The Sanzo Incident
By NellySama(IYPRT2)
-Saiyuki: I don't own it. Saiyuki belongs to Kazuya-Sama.
I don't own any of the songs used in this fic. Seriously.
-Summary! The Sanzo ikkou are stranded on a island. Things Happen.
Author's Notes: To understand what Gojyo says, read each word backwards. Since its my fic, and I'm aiming for slightly funny, people are very much OOC. Mkk? I wrote this while watching, Guess Who. I can find inspiration in weird places. Oh yeah, my writing style sucks, but that's okay right? .;
One more thing. There is not plot. Its just fun to read.
-Begin: Chapter 1: Cure for Backwardia.
italic actions
Now we zoom in on Goku, Gojyo, and Hakkai sitting on a log on the sandy beach. Sanzo had walked into the jungle to find something top eat and to get away from the "idiots". The priest had been gone for more than three hours, and he should've "definitely been back by now with food." As stated by Goku.
Goku:singing to the tune of La Cucaracha Hareheta, Hareheta, hare, hare heta! Hareheta, Hareheta, hare, hare heta! continues to sing over and over
Hakkai: to Gojyo Goku's starting to sound like a broken record, eh, Gojyo?
Gojyo: fuming and holding his hands over his ears I wish he'd fricken stop already!
Hakkai: Why? At least its entertaining Goku. Besides, its kind of catchy. smile
Gojyo: It's a little too catchy! I swear if he keeps going on, the stupid tune is going to be stuck in my head!
Goku: continues singing while swaying side to side
Suddenly Gojyo stands up and starts doing the Macarena.
Gojyo: ARGH! Hakkai help!
Hakkai is laughing quietly. Then Gojyo gets to the part where his hands are on his hips. He then begins to shake his butt in Hakkai's face.
Hakkai: pushes Gojyo's butt out of his face I didn't know you knew the Macarena! begins clapping to a beat
Gojyo: continues dancing the Macarena Hakkai help me, dammit! I can't stop dancing!
Hakkai: ignores
Goku suddenly stops singing, making Hakkai and Gojyo stare. Goku then inhales very deeply. The two stare intently, Gojyo still dancing and Hakkai clapping. Then Goku stands up, opens his mouth and at the top of his lungs….
Goku: BORN TO BE WIIILLD!
Gojyo: What the! Where'd that come from! stops dancing, and is out of breath AIR I NEED AIR! falls over
Hakkai: Well, I'm glad you need air. smile
Goku: breaks into song again You're giving me to many things, lately. You're all I need. Oh No…
Hakkai stand up and Gojyo gets up off the ground.
Hakkai: slight bow May I have this dance?
Gojyo: curtsies I'd be honored!
Gojyo and Hakkai begin slow dancing around the beach, while Goku sings 'Simple and Clean'.
Goku: You smiled at me and said. 'Don't get me wrong I love you. But does that mean I have to meet your father?' When we are older you'll understand what I meant when I said 'no, I don't think life is quite that simple.'
The dancing pair broke into the Hustle.
Goku: When you walk away you don't hear me say, 'Please oh Baby, don't go!' Simple and Clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight. It's hard to let it go.
Then they started doing the tango.
Goku: deep breath Hold me, whatever happens beyond this morning is a little later on…
The sea critters are now leaping out of the water, making big splashes for dramatic effect. Hakkai and Gojyo return to the slow dance.
Goku: Regardless of warnings, the future doesn't scare me at all! Nothings like before!
The dancers stop and begin applauding loudly.
Hakkai: weird accent Brava! Brava!
Gojyo: French accent Eet was so bootiful!
Goku: big cheesy smile Thank you, thank you very much! falls over on his back
As soon as Goku hit the sand, Gojyo started a one-man Bunny Hop dance along the beach. Hakkai began stalking a crab.
Hakkai: Here crabby, crabby, crabby! Don't worry! I wont hurt you! reaches for crab
Crabby: O.O! backs away
Hakkai: Oi! Gojyo! Help me capture this crab!
Gojyo dances his way over to Hakkai.
Gojyo: humming/singing Dun na na na, dun na na na, HOP HOP HOP! pokes Hakkai Oui?
THUNK! Gojyo falls to the ground, unconscious. A coconut rolls by. Hakkai looks towards the jungle, ( Yes! There's a jungle!), Crabby in his hands. A voice rang out.
Voice: RETURN THE COCONUT!
Hakkai: Did you throw it?
Voice: Yes, and I want it back!
Hakkai: OK. throws the coconut back into the jungle
Voice: YES! I have the coconut! Now my mission is complete! GOODBYE!
Hakkai: Goodbye! waves
Hakkai sat down on a log, petting the crab. Goku sat up and began singing the 'hareheta' song, while poking Gojyo with a stick.
Goku: Hareheta! Hareheta! Hare, Hare, Heta! Hareheta! Hareheta! Hare, Hare, Heta!
Gojyo: awakens Tahw Dneppah?
Hakkai and Goku stare.
Hakkai: Pardon?
Goku: Ummm?
Gojyo: Tahw…ho ym… ym eciov! Tahw dneppah ot ym eciov! Iakkah! Pleh! goes into a massive break down, bawling and muttering gibberish
The other two decided, after many minutes, that Gojyo was beyond help. So all they did was stare or pat his back.
WHOOSH! Another coconut came flying out of the jungle, and Gojyo caught it. The voice from earlier boomed.
Voice: Bring the speech impediment one to me! I can fix it!
They obediently obeyed and all three skipped merrily into the jungle.
The jungle was deep and green. The trio walked deeper and deeper into the jungle until they found a small clearing.
Goku: OOOH! LOOK! BANANAS! points to a bundle of banana's on a flat rock
Hakkai: Don't take them Goku! warning look
Goku: inching towards them Why?
Gojyo: Esuaceb rieht ton sruoy!
Both: What?
Before Gojyo could repeat himself, a horde of coconuts fell from the sky. Their eyes traveled upward on the pile of coconuts. Eyes widened with shock, awe, and terror. There stood shirtless, and jeanless, decked in tropical flowers around the neck, topped off with a long grass skirt, to their utter horror was… Sanzo.
Goku & Hakkai: OH MY…. speechless
Gojyo: HO YM….
Sanzo: looking down at the others …
Sanzo hopped off the coconut, and walked towards the others.
Sanzo: Where is the troubled one?
The others were to much in shock to answer. Sanzo glared impatiently.
Sanzo: Well?
Hakkai: points to Gojyo Him.
Sanzo looks over at Gojyo and steps up to him.
Sanzo: What is the inflection?
Gojyo: I tnac klat thgir! Dna stahw thiw eht triks!
Sanzo: fist into palm I can't fix this, but I need a monkey.
Hakkai and Gojyo both look at Goku, who raised his hand, grudgingly.
Goku: Here Sanzo. I'm a…
Sanzo looks over at Goku and walks over to him. Leaning down, nose to nose.
Sanzo: Goku…?
Goku: backing away Yes, Sanzo?
Hakkai and Gojyo watched as bystanders, Sanzo was uncomfortably close to Goku's face.
Sanzo: Monkey? stare
Goku: Ye--MHPHFFF!
Hakkai & Gojyo: … O.O;;;;
They stared in shock and awe as Sanzo kissed an extremely shocked Goku.
Hakkai: Umm, Gojyo? How do you think that will help you with your problem?
Gojyo: Umm.. not paying attention
Goku and Sanzo separated. The little monkey fainted and Sanzo faced Hakkai and Gojyo.
Sanzo: Did that help?
Gojyo: Did what help? Oh! What in the hell!
Sanzo: Uh Huh. begins to bury Goku in flowers and coconuts
Hakkai: Umm, Sanzo? What are you doing?
Sanzo: Burying the dead. I am a grave digger! turns and runs off into the jungle
The other two just stood there until Hakkai freaked out and ran towards the beach.
Gojyo: What! What is it!
Hakkai: I left Crabby all alone back at the beach!
End Chapter 1.
A/N: Wow, that was…weird. It looks much better on a computer than on paper. Yes. This was written previously on grid paper! I wants 2 or 3 reviews before I write the next chapter. Maybe some suggestions as to what will happen? Eh?
Hareheta I believe means I'm Hungry in Japanese. Please let me know of any spelling issues. Kk?