Caged Bird
Summary: She was a bird in a cage and she was his, no matter how much she hated it. Even though she was a caged bird she still dreamt of the bright blue sky. Of being free.
Kagome sadly gazed at her reflection, no her reflection not hers but Kikyo's. It had been five; five long years since she had began her journey through the well.
She sighed as she brushed her long straight black hair, so much like hers, for what felt like the hundredth time and it probably was. Her dull blue eyes, the one thing that used to separate them because unlike her, her eyes were so full of life and joy, were now tired and washed out as they followed the movement of her slim pale hand.
Kagome silently let her mind float off to better times, times when she was young and innocent to the harsh realities of the world. Times when she was happy and carefree, the times she was free. Before she had been thrown head first into the harsh cold world of the past were horrible things happened every day, every minute, every second and no one batted an eye or tried to help those in need. Rather they minded their own business silently thanking the Gods it was not they that were in peril, turning blind eyes to the suffering in front of them.
But she did not, no she went out of her way to help those in need, even if it meant that others thought her foolish and naive to think that she could make a difference even if it meant she would get hurt in the end. And yes she might have been foolish to put herself in danger for complete strangers but she knew she was making a difference, even if it was a very small one, she was still making a difference.
She saw it every day she woke up and watched her small group interact, people who never in their lives would have even cast a second glance at each other had it not been for her bringing them together and helping them overcome their differences. They were traveling companions who would, had many times, risked their lives for each other. Not just because they were companions but because they were family.
A family brought together by the cruel hands of faith yet they made the best of it, traveling across Japan gathering the shards so f the Shikon no tama helping as many as they could along the way all the while trying to defeat the great evil that plagued the world. Unintentionally bringing those that would never have met let alone fought alongside each other together sharing a common enemy and goal, the goal of one day defeating the great evil that threatened their land, family, friends, and their very future.
A future that she used to be a part of, but had broken all ties with two years into their journey in hopes of helping more, because how could she keep running back to her time if she did not fight for the future, which was her time. The time her family and friends lived in not knowing of the battles that were fought to make it so. She had left her time, family and friends behind in order to protect them and their carefree lives. They did not take her decision well, which was to be expected.
They felt as if she was abandoning them, that she was choosing her friends in the past over them, her own family. Yet it was the other way around, she was choosing them because she knew that if she failed in her duty everything would change. She was choosing to fight to protect their future, a future that she no longer held claim to.
She had a duty to fulfill in the past, one that she could and would not hand off to another no matter what and secondly because she felt like a stranger in her own time, her own home, and to her own family. She mussed it was only a matter of time, after all she ran around in the past fighting every day to stay alive to restore the jewel and defeat possibly the greatest evil to ever walk the face of the earth and destroy whatever he touched.
While the hardest thing they would ever have to deal with would probably be a rowdy teenager causing trouble at the shrine in order to look cool in front of his friends, something that was easily fixed with a quick call to the police station.
So she had packed what she needed mostly food and supplies along with a few personal items photo albums, her first diary which was a gift from her late grandmother, a blanket her mother had hand made for her, the book of Chinese fairy tales her grandfather had bought on one of his trips to china in his younger days, the silver ring Souta had gotten for her birthday last year, and the silver hair brush, that was the last thing her father had given to her before he had died on her sixth birthday. And left.
She did not bother saying good-bye, she knew where her family stood they were not happy at all, hell her own mother had disowned her claiming that if she left for good then she was dead to her. Even Souta who had idolized her and Inu Yasha had screamed and yelled claiming that she loved her friends more than she did him and that she could go and rot over there for all he cared.
Surprisingly it was her grandfather who was the most accepting of her decision, he knew the burden she carried and was proud that she wasn't running away from her duties. He had comforted her when the rest of her family and friends turned their backs on her. He explained that it was very hard for everyone else to know that when she left that they would probably never see her again.
They were afraid of losing her because they knew they could lose her to the demon-infested times of the warring states era. That anger was the only way they knew how to deal with it, and even though they were angry with her they still loved her. Because no matter what they would always love her.
That was the first time since her grandmother's death that she had seen him act so responsible so unlike the foolish and senile old coot she was used to. She broke down and cried his arms, cried for all that she had lost and would lose. All because of one stupid little jewel. All because she wanted to save a little boy from being killed.
It was the next day she left for good with no one to see her off, not that she expected any one to yet she wanted to see their faces one last time to engrave them in to her mind, even if they were faces full of anger and hurt. Yet it seemed that was just one more thing the Gods had denied her.
So with a one last regrettable sigh she let her tear filled eyes sweep over her home for one last time before she allowed her herself to fall back into the darkness of the well, into the past and her future.
Kagome flinched as the door to her room was opened dragging her out of her memories as a figure slowly entered the room bringing with him a sudden chill that seemed to encase the room.
She continued to brush her hair as the figure moved to stand behind her his form being reflected in the mirror as he rested his hands on her shoulders causing a shiver of disgust to race down her spine.
His pale skin was a stark contrast to his long wavy black hair and dark purple and black kimono. His red eyes stood out against his pale flawless skin outlined by the purple eye shadow like markings as he smirked at her in the mirror.
Kagome paid him no mind and continued to brush her hair, it was after all one of the only things that kept her sane nowadays, besides it gave her a small satisfaction to blatantly ignore him so when he thought that he had crushed her so long ago.
He would never completely crush her no matter what he did. She unlike her incarnation would not be so easily broken. Though he had tried time and time again to do so, in every way possible. And even though she no longer held the fire she used to she still defied him in the smallest of ways, the ways that got under his skin even though he refused to show it because it would give her pleasure. Because she knew that he knew he had failed to break her completely. Not once during the past two years had he done so. Sure he might have dampened her will but he had not crushed it.
Yes, it had been two years hadn't it? Two years since she made the decision that changed her life forever. Two years since Inu Yasha had chosen her over herself. Two years since she had moved on and found love again, only to have it ripped from her grasps yet again. Two years since Miroku had been sucked into his own wind tunnel. Two years since Kaede had died of old age. Two years since Shippo had run away after their little makeshift family began to crumble around them.
Two years since she had traded her freedom for that of Kohaku's. Two years since she had given up her very life for the safety of her remaining friends. Two years since she had made a deal with the devil. The very devil that stood behind her and gazed almost lovingly at her refection. Yet his gaze was nothing more than another way to mock. He knew it and she knew it.
He was not capable of love, affection, or even attachment. He was a demon and demons did not love they owned. She was his, had been for the past two years there was no use denying it they both knew it. It was the term of their pact; she would be his in return for the freedom and safety of her friends.
She was also the holder of the Shikon no tama, which was at this very moment resting around her slim pale neck, because the jewel refused to be used and tossed around like a hot potato anymore instead it preferred to be with it's chosen guardian. Which happened to be her, that was not to say that it was useless, oh no it allowed its power to flow into her and in turn him, because he was her mate, the scar on her neck was proof of that.
She inwardly smirked when he frowned at her blatant insult yet her smirk soon became a wince as he tightened his hold on her shoulders, his claws digging into her flesh, causing little flowers of red to stain the pristine white haori of the miko grab he made her wear.
Yet she did not give him the satisfaction of an outward grievance, instead she kept her face emotionless not unlike a certain demon lord she had met and developed some kind of feelings for in the past, which he had returned until his ward was killed. After that he had gone into a recluse and abandoned his lands. Last she heard he was wandering China as a form of self-punishment.
She was brought out of her thoughts as his breath ghosted over her ear sending a shiver of discomfort down her spine, she hated it when he touched her person let alone invaded her personal space.
"I know whom you are thinking of."
Her hand froze mid stoke as he leaned in even closer his red eyes catching hers in the mirror. Yet she regained her composure and continued her self-grooming. "And who would that be?"
He growled low in his throat as his eyes bore into her own, "You know very well whom I am talking about."
She inwardly smirked again she knew it got under his skin when she thought of him, her second love, and first lover. "Oh. You mean Lord Sesshoumaru."
He snorted lightly knowing she was enjoying this. "He is no longer a lord. If you have forgotten he turned his back on his lands long ago."
She nodded. "Hai, but at least his lands were his own and not stolen."
His claws dug deeper into her flesh. "Be that as it may they are still my lands just as you are mine. Both to do with as I please."
She didn't answer him but continued to groom her hair.
He quickly grew bored with her silence and deiced that she was becoming to willful once again, she was not allowed to ignore him nor was she allowed to think of him and she knew it. He would have to punish her, he smirked as a thought struck him. He would enjoy tonight's punishment because he knew she loathed it.
He retracted his claws from her shoulders rather roughly, pulling away the fabric of her haori in the process, causing her to stiffen, as he leaned down to lap at the blood that marred her pale skin. Once he was sure her left shoulder was clean and the tiny wounds healed he moved to her right shoulder to repeat the process once done her moved his mouth to her ear giving it a quick nip. "You are to come to my chambers after your nightly bath. I have need of you."
She nodded solemnly. "Hai."
Her voice sounded weak and broken, just the way he liked it.
He smirked as he pulled away from her tense form and moved to leave her room. She could not deny him or his needs. They both knew it; she was his mate thus he could do what he wanted with her when he wanted. It was his right as a man and her mate, she would bend to his every will or she would be punished. He was certain it would only be a matter of time before he crushed her will completely.
He had waited five years to get to the point he was at now, what was a few more? He allowed his smirk to become a small smile as he closed the door behind him and walked towards his own chambers, the sound of a shattering mirror echoing behind him.
Soon, very soon she would shatter just like the mirror she had shattered and when she did he would pick up the pieces only to shatter them again and again.
Kagome shook taking deep breaths to calm herself as she gazed at the broken shards that used to make up the mirror she had just shattered with her hairbrush. He could try to shatter her like she had her mirror but unlike her mirror she was not so easily destroyed, no she was more like the armor Sesshoumaru had once wore. Strong and durable because even if you managed to scratch or dent it, it endured and was still there at the end of the battle. Just like her, he could scratch and dent her as much as he wanted but she would endure.
She had to.