part of four years , ever since his had landed upon them. He'd thought he was still in the dream for a moment. Hoped he was , until she informed him in a shaky voice that it hadn't been true , hadn't been real. He'd felt confused for a moment , confused and sad , and he'd had to ask her , just to make sure , who she was.... Was she his Bren , the one he had finally married and expected a baby with , or was she his Bones , his partner of the last four years , and the woman to which his heart secretely belonged ? He'd held his breath as tears overflowed and tracked down her cheeks , casting his eyes downward in a vain effort to look at her hands , wanting to see the ring on her finger , praying it was there.
The return to reality had been brutal to say the least. Sighing , he turned from the mirror and headed into his bedroom to get dressed for the the day. He sat down on the bed and pulled on a pair of purple and gray striped socks. His mind began wandering again and he fell back heavily on the comforter and stared at the ceiling. Yes , it had been brutal. He'd finally realized that he loved Bones. He wanted to be with her. And he'd been ready to take it on. Take her on , and everything that came with it. He'd wasted enough time , but he hadn't counted on Bones not being there. As close as they had been before the operation , the weeks following it had been awkward. She'd pulled away from him for some reason , and although she assured him nothing was wrong, he could tell all was not right with them. Before he'd had a chance to talk to her , Sully had showed up out of the blue after two years and swept her off again. They'd been together two months by then and going strong. He guessed that's what he deserved for taking so long to realize what was right in front of him. He sat back up , willing the twinge in his heart to go away , and put on his pants , a crisp blue shirt and the tie that Parker had given him upon his return home from the hospital. It was black and had a red and white parrot on the front. Although he hated birds , Parker had picked it out himself , and Booth wanted to feel his son close to him today for some reason. He was decidedly more touchy-feely since he'd gone through the brain tumor thing , he thought.
The one good thing that had come out of it was Rebecca had been so scared of her son losing his father , that he now had all the time he wanted with Parker. And he'd taken advantage of that time these last months. Running a hand through his hair one last time , he headed out the door , and walked to his truck , hurrying because he was a little late for work.
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Temperance Brennan was staring intensely at the computer screen in front of her. She had written and re-written the same line over and over again , but her mind was stuck in neutral , and she couldn't concentrate at all on the chapter she was trying to finish. Here she was , world-renowned forensic anthropologist and author , genius in her own right , and she had no idea what to make of the last few months of her life. Three months ago , she had been preparing to make room for a baby in her life. She had already started emptying her guest room in order to turn in into a nursery , and had been a week away from her first round of artificial insemination. It had taken her years to get to that point. Or rather , a lifetime , really , as she had never wanted children before. Ever. But somehow , during a therapy session with Sweets , while she and Booth had played one of the psychologist's silly games , everything had become clear to her. She wanted to have a progeny. She wanted to bring into the world a child who would no doubt inherit her astonishing intelligence , and go on to make the world a better place , whoever he or she was. With her genetics , she would no doubt give birth to an exceptional human being who would do wonderful things with its life. She hadn't even needed to think about a donor , because she knew without a doubt that she wanted Booth to father her baby. It was only logical. Someone such as her had to chose wisely in selecting a genetic benefactor , and Booth was in every way the best match for her. Over the years he had showed that he possessed all the necessary traits and qualities that would be extremely beneficial to raising an exceptional child. He had everything that she herself lacked and vice versa , therefore , the child they would create could be nothing short of perfect.
She only had to look at Parker to know that. He was a beautiful , inquisitive , intelligent little boy , and she was certain that hers would be just the same. It had irked her a bit that Booth had seemed to hesitate before giving her his answer. She couldn't see why he would. Her points were perfectly valid after all. But in the end , and perhaps because she had threatened to use Fisher as a donor , he had agreed. She had been beyond happy for once in her life , which was an alien feeling for her , but she was certain she had made the right decisions. Everything was going fine until Booth had started talking to a non-existent person while questionning a suspect. She had never been so scared in her life as when she realized that her partner was hallucinating. Again. She'd rushed him to the hospital , and had waited with him , pacing the floor again and again until they had gotten the results. When the doctor had told them about the tumor , she had reached out and gripped Booth's hand in her own , trying to think through the numb shock and the pain she felt. When they had taken him away to prep him for his surgery , she had made a few calls to ensure that the doctor appointed to him was the best he could get. She hadn't told him that of course. She had almost lost it when she had gone to tell the gang about the latest developments. But she had reminded herself that as terrified as she was , Booth was the one who was going through it , therefore her feelings of fear and sadness had no place there. She had agreed with some reticence when he informed her that he wanted her to be present in the operating room with him. But in the end , she had not been able to resist his pleading brown eyes , and had found herself in the middle of Booth's surgery , examining every movement , assessing every gesture the physicians made , making sure they took great care of her Booth.
But then , things had gone horribly wrong. Although they had assured her that the operation was a success , Booth had slipped into an unending coma caused by the anesthesia. They had not been able to guarantee her that he would wake-up , let alone in what condition if he did. And so she had taken up residence in his room , leaving him only when Rebecca and Parker would come to visit , and even then , just long enough for her to go home shower , change and come back. The night before he woke-up , she had been restless , desperate to see him look at her or flash her his cocky grin again , but he was as still as a statue. She had gone out into the corridor to walk and clear her head , her steps aimless as she thought back to everything they had lived through together. She didn't know what she would do if she lost him. In all honesty she had lost him before. Just a year before in fact, when he had taken a bullet meant for her and died. Or so she thought... Those had been the worse weeks of her life , and that was counting losing her parents , and being in foster care. She couldn't imagine a life without Booth. He was her one constant , her rock.
She wiped at the tears running down her cheeks and looked up to see she had unconsciously been walking toward a particular place. She snorted thinking of Booth's reaction if he knew where she was. She hesitated only a second before she opened the door and stepped inside the room. Her eyes scanned the unfamiliar surroundings and somehow , someway , she knew this was the right place to be , the right thing to do. She quietly made her way to the front and sat on the hard wooden bench. She supposed there was a way to do this , a ritual of some kind but for once , her brain drew a blank. She had no idea how she was supposed to go about this but got on her knees anyway , as she had seen Booth do the one time he had brought her to his church. Raising her head , she fixed her eyes on the crucifix on the wall in front of her and tried to remember the one prayer she had heard Parker recite to his father every day. She ran it over and over in her head , and even if she had felt foolish about talking to an invisible being she didn't believe existed , she had asked that God bring Booth back to them. She stayed in the chapel observing the people that came and went , analyzing their behavior and finding herself comforted and soothed by all of it. She told herself it was just tiredness taking its toll , as she made her way back to Booth's room.
She took up residence in the chair beside his bed once more and booted up her laptop to continue the story she had been working on. As her fingers danced over the keyboard , she read aloud , as she had the past three days , mainly because it made her feel a little less lonely , a little less sad , and because she hoped the sound would wake Booth from his slumber somehow. Her eyes darted up to him evey once in a while and sometimes she would hold his hand , rub it between her own to warm it. Once she had let herself touch his cheek , running her hand delicately along his face , letting herself savour the moment. It had been difficult for her to admit , because she didn't believe in such things , but she had finally realized after fighting it for so long , that she loved this man with all her heart. And so , when he'd woken and talked of a dream he'd had , she'd rushed to reassure him that it wasn't reality. But then he'd looked at her with that confused look in his eyes and had spoken the words that had petrified her on the spot. ''Who are you ? '' he'd asked. It wasn't long before the confused look had left his face and the comprehension had replaced it , but in that frightening moment , when she had thought he didn't recognize her , she had known that she wasn't strong enough to lose him again. Wasn't strong enough to face life without him by her side. She'd never make it. But if she told him how she felt , and somehow lost him in the end , as she always lost everyone else around her , she wouldn't survive it. She needed him in her life. And so , she had resolved to take a step back , focus on their partnership , since it was the only way to assure that Booth would not leave her. Of that , she felt positive. And anyway , hadn't he drawn a line years before , assuring her that he would not date a co-worker ? It was for the best really.
Three weeks later , she had been working over a badly decomposed corpse when Sully had walked up the platform and engulfed her in bear hug. She'd been shocked to see him , but had felt a little jolt she hadn't felt in a longtime upon his return. Knowing that it was the best thing to do , she had agreed to start seeing him again , and everything had been going good. Sully was safe , easy. There was no chance of her ever being hurt again with Sully. Although she liked him a lot , Sully was no Booth , and so , her heart , and her mind were in no danger. She did feel that Booth was wondering why she was so distant all of a sudden , but she couldn't face him , and tried to avoid him as much as she could outside of work , because she knew if he got her talking , it would ruin their relationship , and she wouldn't risk it. She huffed and blew a strand of hair from her eyes. Just as she was about to face the screen in a new attempt at writting , Booth walked in to her office carrying two cups of coffee.
'' Hey Bones ! Anything new on the Werner case ? '' he smiled over at her as he handed her one of the cups. She took it and smiled back.
'' No , but I'm waiting for Hodgins. He said he'd be able to give us an estimate of time of death according to the fly larvae we found incrusted into the victim's skull. '' She looked him over surrepticiously , noting that with each day that passed , he looked better and better.
'' Good ! I'll be able to concentrate on the why and the how , when I get the when... '' He flashed her a toothy grin and sipped his coffee.
'' How's Parker ? '' She asked. Booth had been enjoying shared custody since his return home. She was happy that Rebecca had finally relented on the point and that Booth was now able to see his son as much as he wanted. '' Isn't he supposed to start daycamp with my dad soon ? '
'' Please ! That's all he's been talking about for the last week ! He starts monday. I can't believe my kid is going to a science camp ! I knew that someday this place was going to ruin it for me ! '' He hesitated before he spoke again. '' You know , he's been asking about you. He's wondering why we don't see you as much anymore. '
She shifted uncomfortably in her chair , but before she could open her mouth to respond , there was a knock at the door and they both turned to stare at the intruder.
'' Dr. Brennan , I'm sorry but I have to interrupt. '' Cam said as she strolled in looking hesitant. ''No it's alright.'' She quickly reassured her colleague.
'' Does Hodgins have the results ? '' She felt relieved at having been saved from answering Booth's pointed question.
Cam shook her head, and looked at Booth.
'' Seeley , there's someone here to see you. '' Booth nodded and started towards the door. Cam caught his arm and stopped him before he had taken a step. '' No , I really think it would be better if we did this in here. If you don't mind . '' she added , sending Temperance a pleading look.
'' Of course , I'll just go see if there's news from Hodgins... '' Booth 's arm shot out in front of her and she stopped short.
'' No ! Bones , stay please. Cam what's going on ? '' He was confused and irritated , and couldn't understand the sudden seriousness that had fallen on the room. Cam took his hand , squeezed it and went back to the door , gesturing for someone to come over. As the two men entered the office , Booth seemed to lose all the energy in his body and his face completely drained of color. Temperance looked from the two men to her partner , and though it was blatently obvious the oldest was related to Booth , the other was wearing a formal Navy uniform , and she had no idea who it could be. She wasn't left wondering for long. Booth rushed forward and embraced the first man.
'' Grandpa ! This is a suprise ! '' The man hugged Booth hard , and gave him a few sharp taps on the back. Booth then turned to the second , and before Temperance knew what was happening , the two fell into each other's arms , squeezing hard , the man lifting a hand through Booth's hair and ruffling it roughly before letting him go.
'' How are you Seel ? Jim tells me you had a rough patch a few months ago. ''
''Yeah ! I'm doing fine Ike , thanks. Really... Wow ! I can't believe you're here. It's been so long ! It's good to see you ! '' He turned to Temperance and motioned to the men behind him.
'' Bones , this is my grandfather , James Booth , and an old family friend , Admiral Isaac Harrisson. Grandpa , Ike , this is my partner , Dr. Temperance Brennan. '' As the men shook her hand and greeted her , Temperance was once again struck at how much Booth looked like his grandfather. It was really an older version of him , same warm brown eyes , same mouth , same facial structure , but with white hair. She couldn't help but like the man on instinct. The other , Ike as Booth called him , gave her the same feeling of ease. He was very good-looking. A good deal younger than , he had short black hair , a nicely trimmed moustache and the bluest eyes she had ever seen. The deep dimple in his chin only accentuated his handsomeness. Brennan estimated his age to be between that of Booth's and his grandfather's.
'' It's a pleasure to finally meet you. Seeley and Parker talk about you so much when they visit , Nora and I feel as if we already know you. '
Touched , Temperance darted a quick look at Booth , and flushed. She gestured to the couch. '' Please , won't you sit down. '' As they all settled , Temperance couldn't help but notice Booth was still tense and pale. She looked at Cam questionningly only to see her friend shake her head at her silently. Turning back , she caught the quick glance the two men gave each other before Mr. Booth leaned forward and took his grandson's hand in his own. Booth visibly stiffened.
'' Seel , you know this isn't just a social visit. Your grandmother doesn't even know I'm here , and Ike' s presence should tell you something. '' He squeezed Booth's hand again.
''This is about Lexie isn't it ? '' Booth said teeth clenched. She could see the muscles in his jaw twitching. He looked over at Cam and frowned at the look in her eyes. '' You know about this ? ''
'' They just told me. '' He turned back to Ike and his voice was shaky when he spoke again.
'' I won't talk about her again. You know I won't. Whatever it is , just let it lie with her. That part of my past is dead and burried just like her. '' His eyes had turned a shade of black she'd only ever seen when he was furious and so , she felt nervous.
Ike scooted closer to edge of the couch so that his knees and Booth's were touching. He gripped Booth's other hand , and her partner grabbed on to it as though it were a lifeline. Temperance could see him trying to keep his emotions in check. Ike shook his head and stared at Booth intently.
'' Seeley , I would let it lie if I could , but I can't. She's my daughter and I've lived without her for the past ten years. Nobody knows better than me what you've lived through , what you feel. '
'' Right , so why bring it up now ? Why stir all this up ? I won't live through it again , I told you. I said all I needed to say back then. Jared and I are in a better place now Ike. I don't understand. When they closed up the investigation , you said we wouldn't have to do this again. ''
'' I did Seel , and I meant it. '' Ike took a deep breath and nodded at Cam as she laid a hand on his back , giving it a rub. Booth , having seen this , shot up out of the chair , suddenly very anxious. Ike followed suit , coming to a stand right in front of him , forcing the younger man to look him in the eye. He spoke very calmly , knowing what his words would bring.
'' Seeley... She isn't dead. Lexie is alive. '' Booth felt like a fist had been punched right through his heart , and for a moment he forgot how to breathe. Images and sounds came rushing through his head , and he felt like he was going to be sick. He took one last look around the room before storming out into the lab and took off at a run without another word.
Chapter End Notes:
Author's notes : Hey everybody ! Sorry about the long paragraphs , but this chapter was just to put everything in perspective. The others will be less descriptive. Hope you like it.