He doesn't understand how he didn't notice. After six years of knowing her, living with her for three of those years, how could he not have realized? He's shaking by the time he reaches the manor, fury coursing through his veins as he ascends the stairs.
He finds her at her desk, legs thrown over the arm of her chair as she flips through one of the trashy novels that she's borrowed from Isabela, dark curls loose and falling into her eyes. He almost forgets that he is angry until the sleeve of her robes slips back, revealing fresh bandages wrapped tightly around her wrists.
She doesn't even look up when he storms over toward her.
"Zephyra."
She glances up then, lips curving into a smile, "Yes Anders?"
The calm in her voice causes something in him to snap. He yanks the book out of her hands and pulls her to her feet. Her eyes widen and a small gasp of pain escapes her lips as his fingers dig into the fresh wounds on her arm.
"Anders-"
"How long?" His voice is dangerously low
"Anders please-"
"Answer me, dammit!"
She lowers her eyes to the ground, "eight years. It started when I was sixteen."
So young. "Why would you do something so stupid? Don't you understand that whatever demon you've dealt with-"
She moves quickly, so fast that he scarcely realizes that she has escaped his grasp before her fist connects with his jaw. He tastes blood and feels around with his tongue to make sure that none of his teeth have been knocked loose.
A sudden surge of power brings his attention back to the woman standing before him. Her face is contorted with rage, her eyes narrowed as sparks dance at her fingertips, a cloud of blood red energy swirling around her ankles. Right now, she is the very picture of a dangerous apostate made flesh.
"You would dare speak to me of demons," she sneers, "when you have allowed one to take up residence in your body. Maker, even Merrill isn't that much of an idiot."
Anders gritted his teeth, fighting to keep Justice from pushing through, "How else could you have learned? It's the only way-"
A burst of force sent him flying into the wall and , suddenly, he felt all control of his body leave him as Justice forced his way through.
"YOU WOULD DARE CALL ME A DEMON, BLOOD MAGE?!" Justice roared, reaching for Anders' staff
"What else would wrest control of a persons mind and body," Zephyra spat, "you claim to want mage freedom, but you have already caused the death of one who you should have protected! All because she saw you for what you are,demon."
"I AM NO DEMON!"
Anders beat against the walls of his mind as he watched his hands wrap around Zephyra's throat and hoist her off the ground. She struggled, clawing at his arms as her pale skin began to take on a blue tinge. Suddenly a jolt of electricity shot through his body, sending them both to the floor. Justice retreated and Anders pulled her to him.
"Zeph, are you alright?"
"I should have expected that," She gasped, rubbing her neck, "but I think that you can see my point now."
"W-what? You baited a fade spirit..to make a point? Are you mad, I almost killed you!"
She looked up at him, a humorless smile playing on her lips, "Exactly. A mage does not need to willingly consort with demons to do harm. Or learn blood magic."
She kissed him on the cheek before rising to her feet and heading towards the door.
"Zephyra-"
"Anders, magic is a tool like any other, Blood magic, is just an augmentation to tools we already have," she said, grabbing her staff, " the Chantry does not fear bringing it's full might to bear against us, so we should be willing to do the same."
Anders watched her lace her boots, his heart sinking at the look of pure hatred in her eyes.
"Isn't there another way?"He whispered," if they catch you-"
"There isn't and they won't." she replied, " The Divine wants to march on Kirkwall and declare war on mages? Let her. But if it comes to war…there can be no compromises."
And with that, she swept out of the room.
months later, he repeats her words a he sets the world aflame.