Logically, it shouldn't have been hard to press play on the video that Mary had left him, but at that moment it could have easily made his top 5 list of most difficult things list (most of which included having to deal socially with people or having to face the thought of John being in danger).
He did press play, with minimal hesitancy, but that didn't stop the difficulty it was causing him mentally...emotionally. Then her face appeared on the screen. Mary Watson, in all her amazing, beautiful grandeur. Masks were gone, secrets were revealed, and what was left behind was a powerful woman with a darkened past who had learned to see the light of the world because of a man she loved more than anything else. This woman on the screen, staring at him as if she knew all of his secrets, understood what it meant to love John Watson and to be changed by him. Something Sherlock himself understood all too well.
Her voice began to filter through, and his chest began to tighten. To know that this was a sound that would never again be real. Never be genuine. It would only ever exist in things like this...a video, a memory. Not the real thing. Not even close to the real thing.
And why? Because of his mistake. Because Sherlock himself had killed her.
"I'm giving you a case Sherlock." She was so intelligent, so calm, so willing to participate in the cases that he and John had revolved their lives around. "Might be the hardest case of your whole career. When I'm gone...if I'm gone...I need you to do something for me."
Anything Mary. He owed her that after everything he had done to her, despite everything she had done for him.
"Save John Watson."
What? How? Sherlock didn't deserve to be anywhere near John anymore. Not after taking everything he adored away from him. John, he was sure, wanted nothing to do with him. There was no way he, Sherlock Holmes, could be the savior of John Watson.
No, he thought bitterly. Someone else would save John. Save him and then keep him safe then after.
As if reading his mind, Mary scolded, "Don't think anyone else will save him, because there's no one. Save him. But I think you're going to need help help because you're not exactly good with people."
Hmph. That was an understatement. John was the person who was good with people, not him.
"So here's what you need to know about the man we both love…"
She knew. Of course she knew. And still she had accepted him. Her grandeur was positively amazing.
"And more importantly, what you're going to have to save him."
It was harder to concentrate now than it had been even before. Everything surrounding him seemed muted, with only Mary's voice loud and clear. The only thing in the room that he could focus on.
"You can't save John."
He knew that. The horrible truth of the matter that was all that much harder to accept as she stated it in her no-nonsense way.
"He won't allow you to save him."
No, of course not. Why would he? Sherlock was obviously not the type of person that could actually save people, especially people as good as John. All he would ever be good at would be bringing John down, down to his level.
"The only way to save him is for him to save you."
The world froze. Not in the chill, icy type of way, but the simple fact of not being able to move, or anything else in the room being able to do so either.
"Go right into Hell and make it look like you mean it."
Of course. And that's exactly what he would do.
Anything for John Watson.