A/N: I know everyone's moved past this point in their post-Always haze of happiness, but this was written some time between Limey and Headhunters- yes, it's yet another "fix it" fic- and I thought I'd risk ridicule and post it anyway. Be gentle?
Disclaimer: Not mine, don't sue.
Her hand shook as she knocked on his door, trying to make it sound as decisive as she could. It wasn't as successful as she would have liked, and she quickly stuffed the betraying hand back in her coat pocket as she waited for a response. A moment later, the door swung open. He looked genuinely surprised to see her, a spark of something so very hopeful flashing briefly in his eyes before his indifferent mask slid on again.
"Detective Beckett! To what do I owe the honour?" he asked in his affable but not personal tone, as if she had been someone he knew distantly rather than his partner.
She took a deep breath. If she was going to do this, she needed to do it now, and she needed to do it fast, or she would have no courage to do it at all.
"I need to talk to you. Just a minute. You don't even need to say anything, just hear me out for a moment," she added that last part hurriedly. He paused for a moment, considering her request, and then shrugged and let her in. Since when had he needed a moment to stop and think about whether they could talk? A month ago, he had eagerly hung upon her every word. Okay, maybe that was pushing it, but he had certainly made her a priority.
She walked past him, pausing a few steps into the room, and turned to face him as he shut the door. She took a deep breath, and, fingering the piece of paper with her words on it- yes, she had written herself a script and memorised it until she could say it practically in her sleep- she looked him in the eye and began.
"I know that I've done something to hurt you, and I don't know what- and I'm sorry for whatever it is, truly, I am. I get that you don't want to talk about what's bothering you. I know you've been pulling away these past few weeks, that you're done waiting and I'm too late and you don't care any more. And that's ok, I made my bed and I have to lie in it. Just... before you find another more permanent partner, one that's more fun and less complicated, I just needed to tell you something. And it's ok that you don't feel the same any more..." she took a last deep, steadying breath, squeezing her eyes shut for just a moment before opening them again, "But for what it's worth, I love you. I just... I thought you should know before you stop coming to the precinct altogether."
He stood there, silent, not looking at her, a slight frown marring his forehead. She watched him for a long moment, waiting for any reaction, then nodded as if confirming something to herself, before moving past him to the door. Just as she touched the door handle, she heard his strangled whisper.
"Kate, wait."
She turned back to find him looking at her, a thousand emotions battling between his eyes, the unfamiliar darkness that had been lurking there for weeks finally being chased away by the light that she had missed so, so much.
He smiled. He truly smiled, a genuine smile that lit him up from the insides out, the weight of the past weeks rolling off him, and she couldn't help but lift the corners of her own mouth in response.
"It's worth everything."