I have learned one thing from war. It is you take care of yourself, and the people you love.
There is no way to say when I changed who I was or what I was.
I have only come to find that out a short time ago.
War is my life now.
When I started killing it started to haunt me, but soon it became a hobby.
Killing doesn't scare me anymore like it should.
And when I can kill it makes me smile.
Is this who I am? A killing machine?
As I walked to the war zone, the streets get darker and shorter.
I can feel the darkness and rage inside me grow.
And I know I am becoming something I don't need to be.
I won't be the same Rachel.
I will be something that well scare others.
And make some people cry.
I will love war too much.
I think of Tobias.
How can he love something like me?
I am the thing holding his humanity.
And to think I can't even hold my own.
I will go to do what Jake asked.
I will go to kill Tom.
But I won't come back the same.
If you want to know the truth, I may not come back alive.
So I asked all to remember me what I was, not what I am now.