Distance, a house, m.d. fanfic

Title: Distance

Author: pgrabia

Characters/Pairings: House, Wilson; Refers to H/Cu est. relationship, W/S est. relationship, H/W friendship-UST.

Warnings/Spoilers: Adult concepts, coarse language; General spoilers for all seasons up to and including episode 7x7: "A Pox on Our House".

Word Count: 2074

Rating: T/PG-13

Author's Notes: Dialogue only. "…" means that that person doesn't say anything and the reader can decide for themselves what body language, action or unspoken message was intended. This is actually like a missing scene fic than a reaction to Episode 7x7: "A Pox on Your House". I actually found that last night's episode wasn't all that bad, especially compared to the rest of season 7. The Huddy relationship is wooden, boring and illogical. House is unrecognizable from the man we met in the early seasons, but the medical story was interesting to me and it dominated the show just as the medical story should. Drama/friendship-UST.

-0-

"House!"

"That's what it says on the door."

"…"

"Oh please, do make yourself at home."

"Why wasn't I told?"

"Told what?"

"No, you are not going to do this. You're not going to pretend like nothing happened."

"Don't get your panties in a knot. I'm fine. The girl is fine. The father's not so fine; actually he's dead—what were we talking about?"

"We were talking about how nobody notified me that my selfish jackass of a best friend barged into an isolation chamber unprotected with a man who was suspected of being infected with small pox!"

"It wasn't small pox."

"No, but you didn't know that at the time! You could have died and you didn't think it was worth while calling to tell me."

'What would you have done if someone had?"

"I would have come to the isolation unit!"

"And done what, exactly? The CDC wasn't allowing anyone from the hospital to get near the patients. I ran in there when I caught them off-guard. I had to examine the father and that was the only way. They wouldn't have allowed you to come in to help me. So what would you have done?"

"I don't know…I may have been able to help your team or I could have offered you emotional support."

"Yeah, 'cause that's what you and I do. We hold hands and comfort each other and sometimes we even sing Kumbaya. "

"That's not funny!"

"You're right. And having you there unable to do anything other than worry about me and remind me repeatedly what a stupid thing I'd done wouldn't have been either. This way you didn't worry and I didn't get lectured. It was win-win. Besides, Lisa was there worrying enough for the both of you."

"…"

"What?"

"That's the real reason, isn't it?"

"What are you talking about?"

"…"

Wilson, quit looking at me like I kicked your dog and tell what the hell you meant by that?

"…"

"You didn't need me there because of her."

"Who? You mean Lisa?"

"Yes."

"Lisa had nothing to do with it."

"Sure."

"I didn't want her there either but she knew about the CDC and was just…there."

"Was she there when you ran into the isolation chamber?"

"No. She came later."

"When she found out."

"Yeah…?"

"Somebody would have had to have notified her."

"I guess."

"Why didn't you tell the people present not to tell her? You didn't care if she worried? You were certain she wouldn't tell you that you'd done a stupid thing? Or did she become an infectious diseases expert overnight-?"

"Wilson."

"…"

"What do you want me to say? She's my girlfriend. She cares about me."

"And I don't?"

"…"

"I'm not sleeping with you so I don't give a damn? You could have contracted small pox and died and I wouldn't have cared one little bit?"

"…"

"Thanks."

"Come on, don't leave like this…"

"What if I had been the one to run into an isolation chamber with a man who most likely had a highly contagious, potentially lethal disease?"

"You wouldn't."

"You don't know that. You say that I'm not boring. It would be pretty un-boring of me to run into that chamber, don't you think?"

"…"

"And I let Sam be there but I told everyone not to tell you. How would you react?"

"…"

"It's not the same."

"Like hell it isn't!"

"It's not. You don't need me as much as I…need you."

"Where the hell did you get that idea?"

"You left."

"For Christ's sake—we've been through this a hundred times already why I did that. And I came back."

"You kicked me out of the loft."

"House—"

"You were told by Foreman that I…I wasn't doing well, that I'd lost Hannah. You didn't come that night to check on me. You went home instead."

"…"

"Lisa showed up. I wanted it to be you."

"So not telling me today was your way of what?—evening out the score?"

"If I had died in that chamber you still would have Sam. If you had run in there and died I'd have…no one."

"You'd have Cuddy!"

"I don't have Cuddy now. Not really."

"Look, she's hurt because of your lie, but give her time and she'll come around."

"That's not it. She's not in love with me. She's in love with that idealized man she saw in the parking garage buried with rubble trying to convince a woman that she had to let him cut off her leg. Well, he doesn't exist—or at least, not like that. He comes with baggage: the man she had said over and over again was not responsible or reliable enough for a real relationship with a woman with a child. When that fact finally hits her, Lisa and I will be over. Until then I'm trying to enjoy not being alone while it lasts."

"You don't know that for certain."

"You and I both do."

"…"

"So it's not the same thing at all."

"That still doesn't explain shutting me out."

"I think it does."

"No, because I need you too."

"…"

"You don't believe me? You don't think I care?"

"You care, just not as much. Not when it's inconvenient."

"You're wrong."

"Am I?"

"Yes."

"Without you I have nothing, no one. Without me you have Sam, your parents, your brothers, Lisa…I think I've made my point. If you die, then there's no point to my li-."

"Don't say that!"

"It's the truth."

"No it's not! I don't want to hear you talk like that."

"Why not? I thought you wanted to know when my life is in peril."

"House…that's…that's…"

"That's what?"

"Unfair. You have no idea what my life would be like without you in it. You're my best friend. You mean more to me than my own family does."

"So? What does that prove? There isn't a single person alive who means more to me than you do. But you have Sam. She means more to you than I. So that's why it would be different if you were dying and I wasn't notified than the other way around. I'd need to be there…to say good-bye before the most important person in the world to me ceased to exist. You would have Sam to console you and to carry on with."

"You think you have me all figured out, don't you?"

"Well enough."

"You don't know jack squat. You've known me for almost twenty years and you still don't understand me at all."

"…"

"You don't know that I rue the day I asked you to leave the loft and that I have nightmares about it at least twice a week. I felt so guilty about giving in to Sam's demands to come home instead of stopping by your apartment to make sure you were okay; I couldn't sleep that night and I was a nervous wreck until I climbed in your kitchen window the next day and saw for myself that you were okay. You have no idea how much I've…I've missed you since then. All I can think about is how distant we've become since you and Cuddy began dating.

"We're not distant. We see each other every day!"

"We see each other, sure. But aside from that disaster of a double date, when was the last time we actually sat down just the two of us and talked about anything other than your relationship with Cuddy or about her child? Hmm?"

"We've been busy—"

"We're no busier at work than we've ever been. We always managed to find time to talk or have lunch or something. Suddenly, we can't find any? This is the first real conversation we've had in months. You have no idea how upset I was when I found out what had happened with you today and wasn't told sooner because you didn't want me to know. It felt like you were cutting me out of your life. I couldn't help but think that you don't need me anymore because you have Lisa."

"Well, well, well."

"What?"

"It's not so much fun when roles are reversed and you're the one on the outside looking in, being pushed aside because of my girlfriend, is it?"

"…"

"Is it? How many times have you done that to me? Three times? Four?"

"House, I—"

"Answer the question."

"No, look just let me—"

"Answer the goddamned question!"

"No."

"What was that? I don't think I heard you."

"No. It's not."

"No. It's not.

"…"

"I didn't want you notified because I didn't want you to run down to the Isolation unit and act like you cared."

"Act like I cared? I do care, House. Maybe…maybe I've done what I've done with Sam…and the others…because I care too much."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"After Amber died, I ran away from you because I couldn't bear the thought of how much it would hurt if you died. I had decided I would rather have nothing to do with you than face that kind of pain again. Have you ever stopped to think that possibly that's not the only thing I've been running away from since I met you?

"…"

"What are you trying to say?"

"(sigh) Never mind. Forget it."

"…"

"And just for the record, no one has meant more to me than you do. No one. If I thought anything would cause me to lose you, I'd run away from that, too."

"…"

"When are you going to stop running?"

"I guess…when I'm not afraid anymore."

"And how long will that be?"

"I…just don't know. It's not easy caring about you. I never know when I'm going to get a phone call telling me that…(sigh). But if it happens, and I have a chance to…tell you you're an idiot and say good-bye I want to be told."

"…"

"You up for pizza and porn?"

"That's all? Discussion over? Everything resets to normal again?"

"I may have made…a mistake."

"…"

"It does happen…once in a blue moon when it falls on a Tuesday…"

"…in a year that ends in a zero."

"Exactly."

"…"

"So?"

"Make it Thai and an action flick and I'm in."

"Wait…what about Sam?"

"What about her? I'm not whipped like some people I know."

"Right…I'm not whipped."

"…"

"Make it Chinese and an unrated college co-ed movie and I'll buy the beer. To make amends."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"…"

"What are you doing? Quit pawing me!"

"I'm checking for a fever. I think you may have contracted something after all."

~fin~