Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts

Notes:

The title is a Winston Churchill quote.

After reading many (probably all) the Luke/Rey posts on The Force Awakens Kinkmeme and daydreamed many of them, when I actually sat down to write, I found impossible to jump directly on a juicy prompt so... I'm filing this under Rey/Luke Anything Please
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although this is creating the basis for filling this prompt
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I read wonderful stories in which Luke is calm and comfortable teaching Rey, so... I just couldn't write him like that. Also, he's always acting like this angelic being (which btw it's exactly how I see him in the movies), but I just needed to have him more in touch with dark side. Ostensibly he hid from the whole universe after his failure, and his insecurities are probably causing him to reflect on the darkness in him. Anakin slid into darkness because of his pride, but what sealed his fall was the slaughter at the Academy - which he was tricked into because he wanted to protect his unborn children. So I see Luke as being closer to the dark side than people imagine.

It was strange to have company after all this time. Luke tried to get used to it, and he was quite pleased with his progress until Chewie told him that he had to leave to be with his family. He knew this was coming, but it didn't make it easier. Having his old friends around helped with the adjustment to this new presence in his life. They alleviated somewhat the disruption in the Force caused by Rey.

The girl was quiet and polite, almost unobtrusive. But the Force was so strong in her, he had felt her arrival before the Millennium Falcon even landed, so having her physically close was downright distracting. She was aware of her power, and she showed patience and resolve when faced with his taciturn behavior.

Chewacca and R2D2 had informed him that the legend of Luke Skywalker had spread the across the known Universe. In his exile, he had spent all this time being consumed by guilt for failing his most important student. Every time he caught Rey looking at him with awe, he felt even more like an impostor.

The first thing they found they had in common was the ability to fix things when they were restoring some of the ancient circuits. The Jedi temple had been built to house dozens of people, but it had fallen in disrepair in the centuries of neglect. He had restored most of the rooms in his long years on the island, but the only livable quarter was his.

Working together made them less uneasy around each other.

Rey never asked him to become her master, but Luke didn't need her to say the words to know that was the only reason she was there. He was grateful to her for the patience. It helped him open up to the idea of teaching someone again.

Luke had always known that one day his peaceful exile would end. In his good days, he imagined Ben would find his way out of the darkness and he would be the one to walk the stairs. In his bad days, he imagined confronting his former padawan. And in his worst days, he saw himself killing his nephew. The more time passed without Ben arriving, the worst the days got.

With Rey's arrival, a new scenario started playing in his mind. Since Ben had made his choice, Luke understood so many of Obi-Wan's choices. Until then, he hadn't really understood why Master Kenobi hadn't trained him on Tatooine. Now it was his turn to decide if he should teach someone else.

In the long years of solitude, Luke had come to accept that he had done the best he could for Ben. His best just hadn't been enough. Maybe he had even made things worse because Ben had joined the dark side well trained even if incompletely. He wished he could tell his old mentor that he understood, but Obi-Wan's ghost hadn't showed itself in decades. Thinking of all the similarities, Luke saw a new path, that had been close to him before Rey's arrival.

In his solitude, Luke got used to mapping possible futures. Her presence opened up the final possibility.

Luke's memory of the moment Darth Vader had killed Obi-Wan was perfect in every detail. He remembered the shock and the pain. He remembered the wailing in the Force when he died. And most of all, he remembered the solidification of his resolve to end Darth Vader. Rey witnessing his death at the hands of Kylo Ren would be an appropriate end of their relationship.

The challenge was to build up their relationship to the point where his death would set her on that path. Whatever the end, they had to start somewhere. He had to build a report with a child who saw him as some mythical figure.

They were having tea, celebrating the restauration of the kitchen the evening Luke felt ready.

"What do you know about the reasons why I am here?" he asked.

His voice was as calm as he could make it. He didn't want to influence her on this very important question. He was listening to what words she would choose and was tuning his senses to find out if she was lying or leaving things out. He didn't expect her to lie, but he didn't expect her to trust him right away.

"I was told you left after Ben Solo turned to the dark side."

The words were simple and honest. She had made the difference between knowing and having been told, which told him that her mind was a lot sharper than his had been at that age. But he had also felt the spike in her aura when she said Ben's name. Like plucking a chord in the infinite web of the Force. He wondered if it was because of her friendship with Han Solo – Chewbacca had mentioned that Rey and Han had hit it off instantly, bonding over their similar feelings for the Falcon. No. It felt different. More personal. She had met him.

"You know him," he said, looking at her.

"I met Kylo Ren," she replied, holding his gaze.

Luke felt the same tremble in the fabric of the Universe. So… the connection wasn't due to him being a Solo or a Skywalker.

He thought of his nephew's passionate nature. His lack of restraint. He had tried to help Ben deal with these traits which were unbecoming to a Jedi. He knew that his nephew's temper, coupled with his charisma made him irresistible to many people. Even to his enemies. Even to someone as restrained as the girl sitting before him. Maybe especially someone calm and collected would be vulnerable to the pull of such a personality.

"How?" he asked.

It was his turn to wait through Rey's silence. The tea grew cold before she spoke.

"He was looking for the map that leads to you. BB-8 had shown it to me, so he captured me to get it out of my mind."

Luke's fist clenched at hearing this and his precious self-control slipped from him like a heavy robe from his shoulders. It left his mind naked and writhing. What Rey was describing in a few words was one of the most reviled ways to use the Force. That evil being that had replaced his nephew had penetrated someone's mind without their consent. Using what Luke himself had taught him. It was the fifth time in his life when Luke felt this level of anger and hatred.

The death of his aunt and uncle.

Obi-Wan's death.

When the Emperor told him the Death Star was operational and his friends were about to die.

When his apprentices were killed.

And this.

Rey was looking at him, and so consumed was he by this rage that he saw the fear on her face and in her body language instead of sensing it through the Force. He shielded his emotions instantly, aware that having her see that part of him was not a good way to earn her trust. He was a Skywalker, like his father before him and like his nephew after him. The same tumultuous nature.

"Forgive me," he said as soon as he could trust his voice to be steady.

The girl surprised him. Her fear had turned to curiosity.

"How did you do that?!"

"Do what?" he asked, genuinely confused.

"You were so angry, and now… nothing!" she tried to clarify, her hand twitching toward him, as if she needed to touch him to make sure he was still there.

He had used a crude shield, but her reaction reminded him that there were so many things she needed to know. And if she had already been subjected to mind probing with violence, no wonder she was interested in this technique. He felt bad for what she had been through, and guilty for having taught her torturer the basics mind manipulation. He left the shame and anger to burn in a corner of mind, hidden from the girl. He would meditate and cleanse himself after talking to Rey. Scaring her was yet another thing he had to atone for later.

"Shielding. It's a skill I had to learn pretty much on my own. Jedis are taught control so they don't have strong negative emotions to conceal, but I was too old when I started training. It became essential to learn to hide what I could not control."

He lapsed into silence, falling into the memory of the duel with his father. How easy it had been for Darth Vader to see into his mind. As if his mental shield had been made of glass. It had shattered as soon as the Sith had started probing. And the hastily reconstructed second one had shattered moments later when the Emperor had goaded him. It seemed that three decades later, his ability to control his darker emotions was not much improved when it came to reacting to an innocent's suffering or danger.

"How old were you?"

He smiled, glad to be brought back.

"When Obi-Wan started teaching me I was 19, but my real training started with Master Yoda when I was 22."

"22 is too old?" she asked, eyebrow raised, trying to figure out if he was making fun of her.

"Oh, yes. Master Yoda at first refused to train me because of my age. Jedis used to be trained from childhood."

"Am I too old?"

There was a tinge of concern in her voice. Like she was worried he might refuse to teach her. He refrained from sending a wave of serenity in her direction. It might not be welcome to prove to her that he had the ability to manipulate her mind.

"No. Do you want to learn?"

He heard the same shade of concern in his own voice. He knew it was the reason she was there, but maybe after meeting him…

"From you. Yes," she answered immediately.

"From me…" he repeated, raising an eyebrow.

For the third time that evening, he felt the same tremor. By now he was convinced that it was like a signature. What had his nephew done to her? She couldn't have heard his question, but she started answering it.

"He… offered to teach me about the Force. When we were fighting," she said with a shrug.

He felt her holding back, and almost sighed. It was even more difficult than he expected. Maybe he should take advantage of his myth status. After all, he had trusted Yoda just because of his reputation. He had given himself fully to the training based just on a message from Obi-Wan's ghost. He looked into her eyes with all the warmth he was still capable of feeling, which sadly wasn't much.

"You can tell me anything. I'm not going to judge," Luke assured her.

"I…," her voice trailed off, and her gaze fell from his. "Why were you so angry before?" she asked studying her hands.

Apparently the mythical hero reputation wasn't working on her. Not after his previous display. Honesty then.

"Going into someone's mind like that… is abhorrent. We can use the Force to influence if necessary. Not to plunder. Never to harm… I tried to teach him that," he added bitterly.

She was still looking down while he spoke, leaving him to wonder if he had just linked himself to a traumatizing event in her life.

"When he entered my mind… I tried to stop him getting to the map, so… I… pushed back, and I got into his mind."

"Very well! You stood up to him!"

She looked up at this. Her eyes sparkled. Maybe the mythical hero façade was working after all. Trying to explain how horrendous he found mind rape he had accidentally caused her worry about the fact that she had done the same to her torturer, and all it took to reassure her were a few words of praise from him.

"Will you teach me?"

"Yes."