He never meant for anything to happen.
Really, he hadn't.
She just couldn't let it go.
She kept falling for all those unattainable, wrong-for-her guys, worming her way into their hearts, then finding herself heartbroken on the other side.
But that's what being a star was, right?
for all things must come to an end
A Will/Rachel Fanfiction
Written for Finny
Chapter One - The Fall
It isn't until August that Rachel admits she still wants to know what it would feel like to press her lips on his. She's a month fresh from her break-up with Finn, and only two weeks are left until her senior year.
She sees Mr. Schuester at the car wash, of all places. She's walking out of Melanie's [Lima's only Jewish friendly vegan food store, great prices too!] when she sees him across the street.
He's wearing a ratty old t-shirt, a hole on his right sleeve and another tear on the lower back.
She can't help the bubbly feeling in her stomach.
She hates herself for a minute, scenarios etching in her mind.
Him and her and his ratty t-shirt, pushed up against the piano-no. No, she can't afford to think like that.
New York.
She needs New York.
Kurt waves her down, holding his own bags from their shopping trip. She smiles. After all, Kurt knew exactly what to say when she needed to focus. It's why she was glad to have his friendship.
She's getting in Kurt's Navigator when she sees her.
Miss Pillsbury.
She never had a chance, did she?
That night, Kurt comes over for a sleepover. She's glad. After all, in the time between getting dropped off at her house and his arrival, she had much too time to think about being kissed roughly on the piano bench [or the stage] [or the-really why couldn't she stop thinking about it!]
That night, Kurt comes over for a sleepover. She's glad.
Turns out, Kurt can be very distracting when she's thinking about hot kisses and smeared lipstick.
The way Kurt talked about Blaine, she assumed they'd be together forever.
Then again, she'd assumed Finn would be with her forever too.
Rachel ignores Kurt's adamant defense of Blaine's decision to tell him they were better off as friends. Friends don't say I love you while looking at eachother like that.
Rachel wonders if Blaine saw something that Kurt didn't even realise, or if he met someone else.
Either way, for now Blaine is the enemy for hurting her best friend.
Her best friend. Isn't it strange how much her life has changed?
They're having a pity party at three in the morning. It's hard not to think about how good being with Finn (and even with Jesse and Puck) felt when you're talking about heartache with your best friend. Eventually, she nicks a bottle from her dads' liquor cabinet and they drink.
When he talks about his lack of sex appeal, she nearly kisses him. But she stops herself in time, and ignores him when he repeatedly asks about her flushed face. That is one thing she's afraid even their friendship can't withstand.
She kissed Blaine once, and she almost lost Kurt because of it.
By the time it hits five in the morning, they've begun to tell secrets that no one else knows.
Like a shared fantasy of Mr. Schuester and the piano, and about how they were afraid of New York and thrilled at the same time.
They make plans to share an apartment, and Rachel knows that for once, she has a real chance at her dream.
She misses Finn. She's not afraid to admit it to herself. But she was finally starting to get over the heartbreak when he kissed her [at Nationals, the reason they lost].
Like many things, it had to come to an end.
She wanted to give up everything for Finn, in that moment, when his lips were on hers.
But that's no way to start a relationship, and it was no way to prepare herself for New York.
Kurt is her best friend, and she is glad for it.
Of course, she doesn't think her dads could be more confused when they come to wake them only to find both her and Kurt in the bathtub.
They weren't naked of course. They'd just fallen asleep there somewhere around seven in the morning.
And so what if she doesn't remember why they'd decided to lay down there?
They'd made plans to go chasing their dreams together.
Rachel sees Mr. Schuester again two days later. He's brought his car in for an oil change at the same time that Rachel has come to talk to Finn.
Kurt had called her to tell her that Finn wasn't going to be in Glee Club anymore.
She came to change his mind.
She hides just outside the garage when Mr. Schue starts to talk to Finn.
"I know you're hurting over Rachel, Finn. But we really need you in Glee Club. This is our year for it, I know it."
She leaves while he talks to Finn.
She knows she'll see Finn in Glee Club. Mr. Schuester was always the best at convincing others that his way was best. Sometimes it took awhile, but they'd all followed him in the end, hadn't they?
Sometimes, late at night, Rachel sneaks out. She never does anything illegal or overly dangerous.
She just likes to walk when her mind is full and she's too awake to sleep. It's her secret of all secrets.
Walking to clear her mind.
And it's best at night when no one can see her, and no one knows she's gone.
She stops cold when she sees him. He's holding Miss Pillsbury's face between his hands and slowly moving to kiss her. [Why can't she be the one in his hands?]
She can't help the strangled yelp that escapes her throat.
But she stop them from seeing her, so she turns and runs.
The first day of school has her on edge. She hasn't seen Mr. Schuester since [that night]. She never told Kurt about either time she'd seen him either. He knew about the car wash, and she's too afraid to tell him about the rest.
She knows what he would say and she doesn't want to hear it.
She can drown out her own voice that says New York, New York! Nothing comes before New York!
But she can't drown out Kurt's.
Besides, he'd comment on Mr. Schuester being their teacher as well. When he's not drunk, he's much too smart.
It feels stiff during Glee. Everyone talks about how amazing the summer was, until it gets to Finn. Finn says he broke up with Rachel. She lets him say it without a word. He deserves that much.
Then it's Kurt's turn, and he has that sad look in his eyes as he tells everyone that Blaine decided they were better off as friends.
She feels guilty for letting thoughts of Mr. Schuester dominate the air since her and Kurt and made plans for New York.
Neither she or Kurt can help the shared look after everyone starts packing up their things once it's over.
After all, Mr. Schuester is sitting on the piano bench.
"Rachel, can you stay behind for a moment?" Mr. Schue asks her. She waves Kurt off, pretending not to see the worry and hurt in Kurt's eyes.
Once the room clears, he speaks to her again.
"I saw you out near South Lima the other night. Is something going on you need to talk about?"
Yes, her body screams.
"No, Mr. Schuester. I don't go out to South Lima."
Lying is easy, but this one feelswrong.
Mr. Schuester talked to her dads about it, she finds out. They've known since it happened that she snuck out.
They were going to let him figure it out, hoping she'd trust someone.
But no one knows why Rachel does it.
Perhaps even she doesn't.
It is nearly a month later, after a terrible day in her morning classes, and a terrible afternoon learning that Juilliard wasn't a possibility, that she cracks.
She kisses him in the middle of the choir room. A full five seconds.
And she leaves before he can say a word, before she has a chance to regret it.
His lips taste like mint and coffee, and feel softer than her own.
This is the fall, she knows. Every star has one. Maybe it's good to get it out of the way.
End of Chapter One