Raven wasn't sure why this conversation had taken such a turn. One minute, she had casually been discussing baby names with her husband, and the next, she found herself growing closer and closer to breaking every bone in his face.

"We are NOT naming our son after my father," she growled, scowl searing his roguish face.

A look of exaggerated disappointment crossed over her spouse's green complexion. "Aw, why not?" he whined. "'Baby Trigon Mark Logan-Roth' has a nice ring to it!"

Raven stared at him for a moment, dark brows drawn into a look of deadpan disbelief. Doing her best to conceal a snort, she responded. "No, it doesn't."

She watched in faint amusement as her husband's face contorted awkwardly in an effort to cram as much imploration in as possible. "But Ra-ae, think of the possibilities! Nobody would dare mess with a guy named after Trigon!"

Raven let out a sigh. Though she would never admit it, it was a fond one. "Garfield..."

Her partner continued his rant, undeterred by his wife's quiet warning. "Even if they don't know who Trigon is, they'll probably think of trigonometry, and be all like 'Ew, no, math" and—"

"GARFIELD!"

The man in question froze in his wild gesticulations, turning his head slowly to face her. A guilty smile crossed over his face, though this did little to dampen the twinkling mischief in his emerald eyes. "Yes, dear?"

Raven pinched the bridge of her nose and shook her head, sending her short violet locks flying. "Ugh; I swear, I sound more and more like Jon Arbuckle with each day I have to put up with your nonsense."

Garfield snorted. "Yeah, well, I wish you could cook like him." A wistful look melted across his features, and a dopey smile spread across his lips. "Then, I'd be eating a heavenly vegetarian lasagna right now,"—every inch of his lean body drooped dismally—"instead of burnt tofu."

Raven glared at him. "If you hate my cooking so much, you can feed it to that dog you brought home today."

His posture immediately straightened, and his pointed ears perked up. "Odie?"

Her glare intensified tenfold. "We are not naming the dog Odie."

Garfield wilted for a moment, then quickly sprung up once more, index finger aimed skyward and a broad smile upon his face. "Then how about—"

Raven groaned. "We are not naming our son Odie, either."

"Aw, man! Why are you such a buzzkill?" he groused, pushing his lower lip into a plump pout.

"And why are you such a moron?" she countered, albeit softly.

Garfield grinned. "Because you love it!"

Her violet eyes narrowed. "Do I?"

He smirked in what she assumed was intended to be a suave manner. "Yes, you know you do."

She glowered at him, clenching and unclenching her teeth repeatedly as she struggled to get a grip. She was sure the vein in her forehead would burst at any second. "If you waggle your eyebrows at me like that again, I will burn them off while you're sleeping."

His smirk just widened at the threat, eyes bursting with impishness. "That's Ravenish for,"—he cleared his throat—"'Oh, Garfield! How I love thine majestic wriggling eyebrows! Kiss me now!'"

Raven rolled her eyes at her husband's unflattering falsetto impression of her, sighing heavily. "More like 'kill me now'."

"No!" he cried, throwing himself at her feet, emerald eyes wide and shimmery with unshed tears. "Who will be there to stroke my luxurious eyebrows if you're gone?!" He buried his nose in her pant leg, the sound of a loud, wheezing, pathetic honk filling the room as he pretended to blow his nose.

She winced in disgust. It took all of her willpower not to face palm. "Garfield, no."

The man leapt back from her feet, crocodile tears long since evanesced. A lopsided simper tugged at the corner of his fanged mouth. "Garfield, yes!"

Raven groaned, leaning back against the kitchen counter. She peered down at her partner, scrutinizing him with an unreadable expression. A faint puff of air, one that very well could have been a laugh, slipped past her thin grey lips. "Azar, you're a dork." She leaned her head back, allowing it to loll behind her. "What did I do to deserve this?"

She felt a faint pressure on her face as he pushed her wayward strands of hair back into place. "Throw a handsome guy out the window one too many times?" He offered cheekily.

Raven tilted her head forward, peering at her husband through squinted eyes. "What handsome guy?" she replied in kind, a ghost of a smile quirking her mouth.

Garfield brought a hand to his heart, stumbling back in mock agony. "Oh, how you wound me! Were the bruises and cuts not enough to satiate your cruel heart? Must you shatter mine also?"

With a roll of her eyes, Raven pressed her lips to his, pulling away just as soon as they had touched. "Would one so cruel as you doth purport me to be do that?"

Garfield brought a finger to his mouth, eyes straitening in thought. "Yes," he announced at last, leaning his head ever so slightly backwards to meet her gaze.

A faint smile stretched across her face. "How so?"

"Because such brief kisses are reserved only for those deemed unworthy of more," he replied, grin threatening to rip his face in two.

"Well, I guess we'll have to fix that, then," Raven responded with a smirk.

"I guess so," Gar replied, smirking against her mouth.