Title: Animamundi's most important questions

Author: Slave of Master Pimy - Me

Summary: Have you ever felt like you didn't know something essential of Animamundi? Here, you will find answers.

Warning: Total crack! I don't know if it qualifies as OOCness because Meffie sounds pretty 'normal' to me. Meffie, and not Peffie, as I once said... Neh Master? I am not responsible for the crack, this is the characters' fault if they are crack inducing... Oh, and I am always high on something (sugar, coffee, tea or chocolate chips cookies) when writing.

Hope you'll enjoy your reading.^^

Note: Thanks to Master Pimy who helps me to find questions to answer. If anyone has any question, please, feel free to ask.

First question: Why did Lucifer quit Hell to possess a Zaberisk?

Deep into Hell's coldest pits – because yes, Hell can be cold, though it's more incidental than anything else – silence reigned like an ancient king who would tolerate no disturbance. But what when the disturbance is cause by the supposed King of Hell?

"MEPHISTO!!!!!!!!!!" The name rang like thunder, breeching the icy stone of the cavern, making the whole Cocytus shake under its wrath. It was not unusual for Hell's 'inhabitants' to hear something so terrible. In fact, it became quite normal ever since Mephistopheles had been promoted to Lucifer's household. In the mansion, it was total wreckage: no furniture was amiss but the tension was evident.

"Didst thou called me Master?" Said Mephisto, absolutely nonplussed at Lucifer's outburst – true, he was used to it. Anyone in his right mind would have fled centuries ago but again, Mephisto was NOT someone you can label as sane without being told that it's an oxymoron. Or a moron… Depends on how you look at it. So, to sum up the situation:

-Mephistopheles stood still before Lucifer

-Lucifer was fuming – acting thus like a perfect Smaug-cosplay

- Mephistopheles had – again – managed to get his master in a compromising position

- Mephistopheles looked totally unfazed

- Lucifer really looked like he was going to burn him to ashes – in the best of cases

In short: Mephisto ought to have started running for his life right when Lucifer had cracked an eye open – some 20 seconds prior.

BUT, being the oversized bat he would later on be labelled as, Mephisto seemed to have less than a bat's brain and thus, didn't move an inch away, stuck as he was, in a rather meticulous observation of Lucifer's naked form. Which earned him a pretty mean blow on the head from Lucifer who said:

"Did I? I don't remember why though…" After a second, he added: "Oh, yes. Me screaming your name was definitely not – despite what you might want to think it was – a mere enraptured cry at your… ministration, but a simple warning for you to GET OUT before I decide to chop your wings and horns off, right before roasting you like some sinner. And as you seemed determined to see for yourself what I meant by 'your cruel demise' last day, I would feel absolutely terrible not obliging." The tone was cold, almost as cold as Cocytus' waters.

"You shouldn't be too hard on him, dear husband. Merely was Mephisto wishing to provide you the comfort I cannot give you anymore." Intervened Lilith. Lucifer cast her a sceptical glance, as if pondering if she was on his side or not, before reminding himself that Lilith never sided with anyone but herself. And truth be told, she seemed to enjoy the scene immensely.

"My Queen…" Said Mephistopheles, bowing before her.

"Now, Mephisto… Do you seriously think I would let you get away with it?" Asked Lucifer with a steely edge in his voice that spoke of hellish torment to come for the demon, should his answer be considered as unsatisfying.

Mephistopheles was – for once – wise enough not to answer and therefore, just sat here while listening to Lucifer. Said Prince of Hell, upon witnessing no reaction whatsoever from his 'lieutenant', decided that now was the time to pull his trump card, namely, the possibility for him to abandon his body here and let his own soul wander and plague some human.

"As you both seem unaffected by my current state of stress and repressed anger, I'm considering going to the human world." This elicited a horrified gasp from Mephistopheles, who almost glomped the Higher Demon in his disbelief.

"Going… to the human world? Lucifer-sama, I am afraid I do not understand thy reasoning."

"It is quite simple, actually. I will abandon the both of you and go to 'have fun' in the human world, at men's expense, that goes without saying."

"You wouldn't, would you?" Asked Lilith in a worried tone. "What if you stay here because your host dies an untimely death? Only a pact with another demon such a Mephistopheles would bring you back, and even so, the person you would be possessing would have to agree to his…"

"Term of service." Provided Mephisto none too happily.

Lucifer was not pleased in the slightest with his subordinate's answer and sighed: "Alright… Now, should you try and molest my host, just think of all the torments you will have to endure… And quit smirking!" Unable to resist, he whacked Mephisto on the head, careful not to pin his hand on his horns.

"I was not smirking, thou art mistaken." Said Mephistopheles, rubbing his aching skull.

"And now you try to tell me that I am blind? Don't you think you are pushing the matters a bit too far?"

Upon seeing that both Lilith and Mephistopheles have fallen silent, Lucifer groaned. These two idiots really should learn not to annoy him! Between Lilith who has fun driving every one mad and Mephisto who has the – sad – habit, of hitting on him every second, he was getting nut!

His mind was set… He was going away from Hell and all this smoke, fires, screams and insane demons… Off to the human world – it possibly wouldn't be worst than suffering their stupidity. Storming out of his mansion, he dashed through Hell in a very un-royal fashion, absolutely careless that he was going to the gate half-naked. He knew his body will be destroyed when he'll set a foot outside but there will always be a way for him to regain it, anyway.

He heard hurried steps behind him – Mephistopheles sure was persistent. "Master, please, don't go. I promise never to act like this ever again."

"Ever again is an awfully long period of time. Don't resent me but I don't think you'll be able to stay away from my bedchamber for more than two days at most." And with this, Lucifer stepped out of the gate, leaving behind him a distressed Mephisto who could only but mourn the loss of his most perfect and gorgeous Master… No more spying Lucifer when having a shower. Mephisto let out a shivering moan. He would never survive, he had to get Lucifer back… But first, he had to know who will be harbouring his soul.

Lucifer, unaware of his underling's schemes went to find a decent host for his soul. He knew he would lost all his memories at once and thus, had to find someone who would be able to contact Mephisto someday – and find a way to give him his body back. He thus settled his choice on a young alchemist of the Zaberisk family. Smiling inwardly, Lucifer went to settle in the deepest core of this man, to wait in slumber for the day he would be awoken. But until then, he would sleep and catch up for all those sleepless nights Mephisto had been responsible of.

Little did he know that in Hell, Mephisto was playing the evil mastermind part in starting to follow his host's life with great attention, his mind set on only one goal: getting Lucifer's back – mind and body, preferably.

So, are you guys still alive? Yeah, right. I cracked. Though I daresay that even though I took a few... liberties... with the plotline, it seems like something Lucifer would do.

I know that he doesn't hate Meffie though...

Next question - courtesy of Master: What with the nail polish? This would be answered by Dash and Ruth.