A rolling girl, is always far away.
She tore the brush through her hair, pulling a few strands out with the brush. The slight pain didn't faze her, it never did. Her reflection in the mirror was that of a once beautiful girl, but she knew better not to think of herself as anything except nothing, or, that's what the other kids told her she was. Nothing. Mayu had always felt far away from everybody, even herself.
In her dream world, she longs to stay.
Sometimes, the teenager couldn't even tell if what she was doing was reality, or the dream place she'd created to escape the hurt of the world she lived in. She was done doing her hair; she didn't bother to put on much makeup, besides her eyeliner and mascara. Heaving a sigh, she changed into her school's uniform before grabbing her things and exiting the house.
So much noise, buzzing 'round inside her head.
Mayu had always lived in Tokyo, Japan. Constant noise from cars, trains and people had never really bothered her much. It helped her not concentrate on some of the issues in her life, some. Turning her gaze to the grey sky, she thought to herself, 'It's sad, just like me.' It hadn't even felt like she was in control of her body; she hadn't even noticed she was at school until she'd sat down at her desk.
All the worries never end, all the worries never end.
A familiar sound came from her breast pocket; a text message had been received. Mayu retrieved the phone from its place, flipping the screen up. Lapis Aoki was the name displayed across the screen, [1] Text Message(s) were the words displayed next to the name. Aoki had always been Mayu's best friend, since grade school. Her eyes narrowed as she read over the text a few more times, "Hey Mayu-Chan! :D I hope you have an excellent day at school today, I won't be in class today...Sorry! o" The text only made Mayu worry, Aoki had always been a bit...Suicidal. It made her worried that her friend wouldn't be in class that day, what if she was making yet another attempt?
"No problem" is so easily said.
Whenever Mayu had ever asked Aoki if there was a problem, her response was always the same, "Oh Mayu-chan! There's no problem, you silly girl!" with the same smile and giggle, when it was painfully obvious that there was, as a matter of fact, a problem.
But now, is there any meaning left?
Aoki had told her "No problem" so many times, that it had almost no meaning left. Mayu wanted to believe her, but that small sliver of want kept on disappearing day by day, as realization was sinking into her brain.
She fails once more; fails once more.
It was almost weekly that she tried to kill herself; Mayu couldn't even keep track of how many times she'd tried to end herself. Aoki didn't mean to hurt her close friend, but God; she was hurting her almost as much as she was hurting herself. The pain was unreal and the teenager couldn't help but wish she'd just hurry up and be done with it. It was a horrible thing to think of her friend, but it was unfortunately true.
After searching for the odd one out in the crowd.
More and more students poured into the class room just before the bell went off, signalling that class was about to begin. Girls chatted about dates they'd been on, boys chatted about the new videogames they'd seen in the GameStop near their homes. Then there was Mayu, sitting in her desk, silent as could be. She searched the classroom, trying to find the other odd one, but gave up. Aoki and she were the only odd ones, but Aoki wasn't there to make her feel better about being weird. It wasn't that Mayu was actually weird or anything like that; she was just insanely shy, and sad like Aoki was.
She starts spinning again.
"Good morning everybody!" A cheerful voice beamed, grabbing every student's attention, "I hope each and every one of you had a wonderful weekend." She continued, "Now, please feel free to do something productive for the first ten minutes of class; please try to be as quiet as you can as well, thank you." Mayu took this as an opportunity to write in her journal, or, as she liked to call it: Spinning.
One more time; one more time.
Taking out her pencil, and opening her journal, her hand automatically started to write down how she felt. "It's me again...Lately I've been feeling pretty down in the dumps lately. It's probably because of Aoki's influence; or maybe that Len's got a new girlfriend, Rin. I think she should die, just like me. Do I really deserve to still be here, writing petty little issues so I can just re-read this and feel my own pain? Maybe one more time; one more time, I'll take out my razor blade. Life sucks, life isn't fair. I want to die, but I don't have the guts like Aoki does to even attempt to kill myself. It's so weird, these emotions. I'm barely happy, maybe I need to find something or someone to fill my hole. I mean, Aoki sure doesn't do it for me. All she does is constantly worry me, is it bad to say that sometimes I just wish she'd actually succeed so she wouldn't have to complain anymore? It probably is, but whatever. I have to go though, Miki-sensei is making a round of the room to see what we're doing; I'd hate for her to see what I'm writing. –Mayu.
I think I will keep rolling on today too.
Mayu shoved the journal back into her bag, taking out a novel she was reading at home, "The fault in our stars" and opened to where she had left off the night before. Miki had almost passed by the blonde before halting, and kneeling down beside the girl, "Which book is that?" the teacher asked, her voice sweet. Mayu's lips kind of twitched into a smile, "The fault in our stars." She half whispered. A smile formed on Miki's lips, "You have wonderful taste, that's one of my favorite books." She said, before continuing on. The smile stayed on Mayu's face as she pulled out her journal again: "P.s, I think I will keep rolling on today too." She wrote, feeling a feeling she hadn't felt for a very long time.
And so she says, so she says.
Maybe she could slowly start to feel happiness once more. How could just one little comment make her feel so happy? How could one sentence make her have a beautiful smile on her face again?
Making sure that each of her words is sincere.
What she'd written in her journal, she'd meant. Mayu pulled out her phone from her pocket again, a text from an unknown number flashed across her screen. There were two messages from this strange number, 'Weird.' She thought to herself as she read the message, "Hey...If this is Mayu in class 2 of year 10, I have a question...Btw, I'm a boy in your class, and you might or might not know me."
Are you okay? No, I'm in a daze.
The text took her by surprise; it was none of his business! She re-read it, "I've noticed though, that you seem sad-no; depressed. Are you okay? You could talk to me anytime you want/need to you know! Btw, my name's Hatsune Mikuo. If you look over to the second row near the middle you can probably see me ^0^" Who the hell did this guy think he was?! She didn't want to tell him that she was really in a daze, but...Instead she wrote something else.
Trying to escape, but I just don't see the point.
"Oh...Hi there, I guess." She paused typing, actually looking for this guy. Sure enough, he was there, his hair a stunning shade of teal blue. It was amazing, and he was cute... Mayu continued on with the text, "It's really weird of you to have my number, did Aoki give it to you? She's about the only one to have my number; besides you." Clicking send, she waited for this kid to reply. His reply was almost instantaneous. "Yes, Aoki Lapis did give me your number. She told me you're sad, so I figured I might be able to cheer you up, maybe be a friend! Idk c:" Mayu bit her lip, a friend? It seemed a bit iffy but she decided to trust this guy, and if he spread it around, she'd introduce him to her best friend; her axe. "Yes, it's true. I have been a little sad lately. It's like a prison inside my mind, I keep trying to escape, but I just don't see the point. It rather sucks, but I'm kind of used to it..." she typed, sighing. Nervously, she hit send and waited. His reply was quick, "Oh no, I'm sorry to hear that." A short reply, but whatever, Mayu didn't really mind. Another text was received just as she was about to put it away. It was from Aoki.
Maybe I should just stop...Breathing.
Authors Note
Hello :3 So, this is a fanfiction based off of the song "Rolling Girl" by Wowaka, and translated by Zoozbuh. I decided to use the new vocaloids Mayu, and Aoki Lapis just because there isn't much about them c: I hope you enjoyed my fanfiction, and please review or favorite it! No hate on it though, thanks :) Have a wonderful day/night!
P.s, it took two hours to write! Oh my gosh I'm tired now hehe! ^0^ Also, if you'd like, you can Kik me at Kuroyuri_sama ! I'd love to talk to new people! :)