It's Artie's Fault

by Loonyloops

Artie is missing and the team has to find him before Mrs. Frederick finds out. - This was a challenge between Sage Defender and myself to write a story based on that summary. This is what I came up with.

A/N So this was a challenge between Sage Defender and myself because our writing styles are so completely different. We had another friend come up with a story summery and we had to write the story for it. She also said something about Prussia (I wasn't paying attention). So this is what I came up with.

Warning: This story has not been edited or betaed because I waited until the last minute, but I did read through it once. :/

It was a lazy day at the B and B after celebrating Steve's birthday in Univille the night before. In preparation for the day after Claudia had rigged her laptop and all their Farnsworths to announce any pings. Myka was sitting on one of the plush couches with her feet propped up and her computer in her lap. Everyone knew she would never finish her novel since she was still on chapter three, but they all needed a hobby. Steve and Pete were involved in a pretty cutthroat game of Monopoly with Abigail at the dining room table. The muted sounds of Claudia's acoustic guitar drifting down the stairs was the soundtrack for the day's activities. It was midafternoon and they were waiting on Artie to arrive before deciding what they would do for supper that evening.

Artie had told the younger agents he would be working on "stuff that is none of your business" during the day, but he had assured them that he would be at Abigail's in time to go eat, much to the amusement of Claudia. As the afternoon progressed the Monopoly game ended in Pete walking away claiming he would not play with cheaters. Steve told him that just because he could tell someone else was lying did not mean he was cheating. Abigail rebutted Pete's accusation with her own, stating that he had been cheating since the beginning. He did not deny it as he made his way to the kitchen. By now Myka had paused in her game of four deck spider solitaire to pay attention to the argument.

"Pete! Artie will be here in a while. Why are you eating?"

Her partner came back through the kitchen door with one cookie in his mouth and another in his hand. "'Cause I'm hungry Mykes. Besides Artie is never on time when we want him to be, and I really want him to be. And, it will take a while after he gets here just to decide what we're going to do about the food situation, then it will take even longer to get food." He plopped down on the couch just as Myka moved her feet. "So, how's the novel coming along?"

Before she could answer Claudia came down the stairs. "Hey guys, I think Artie is missing."

Myka ignored Pete's pointed look while Steve asked, "What do you mean missing?"

"Well, I was doing a quick check on the Farnsworths and they all checked out except Artie's so I hacked into it to check his location and maybe spy a little-"

"I've taught you well."

"Shut up Pete."

She continued, ignoring the interruption. "But his Farnsworth isn't there. It's reading like it's on, but in a GPS blind spot. There are no blind spots from me, or at least from the Warehouse. So I tapped into the Warehouse's system to see if I could find him that way. He's really not there, anywhere."

There was a full two minutes of stunned silence before Myka stood up and took charge. "Okay, well, Claud, why don't you go back to the Warehouse, see what you can find out. I mean, this has to be an artifact, right? So, I don't know, maybe we all need to go search the stacks, see if we can find him?"

Pete swallowed the last bite of cookie, "I'll check around town and see if anyone has seen him today. If he's been whammied he could be roaming around out there somewhere."

Steve spoke up next, "I'll go with Claudia and start hitting the top spots in the Warehouse while she's doing her thing. Myka, you can go with Pete and maybe check out the airport too, just in case. That will take a lot less time than searching the whole Warehouse. When you guys are finished in town you can come help me."

"And," Abigail added, "I'll stay here in case he shows up, or in case Mrs. Frederick pops in. He was supposed to meet with her today."

They all paled as Claudia voiced all their thoughts. "Oh crap. We have to find Artie before Mrs. F. finds out." Four scared faces nodded agreement even as they began moving.

"Yeah, good idea," Pete said. "Come on Mykes, let's go find Artie before Mrs. Frederick gives us the scary face."

Abigail was left standing in the B and B's front door alone as the agents headed toward their vehicles. Pete and Myka each took their own cars and headed for Univille while Claudia hopped into Steve's Prius. She waited until they had all disappeared down the road before shutting the door. A little at loose ends she began putting away the Monopoly game before there was a small flash of light and the B and B was suddenly empty.

Meanwhile Myka headed for Univille's small airport hoping some strange airplane artifact had not brought Artie there. Her fears that Artie would try to fly one of the planes out was put to rest quickly. The young woman manning the office informed Myka that she was the first person to stop by in three days, but told her she was more than welcome to take a look for herself. The airport had two hangers each holding a single plane and both were empty. On her way out Myka thanked the girl for her time and gave her her card.

"If you see anyone out here in the next few hours that doesn't belong, please give me a call."

"Sure. He's not dangerous is he?"

Myka smiled, "No, but he can be pretty grouchy."

The girl smiled as Myka dialed her phone on the way out the door.

"Hey Mykes, what's the word? Any airplane artif-"

"Pete?" Myka looked at her phone to check the connection. "Pete, can you hear me?" With a sigh she hung up and dialed again. This time his phone went straight to voicemail. She immediately dialed Claudia.

"Hey Myka? Any luck?"

"No, and now Pete isn't answering his phone. Can you ping it?"

"On it," Steve's voice came through after Claudia. "Myka search in town for Pete. I'm headed for the ovoid quarantine now."

Claudia spoke up before Myka could agree, "It looks like Pete's disappeared too. I'm finding nothing anywhere. I'm going to start looking for any type of disappear-y artifacts in the archives."

"Okay, guys, let's keep our Farnsworths close."

"Will do," came the tandem replay.

With Myka on her way back to Univille Steve made his was toward the ovoid quarantine to look for their missing patriarch. The Warehouse felt empty to him, even though Claudia was in the office. He had spent a lot of time cataloguing artifacts alone, and it had never felt like that. It was as though the building had been abandoned and was projecting the feeling onto him. By the time he reached his destination it seemed as if a physical force were both holding him back and pushing him forward at the same time. He opened his Farnsworth and as soon as Claudia answered he got down to business.

"Claud, something's wrong here. I'm not sure-"

Claudia saw flash on her Farnsworth's screen then Steve was gone. She immediately called Myka even as her fingers flew across her keyboard.

"Claud-"

"Myka! Get back to the Warehouse fast!"

Myka did not have a chance to respond before the computer wiz had hung up on her. Claudia replayed the video of Steve's call slowly, not sure entirely sure what she was looking to find. In her heart she knew she would find the answer in that footage. It was as if the Warehouse was trying to tell her something, and she preferred this method to getting zapped.

Myka made record time getting back to the Warehouse. She was terrified that Claudia would no longer be there when she arrived. She sprinted past the bombs and burst into the office with her heart in her throat. The young woman in question glanced quickly at Myka before turning back to the screen in front of her.

"Look at this! This is from Steve's Farnsworth just as he disappeared. What does that look like?"

"Artie!"

"Yeah, and if you look closely you can see-"

"Pete. Is that Abigail behind Artie?"

"Yeah, so I'm guessing Artie did get whammied and it's sucking in the rest of us. There is something else there too. I'm trying to bring it into focus."

Claudia spoke rapidly and typed even faster. It felt like the Warehouse was tapping its foot to hurry her along.

"Got it! What is that?"

"It's a door. Do you think that's the artifact?"

"I don't know. I'm going to start a search for door artifacts."

"On it! This is familiar, people hiding together, but I can't put my finger on it."

"Don't ask me. I'm not sure I've ever even played hide and seek. Okay, I've got fifteen; cross-referencing with disappearing acts, and that leaves us with two. Bing-okay this is weird."

"Claudia, is that you"

"Artie? Great! I found you. How did you get whammied by Jamie Avery's door?"

"Claud, what are you talking about?"

"Steve! I didn't realize how dark it was in here. I can't see anything. So, I where's Pete and Abigail?"

"Right here-"

Artie interrupted, "If the person standing on my foot doesn't move I'm going to ensure you work every weekend for a month."

"Sorry, if I had known I was going to be standing in a confined space for the entire evening I wouldn't have worn heels," Abigail apologized.

"Well, Artie," Pete spoke up. "If it weren't so cramped in here maybe a person could get comfy."

"Not with your elbow in my back," Steve spoke up. "Why are we stuck in here anyway, and where is here?"

"As I was trying to tell Myka before I was zapped into this place with the four Musketeers Jamie Avery's door is somewhere behind Steve. The door was the door to a closet where he hid during the first ever game of Sardines, whatever that is."

"Ooh, Sardines, love that game!" Pete said. "It's like hide and seek only in reverse. There is one person hiding and everyone else has to find them. When someone finds the hider they get in the hiding place too. All the seekers end up crammed like sardines into the hider's spot. The last one to find the group loses. We had loads of fun with that game in college."

"Anyway, basically if you touch the door it turns you into the hider, in your own home. Then it starts pulling your friends and family into the so called game with you. If no one figures out where the door hid everyone then the missing people just stay missing. The worst part is that the door compels the seekers to not look where the door is."

"But Myka had all the clues, right?" Artie sounded worried.

"Yeah. I just found the door when I got sucked into your whammy."

"It's not my whammy."

"It is totally your whammy," Abigail argued.

"Hey, Steve, man, could you reach up and scratch my shoulder? I can't reach."

Steve sighed. "Pete, I don't think-"

"Come one. I'm dying. It's too cramped for me to reach."

"Fine."

"Oh, wow," Claudia said. "Pete, it's dark in here and the sounds you're making are making me very uncomfortable."

"Me too," Artie groused. "This is entirely too much togetherness for my comfort."

"I agree," Abigail said. "Someone is pulling my hair, and Pete, it better not be you while you're making that sound."

"Eww," Claudia said.

"Okay enough!" Artie said, putting an end to all the noises and shuffling feet. "Can we just stand in quiet silence until Myka gets us out of here? Please?"

"Yeah, I'm down with that."

"Fine by me."

"That sounds great."

"I don't know. It depends on how long it takes her."

"Pete, that wasn't a request!"

Myka stood staring at Claudia's empty chair for a solid thirty seconds before reality kicked in. She launched herself into the newly vacated office chair and began looking through all the information Claudia had managed to find. After searching through everything twice Myka decided to watch the video from Steve's Farnsworth one more time. Then she had her answers. She ran to the Goo Room and headed straight for Claudia's newly remade goo grenades. She grabbed two and ran back toward Artie's bedroom in the Warehouse. She knew she was running out of time. She could actually feel the pull Steve had mentioned. She placed one of the grenades and set the timer, but kept the other one tightly in her hand and waited. She did not have to wait long.

"Ow, my feet are killing me," Steve complained.

Before he could say more there was a flash and something solid knocked Artie into Pete.

"What? Artie, man, cut it out."

"It's not my fault. Someone shoved me."

"It wasn't me," came Abigail's and Claudia's denials.

"It was me."

"Myka?" Pete asked.

"Okay everyone, I've got this figured out, so just close your eyes."

Despite the darkness of the space her friends all trusted her and did as she asked. They could all hear her counting down in a whisper. Then there was a metallic sound that was amplified by the small, dark space.

"Three, two, one."

Suddenly everyone gasped at the bang and the cold sensation covering their bodies. They all opened their eyes and blinked at the light. Six goo covered people were standing uncomfortably close together outside Artie's closet in his bedroom. Artie was holding the glass door knob of a solid wood door that was once painted white. The door was propped against the closet door. Myka was the first to step away from the group. All the others soon followed, backing just a few feet away from Artie, who was still holding the door knob.

Claudia was the first one to find her voice, "Way to go Myka! Was that one of my new goo grenades?"

"Yeah, the timer worked great. I put one on the outside of the door and had one in my hand. Both sides of the door had to be gooed or it wouldn't have worked."

"So that's why we're all dripping goo in my bedroom?" Artie grumbled.

"Hey, Artie we could still be cramped like sardines in your fake closet. Get it? Sardines?" Pete put in.

"Thanks Pete," Steve replied. "We got it. Can we go home now? I really want to take a shower. I have goo in places that never needed to be gooed."

"Yeah," Claudia agreed. "Take me home, Steve."

"Me too," Abigail said as she hurried to the door.

"Right behind you," Pete said.

"I'm coming too," exclaimed Myka.

Artie smiled. "I'm staying right here so I don't have to wait on a shower," he yelled after his retreating agents.

Artie looked at the clock on his wall. It was just after seven o'clock. He had been stuck to that door since three. He sighed wearily as he picked up his robe and headed for his small bathroom.

"Arthur, I was beginning to worry. You weren't at Abigail's, and I couldn't find Abigail or any of your agents."

Artie jumped in fright as his heart skipped a couple of beats. He spun around to face the voice.

"Mrs. Frederick! I forgot all about out meeting. I'm sorry. There was a small problem with Jamie Avery's door. I was moving it away from Houdini's door. Those two have been wreaking havoc for weeks. Anyway, I tripped and I must have touched it because the next thing I knew it was all dark and I couldn't get out."

He sagged a little as he ended what felt like an excuse.

"Ah, yes. I assume Abigail and the others were pulled in as well?"

"Yeah, it was a little after three the last time I looked at my watch."

"Well, I can see that you're tired. Why don't I come back in the morning and we can talk then?"

"That sounds good, actually. Thank you."

"Very well," she said as she turned to leave. "Oh, and Arthur, what do you know about Karl August Ferdinand von Borcke's Iron Cross medal?"

Artie stopped himself from gaping. "Do we know where it is?"

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about, but it can wait until morning. Good night Arthur."

Before he could bid her good night as well, she was gone. "I hate it when she does that."