The only thing Quinn Fabray had ever wanted in her life was acceptance.
When she was little, she craved it from her parents. They were horrible parents, not giving her and her sister the time of day. Her mother was too busy hanging out with her friends, wasting her money on a whole shitload of expensive designer clothes and jewelry she didn't need, and getting drunk to pay attention to her daughters. So Quinn and her sister, Kristen, latched onto the one thing that her parents loved more than themselves: God. Quinn and Kristen asked to get Bibles for Christmas, and Russell and Judy, who were pleasantly surprised, considering Quinn and Kristen, locked themselves in their rooms two months ago so they didn't have to go, bought them the Bibles, as well as cross necklaces. Quinn was happy when she saw her father beaming at his two little daughters, sitting on the couch together wearing their cross necklaces and trying to decipher their new Bibles. Quinn loved the newfound attention she was getting from her parents, so she kept up the good girl Christian act, although secretly, she despised it. When she was 10, she acted thrilled by the purity ring her father gave her, even though secretly she hated it. While her father explained to her that the ring was a symbol of her promise to God to keep her virginity until marriage, she didn't think that losing your virginity before marriage was bad, if you gave it to the right person. However, when she got to high school she would learn to love the Christian act, since it made boys desire her even more, and being desired felt like she was being accepted.
Quinn had striking blond hair and beautiful green eyes, just like her sister, but unlike her sister, she wasn't popular. In fact, she was overweight and called a mean name by the other girls, Lucy Caboosey. See, her real name was Lucy, but she went by Quinn at home and in high school, because she liked it better. She also had rather unattractive facial features, which were all rather large, except her nose. Her nose was perfect.
Finally, middle school was over and her family moved from their pretty large city in one part of Ohio, to this small cow town called Lima in a totally different part of Ohio, and Quinn found this as her chance to change everything. She begged her parents to get her plastic surgery, and they finally allowed her to. She got plastic surgery and became the most beautiful girl in the world. She worked out all summer, and finally was a size 0. She had small breasts, small legs, and even smaller hips.
She finally felt like she fit in. Of course, she knew that the only way to truly fit in anywhere was to be popular. And she had been in this place long enough to know that the only way to be popular was to be a football player or a Cheerio (the name of the cheerleading squad.) So she tried out and was great at everything: toe touches, splits, and tumbling. She was ecstatic to find out that she had made the Cheerios, and Coach Sylvester told her that if she continued to work hard this year she would make captain next year. Quinn began to date Finn Hudson, quarterback on the football team, but she stuck by her celibacy vow.
That day, Quinn slept with Puck because she wanted to fit in, and drown her sorrows away in the guilty pleasure she felt from his lips touching hers, his lips sucking on her neck, knowing those lips didn't belong to her boyfriend.
It was a random day in her sophomore year, and just like Coach Sylvester had promised, she was captain. However, she was feeling put down. Coach Sylvester yelled at her in front of the rest of the squad, calling her an ugly fat elephant because she had gained two pounds, she was feeling confused because she had walked into the locker room that afternoon and found her two best friends, Santana and Brittany, making out, and was angry because Finn had canceled a date with her, the hottest girl in the whole universe, to do something with Rachel Freaking' Berry.
She ran away from that school, wishing she could just disappear off the face of the Earth and never have to go back again. Because today, she felt like the overweight Lucy Caboosey instead of the beautiful cheer captain Quinn Fabray. And just as tears began to fall down her face, she came to her car and found none other than Noah Puckerman leaning against it.
Quinn was sure that she would have still done what she did regardless of who was in Puck's place. Santana, Brittany, Finn, Mike, Matt, Karaofsky, some random football player or cheerleader, Rachel Berry (all right, maybe not that last one.) Puck was just there.
"Hey, MILF," Puck said, smirking at her.
"What do you want, Puck?" Quinn asked, and her nose scrunched up when she saw what he was carrying. "And why do you have those… wine coolers?"
"I thought I'd give you your birthday present early," Puck said, shrugging.
"Puck, you're such an idiot!" Quinn hissed as she unlocked her door and slid in. The passenger side door was already unlocked, and she was too busy fiddling with car radio to notice or care that Puck had opened the door and slid in until her spoke to her.
"What do you mean I'm an idiot?"
"Anyone who would bring alcohol on school property is an idiot! Seriously, if you and I got caught in my car with a pack of wine coolers, we'd both be brought in to the police station. And I swear I'll kill you if I get my license revoked because of you!"
"Will you kiss me instead?" he asked, and before Quinn had time to process what he said, he was leaning towards her and kissing her. Puck liked her kissing, and Quinn had to admit, he was way better at this than Finn was. When you kissed Finn, it felt like you were making out with a dog. With Puck, however, it was perfect. It wasn't too wet, or too dry.
Even though liked it, she knew what they were doing was wrong, because first of all, she had a boyfriend who was Puck's best friend, and Puck had a sorta girlfriend (more like sex partner) who was Quinn's best friend, and second of all, they were making out in a school parking lot where anyone can see them.
"Stop!" Quinn said sort of breathlessly, pushing him away. "We can't do this here."
"Then where can we do it?" Puck asked.
"We're not doing anything!" Quinn snapped. "If you think I'm gonna have sex with you, you're wrong and can get out of my car.
"No, no, it's alright!" Puck said. "Anyways, want to go somewhere and we can talk and figure out a way to get Finn out of that Glee Club so you can stop being a part of that homoexplosion too?"
Quinn liked that idea, and she nodded. "Let's go to my house," she said. "I have the house to myself for the weekend."
Quinn started the car, and drove to her house (more like mansion.) Quinn didn't turn around to watch Puck as she strolled up to the keypad and punched in the digits to unlock the side door, so she didn't notice the wine coolers he was bringing in with him.
Quinn and Puck walked in and settled themselves on the stools at the kitchen counter.
"I don't get it!" Quinn said. "Why would Finn choose Man Hands over me?"
"I know," Puck said, nodding in agreement. "You're pretty, popular, and smart, and Berry's ugly, unpopular, and dumb." Puck sat there, talking to Quinn and telling her how better she was than Rachel, and Puck knew it was true. And besides, he had been sorta in love with Quinn since the first time he saw her walking down the hallway, Cheerios uniform swishing, her blond ponytail bouncing happily behind her.
Finally, Puck offered her a wine cooler, and she was so distraught, she took it. She popped it open and took a little sip, savoring the yummy taste of strawberry and kiwi. She and Puck sat there, working their way through the pack of wine coolers and bashing everyone in their lives, except each other, of course. A smile lit up on Puck's face when he saw Quinn do her imitation of Rachel Berry, with her obnoxious little voice, and Puck smiled and laughed even harder when he saw Quinn smile at him, and then laugh as well. He had never seen her smile before. Well, not a genuine smile. He saw her little smiles she gave before she destroyed someone and the laugh she gave when he slushied Rachel, but those didn't count. These did.
"Quinn, I've been in love with you for a long time," Puck told Quinn.
"You have?" she asked, genuinely surprised.
"Yes, couldn't you tell?" he asked.
"No," she replied, shaking her head. "I just thought you were some uncaring dude who slept around with random sluts. And besides, if you love me so much, why did you decide to go out with my best friend?"
"I don't know," Puck replied, shrugging. "Because I couldn't get you. You're the best girl in this cow town, Quinn, and don't forget it. Santana's only second best because she's your best friend."
Quinn nodded and then took a quick look at Puck. "You can kiss me now if you want," she told him, and he obliged. He leaned over and kissed her, enjoying the smile that lit her face at his touch. He wanted her, no, he needed her, and he needed to date her. She was so perfect. His hands ran up to her ponytail and he lightly tugged on the elastic that kept her ponytail tucked into place, and put in on the counter.
"Take me upstairs to my bedroom, Puck," Quinn replied, and Puck nodded. He easily picked her up (all that working out paid off) and walked upstairs to her bedroom, lightly setting her down on the ugly pink frilly bed. He got on the bed too, but rested on an elbow so he didn't crush her. He began to kiss her once more.
"I can't do this," she then said, pushing him away.
"Why not?" he asked.
"I'm president of the Celibacy Club," she replied. "I took a vow."
"So did Santana and Brittany, and I do them," Puck replied.
"What about Finn?" Quinn asked. "He's your best friend."
"Please, Quinn, do you think either of us is gonna give a damn about Finn in five years?"
Quinn nodded, and then she said, "What about protection?"
"I got it, trust me. This isn't another random hookup for me." Quinn nodded, and as he continued to kiss her, she whispered, "Tell me it again."
"You're not fat."
When Puck stripped Quinn of her uniform, she felt like the most beautiful girl in the world. However, once the act was finished and Quinn had woken up, confused about why she was naked and Puck was beside her, the memories came back and she remembered what had happened. She was in serious trouble.
She jumped up, shouting at Puck to go home and never mention this night again. Puck obliged, but Quinn knew he was confused why she wasn't dying to break up with and go running into Puck's arms. Puhlease. Like THAT would ever happen.
Quinn washed her sheets and Cheerios uniform, and she took a shower, trying to wash her sin, this night of sin off her body. But no matter how much she scrubbed, it wouldn't come off.
A few weeks later, Quinn found out she was pregnant, in the form of a pregnancy test that she had bought so discreetly that morning at the drugstore and snuck it into the bathroom. After all, if she took it home and by some chance her mom or dad found it, she would be dead.
And that's when the real weight of what she had done, the promises and trust she had broken, came crashing down on her. She knew Puck was a liar, and if she had any sense, she would keep Finn, convince him it was his child. Because she knew Puck lied. He lied about wearing a condom during the act. And that lie was going to cost Quinn everything she had worked so hard for the past 16 years. Quinn knew that, with a little girl, she would never be able to make it out of this town. She would be strapped down, forced to work some crappy two jobs at random motels or restaurants to be able to scrape enough money together to feed and clothe her daughter and keep the heat on so they wouldn't completely freeze to death in the winter. Her life would be in shambles. Athlete of the year and Prom Queen senior year? She thought not. Why in her right mind would Coach Sylvester keep her on the Cheerios when she found out this little tidbit? And besides, who in their right mind would vote for Quinn Fabray, the slut/teen mother as Prom Queen? Nobody, that's who.
So Quinn told Finn some story about hot tub water and he bought it, because he trusted his girlfriend. Of course, why wouldn't he? She had always given him reason to believe she was faithful, and she had been. Up until a few weeks ago, of course.
Yes, Quinn Fabray strived to be accepted. She wanted to be accepted, craved to be accepted. And that's why she lied to Finn about the father, and refused to tell Coach Sylvester about her bun in the oven. However, she was shocked when the truth was revealed that Coach knew about it. She looked down to her abdomen. Was she that big already that you could tell just by looking at her? Or was it that Coach Sylvester could smell the fear on the blond girl when she was around her Coach, terrified at the thought of her secret being released?
However, she figured out it was neither. That creep Jacob told her secret, not even able to be bribed by Rachel's granny panties.
The club performed a song for Quinn, 'Keep Holding on,' to tell her that she didn't need to be a Cheerio to be accepted, and Quinn believed it. So, a week later when Coach Sylvester threw off the Cheerios, she was glad to know that at least she was accepted in Glee Club, where she could be herself, even around the likes of Santana Lopez and Brittany Pearce.
The first time in Quinn's life that she hadn't been accepted by her parents was the night they found out her secret. They decided to invite Finn to Sunday dinner, since they hadn't ever been formally introduced to him. Finn decided to get the secret of being pregnant at 16 and keeping it from her parents off her shoulders, and so he sang 'Having My Baby' to them to inform them about it, and they threw her out of her house. Quinn, in one night, went from living in the grandest home in Lima, being the doted upon daughter and trophy daughter of the two most respected members of the community to living in Finn's guest room, being the pregnant, weak daughter of the two people that she had used to look up to before this.
"I'm sorry," Finn told her as he came into the guest room that was now hers. She had changed into her nightgown, and was sitting on the bed, one hand resting on her baby bump and the other running a brush through her slightly tangled blond hair. He was smiling softly, holding some towels, a book of baby names, and a cup of herbal tea. "Here," he said, handing her the towels and the book. "My mom, um, told me to bring towels up to your room just in case you were gonna go in labor early or something, and, um, she wanted me to give you the book so you could think over some names." He smiled. "She hates the name Drizzle, too, but I was thinking maybe it could be somewhere in her name? Like her middle name or something?"
"I'll think about it, Finn," Quinn responded.
"And here's some tea," Finn replied, handing her the cup. "Mom said it would help you get over the shock of everything and, uh, it won't hurt the baby or anything. She already put in the amount of sugar and cream you like."
Quinn nodded.
"I'm so sorry," Finn suddenly burst out. "Quinn, if I knew they would do that, I wouldn't have sung that song."
"It's alright," Quinn said, nodding. Finn turned to go out the door, and she called out for him.
"Stay with me tonight?" she whispered, her voice cracking, and Finn nodded, walking over and sitting on the bed beside her. "We'll be alright, won't we?" Quinn asked struggling to hold back her tears.
"Yeah, we will," Finn replied, nodding. And he truly believed they would be. Finn helped Quinn feel accepted on that lonely night that she was disowned, and he was truly the best thing in her life.
It was the day before Sectionals that Quinn lost the best thing in her life. Of course, she knew it would happen eventually. Everything she held near and dear to her had been taken from her as well, so why not her boyfriend?
It turned out that Puck had accidentally told Mercedes the truth, and Mercedes had broken and spilled it to Tina, Kurt, Artie, Santana, and Brittany, however, they all felt it wasn't their business, so they didn't say anything to Finn. However, Mercedes didn't tell Rachel, because she knew Rachel would go and tell Finn in a heartbeat.
However, Rachel figured it out herself, and she informed Finn of the fact. So, that practice while we were waiting for Miss Pilsbury to come (Mr. Schue had been taken down from instructor after the Mattress incident), when Finn came barreling in to the choir room, an angry look on his face, and Rachel followed, looking worried. She quickly walked and stood next to Brittany, while Finn went straight over to Puck and punched him.
"Whh…" Puck, who was clearly caught off guard, spun around. "Dude, what are you doing?" he asked. However, Finn didn't reply, just jumped on top of his former best friend and began bashing his head in. Tina ran for help, and Mr. Schue and Miss. Pilsbury came running into the classroom. While Mr. Schue held Puck back, Mike and Matt restrained Finn.
There was lots of Finn shouting, but finally calmed down and the next thing he asked, with that calm voice, scared the crap out of Quinn and Puck more than Finn shouting at them did.
"Is it true?" he asked. "Just tell me… is it true?"
Quinn stepped forward, and everyone backed away. They all knew that it was her job to confirm it to him, not Puck's, but Quinn's.
"Yes…" Quinn said, bouncing up and down as tears began to pour down her face. "Yes, Finn. Puck is the father!"
Finn stood there for a moment, thinking about what her words meant. Finally, he spoke, his words laced with venom. "I'm done with you!" he told. "I'm done with… I'm done with all of you!" he then stormed out of the choir room, but not before kicking over a chair.
Quinn moved in with Puck, and hated living with him. His mother glared at her stomach all the time, while his little sister asked inappropriate questions about the baby and being pregnant, and constantly stole Quinn's makeup. And everyone knew Quinn and Puck were liars, judging by the big-ass bruise on Puck's face and the way Finn and Quinn never spoke to each other, but just avoided eye contact when they walked down the hallway.
It was just like Quinn was Lucy again. She was fat and ugly, a social outcast, and had no friends, except for Puck. It hurt the most, however, when she was dissed by the rest of the Glee Club, knowing that she was being hurt so badly by people she had once considered friends. However, she slowly became friends with Mercedes and Kurt.
Labor hurt like hell. Quinn had been having pains all day, but she just figured her daughter was a little feisty that morning and thought nothing of it. However, she had stepped off the stage and was walking down the hallway when she saw her mother, and her mother began begging her to come home, going on and on about how she had left Russell and how they could turn one of the guest bedrooms into a nursery.
"Quinnie, say something," Judy pleaded.
"My water just broke," Quinn whispered.
Labor hurt like hell. Quinn was yelling, screaming as she squeezed the hell out of her mother's and Mercedes's hands, while Puck stood back uselessly like a douche bag.
But finally, her daughter was born, and she held her for the first and last time. Because Quinn knew she was giving her daughter up. Firstly, because it was the best thing for her daughter, and secondly, because she knew she would never be able to get her popularity back if she kept her daughter. So she gave her daughter up to Shelby Corcoran, Rachel's long lost mother. But her daughter was named Beth, per Puck's choice. And all Quinn had left to remember her by was one picture.
Was wishing to be accepted worth giving up her flesh and blood?
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