A/N: Okay, so I don't think I've really written anything in two years, and certainly not for this fandom! I just got into Inuyasha like a week ago and am only on episode 73 so I don't know a lot that happens yet (or how to spell anything lol!) but I got this (and about ten other) plot bunnies in my head, so I had to write it down before I lost it. This may suck, I'm really out of practice writing for the fun of it. Hopefully you'll enjoy it, Read and Review please! If you do I might write more!
Disclaimer: I don't own "Inuyasha" nor can I spell (or pronounce) the name of the woman
Lucky
Darkness settled heavily over the woods, silent save for the whisper of wind through the dew dusted leave and the scurry of unseen creatures beneath the underbrush. Wind, sweet and light, felt quite refreshing after the swelter of the summer afternoon; on this day, even fish chose to hide in the shadows while land born creatures baked. Even youkai, generally unaffected by the climate suffered by other creatures, now too cursed the heat.
Into the tenth day of wooded travel, the stifling summer heat and hidden sky made the travelers edgy and anxious. Even Inuyasha, who scoffed not days earlier about the "weakness" of humans, had begun to feel restless; that alone was his reason for allowing them to rest so early in the day. It was simply just to hot to live, let alone travel. So they had settled in, made camp, and took alternating turns bathing in the cool spring nearby. Nothing could quite compare to the feeling of dunking ones head into ice cold water after the misery of unforgiving heat, and even Inuyasha shelved his pride and admitted relief in the act. Night was much like the water, cool and refreshing, the hanyou thought as he awoke in the night, stretching lazily and gazing about. Lumps along the ground were still, indicating the sleeping state of his pack. He noticed with some amusement that, during his sleep, Miroku had shifted closer to Sango into what, undoubtedly, would prove a terribly painful position when he awoke. Chuckling quietly, the half-demon made a bet with himself as to how long it would take the red mark to disappear from the monks face. Feet from the sleeping pair, a tousled mass of black hair and a smiling face peeked from beneath their blanket. Inuyasha's eyes softened toward the sight of the sleeping miko. She really was beautiful when she slept, what he wouldn't give to be the one next to her…Speaking of bedfellows, a missing lump beside her caused his hackles to rise. The little shit had run off again! How many times had he told that fox not to wander? While he hated to admit it, Inuyasha worried for the kit; being orphaned so young was horrible, and it was a miracle that they had found him (or rather he had found them) unharmed. It wasn't every demon who was as nice as Inuyasha, anyone else would have just killed the kit, no questions asked.
Irritated, not only at the kit but at his worry for him, the hanyou rose, cracked his back in a stretch, and gave a good sniff of the air. Bounding into the brush, he silently followed the fox demons scent, intending to give a good scare; maybe if enough fear was instilled the little shit wouldn't run off next time! Stilling his body at the edge of the woods, he peered over a bush towards the pond they'd bathed in earlier that day. At the edge of the water sat the kit, back turned towards Inuyasha's hiding place, cradling something and muttering. Even with demon senses, the sounds were to light and that only did more to aggravate the inu. All this way in the middle of the night to save the runt and he couldn't even hear why! Plan of instilling the fear of kami into the boy forgotten, Inuyasha sauntered out; Shippou's ears perked and he moved to quickly conceal something beneath his shirt before going on the defensive, his nose recognizing Inuyasha's scent.
"Hey Shippou," Inuyasha sing-songed, his fangs showing in a toothy smile
"Inuyasha…w-what are you doing here?" The kit didn't like the devilish grin, nor the look on the inu-demons face; looks like that usually proceeded a painful thump on the head. Unfortunately, this time it was no different a situation. "Ow ow ow ow ow ow! That hurt! What'd you do that for?!"
"Baka! What were you thinking, coming out in the middle of the night like this? Some demons aren't as nice as me; you could've been a snack before we'd even realized you'd left! Don't you use that head of your? Geeze Shippou, sometimes I wonder why we even have you on these missions, one of these days you're going to get yourself killed." Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say. An acorn collided with the side of his head, pitched by an infuriated kitsune.
"What was that for!?" Inuyasha hollered, rubbing the side of his head and glaring furiously at the offending kit who glared quite angrily back. The venom in the boys gaze was startling and for the life of him, the hanyou couldn't understand why. He didn't do anything the boy didn't deserve!
"Than let me get eaten if I'm such a burden," growled the boy, turning his back on the inu "go on leave! Go save Kagome, or Miroku or someone….just leave me alone!" Inuyasha wouldn't be deterred so easily. He was already furious that the kit returned to readily to whatever meaningless activity he'd been engaged in before, effectively causing him to disregard his pack leader. Not used to being ignored, Inuyasha grabbed the fox up by his tail and growled.
"Little ingrate, I aught to grill you!" the lad squirmed uselessly in the man's grasp, feet kicking and scratching "what'd you got anyway? Give it!" Without thinking, Inuyasha snatched the item from Shippou's grasp and dropped the kit on his head with a loud thump.
Fisted in his hand, much to the dog demon's surprise, was a long strip of old, matted fur. It looked as though it spent most of its time used as a belt and smelled a mixture of sweat, blood, and, overwhelmingly, Shippou. Inuyasha glanced down at the kit in mildly interested confusion. Why would he have….? A horrible thought occurred to him, and he studied the kit who, for his part, looked near tears.
"Shippou-"
"Give it back!" hollered the kit, ripping the ratty fur from his pack leaders grip and snuggling it against his body with shaking hands "you'll get your awful smell all over it!"
Inuyasha hated feeling guilty more than anything else, and it made him furious that he felt an overwhelming sense of shame watching tears stain the young boys' cheeks. How was he supposed to know it was Shippou's fathers' fur? Kami, he didn't mean to make the kit cry…just teach him a lesson. Shifting uneasily from foot to foot, Inuyasha regarded the sobbing boy with great trepidation; crying was Kagome's territory, she was the one who comforted and nurtured the pack, not him. Usually all he did was put his foot in his mouth. Still, the girl slept rather peacefully, for once, and the hanyou felt loathe to wake her unnecessarily. This little snag in pack positions, unfortunately, meant that he had to take over comforting the young kitsune and this left the demon feeling uncharacteristically nervous. He didn't comfort; the best anyone ever expected was a shove forward and a "get over it". Somehow, this time that didn't feel like it was quite the right thing to say. Sliding to the ground, Inuyasha regarded the morose kit with a nervous understanding; losing a parent was something the hanyou could understand all to well… the problem was helping the fox through it when he himself never quite learned to handle loss.
Shippou knew Inuyasha was there and that made him feel, if anything, worse. Crying made him weak, and the fox desperately stifled his sobs; it was bad enough being the weakest in the team, but for the alpha to see…it was a shame even the kit wasn't willing to bear. So many screw ups, so many injuries, were his fault; the others felt a duty to protect him because of his own inability to fight or to stay safe and now….now he wept like a human infant. The inu half demon was willing to forgive humans for such frailties, he knew, but not a youkai. Youkai knew better. What if he was laughed at? Or worse, thrown out of the pack? Wild, fearful fantasies but he'd been thrown out of a pack once and was terrified of finding himself in that position again.
Hot trail fell over and over again, clinging to the filthy fur and staining the young foxes cheek even as he swiped at them fretfully. The inu demon smelled the salt of the tears, and the scent of anguish he found unbelievable he could detect before; how long had the kit been suffering unnoticed? Even now, Inuyasha noticed pitiful attempts at hiding the obvious pain, making him feel like even more of a bastard. Somehow, this was probably his fault. Hell, he knew it was his fault; how many times had he told an injured Shippou that youkai, especially youkai males, don't cry? Awkwardly, the hanyou tried rubbing circles on the kits back, something he'd seen Kagome do in between glaring at him, usually because he'd caused the runts tears in the first place. Shippou stiffened but didn't make any attempt to move away. Admittedly, Inuyasha felt it'd be more comfortable if the kid cried, or shook, something besides the eerie silence. Obviously he was in pain, but, because of his pack leaders stupid mouth, wouldn't allow it to show; the hanyou had to wonder, how much of Shippou's happiness was just an act and how much was actually real?
Enough was enough, he had to make this kid talk before whatever was hurting destroyed him from the inside out. Gazing out over the water, Inuyahsa continued his ministration and said in a calm tone
"It's okay to cry…you know…if you miss him." Shippou's gaze settled on him, the hanyou knew, and so he turned to meet the red rimmed eyes. So much pain, it was almost a physical blow just to see such a haunted look on someone so young; hell, he'd have preferred a punch in the gut to this. The look was almost heart-wrenching.
Drawing a shuddering breath, the kit looked away and seemed to curl farther into himself. Inuyasha continued to draw circles on his back, relieved to not see the broken look anymore; it was simply to reminiscent. Shippou fiddled with the fur idly, sniffling quietly every so often before mumbling
"But…you said-"
"To hell with what I said!" Inuyasha bit back "don't you know better than to listen to me by now? Runt, you lost your father, something like that is going to hurt worse than any injury in any battle and it never really gets better. Its okay to cry when something hurts that bad, when you love someone that much," he paused, regarding the kit seriously when his golden eyes met water blue. "Wounds, words, wrongs…their not worth the pain but people… Shippou people- your family, your friend- are worth every tear. It's okay to hurt for them." A shudder passed through the kitsune and, for a millisecond, Inuyasha feared having said something wrong; his fears were doused, though, when a crying ball of fuss launched itself into his arms and wetted his kariginu with salty tears. Fully out of his element at this point, the inu patted the boys back awkwardly, than attempted the circle thing that worked so well for Kagome. Apparently, the fox kit responded to the human girls' methods because he began to settle down, his chest hitching with the occasional sob and sniffle. A small squeak issued from within the folds of his clothes, so quiet even his dog like hearing could make out the words; with a sigh, he pried the young ones face from his body and peered at it for a moment.
"Repeat," he clipped simply. A sniffle preceded the answer as the kit snuggled unabashedly into the large man's body.
"I miss him." Looking into the small space between branches, towards the stars and softly lit moon, Inuyasha felt his heart soften toward the child. Losing a parent hurt like nothing else, except perhaps losing a mate, especially for someone so young.
"Of course you do baka, he was your father. You're supposed to miss your father." Shippou regarded him quietly for a moment before asking
"Do you?"
"What?" Inuyasha asked "Miss my father? No…no not really, I never knew him. How do you miss someone you never met?" The fox child's eyes lowered, a gloomy feeling settling over him like a heavy blanket. Maybe Inuyasha couldn't understand…
"But I miss my mother all the time."
"Huh?" Eyes shooting up, the fox stared wide eyed at the inu who, in turn, stared into the trees unblinking; in his head, Inuyasha reminded himself that his discomfort at the subject was for the fox's benefit. 'I will not lose my temper' became the mantra his head 'I will not lose my temper'. "But…I thought she died along time ago…"
"Doesn't mean I don't miss her," Inuyasha said gently, stroking the kits head. Maybe this comforting stuff wasn't so hard after all…"Just because she's been gone a long time doesn't mean I don't still love her, and you miss people you love when their gone."
"Is that why you throw a fit when Kagome goes home?"
"Why you little….?!" Inuyasha thumped the kit soundly on the head, though lighter than he ordinarily would; he, after all, kind of set himself up for that question. "Keep your nose out of other people's business runt."
"Sorry!" squeaked the kit, rubbing his head tenderly "I just asked cause…I miss her when she leaves" his voice got quiet and he looked down at the fur in his hand as the tears built up again and blurred his vision. "I'm afraid when she leaves" he whispered "when any of you leave."
"Afraid? Why would you be afraid?" Inuyasha smelled the salt again and resumed rubbing circles; what could possibly have set Shippou off now?
"I'm afraid..th-that you might not come back," the sobbing began afresh and it was all the hanyou could do to keep the kit as calm as he was. This crying bout was fiercer than the previous and over something so silly….though, Inuyasha supposed, it must not seem so silly to garner such a violent outburst.
"Now why wouldn't we come back? I know you're a pain in the ass runt but we're all rather fond of you. Why would we leave you?"
"Papa…h-he p-promised he'd c-come back" hiccupped the kit, burrowing his face into the kariginu. "He l-left me there all a-a-lone…he p-promised to come b-back and he lied! Th-They killed him, they k-killed him and he l-left me all alone." Shippou seemed to make himself smaller against Inuyasha, who for his part was completely bewildered by the explanation, and in a tiny voice managed to squeak through his tears "y-you'll leave s-s-someday too. You'll d-die and l-leave and n-no one will want me."
"Shippou…" Inuyasha felt a painful wrenching in his chest and held the kit all the tighter. Why had no one thought to talk to him sooner? Sure, it was peculiar the way he acted when they left but not one thought a thing of it. How could they have let this go on so long? They were supposed to be his pack, his family, and yet no one realized just what the kit felt. He probably saw his father killed right in front of him. Having to deal with that day after day…at least Inuyasha's mother died peacefully…to watch her murdered would have destroyed him. It was destroying Shippou.
"I'm sorry runt, I'm sorry we haven't acted like a better pack to you." Smoothing the child's hair, Inuyasha had to stifle a remorseful sigh; what, exactly, had they done to this child? Hopefully nothing that couldn't be healed…but why couldn't he tell them? Why didn't he? "You should have said something runt, if not to me than to Kagome, or Sango, hell even Miroku would listen if you could get his hand off of Sango's ass." This comment drew a chuckle from the kit, much to the inu's relief, but it didn't undermine the serious nature of the question, which Shippou seemed hesitant to answer.
"I..I thought…worried…that maybe you..would…might…" his voice dropped to a barley audible whisper "that you might…leave me behind. The rest of my tribe…they hated me, taunted me…they sent me after the thunder brothers, so I'd get myself killed. They blamed me for my mothers' death." Tears made tracks down the already sorrow stained cheeks "I was afraid…you might…try to get rid of me too."
"Shippou!" Inuyasha snapped, forcefully making the kit looked him in the eyes "We would never leave you behind, how could you think that? You're a pain in the ass, but you're our pain in the ass. Hell, they put with a lot more shit from me and Miroku and we're still here."
"But you don't like me!" defended Shippou stubbornly "and your pack leader, you get to decide to stays. I was afraid…that if I was too weak…that you'd make me leave."
"Do you honestly think Kagome would let me pull a stunt like that? She'd 'sit' me six feet under and you know it." He paused and regarded the kit irately "and who said I didn't like you? You piss me off sometimes but…you remind me of me at your age."
"I do?"
"Hell yes! Listen Shippou, you should have said something we would have helped…I would have helped." The kit regarded his elder carefully, unsure of the tentative place he was in. Inuyasha was never this nice to him and it kind of freaked him out; usually his crying resulted in a hard thump on the head but this time…this time the harsh hanyou was being almost..tender…Sniffling, the kit instinctively nuzzled against the warmth of the inu demons body and, as much to his surprise as the kits, he allowed the action.
"Losing someone…a parent…hurts…"he paused, noting with some pleasure that the kit was watching intently, but knew watching and listening were not enough. Shippou needed at this point not to just hear him, but to understand. Otherwise, his pain would eat him up inside. "When I was about your age, my mother passed away. She'd developed a human infection in the autumn and come the end of winter was already headed toward her funeral pyre; I was cast out not days after her ashes reached their resting place and was told never to return." Bitterness managed to creep back into his voice, memories of the jeering taunts of adults as he was turned out into the frozen forest harsh realties for the much older hanyou."I travelled as best I could, catching what little food I could, and lived as best I could considering the harsh elements and my inexperience. In spring I sought out Sesshomaru only to be told to be gone and die as "my kind" deserved, alone and hated. Every day it hurt Shippou; not the cold, or the hunger, but knowing that I couldn't be with her. Whenever a new moon rose, I'd think of her most and cry my self sick with missing her. As the years passed it got easier…but I always missed her.
"Will…will it ever stop hurting?" Smiling sadly at the young child, he saw in the kit what he himself had been at the same age: a scared, hurting, lonely creature. This time, at least, there was a chance to fix what had been broken in himself so many years before. Holding the kit a bit closer, Inuyasha sighed gently.
"I'm afraid not runt; it may not hurt as badly or as often, but now and then it will still hurt to think about him. But in a way that's good…the hurting means that you love him."
"I do love him I just…I wish….I wish." Shushing him, Inuyasha moved him to the ground and leaned close to his face
"Don't wish for nothing, wishing doesn't bring your father back. You've got us now runt, like it or not, and we're gonna make sure you don't need to wish for your father got it?" Much to the hanyou's surprise, the little kit wrapped his arms in a tight hug around the man's neck and than jumped on to his back.
"I'm not so sad anymore," he murmured, tucking his fathers' fur back into his shatsu and clinging Inuyasha back while he stood up.
"Good to know runt, come on lets get back. It's almost dawn and I don't want to miss the performance."
"Miroku sleeping next to her again? Baka" Inuyasha chuckled at the kit's antics, letting the silence fall back on them as they walked. "You know Inuyasha…we're lucky you and I."
"Lucky? What do you mean?"
"I mean" Shippou said slowly, as though speaking to a particularly dense toddler "we've found a family, a really great family. Us, who no one wanted, how much luckier can you get?
"Know what Runt?" Inuyasha said thoughtfully, a small smile touching as face as Kagome's tousled head came into view "I think you just might be right."
Fini
A/N: And done! Took a good two hours, but I think it turned out okay for rusty old me! Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it. Anyway, you know how it goes I'm sure. Push the little button, and review
