Disclaimer: I own nothing.
I don't remember the first time I died. I was two and my mother had given me a cookie before she turned her back. She was on the 'phone or something. I had stopped breathing before Jeannie convinced her to turn around. They got me to the hospital on time, obviously. When they did the allergen tests, I died a few more times, but that's okay; I don't remember any of that either.
I don't remember the first time I passed out. I remember where I was and why I wasn't eating, but I don't remember actually passing out. Mom was tempted to sue the camp, but Dad convinced her otherwise. I remember that entire fight. Most importantly, I remember my relief about not being diabetic. I don't think I could've taken it if they told me I couldn't have chocolate.
I don't remember the first time I was hit. Carson says that's normal with concussions. I don't even remember what I did; Jeannie does and she refuses to talk. Kate says that's normal, too. That i would /i have to be the only time my family was normal.
I don't remember my first time. That's probably for the best, though. Everyone always says the first time is the worst. I may not remember, but my subconscious does; so I just got all the awkwardness and confusion out of the way. Alcohol's good for that; getting rid of awkwardness, anyway.
I don't remember sleeping for two days straight; just to wind up in John's room. I don't remember punching him as hard as I could before I shoved him into the wall and kissed him. John says I turned right back around and went straight to my room to go back to sleep. I don't remember when that happened; when "the Major" became "John" nor when "McKay" became "Rodney." Probably, don't remember because it seemed natural at the time; or we were on the verge of death. That happens to us a lot. I don't remember when a passing notice of his attractiveness turned into lust and I i definitely /i don't remember when friendship turned into lo–affection. But then I guess that nobody remembers that. It's ironic, since my job is to remember everything, that the things I don't remember are the things that shape me the most.
Some things are better off forgotten. It is in those moments when we grasp for that which we do not remember that we are truly free of the tyranny of the everyday world. Only then are we free to dream. - Col. Alex Haddock, USAF