Prologue
"No. No, no, no, no, no."
"But I-"
"I said no, Edward!" Bella screeched, drawing curious stares from their fellow hooch hounds.
Edward sighed and slumped back against the booth's seat. "You're being a real closed-minded bitch here, Bella. I offer up the perfect solution for our money problems and you shoot it down. It's not like I'm suggesting we take a hit out on anyone."
Bella groaned, leaning forward and burying her face in her folded arms. Edward couldn't decipher her muffled reply.
"What the fuck are you saying?"
"I said," she huffed, lifting her head and levelling him with an incredibly brassed-off stare, "we wouldn't have the money to hire a hit man anyway."
They both paused, at an impasse, before dissolving into laughter.
"We'd have to kill way too many people," Edward joked, drowning any residual hiccups with a generous gulp of his beer.
Bella's expression hardened into seriousness again, but she also looked a little sad. And a whole lot scared. "You're really serious about this, aren't you?"
He considered her for a moment before he nodded. "Yeah, I'm serious. Bella, what other realistic options do we have at this moment?"
She flipped her hair out of her eyes and shrugged. "I just don't think-"
"Look." He leaned across the booth's table toward her. "We need a pretty big chunk of money as of, like, yesterday. Short of robbing a bank – and I really don't want to end up in some prison cell, getting my salad tossed on a regular basis, thank you very much – this is really our only option."
"But…" She looked at him, eyes limpid with ambivalence. She lowered her voice to a loud whisper. "It's porn. I don't think I'm cut out for something like that."
"Come on, Bella," he pleaded. "At least think it over. We can sleep on it and then talk it over in the morning, figure out the logistics and shit."
She was far from entirely convinced. But with next to no money to spare and a cold, dark apartment awaiting them, she wasn't sure they had any other choice.
Yeah, I don't own these characters. First full chapter coming soon. (And yes, this is obviously heavily inspired by the Kevin Smith movie, Zack and Miri Make a Porno.)