Heyy!!!!!!!!

I'm back with another one-shot for you!!!! Yay!!!!!

Anyway, I got the idea for this whilst re-re-re-reading New Moon and this song came on my IPod. At 2am. Couldn't sleep.

I might turn this into a multi-chapter Fic with Ch.2 as Edward POV on this chapter and then maybe Ch.3 with snippets in other Cullen's POV's. MAYBE. Not promising anything. Depends on the reviews.

So – Edward has been gone 5 months now and Bella is depressed.

Charlie and her live in a house in the woods (a bit like the Cullen's house). They're a bit richer than the books. And that's about all I need to tell.

So, yeah, Enjoy…………………………

My Heart Will Go On

I was sat on my window seat, staring out at the rare, cloudless sky. Trying, and failing, to keep the memories of him out.

Edward.

My arms automatically went to clutch my chest. It hurt so bad when I so much as thought about him or the rest of the Cullen's. I missed them all, even Rosalie.

I started taking slow deep breaths to try and slow my gasping.

My IPod was playing from the docking station on my desk.

Music was my life now, my safe place.

A place where no-one could hurt me.

I sighed quietly as I got up off the seat and looked around my decent-sized bedroom.

It was painted a deep blue with a silver edge. My king size bed stood in the far corner with blue and silver sheets covering it and two white bedside tables sanding next to it. The closet door, en-suite door and main bedroom door all were on the wall next to my bed and my desk, which held my laptop, cell phone and IPod were opposite my bed. I have a long window running down the other wall with a blue window seat. The flat screen TV was next to it, mounted on the wall.

I slowly walked to my full-length mirror.

I stood silently, just taking in my reflection.

My once pretty brown hair now hang limp and lifeless, my eyes a dull brown – none of their former depth or shine. My eyes travelled down my body to my torso, as I lifted my blue shirt out the way. This was the worst. My curves had vanished and my ribs and pelvic bones stuck out. My arms looked so fragile, my legs thinner than pins sticking out my old denim shorts. I looked like I could snap in half at a slight breeze.

My depression had defiantly taken its toll on my body.

But I just couldn't bring my self to eat or go out or even read. Breathing became a hard task.

I got up, went to school, came home, did my homework, cooked for Charlie, went to my room, listen to my music and went to bed. At weekends, like today and tomorrow, was the same except for school and homework; I just stayed in my room and listened to more music.

As I slowly dropped my shirt and went back to my blue window seat, My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion started playing.

As the opening instrumental came on I sat with my legs folded under me and stared out to the horizon.

Oh, Edward, where are you?

Do you miss me as much as I miss you?

Of course he doesn't, you silly girl, he doesn't love you anymore, remember you were just a fling to pass the time.

At this thought a tear fell down my cheek.

I was falling apart and no-one and nothing could stop it apart from him.

Yet another tear made a trail on my cheek.

Every night in my dreams

I see you, I feel you

That is how I know you

Go on

I sang along, realising this was exactly my song, my life.

Edward and the rest of the Cullen's regularly appeared in my dreams, day and night.

Far across the distance

And spaces between us

You have come to show you

Go on

Edward may be so far away but his memory still remains with me.

Near, far, wherever you are,

I believe that the heart does go on

I curled up, with my back against the wall, and finger trailing random patterns on the window.

Once more you opened the door

And you here in my heart and

My heart will go on and on

Edward will always be in my heart, no matter how much it hurts.

I was still singing, it was helping a fraction, I guess, letting all my feelings out.

But I know the pain will never, ever go away.

Love can touch us one time

And last for a life time

And never let go till we're gone

He was my first and probably only love. And aside from the pain and anger at him for using me, my love will never go away.

I sat forward onto my knees now, hands resting in my lap, still looking out the window.

Love was when I loved you,

One true time I hold to,

In my life we'll always go on

How can he seriously think that love like mine would ever stop? Loving him was my true time and I'll keep holding onto it forever.

Near, far, wherever you are,

I believe that the heart does go on,

I sat there, on my knees, head tilted towards the sky, hand clutching my heart, singing, tears running down my cheeks, memories of the good times.

Our first kiss, the meadow, cooking with Esme, snow fights with Emmett – even shopping with Alice.

Once more you opened the door

And you're here in my heart and

My heart will go on and on

Slowly I stood up on my seat and pushed open the window as wide as it would go, looking back over my shoulder, into my room, the letters I wrote for Charlie and Renee on my desk, everything in perfect order, like no-one lived there.

Taking a deep breath I looked back out, the sun was going down a bit and Charlie was away fishing so there was no chance of him stopping me.

I could jump.

I could end the pain now.

I closed my eyes and whispered into the wind.

"The ultimate act of selfishness, I'm so sorry. To all of you. Charlie, Renee…E-e-Edward, Alice, Emmett, Esme, Rosalie and Carlisle. I'm so, so sorry."

Taking what would be my last breaths, a soft, desperate voice called out

"Bella, Bella, love, no, No! I lied – I Love you"

My eyes snapped open.

That was no hallucination.

The source of the voice was standing on the edge of the woods surrounding my home, his family in a line behind.

A look of desperation on his flawless face. Our eyes locked, communicating without words.

A smile formed on my face.

He was here and he loved me. For real.

I clutched the window frame for support, as I tried to put all my love for him into my voice.

I sucked in a breath and sang with more power, force and love than ever before.

You're here, there's nothing I fear

And I know that my heart will go on

I slowly sank to my knees as he ran and was up and sat next to me on my window sill quicker than ever before. I knelt facing him, both of us smiling the whole time,

"Keep singing." He breathed.

Taking his hands and holding on for dear life I continued to sing.

We'll stay forever this way

You are safe in my heart

I pulled our joined hands up and placed them over both our hearts, my eyes never leaving his.

And my heart will go on

And on

Slowly we leaned in,

As our lips touched, the familiar old spark came back.

My arms going around his neck and his around my tiny waist, pulling me closer.

The kiss was the best kiss we ever shared - passionate, sweet and loving.

As we pulled apart, our foreheads resting on one-another, I saw the rest of the Cullen's together and smiling.

I turned my eyes back to Edwards, staring deep into the depths of what are probably each others souls, we whispered

"I Love You, Forever."

A/N –

SO………………What do you think???????????????

BTW - Bellas room is on the 3rd floor - so yeah she probably would die if she jumped.

I mean absolutly NO offence to anyone. Suicide is a tough subject and can be touchy or painfull for certain people who have family/friends or have been suicidal before.

Please, please, please, please, please, please, please REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hope you liked it!!!!!!!

Luv Ashley xx

:D