something in me shifts, deep deep down -
( ( skintight ) )
- this is how i'm expected to live?
.
.
.
There is a flash of red. The world opens before me [green and blue, my trainer told me once, but I do not understand those colors, only red and black and white, the shades of my round prison] and I carefully breathe in the air, growing in happiness. I remember this place; the white buildings and river, the grass many feet under me. This is where I started. This is where I met him, my trainer, and he caught me in a shockwave of crimson and pain. But he loves me, I know.
My loving trainer stuffs a white thing in my hand [may I call it that when I am not a human?] and says to eat it. I listen and do as I am told, because my trainer has never been cruel to me before.
I trust him.
Immediately regret is painted all over my vision. A sensation within me grows, bringing pain and the lack of air.
I am being stretched in a way I have never been stretched before - my skin expands and changes color, growing new parts that I have never known. Bright, white light blinds me, covering me. What is happening to me? I scream as my wild counterparts float aimlessly around, giving me no reply. I can only assume they do not know either.
The thing that brought me this pain lodges deep inside me, melding into this new form of mine, and I try to bring it out, to return me to my previous state. Somehow, I doubt I will ever go back to what I was before.
Everything is red, red, red. I have never felt such pain.
All of a sudden, the pain dies. I am no longer engulfed by that horrible light.
When I raise my gaze to my trainer [my loving trainer] I find a look of satisfaction on his face.
He knows what he did, I think. This boy does not love me. And so I shall not love him any longer.